***********************************************************
The Chris Matthews Show, May 20, 2007
***********************************************************
Bob Woodward: My buddy Bush needs to ask what is the moral basis for the occupation of Iraq
Chris Matthews: um yeah what is it again
Woodward: he sez Iraq could get violent
David Brooks: I looked in teh eyes of iraqis they will die if we leave
Matthews: surge yes or no
Brooks: We’re on the 5th reel of this movie but iraqis are still sitting thru the previews
Mitchell: Maliki is teh looser - we withdraw in September
Kay: what happens when we leave - al qaeda could move in
Matthews: damm - so will there be a civil war?
Andrea Mitchell: Saudis say we will fight for Sunni minority, plus Iran sez dood be careful we will fight for Shia too
Brooks: im an expert on teh mentality of the bobos in Iraq - they're very primal they're into killing
Matthews: should we stay for 10 years
Kay: dood i wouldn't build a summer home their now
Woodward: it's very violent in Iraq it's almost as bad as Philly
Matthews: hey
Woodward: sorry dood
Chris: regional war?
Brooks: look i know the Saudis really well - did you know that there are only three real countries in the Middle East
Kay: quel idiot
Andrea: look i luv the iraq war and now its a terror base but people there do seem to hate us
Woodward: Saudis fear a war with Iran
Andrea: War Czar may rethink our strategery there
Brooks: i hope they will look into the abyss and freak out and its worth losing a solider a day until xmas to find out
Matthews: catalyst?
Woodward: something bad happening
Matthews: whoa sophisticated analysis
Mattthews: ok we’re back and here i mock Hillary with my lame musical jokes
Panel: heh
Matthews: hillary scares me she waves her hands like eva peron
Chris: i luv bill clinton
Brooks: maneater - evita - jesus christ superstar yeah that makes no sense at all
Chris: yur like teh Phantom of the Op-ed
Matthews: and we’re back let’s talk Third Parties i luv ross perot he’s the reason Clinton won
Chuck Hegel: i would really luv access to Bloomberg's money
Kay: the pundits luv a third party
Brooks: money's not enough they have no issues
Chris: but he’s so cuddly and competent
Brooks: dood that should a minimum requirement not a campaign slogan
Mitchell: this Bloomberg-Hagel thing is for real
Woodward: if only we had some egomanical billionaires in America
Kay: Wolfie was outed because Bush shoved him in pissing everyone off
Woodward: secret memos show iraq was an is a failed state
Brooks: al qaeda moving into Palestine i saw their U-Hauls with a logo of Osama on the side this weekend.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
McLaughlin Group, May 20, 2007
*******************************************************
McLaughlin Group, May 20, 2007
*********************************************************
McLaughlin: Immigration bill yes or no
Buchanan: its a secret beltway deal for amnesty 20 million illegals its an attack on the Republican base and Ronald Reagan and it could cost Bush the next election
John: wow tough talk
Buchanan: it will destroy the GOP and America!
Clift: its pretty tough on illegal immigrants actually but it may not pass
Blankely: i agree with Pat - but it could pass and Bush will sign it - if he does it will be a civil war in the GOP and he will be remembered as another Hoover
Zuckerman: i'm a businessman and i luv this bill
McLaughlin: you can bring in more indian computer geeks
Zuckerman: there’s a shortage in america of smart people and unskilled workers too
John: do we have an excess of anything?
Zuckerman: blowhard pundits
Clift: how do all these people go home and then come back
Blankely: right
Buchanan: im a friend to african americans and single moms Zuckman dood you are killing America!!!
Zucker: no we have low unemployment
Buchanan: so by bringing in more unskilled workers u take jobs away
Zuckerman: worker shortage!
Clift: not all illegal immigrants are unskilled
Buchanan: this law will destroy America
Clift: immigrants help America
Blankley: i hate it when we encourage people come to America
McL: yur an immigrant
Blankley: thats true
Zuckerman: Report on Olmert devastating
McLaughlin: wow
Zucker: Israelis must respond to attacks by Hamas
McL: peace process?
Zucker: there isn’t one
Clift: Israelis don’t want to get sucked into war in Gaza
Buchanan: Bush gave up all our leverage and has done nothing for seven years!
Blankley: come see the violence inherent in the system
Buchanan: we drove them to that violence
Clift: isolation sux
Zuckerman: they reject modernity
Clift: they’re not billionaires like you Mort - they were born in refugee camps which affects yur view of how wonderful modernity is.
