Meet The Press
November 8, 2009
Gov. Haley Barbour
Gov. Ed Rendell
Gregory: General I love your fatigues
Gregory: was this Fort Hood guy a lone gunman
Casey: I can’t answer that
Gregory: people think that counseling veterans stressed out by combat and then being sent to Iraq himself may have made him snap
Casey: and this is a surprise to you?
Gregory: how did the Army miss the warning signs?
Casey: Fluffy we really don’t know what happened
Gregory: but he hated our wars!
Casey: you are a silly person
Gregory: if he wanted to be discharged why not let him?
Casey: are you kidding - a muslim psychiatrist is like gold fluffy - gold!
Gregory: we send soldiers to repeated tours of duty - is that bad?
Casey: sure - we’re thinking about training soldiers to deal with it better
Gregory: but we will keep sending them into combat?
Casey: the empire won’t run itself Greggers
Gregory: can U.S. muslims fight our ongoing
war on Islam?
Casey: we don’t have a war on Islam
Gregroy: ok - should we send 40,000 troops
Casey: yeah like I’m going to answer that
Gregory: The House passed a Democratic health reform bill so let me turn to an expert - Haley Barbour
Barbour: those Dems fahailed!
Gregory: aren’t the Democrats doomed Ed?
Rendell: I heard you were a moron
Gregory: but the centrists!
Rendell: calm down Fluffy
Barbour: theah merkin paypal don’t want government crammed down theah throat
Gregory: the middle class will hate the bill won’t they
Rendell: look you idiot it’s a good bill that will help millions of people
Gregory: Governor Barbour are the Democrats totally doomed?
Barbour: sadly yes - David Broder said so
Gregory: oh noe!
Barbour: people are very angry at health care reform - they want jobs - so of course they are turning to Republicans with their great track record
Gregory: the Moonie Times and Politico say Obama is doing too much and also not doing enough
Rendell: wow that’s stupid
Gregory: but he’s doing too much
Rendell: that’s silly
Gregory: just bash Obama ok
Barbour: Look its very simple - Obama is only popular because he is black and Americans just love
Gregory: of course
Gregory: what do you think of Sarah Palin
Barbour: she’s an idiot
Gregory: could she be President?
Barbour: of what?
Gregory: will you run for President?
Barbour: we’ve done worse than me
Rendell: I don’t know about that
Gregory: Ed is Obama totally doomed?
Rendell: yeah whatever Fluffers
Gregory: please sing the praises of Saint Ronnie of the Deficit
Barbour: Reagan helped ordinary people not the rich fat cats on Wall Street
Rendell: what the fuck??
Gregory: do we need to send 40,000 more troops
Barbour: definitely and if Obama sends then I promise we won’t compare him to Hitler anymore
Gregory: and if he doesn’t?
Barbour: the entire 2010 election will revolve around Dachau
Rendell: where are all these troops supposed to come from?
Barbour: Buddha will provide
[ break ]
Gregory: Obama has to send non-existent troops to Afghanistan or else he will be called a British-Indonesian-Kenyan-Muslim American-hater
Maddow: they will call him StalinHitler no matter what
Gillespie: we have learned from the mistakes of the Bush administration that Obama is a bad President
Dionne: oh wait I just remembered something about Afghanistan - we’re totally fucked there
Gregory: Obama achieved a great victory last night
Maddow: except for not covering women
Gillespie: the bill uses the word “shall” and of course we can’t have government mandating things
Brooks: we’re America - we can’t afford to help sick Americans
Dionne: Reagan said Medicare was terrible - in 50 years Gillespie will sing the praises of Pelosi-care
Gillespie: under Obamacare I won’t live that long!
Maddow: the Republican plan really would wreck the economy - no one ever mentions that because they’re so worthless
Dionne: It’s simple - health care reform is a good fucking idea
Brooks: the problem with our system is we spend
too much making sick people well
Gregory: The Democrats lost on Tuesday!
Gillespie: Conservatives won in Virginia which is truly amazing
Maddow: Deeds lost because he sucked and ran away from Obama
Brooks: Democrats lost the county executive race in Westchester because Obama is bad man
Gregory: We have 10% unemployment in the
Maddow: hey you might as well have second stimulus because the Dems and Obama are going to get blamed anyway
Brooks: John Maynard Keynes was wrong about everything
Dionne: actually the stimulus was too small
Gillespie: we need to bring back that Bush economy - fuck yeah!