Host: David Gregory
Guests:
Sec. of State Condi Rice
Andrea Mitchell
Erin Burnett
Michelle Norris
**************************
Gregory: Holy shit Bush said he wanted to be humble and not arrogant!! Were you out of your fucking minds??
Rice: well who among us has not completely fucked everything up for seven straight years??
Gregory: um are you serious?
Rice: people who say Africans and Arabs aren't capable of democracy or don't deserve rights are arrogant
Gregory: who are those people
Rice: the live in a box under my bed
Gregory: so to fight their arrogance we must bomb and torture innocent people
Rice: exactly
Gregory: Holy shit Bush said he wanted to be humble and not arrogant!! Were you out of your fucking minds??
Rice: well who among us has not completely fucked everything up for seven straight years??
Gregory: um are you serious?
Rice: people who say Africans and Arabs aren't capable of democracy or don't deserve rights are arrogant
Gregory: who are those people
Rice: the live in a box under my bed
Gregory: so to fight their arrogance we must bomb and torture innocent people
Rice: exactly
Gregory: you foreign policy sucked
Rice: well it's hard its not easy like being the best ice skater in Alabama
Gregory: any regrets
Rice: didn't stop genocide in Sudan
Gregory: so why didn't we do it?
Rice: well Bush thought about it?
Gregory: when?
Rice: on the 17th hole at Pebble Beach
Rice: hey we tried to stop genocide but we can't do much after all we're not members of the international criminal court
Gregory: because Bush refused to join
Rice: oh well sure
Gregory: so first Rwanda and now Darfur
Rice: yeah but we stopped Saddam's genocide in Iraq
Gregory: when was that?
Rice: in 1986
Gregory: when Rumsfeld shook his hand
Rice: never heard of him
Gregory: Iraqis are throwing shoes at Bush
Rice: yeah but Bush was standing next to our puppet regime!
Gregory: you say you are proud of screwing up in Iraq and would do 1,000 times over
Rice: oh well you have to take the long view the 9/11 hijackers came from there
Gregory: no they didn't
Rice: forget it i'm rolling
Gregory: ok
Rice: hey they're friends with Kuwait and Egypt now
Gregory: Egypt where Al Qaeda is from
Rice: exactly
Gregory: the President demanded optimism
Rice: that's true but it was fun we were all like mary tyler moore in Ordinary People
Gregory: tight lipped forced cheefulness
Rice: right we must never give in to pessimism and hand wringing
Gregory: is that why Laura looks like that?
Rice: I don't know about their family issues
Gergory: It sounds like a psychological mess
Rice: yeah but in 50 years things might get better
Gergory: what guidance did Bush tell you when Iraq was a total disaster?
Rice: he said he believed in freedom
Gergory: so he's just a moronic child
Rice: you have no idea
Gergory: now that I have one last chance to interview Condi Rice - let me bash the the Clintons
Rice: hee hee hee
Gregory: let's play hopscotch
Rice: i was alabama state hopscotch champion
Gregory: of course
Gergory: now that I have one last chance to interview Condi Rice - let me bash the the Clintons
Rice: hee hee hee
Gregory: let's play hopscotch
Rice: i was alabama state hopscotch champion
Gregory: of course
Gregory: how can you trust the north koreans
Rice: hey we were very resolute for 5 years
Gregory: then they built a bomb
Rice: no it was a crude nuclear device
Rice: we tested the korean soil
Gregory: ok ok you failed to stop Iran from building a bomb as well
Rice: no we were proved fucking right after all we sounded the nuclear bomb alarm and no one believed us
Gregory: and Iran now has influence in Iraq
Rice: yes but they failed to rule Iraq so that proves we won
Gregory: Obama won!