McL: Is Sarkozy a star????
Buchanan: Yes he’s is a star
Clift: sure why not
Zuckerman: he luvs america
McLaughlin: the answer is Yes!
McLaughlin Group, May 20, 2007
*********************************************************
McLaughlin: Immigration bill yes or no
Buchanan: its a secret beltway deal for amnesty 20 million illegals its an attack on the Republican base and Ronald Reagan and it could cost Bush the next election
John: wow tough talk
Buchanan: it will destroy the GOP and America!
Clift: its pretty tough on illegal immigrants actually but it may not pass
Blankely: i agree with Pat - but it could pass and Bush will sign it - if he does it will be a civil war in the GOP and he will be remembered as another Hoover
Zuckerman: i'm a businessman and i luv this bill
McLaughlin: you can bring in more indian computer geeks
Zuckerman: there’s a shortage in america of smart people and unskilled workers too
John: do we have an excess of anything?
Zuckerman: blowhard pundits
Clift: how do all these people go home and then come back
Blankely: right
Buchanan: im a friend to african americans and single moms Zuckman dood you are killing America!!!
Zucker: no we have low unemployment
Buchanan: so by bringing in more unskilled workers u take jobs away
Zuckerman: worker shortage!
Clift: not all illegal immigrants are unskilled
Buchanan: this law will destroy America
Clift: immigrants help America
Blankley: i hate it when we encourage people come to America
McL: yur an immigrant
Blankley: thats true
Zuckerman: Report on Olmert devastating
McLaughlin: wow
Zucker: Israelis must respond to attacks by Hamas
McL: peace process?
Zucker: there isn’t one
Clift: Israelis don’t want to get sucked into war in Gaza
Buchanan: Bush gave up all our leverage and has done nothing for seven years!
Blankley: come see the violence inherent in the system
Buchanan: we drove them to that violence
Clift: isolation sux
Zuckerman: they reject modernity
Clift: they’re not billionaires like you Mort - they were born in refugee camps which affects yur view of how wonderful modernity is.
McL: Is Sarkozy a star????
Buchanan: Yes he’s is a star
Clift: sure why not
Zuckerman: he luvs america
McLaughlin: the answer is Yes!
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Hardball - Thursday, May 17
Hardball - Thursday, May 17 (Last Ten Minutes)
****************************************************************************
Tweety: yur from chicago like teh deep dish
Chicago Reporter: thanx
Tweety: immigration bill is teh fake
Chicago Reporter: its teh song and dance
Tweety: all that jazz
Chicago: yeah
Tweety: im cynical but tomorrow there will still be illegals
Chic: well give it a day
Tweety: will Congress really make it illegal to hire someone legally
Chic: maybe
Tweety: teh angloes luv the fence
Tweety: WSJ supports Abu Wall Street Journal is Shakespearean they also can't get blood off their hands
Ron Reagan: this scandal leads to the White House question is now who was beating up on Ashcroft in the hospital
O'Beirne: im in teh beltway i say this is boooring
Tweety: Ashcroft was in a coma like Michael Douglas in that Crichton movie
O'Beirne: but he followed the balloon with his eyes and he said go ahead and wiretap
Tweety: its like Barzzini in teh Godfather he sleeps with teh fishes
O'Beirne: his sex life is irrelevant dood
Reagan: it was totally illegal
O'Beire: no its legal now
Reagan: how about B4
O'Berine: i dunno
Reagan: well maybe we should r u a citizen or sheeperson
Tweety: wow David Mamet couldn't write this
Reagan: coffee is closers dood now take yur meds tweety
Rosie O'Donnell: invading iraq it like teh terrorism
O'Beirne: poor elizabeth she ain't not Hasselbeck girl she has to sleep with teh looser
Reagan: most americans would not accept $2,000 if their child was killed by an arab soldier in their hometown call me crazy
O'Beirne: the troops! the troops!
