November 22, 2009
Sen. Ben Nelson
Sen. Tom Coburn
Stephanopoulos: Ben Nelson can you live with
the health reform bill or will you kill yourself
if it’s enacted
Nelson: no I hate it but Harry Reid threatened me
Nelson: he would have read the entire bill to me and that was more than I could handle
Stephanopoulos: Crazy Tom you promised to read the whole bill out loud - why did you cave in?
Coburn: I can’t read
Coburn: the problem with health care is that people have too much health which costs too much
Nelson: the Republican is right
Stephanopoulos: what a diverse panel this is!
Coburn: This is bill is fascist! Why do specialists make more money than primary care?? It’s just
Wasserman-Schultz: yes because everyone at Dachau had good health care and were mostly worried about the skyrocketing premiums
Coburn: that’s what I heard
Wasserman-Schultz: with all due respect did you
go to school in the Caribbean?
Coburn: I am an verteran of the great Grenada Lebanon Distraction War
Blackburn: this is government takeover of
health care and also it fails because there is no malpractice reform
Wasserman-Schultz: Medicare is pretty successful
Blackburn: sure, if you’re fan of Hitler!
Wasserman-Schultz: Hey dumbass this plan covers people and saves money
Stephanopoulos: Ben Nelson you’re one of
the Democrats who oppose the public option for no reason
Nelson: because it’s fascism - which is fine for Massachusetts but not Nebraska
Stephanopoulos: so you will vote against it
if it has a public option
Nelson: no I will oppose it for many other reasons!
Stephanopoulos: what’s the real reason Ben
- be honest
Nelson: it undermines the private insurers
Coburn: name one government agency that
Stephanopoulos: Medicare, Veterans health, the CDC, the Pentagon-
Coburn: that’s a government-centered approach
Stephanopoulos: -to government
Coburn: indeed we should turn over all military affairs to private contractors
Stephanopoulos: I thought we did
Coburn: Medicare denies care all the time
- this bill establishes a Department of Death Panels and Killing Grandparents
Stephanopoulos: that could be controversial
Blackburn: on page 1,200 of the health bill it bans all mammograms - it’s amazing!!!
Wasserman-Schultz: oh that’s bullshit
Blackburn: these conveniently timed Bush-era recommendations are outrageous!
Coburn: I can’t believe a bureaucracy would decide what is covered under insurance!
Nelson: I agree - insurers are some of the most wonderful people I know whereas all bureaucrats spend their days dreaming of killing people
Stephanopoulos: but if you don’t have some guidelines how do control costs?
Nelson: I want to save costs - I just don’t want the rules to be applied to white people in Nebraska
Blackburn: Obama’s czar is going to be in
the exam room!
Wasserman-Schultz: we haven’t discussed the insurance companies rationing at all
Blackburn: sure they’re evil - but they make money and we need that in America
Stephanopoulos: Tom Coburn I know your insanity is a sore subject but people say you were a party
Coburn: that’s a lie
Stephanopoulos: you didn’t serve as an intermediary with Ensign and his crazy family?
Coburn: oh that - yeah I did that - but only because I’m such a nice guy
Stephanopoulos: I can see that
Coburn: you don’t know what it’s like in the Republican Senate caucus - I’m obsessed with lesbians in high school bathroom and I’m considered the normal one