Saturday, December 20, 2008

Meet the Press - December 14, 2008

Meet the Press
December 14, 2008
Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan
Illinois Lt. Gov. Pat Quinn
Michigan Gov. Jennifer Granholm
Former Mass. Gov. Mitt Romney
Former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina
Wal-Mart President & CEO Lee Scott
Google CEO Eric Schmidt


Gregory: Will Balgo quit?

Madigan: either that or commit self defenestration

Gregory: the guy needs money

Quinn: as the lt. governor i hope he quits

Gregory: how objective of you

Gregory: but you're hardly objective

Madigan: fuck you

Gregory: but you want to be senator!

Madigan: watch it Gregory i have recordings of you too

Gregory: like what?

Madigan: you dancing with Karl Rove

Gregory: what knd of guy is Blago is like a good bad guy

Quinn: he's like a blundering crook in a ripoff of Pulp Fiction or Bottle Rocket

Gregory: interesting

Quinn: i like democracy but hey

Gregory: special election

Madigan: we are America's Taint

Gregory: OMG Rahm once had contacts with the Governor of his home state!!!

Todd: um so fucking what

Gregory: it's a huge scandal!

Todd: could be

Mitchell: it's huge!!!

Gregory: how is this a scandal?

Mitchell: because Rahm didn't have Jesse Jackson on his list

Gregory: holy shit!!

Todd: let's gossip more

Mitchell: pay to play is part of life

Gregory: like chuck schumer!

Todd: what's his crime then

Mitchell: he got caught

Gregory: does this ever happen in Washington?

Todd: yes chuck schumer!!!

Gregory: we won in Iraq just as Bush is leaving!

Todd: it's exciting

Gregory: People love Obama!

Todd: that was before Obama appoint Blago Secretary of Stealing

Gregory: why did the bailout fail?

Granholm: because Republicans hate working people

David: why else?

Granholm: the GOP hates America

Romney: Frankly we want all those companies to thrive

David: and how do we do that

Mitt: kill all those unions

Romney: even liberals like Jack Welch is against the bailout!

David: well I'm sold

Granholm: other countries subisidize health care you idiot

Mitt: not here they don't

Granholm: liar

Mitt: Legacy costs!

David: what are those?

Mitt: Elderly people eating Fancy Feast instead of Friskies

Gregory: isn't the real problem that American cars suck?

Walmart Guy: people are buying frozen food at Sam's Club

David: the Economy is in Total Suck Mode

Fiorina: oh pshaw its just a deepening recession

David: oh ok

Carly: the problem is rich unions ignoring the little guy

Gregory: explain the economy to me Mitt

Romney: Bush has lost 11 trillion dollars

Gregory: where did it go?

Romney: China and Saudi Arabia

Gregory: what's answer?

Romney: cut taxes and raise government spending

Gregory: but you are a conservative!

Romney: yes i hate it but i support military spending which at least will not help poor people

Walmart Guy: more Americans are drinking heavily, taking drugs and eating leftovers

Gregory: and that's just the Bush family

Google guy: America has sunshine!

Gregory: what are people looking for on the Internet?

Google CEO: people are searching for "discounts" "saving money" and "fuck george w bush"

Granholm: let the dirt fly!

Carly: business taxes are too high!

Gregory: wow let me put on my serious monkey face

Gregory: Should the government insure the value of overpriced McMansions??

Walmart Guy: um okay

Granholm: we should retrain auto workers to weatherize houses and empty bedpans

Gregory: awesome

Romney: Fuck George Bush what is waiting for??

Greory: uh i thought you like him

Romney: no we need to jump start the economy! Now!

Google Guy: i would rather live in a Depression in the US than well in Europe

Gregory: job security and gelato - who needs it??

Walmart Guy: that's right - this is no time to be self-serving -- that's why we reached out to Obama and pushed for tax cuts for businesses

Gregory: what do you want for xmas?

Granholm: an auto bailout, access to credit, consumer confidence and an Easy Bake Oven

Fiorina: consumer credit, banks lending to auto companies and a malibu barbie

Google dude: solar energy and a GI Joe

Romney: economic stimulus and an air rifle

Walmart Guy: Wal Mart moms spending more on crappy stuff and a tonka truck

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

favorite exchange:

Mitt: Legacy costs!

David: what are those?

Mitt: Elderly people eating Fancy Feast instead of Friskies

Best line:

Gregory: wow let me put on my serious monkey face

Nice. Taterhaid