Tweety: u go gurl
O'Beirne: im bending over backwards to justify killing civilians
Reagan: Rosie isnt a good poster gurl
Tweety: im a nationalist but there r many people who hate america in know because they disagree with me
O'Beirne: rosie is fat
Tweety: there r gud critics like me who luv America and there are dirty hippie bloggers like that dood who duz teh Bobblespeak Translations who hate america and we must always remember the difference
****************************************************************************
Tweety: yur from chicago like teh deep dish
Chicago Reporter: thanx
Tweety: immigration bill is teh fake
Chicago Reporter: its teh song and dance
Tweety: all that jazz
Chicago: yeah
Tweety: im cynical but tomorrow there will still be illegals
Chic: well give it a day
Tweety: will Congress really make it illegal to hire someone legally
Chic: maybe
Tweety: teh angloes luv the fence
Tweety: WSJ supports Abu Wall Street Journal is Shakespearean they also can't get blood off their hands
Ron Reagan: this scandal leads to the White House question is now who was beating up on Ashcroft in the hospital
O'Beirne: im in teh beltway i say this is boooring
Tweety: Ashcroft was in a coma like Michael Douglas in that Crichton movie
O'Beirne: but he followed the balloon with his eyes and he said go ahead and wiretap
Tweety: its like Barzzini in teh Godfather he sleeps with teh fishes
O'Beirne: his sex life is irrelevant dood
Reagan: it was totally illegal
O'Beire: no its legal now
Reagan: how about B4
O'Berine: i dunno
Reagan: well maybe we should r u a citizen or sheeperson
Tweety: wow David Mamet couldn't write this
Reagan: coffee is closers dood now take yur meds tweety
Rosie O'Donnell: invading iraq it like teh terrorism
O'Beirne: poor elizabeth she ain't not Hasselbeck girl she has to sleep with teh looser
Reagan: most americans would not accept $2,000 if their child was killed by an arab soldier in their hometown call me crazy
O'Beirne: the troops! the troops!
Tweety: u go gurl
O'Beirne: im bending over backwards to justify killing civilians
Reagan: Rosie isnt a good poster gurl
Tweety: im a nationalist but there r many people who hate america in know because they disagree with me
O'Beirne: rosie is fat
Tweety: there r gud critics like me who luv America and there are dirty hippie bloggers like that dood who duz teh Bobblespeak Translations who hate america and we must always remember the difference
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Republican Debate in South Carolina - May 14, 2007
Republican Debate in South Carolina - May 14, 2007
******************************************************************************************
Our contestants tonight include a methodist, a couple of baptists, a catholic who's been married three times, a kansan with 5 children, and a mormon whose hobbies include scientology, magic underwear and sculpting his hair.
Let's get to it!
Brit Hume: Iraq
McCain: read Osama bin Laden's new book - seriously, it's good it lays out of lot of good ideas on how take over iraq
Thompson (Tommy, not Fred): dood i studied for this debate look i even memorized how many soliders have been killed
Hume: yeah but that over an hour ago
Thompson: damm
Mitt: i'm here tonight to project success not failure look dood all teh muslims are all united the sunni and shiia and buddhist want to bring down the united states government
Chris Wallace: wow
Brownback: we're losing because of liberal bloggers aren't behind teh war - dood harry reid has stabbed us all in the back
Wallace: solution
Brownback: teh Articles of Confederation were great we should try it in iraq
Wallace: how evil are democrats
Guiliani: they're the worst evilness in teh history of warfare
Wallace: will tehy follow us here
Rudy: dood thank god in Fort Dix teh FBI caught that guy they sent to those doods to offer to sell them machine guns
Tancredo: dood should we have constabulary force
Wallace: no because this isn't 18th century london dood
Tancredo: as president i will make no decisions but i will cheer teh troops as they are killed
Ron Paul: dood i tried to offer a declaration of war in 2002 and guess what the hawks said no
Wallace: Reagan was the best
Paul: Reagan turned and ran cause he found out the Middle East was not in the hollywood hills
Duncan Hunter: one of us will be commander in chief in a few months
Wallace: dood do u know something we dont
Huckabee: i dont know much about foreign policy but i will get good advice like from jesus
Lorelei Gilmore: we have no choice now but offer very strong empty platitudes on Iran - next thing you know Egypt will get the bomb and then maybe Israel
Moderator: dood yur "flip flop mitt"
Romney: read my hair no new taxes
Mod: i like it
Romney: im going to cut unnecessary waste and spending
Mod: wow never head that before
McCain: if we dont keep teh tax cuts all the little farmers will have to recalculate and they're not too smart
Mod: dont repeate the drunker sailor story dood
McCain: oh yes i will u cant stop me
Mod: dood way to prove yur not senile
Huckabee: Americans are not smart enough to know the taxes they're paying we spend like John Edwards at a beauty shop
[huge crowd reaction]
Rudy: dood i tamed teh evil liberal black hispanic gay nyc and i can do it DC - also i would fire 50% of all federal workers u can get yur mail once a week
Brownback: dood i drive a hybrid can u imagine a Republican saying that proudly a few years ago let me thrown in a stoopid joke about my teenage daughter
Mod: dood thats cold
Thompson: im the veto king
Mod: name three federal things yu would cut
Thompson: i cant
Paul: look at what we can cut FEMA for example
Mod: Yikes
Paul: dood we're borrowing from the Chinese
Mod: dood did u just say u would eliminate Homeland Security in a time of war?!
