Sunday, November 22, 2009

Meet The Press - November 22, 2009

Meet The Press
November 22, 2009
Sen. Richard Durbin
Sen. Diane Feinstein
Sen. Joe Lieberman
Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchinson
Gregory: hey Dick amazingly Harry Reid got 60 Dems to vote for something

Durbin: I know it’s crazy - but I still think Ben Nelson will find a way to fuck us

Gregory: Kay didn’t the Democrats fail last night?

Hutchinson: this is a terrible bill that adds to the deficit and we need to start all over and just do
what Republicans want

Gregory: Kay how can we stop this terrible bill?

Hutchinson: wave around pictures of Obama
as a Nazi Witch Doctor

Gregory: the bill raises taxes and kills kittens!

Feinstein: oh can it Fluffy

Gregory: [ high pitched voice ]
But the public option is bad!

Feinstein: the current system sucks and this
helps millions of people Greggers

Gregory: Holy Joe will you stop this bill

Lieberman: I voted for the bill so I could keep my Committee Chairmanships but I must filibuster
the public option

Gregory: why?

Lieberman: a public option will worsen our
current recession because it will add to debt decades from now

Gregory: wow that is bad

Lieberman: it will be very expensive and horrible and also everyone will enroll in it so it undermine the private insurers

Gregory: Holy Joe I have a question - does the Afghan war also have to be deficit neutral too?

Lieberman: oh yes

Gregory: but you voted for the all the wars anyway

Lieberman: because I’m the last honest man

Durbin: the public option is a good fucking
idea dammit

Gregory: ok let me be an advocate for the Republican party here - would be you willing
to drop the option in favor of a trigger?

Durbin: no

Gregory: you say no - but your eyes say yes

Feinstein: I heard you were moron

Gregory: will you pleeeeease vote against
a public option?

Feinstein: calm down Fluffy

Hutchinson: small business health plans
will solve everything

Gregory: and people say I’m a dolt

Gregory: this is higher taxes! And expanded entitlement!
[ looks in mirror, fluffs hair ]

Lieberman: helping poor people costs money - which is the worst thing ever in the history
of America

Gregory: didn’t you used to be a liberal?

Lieberman: this is a radical departure from free-market principles - we must trust the insurance companies!!

Durbin: [ leans over, punches Lieberman in the face ]

Lieberman: Ow!

Feinstein: thanks dick

GOP Congressman: Obama hasn’t fixed
the economy!

Geithner: hey dipshit Bush handed us a
fucking Depression

Gregory: should Geithner be fired?

Lieberman: no - we should deny people health insurance: that will turn the American economy around!

Feinstein: California is a total basket case

Audience: electing a bodybuilder Governor sure seems like a good idea now doesn’t it

Feinstein: we need high speed rail so politicians
can get out of town fast when the riots begin

Gregory: good idea

Hutchinson: Obama was sworn in January
and there is still high unemployment and the cause is the debt!!

Gregory: you’re joking

Hutchinson: Health care! Debt! Word Salad!

Gregory:[waves foam finger] Fire Tim Geithner!!!

Hutchinson: Fluffy will you shut the fuck up I want to bash the Obama stimulus!

Feinstein: Goddammn Fluffers you are an idiot

Gregory: is Obama dithering on our Glorious Invasion of Afghanistan??

Lieberman: if we fail to pour thousands of troops into a far-off desert land it will destabilize the area

Gregory: will you leave your brain to science fiction?

Gregory: is Charles Krauthammer right about
Eric Holder and KSM?

Feinstein: you are a true dimwit, aren’t you

Gregory: but isn’t this a show trial?

Feinstein: no it isn’t Stupid

Gregory: but he told to his employees
'not to fail' which is the height of fascism!!

Durbin: Failure is an Option every week on Meet the Press

Hutchinson: every freedom-loving country in the world needs to know that that we are willing to torture terrorists, hold people without trial, invade other nations, and beg NATO to do it all for us

Gregory: what about these mammogram guidelines?

Feinstein: if you object well then get the test

Hutchinson: this is rationing which never happens in the USA because insurers always cover everything

Gregory: of course


Anonymous said...

Feinstein: we need high speed rail so politicians can get out of town fast when the riots begin

Gregory: good idea

OMG that's funny!


arbus said...

I turned on Press the Meat and when I saw Holy Joe I had to turn it off. This is sooooo much better.

Anonymous said...

[ leans over, punches Lieberman in the face ]

I would pay lots of money to see this happen in reality!

Anonymous said...

Great minds think alike........................................