Rice: yes it says something about slavery as America's birth defect
Gregory: were you rooting for Obama
Rice: of course he's light years better than McCain
Gregory: what's next for you
Rice: I'm going to relive the glory days of 9/11 and talk about our lack of innocence and our need to invade other countries and torture people
Gregory: I'm sure your book will further that endeavor
Rice: I want to talk about how anyone can grow up to a disastous secretary of state if they are willing to tell drunken white privileged frat boys whatever they want to hear about how their dicks are bigger than some arab strong man
Gregory: well thanks very much for coming Condi it's been quite a ride
Rice: [ sobs ]
Gregory: car bailout?
Burnett: Republicans found a solution - kill unions - Obama should also take on unions to prove is independence
Norris: Obama has this crazy plan to build roads an schools and hospitals
Gregory: whacky!
Norris: Obama will have a lot of power for a liberals who hates economics
Gregory: can we incentivize the plan going forward?
Burnett: the core problem is we must reinflate the bubble!
Gregory: Blago says he is guilty... guilty of being adorable!!!
Marin: he's the son of a steelworker and quotes Kipling and he believes this shit
Gregory: wow
Marin: it's on baby -- Fitz vs. Blago!
Mitchell: this is crazy Illinois can't have a senator as long as Fitz is going after Blago
Gergory: so Balgo should appoint Fitz to the Senate
Mitchell: brilliant!
Marin: Daley said Blago should appoint Daley
Gregory: brilliant!
Marin: this is a 76 page charge he's screwed
Gregory: how fucked is Obama
Norris: it's tough he's innnocent because Obama told the truth but people didn't hear it
Gregory: because the american people have a hearing problem
Norris: right the media like dogs cannot hear high pitched sounds or the truth
Marin: the new standard is Obama must rush to the police any negotiations with Blago
Gregory: Caroline Kennedy ate at motherfuckin' Sylvia's!
Mitchell: fuck!
Gregory: she couldn't answer if Israel should negotiate with Hamas!
Mitchell: she won't support a non-existent democratic mayor for new york!
Gregory: wow!
Mitchell: don't fuck with Andrew Cuomo!
Gregory: let my quote Charles Manson and Krauthammer
Burnett: yeah but democrats Corzine and Bloomberg bought their senate seats!
Mitchell: what the fuck is Krauthammer's problem?? - it's an appointment!!
Gregory: Bloomberg says it's aristocratic
Mitchell: the billionaire who wants a third term???
Gregory: look at bernie madoff - if you can't trust a white man who can you trust??
Burnett: no one!
Gregory: John McCain was right Chris Cox should be fired!
Mitchell: all hail John McCain - but Bill Clinton is also to blame
Gregory: Obama's cabinet has not radical muslims!
Marin: it's too bad
Norris: a lot Westerners
Mitchell: it's fucking brainpowered meritocracy
Gregory: best and brightest
Burnett: it's all about jobs and labor - he's got fuck over the unions
Gregory: wow!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Merry Merry CoT. Peace and joy to you and yours.
Rice: people who say Africans and Arabs aren't capable of democracy or don't deserve rights are arrogant
Gregory: who are those people
Rice: the live in a box under my bed
Gregory: so to fight their arrogance we must bomb and torture innocent people
Rice: exactly
Gregory: you foreign policy sucked
Rice: well it's hard its not easy like being the best ice skater in Alabama
Gregory: any regrets
Rice: didn't stop genocide in Sudan
Gregory: so why didn't we do it?
Rice: well Bush thought about it?
Gregory: when?
Rice: on the 17th hole at Pebble Beach
-------------
I love that stuff!
Taterhaid
Happy New Year CoT. Thanks so much for your translations. I'd be lost without you.
Amazing .. I will bookmark your blog and take the feeds also... Big thanks for the useful info i found on Comentari de categoria nova.
This is a sort of blog we can have loads of information i would like to appreciate the intelligence of this blog’s owner.That is really ridiculous. There are too many ways that marketing has gone too far.
I found this is an informative and interesting post for I think it is very useful and knowledgeable. I would like to thank you for the efforts you have made in writing this article. I am hoping the same best work from you in the future as well. In fact your creative writing ability has inspired me. Really the article is spreading its wings rapidly.
Post a Comment