Paul: yeah why not
Hunter: its sad we dont even make bombs anymore
Tancredo: i can't believe what im hearing all these doods are guilty of all the big spending the federal government should do nothing but defense of teh country
Hume: thanx time for a commerical break - and mr Tancredo its time for yur medication
Wallace: john edwards is teh looser
Gilmore: Mitt and Rudy are big phonies
Wallace: dood you supported gays, gun control, and Maaaarioooo Cuooomooo
Rudy: look i may be really weird but Hillary is going to boil xian babies in the white house
Wallace: answer my question r u teh phony
Rudy: George Will likes me
Wallace: ted kennedy is yur BFF
McCain: dood he has an awesome yacht and teh best liquor cabinet ive ever seen
Wallace: ok
McCain: look i wouldn't trust Lorelei over there to feed my cat much less take down Osama
Huckabee: yeah i raised taxes but dood the Supreme Court told me to
Wallace: what a wimp
Mitt: sure i acted liberal but trust me deep down im a trogdolyte Massachusetts is so blue its black
Wallace: okaaay
Brownback: teh problem with illegal immigration is that people come in teh country illegally
[ding ding]
Thompson: we invented frozen embryos in teh vast frozen tundra of Wisconsin
Rudy: there are millions of americans who make teh choice of abortion and u have to respect that in a democracy
Huckabee: the fact that when a sperm and egg meet they create a person in the central fact of being an american and that's why were go looking for boy souts and put miners in defective mines which al qaeda would never do
Brownback: let me point to my fictional uterus to argue that embryos are beautiful children of a loving god wow im tearing up
Romney: ive always loved the little fetuses but was pro-choice but then the gays and liberals in massachusetts started proposing rack upon rack of human farms i changed my mind
Mod: wow dood are u sure that wasn't an L Ron Hubbard book
McCain: we're really close to an immigration bill heck im from Arizona its illegals central
Mitt: the beauty of my plan is that it makes no sense at all
Wallace: i dont follow
Mitt: no one can criticize it its faaaabulous
McCain: dood yur a flip-flopper
Mitt: poopyhead
Rudy: im not soft on anything im running as a fascist
Mod: what's the answer
Rudy: a big fence and make every immigrant deal with the DMV
Hunter: we should build a big fence and then another bigger one behind that one
[ applause ]
Ron Paul: i come from the strong line of isolationists in teh republican party
Mod: but 9/11 9/11 9/11
Paul: dood why do u think 9/11 happened because we're always up in their business and their face
Rudy: hes saying that america invited the 9/11 attacks and that's terrible now u take that back
[thunderous applause]
Paul: dood we overthrew teh Shah they dont hate us for our freedom they wanted us to go to iraq so they could kill americans and guess what we did and they are
Rudy: may i go over there and punch him
Mod: no
Rudy: fuck
Mod: confederate flag
[audience boos ]
McCain: fuck you
Tancredo: for every scientist who sez global warming theres one who sez there isn't - oh and i just wanted to say to ron paul that its part of the islamic religion to attack america
Hume: when we come back we play "24"
Brit Hume: wow ok here's a really really detailed fictional disaster scenario but the real question is would u torture a prisoner
McCain: yes i would but we should never do it because we do not torture - u know i was tortured its about america - read teh army field manual its all in there
Hume: dood if you don't say u favor torture i will toss you off this stage right now
[throws pen down angily]
Guiliani: i would tell teh interrrogators to let their imaginations go wild
[ wild applause ]
Romney: i would deny them lawyers in fact i would double the size of Gitmo its faaaaaaabulous
Hume: dood tone it down
Hume: imagine a nightmare scenario in teh Dark Continent
Thompon: Colin Powell is black u know and if there is a country anywhere hostile to us if they're brown we should kill them!
