Meet The Press
November 22, 2009
Sen. Richard Durbin
Sen. Diane Feinstein
Sen. Joe Lieberman
Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchinson
Gregory: hey Dick amazingly Harry Reid got 60 Dems to vote for something
Durbin: I know it’s crazy - but I still think Ben Nelson will find a way to fuck us
Gregory: Kay didn’t the Democrats fail last night?
Hutchinson: this is a terrible bill that adds to the deficit and we need to start all over and just do
what Republicans want
Gregory: Kay how can we stop this terrible bill?
Hutchinson: wave around pictures of Obama
as a Nazi Witch Doctor
Gregory: the bill raises taxes and kills kittens!
Feinstein: oh can it Fluffy
Gregory: [ high pitched voice ]
But the public option is bad!
Feinstein: the current system sucks and this
helps millions of people Greggers
Gregory: Holy Joe will you stop this bill
Lieberman: I voted for the bill so I could keep my Committee Chairmanships but I must filibuster
the public option
Lieberman: a public option will worsen our
current recession because it will add to debt decades from now
Gregory: wow that is bad
Lieberman: it will be very expensive and horrible and also everyone will enroll in it so it undermine the private insurers
Gregory: Holy Joe I have a question - does the Afghan war also have to be deficit neutral too?
Lieberman: oh yes
Gregory: but you voted for the all the wars anyway
Lieberman: because I’m the last honest man
Durbin: the public option is a good fucking
Gregory: ok let me be an advocate for the Republican party here - would be you willing
to drop the option in favor of a trigger?
Gregory: you say no - but your eyes say yes
Feinstein: I heard you were moron
Gregory: will you pleeeeease vote against
a public option?
Feinstein: calm down Fluffy
Hutchinson: small business health plans
will solve everything
Gregory: and people say I’m a dolt
Gregory: this is higher taxes! And expanded entitlement!
[ looks in mirror, fluffs hair ]
Lieberman: helping poor people costs money - which is the worst thing ever in the history
Gregory: didn’t you used to be a liberal?
Lieberman: this is a radical departure from free-market principles - we must trust the insurance companies!!
Durbin: [ leans over, punches Lieberman in the face ]
Feinstein: thanks dick
GOP Congressman: Obama hasn’t fixed
Geithner: hey dipshit Bush handed us a
Gregory: should Geithner be fired?
Lieberman: no - we should deny people health insurance: that will turn the American economy around!
Feinstein: California is a total basket case
Audience: electing a bodybuilder Governor sure seems like a good idea now doesn’t it
Feinstein: we need high speed rail so politicians
can get out of town fast when the riots begin
Gregory: good idea
Hutchinson: Obama was sworn in January
and there is still high unemployment and the cause is the debt!!
Gregory: you’re joking
Hutchinson: Health care! Debt! Word Salad!
Gregory:[waves foam finger] Fire Tim Geithner!!!
Hutchinson: Fluffy will you shut the fuck up I want to bash the Obama stimulus!
Feinstein: Goddammn Fluffers you are an idiot
Gregory: is Obama dithering on our Glorious Invasion of Afghanistan??
Lieberman: if we fail to pour thousands of troops into a far-off desert land it will destabilize the area
Gregory: will you leave your brain to science fiction?
Gregory: is Charles Krauthammer right about
Eric Holder and KSM?
Feinstein: you are a true dimwit, aren’t you
Gregory: but isn’t this a show trial?
Feinstein: no it isn’t Stupid
Gregory: but he told to his employees
'not to fail' which is the height of fascism!!
Durbin: Failure is an Option every week on Meet the Press
Hutchinson: every freedom-loving country in the world needs to know that that we are willing to torture terrorists, hold people without trial, invade other nations, and beg NATO to do it all for us
Gregory: what about these mammogram guidelines?
Feinstein: if you object well then get the test
Hutchinson: this is rationing which never happens in the USA because insurers always cover everything
Gregory: of course