December 6, 2009
Guests:
Sec. Hillary Clinton
Sec. Bob Gates
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Stephanopoulos: Sec. Gates and Clinton thanks for coming - President McCain says we should stay in Afghanistan forever
Gates: this isn’t an exit strategy - it’s a gradual conditions-based get-the-fuck-out-of-that-hellhole-strategy
Stephanopoulos: so when do we leave
Gates: we will bring in the cavalry and they will stand on a hill and watch Afghanistan disintegrate
Stephanopoulos: should we commit troops to Karzai who makes the Godfather look like Mr. Rogers?
Clinton: he may be a corrupt bastard but he’s
our corrupt bastard
Stephanopoulos: ok
Clinton: the proof will be in the pudding
Stephanopoulos: interesting metaphor
Clinton: it’s not a metaphor - that’s where he
hides his bribes
Stephanopoulos: ah
Stephanopoulos: John Kerry points out that Bush and Pakistan let Osama bin Laden get away
Gates: yeah so what
Stephanopoulos: well where is Osama?
Gates: we haven’t received a Christmas
card from him in years
Stephanopoulos: no idea where he is?
Gates: He has been practically invisible for a long long time
Stephanopoulos: He was on Jay Leno twice
last month
Gates: see what I mean
Stephanopoulos: talk Taliban to me
Clinton: they have to renounce violence
and extremism
Stephanopoulos: you can’t even get that
from the Teabaggers
Stephanopoulos: Shouldn’t this war be paid for while we fight it for the first time ever now that a black man is President??
Clinton: the Afghan war will be paid for by not fighting a useless war in Iraq
Stephanopoulos: why spend $30 billion to get 100 Al-Qaeda fighters - you could send them all
to Harvard for that
Gates: yeah but we’re trying to get them away from schools of radical rhetoric
Stephanopoulos: that’s a good point
Stephanopoulos: What’s your best argument for getting further bogged down Afghanistan?
Gates: the mighty Soviet Union was defeated there and it brought down the entire empire and breaking up that nation
Stephanopoulos: well I’m convinced
Stephanopoulos: Sec. Clinton should we
invade Italy?
Clinton: it would be more fun that going in the middle east
Stephanopoulos: Awesome
Stephanopoulos: Don’t we have to defeat Al-Qaeda in Afghanistan or it will destabilize Pakistan and Yemen?
Feingold: no they will all move to Pakistan - rather
we should not be there so they will not leave
Stephanopoulos: so should we leave or go?
Feingold: we should have a rational policy
Stephanopoulos: that’s it?
Feingold: you’d be surprised how controversial
that is in Washington
Stephanopoulos: ok
Feingold: no one would invade Afghanistan in
2009 would they?
Stephanopoulos: but for 9/11
Feingold: but we won when we chased them
into Pakistan
Stephanopoulos: can you stop this surge in Afghanistan?
Feingold: probably not - but we in the U.S. are
out of money
Stephanopoulos: speaking of that - can we afford a public health option?
Feingold: it’s fucking exciting fucker!
Stephanopoulos: Senator your language!
Feingold: sorry dude but the details of public policy get me all hot motherfucker!
Stephanopoulos: ok thanks Russ
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2 comments:
Stephanopoulos: He was on Jay Leno twice last month
Gates: see what I mean
Awesome, as always.
~
Stephanopoulos: why spend $30 billion to get 100 Al-Qaeda fighters - you could send them all
to Harvard for that
Gates: yeah but we’re trying to get them away from schools of radical rhetoric
Stephanopoulos: that’s a good point
hahaha It's official - I no longer have to listen to these people at all. Thank you CoT for freeing up my Sunday mornings. Catching up with your translations is a far better use of my time. I feel like I was there!
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