Meet The Press
February 24, 2008
Guest: Ralph Nader
Russert: will you run for President and help elect another Republican?
Nader: Look at Frank Luntz and Palestine anyone would conclude a lunatic like me should run for president
Russert: oh of course
Nader: the Pentagon spends a lot of money
Rusert: but they have invisible jets!
Nader: the nation is clamoring to repeal the Taft Hartley Act
Russert: oh definitely
Nader: i don't want to run but the people are demanding I run for example all the anti-slavery advocates
Russert: you elected George W. Bush
Nader: doesn't matter Jeb Bush would have stolen another 97,000 votes
Russert: is that the deal you had with him?
Nader: no the Mayor of Miami is responsible for Gore losing
Russert: you’re full of excuses
Nader: i'm amazed at the commie liberal intelligentsia who hate the voters
Russert: you’re a crackpot
Nader: get over it let's have multiple choice
Russert: you’re a spoiler
Nader: no they spoiled the system by suppressing me
Russert: Obama sez yur an egomanical nut
Nader: Obama is brilliant
Russert: so why not support him?
Nader: he has no sympathy for deaths of Palestinians and he should get involved in the Israeli intellectual peace movement
Russert: isn't that another country?
Nader: Congress has to solve the Israeli land issue
Russert: how will you feel about handing the election to the GOP?
Nader: it won't be so bad they are only criminals and evil and McCain is a vicious war monger
Russert: do you even see any differences between Dems and the GOP
Nader: Obama is a corporate lackey with no courage to get things done for the American people
Russert: do you have the courage to run for the Senate and get things done for the American people?
Nader: i have the courage to preen once every four years and talk about how wonderful I am
Russert: you’re old
Nader: David Letterman is very, very unfair
Russert: he's a fucking comedian dumbass
Nader: i will receive no money except from Republicans
Russert: will you waste money like Hillary?
Nader: no i will not buy any doughnuts
Russert: you have ruined your reputation by acting like a complete jackass
Nader: people die from hospital infections - only I can stop that
Russert: are you completely psychotic
Nader: it will be very easy for the Green party to turn over Congress and win the White House if we organize
Russert: dude you got lost on your way from the Green Room
[ break ]
Russert: Oooh it's a close one Obama barely leads in elected delegates
CTodd: she could win big three out of four states and still be screwed
CTodd: Texas chooses their delegates based on who can outrun longhorn steers in downtown Fort Worth and he's a very fast runner
Tim: well that is strange
Norris: it's worse than that - she has to run in high heels - the rules are really against her in Texas
Tim: wow that sounds bad
Russert: Hillary went ballistic this week what happened to the nice white lady?
Goodwin: she took the high road knowing she would lose but then Obama brought up that she supported NAFTA in 1996 and that is just very low politics
Russert: She says Obama is just like George W Bush because Bush promised change just like Barack does
Brooks: What the fuck does that even mean? i admire her but this ridiculous and anyway it's all slipping away from the campaign
Tim: why did they lose?
Brooks: because he's young and hungry like Mr. T in Rocky III
Norris: the Clinton campaign is accusing someone else of having no shame is really amazing
Obama: words matter look at the Declaration of Independence
Timmy: wow he stole line that from Thomas Jefferson
Obama: yeah but Jefferson stole it from John Locke
Clinton: that guy from “Lost” is running Obama's campaign and that's not real change
Goodwin: who among us hasn't committed plagiarism now and then
Tim: hell i though Deval Patrick and Obama were the same guy
Brooks: they're not? oh wow
Russert: Hillary steals lines too
Brooks: all they do is talk, talk, talk, - it ruins your brain
Russert: well that explains why i forgot how to use a spoon
CTodd: they just cannot believe they're losing to a state senator
Norris: they're trying to flush him out and make him the bad guy
Russert: will he take the Clinton bait?
Norris: no he’s too dignified
Timmy: Hillary took from Carter who took from Nixon who took from FDR who took it from some Hayes in 1876 who took it from Cicero who took from Og of the Wolf Clan who took from John McCain
Brooks: she should attack Obama on why he wasn't one of the Gang of 14 who have brought us wonderful bipartisanship
Goodwin: yeah that will work stupid
Russert: McCain is pure i love it
Norris: he was winning against the NY Times but then he fucked up by lying
Russert: but he can't lie
Norris: that was true until he became a presidential nominee
Ctodd: he is fucked because he has no money
Goodwin: so sad reporters knew Harding had an affair with Churchill but never said anything - they just sent Warren to the Orient
Russert: how did that go
Goodwin: it helped America
Brooks: who among us has not written letters in exchange to the FCC for $20,000 in cash?
Goodwin: McCain benefits from the Clenis now no one cares about sex
Timmy: McCain owns national security but Obama says he at least was against the whole concept of invading Iraq
Todd: he finally proved he could be a commander by giving that line
Russert: our young Jedi is learning
Todd: McCain really isn't good after 5:00 p.m.
Brooks: the election will depend on how terrified voters are
Goodwin: John McCain could be president how could you not be?