November 15, 2009
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton
Stephanopoulos: Obama invaded Afghanistan but can we really win there?
Clinton: George you can be sure if Obama wants to conquer Afghanistan he’s going to damm well do it
Stephanopoulos: Ambassador Eikenberry says more troops will hurt the effort
Clinton: we’re going to defeat al-qaeda dammit!
Stephanopoulos: didn’t we do that already?
Clinton: yes but they’re very wily - they have
ties to the unsavory elements of the indigenous people there
Stephanopoulos: Hamid Karzai?
Clinton: The Taliban
Stephanopoulos: Karzai is pretty corrupt isn’t he?
Clinton: it’s ok we’re going to get a Official Certification that he’s only to spend money
in a non-corrupt and totally ethical way
Stephanopoulos: you can’t even get that
in New Jersey!
Clinton: we need to find an off-ramp out of there
Stephanopoulos: it looks like we got lost
and drove into another country
Clinton: Pakistan is a theatre
Stephanopoulos: Saint Giuliani of 9/11 says the American justice system sucks
Clinton: well he was US Attorney from NYC so
he would know
Clinton: no you twerp
Stephanopoulos: can you find nice homes for all the Gitmo detainees who turned out to be innocent
Clinton: we’re going to get them low-rate mortgages
Stephanopoulos: Sarah Palin wants to a coffee
date with you
Clinton: I’d love to meet her and find out how her brain works
Stephanopoulos: are you running for Governor
of New York?
Clinton: ha - I’m already Secretary of State
for god’s sake
Stephanopoulos: welcome Saint Rudy - are you running for Governor?
Giuliani: yes - I plan to lose to Andrew Cuomo
Stephanopoulos: you praised federal trials for terrorists before the GOP went full-in crazy
Giuliani: oh no no but you see a fair trial will take too long - plus there is a risk that they might be found not guilty and we can’t take that chance
Giuliani: also this sends a wrong message - that
we are not at war with random crazy people everywhere like Al-Qaeda, the Taliban, and U.S. Army Major Hasan
Stephanopoulos: are you saying Major Hasan was a foreign soldier who declared war on the U.S.?
Giuliani: yes - he had novelty business cards that said “Soldier of God”!
Stephanopoulos: to be fair Mike Huckabee
has those too