Sunday, November 15, 2009

Meet the Press with Hillary Clinton, Newt Gingrich & Al Sharpton - November 15, 2009

Meet The Press
November 15, 2009
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton
Secretary of Education Arne Duncan
Newt Gingrich
Al Sharpton
Gregory: Hi Hillary

Clinton: morning Fluffy

Gregory: Secretary Clinton why would we enforce the rule of law against really bad people?

Clinton: Greggers New York City isn’t afraid to try these people and bring them to justice

Gregory: but having super-terrorists in New York City is so scary!

Clinton: Calm down Fluffy - I don’t how it works
in California but here in New York our jails have locks and everything

Gregory: speaking of being terrified of brown swarthy terrorists - why haven’t you closed
Gitmo yet?

Clinton: we want to leave it nice so we’re painting and mowing the lawn first

Gregory: makes sense

Gregory: I hear Obama is considering invading Afghanistan

Clinton: maybe

Gregory: Jill Eikenberry says sending more troops to Afghanistan could backfire

Clinton: you mean Karl Eikenberry

Gregory: him too

Clinton: we need to defeat al-qaeda

Gregory: ok

Clinton: and also the Taliban

Gregory: right

Clinton: so we can’t leave until the Afghan government has defeated the Taliban on its
own and rules a peaceful nation

Gregory: what’s the deal with Hamid Karzai

Clinton: on the plus side he’s a handsome man
and a snappy dresser - on the other hand he’s a power-hungry megalomaniac

Gregory: just like Donald Trump

Clinton: look Bush completely fucked up
this country

Gregory: yes Afghanistan is in really bad shape

Clinton: I meant the U.S.

Gregory: oh

Clinton: I don’t think I can overstate how hated George Bush was around the world and frankly he dropped the ball on Bin Laden along with everything else he touched

Gregory: Obama is going to pay homage to
Our Chinese Overlords

Clinton: you know when my husband Bill was President we almost eliminated the debt and since then Stupid wasted 2 trillion dollars so it’s up to Obama and me to fix all his mistakes

Gregory: how do we combat the wily orientals?

Clinton: sure we’re rivals but we have a common enemy who presents a threat to the stability of the whole world

Gregory: North Korea?

Clinton: Sarah Palin

Gregory: She wants to have coffee with you

Clinton: it would be fascinating to meet someone who’s never read a newspaper before

Gregory: will you read her book?

Clinton: I will if she does

Gregory: can her brand of Crazy take over the GOP?

Clinton: I sure hope so

[ break ]

Gregory: OMG it’s such a cute odd couple - Newt Gingrich and Al Sharpton are going to come up with a bipartisan solution to failing education in America!

Gregory: Newt and Al - both of you are widely disliked - so thank you for coming on my show today

Gingrich: right on

Sharpton: dude!

[ fist bump each other ]

Gregory: people say America doesn’t manufacture anything anymore Arne but you say we have excellent Dropout Factories

Duncan: that’s right - we want achievement and to raise the bar and remove firewalls

Gregory: those are some very inspiring clichés

Duncan: we must challenge the status quo, go outside our comfort zones and hope for change

Gingrich: this is the civil right of the 21st century

Duncan: we need good schools

Gregory: interesting

Gingrich: some schools are poor and violent and that’s bad

Sharpton: the poor and minorities are really getting screwed by our failing schools

Gregory: Newt you wanted to rid of the Department
of Education

Gingrich: in an ideal world every child would get
a Pell grant and buy their education on the open free market

Sharpton: hell parents have failed as well

Gregory: have we achieved anything?

Sharpton: we have succeeded in getting Newt
and me back on tv!

Gregory: since the teachers unions are evil why should we believe that a liberal will enforce accountability?

Duncan: if there was real accountability Rachel Maddow would take your job Fluffy

Gregory: what if teachers lie to you?

Duncan: I could kiss their ass like you do

Gingrich: the teachers union is responsible for
kids going to prison

Sharpton: we also need parents involved

Gregory: now wait just a minute - I invited you here
to bash teachers unions not for some debate about education

Sharpton: I heard back in Harlem you were a moron

Gingrich: Al Sharpton and I can inspire the whole world with our bipartisanship attention-seeking

Gregory: Are our teachers just stupid and should we have a West Point of Teachers?

Duncan: hard-working, service, public service,
blah blah blah

Gingrich: Jefferson said self-knowledge is vital

Gregory: Thomas Jefferson?

Gingrich: no George Jefferson - in the Hawaii episode

Gregory: that is so wise

Gingrich: the damm kids need discipline for the first time in their lives!

Sharpton: I never knew I was underprivileged because my mother taught me right

Gregory: Should we have a national failed curriculum?

Gingrich: no because some districts want to
teach kids that Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs to meetups with blond haired blue-eyed Republican tax-cutting Jesus


Anonymous said...

I saw the very same nailed it perfectly, especially the Gingrich/Sharpton vaudeville team. Thanks.

Plum Pudding said...

The Comedy Channel should give you a show, CoT

Anonymous said...

Loved this:

Gingrich: Jefferson said self-knowledge is vital

Gregory: Thomas Jefferson?

Gingrich: no George Jefferson - in the Hawaii episode

Gregory: that is so wise

Good stuff!


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Duncan: if there was real accountability Rachel Maddow would take your job Fluffy

If only we had a media that worked to inform us, rather then spread propaganda for our corporate overlords.

xx said...

Oh, how you nailed Arne Duncan, my least favorite Obama appointee.

1803 Jo Anne Dr. said...

Near the end of the Meet the Press segment on education Gingrich said:

If you talk to (public school) teachers who are really good, they need provisions for discipline. They need to go back to a classroom where the children learn and where the children are expected to behave and where they can enforce discipline. And here in D.C., that's a major problem. We have a friend whose daughter is now teaching in a public school here where there have been 23 lawsuits this year over discipline in a public school that's fundamentally undisciplined. And so teachers are told basically, "You can't get enough control to teach." And this is why, when you go out to the KIPP school and to other systems like that--and there are 82 KIPP schools in the country--they're very structured. The Mastery schools, very structured. These kids, for the first time in their lives, are being given discipline; and therefore, they can attract great teachers because they can actually focus on the kids.

Thus, Gingrich acknowledges that public school students in bad areas are undisciplined - cannot be disciplined. And his answer is charter schools and non-certified teachers? Insane. What about the kids left out of charter schools - the ones who cannot be disciplined?

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IndieTarheel said...

Gregory: will you read her book?

Clinton: I will if she does

Gregory: can her brand of Crazy take over the GOP?

Clinton: I sure hope so
Pure unadulterated WIN.

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