Brownback: not only would i not go to the U.N. for authorization i would bomb Africa and then i would bomb the U.N.
Hunter: yur all wimps i would start torturing liberals then random people then the detainees in Gitmo
Gilmore: i would go to the U.N but just to tell them to fuck off
McCain: jesus christ yur all wannabe heroes
[applause]
Hume: what if a shopping center was hit
Romney: oh nooooooo!!!!
Hume: will no one here take my hint and declare marital law and outlaw the Democratic party???
Huckabee: lets use the word murder and sacrifice
Paul: if america was attacked again i would cut spending
Hume: ok
Paul: terms like 'enhanced interrogation technique' are Orwellian
Tancredo: okay i am just really freaking out right now listening to this you're all acting like this is fictional - i would tell Jack Bauer to throw the Constitution out the window because we are teh last best hope of western civilization
Hume: no more questions for u
Wallace: ok i am going to give u a really really really easy question do u wish there were more minorities voting Republican?
Gilmore: no fuck 'em if they can't be bothered to join teh GOP
Romney: i luv school testing and kids luv it too - thats civil rights
Hunter: China is buying weapons designed to kill Americans!!!!
Hume: Well thats it i want to thank all the candidates for scaring the shit out of everyone tonight - good night now im going to go hide under my bed
***************************************************************************************
******************************************************************************************
Our contestants tonight include a methodist, a couple of baptists, a catholic who's been married three times, a kansan with 5 children, and a mormon whose hobbies include scientology, magic underwear and sculpting his hair.
Let's get to it!
Brit Hume: Iraq
McCain: read Osama bin Laden's new book - seriously, it's good it lays out of lot of good ideas on how take over iraq
Thompson (Tommy, not Fred): dood i studied for this debate look i even memorized how many soliders have been killed
Hume: yeah but that over an hour ago
Thompson: damm
Mitt: i'm here tonight to project success not failure look dood all teh muslims are all united the sunni and shiia and buddhist want to bring down the united states government
Chris Wallace: wow
Brownback: we're losing because of liberal bloggers aren't behind teh war - dood harry reid has stabbed us all in the back
Wallace: solution
Brownback: teh Articles of Confederation were great we should try it in iraq
Wallace: how evil are democrats
Guiliani: they're the worst evilness in teh history of warfare
Wallace: will tehy follow us here
Rudy: dood thank god in Fort Dix teh FBI caught that guy they sent to those doods to offer to sell them machine guns
Tancredo: dood should we have constabulary force
Wallace: no because this isn't 18th century london dood
Tancredo: as president i will make no decisions but i will cheer teh troops as they are killed
Ron Paul: dood i tried to offer a declaration of war in 2002 and guess what the hawks said no
Wallace: Reagan was the best
Paul: Reagan turned and ran cause he found out the Middle East was not in the hollywood hills
Duncan Hunter: one of us will be commander in chief in a few months
Wallace: dood do u know something we dont
Huckabee: i dont know much about foreign policy but i will get good advice like from jesus
Lorelei Gilmore: we have no choice now but offer very strong empty platitudes on Iran - next thing you know Egypt will get the bomb and then maybe Israel
Moderator: dood yur "flip flop mitt"
Romney: read my hair no new taxes
Mod: i like it
Romney: im going to cut unnecessary waste and spending
Mod: wow never head that before
McCain: if we dont keep teh tax cuts all the little farmers will have to recalculate and they're not too smart
Mod: dont repeate the drunker sailor story dood
McCain: oh yes i will u cant stop me
Mod: dood way to prove yur not senile
Huckabee: Americans are not smart enough to know the taxes they're paying we spend like John Edwards at a beauty shop
[huge crowd reaction]
Rudy: dood i tamed teh evil liberal black hispanic gay nyc and i can do it DC - also i would fire 50% of all federal workers u can get yur mail once a week
Brownback: dood i drive a hybrid can u imagine a Republican saying that proudly a few years ago let me thrown in a stoopid joke about my teenage daughter
Mod: dood thats cold
Thompson: im the veto king
Mod: name three federal things yu would cut
Thompson: i cant
Paul: look at what we can cut FEMA for example
Mod: Yikes
Paul: dood we're borrowing from the Chinese
Mod: dood did u just say u would eliminate Homeland Security in a time of war?!
Paul: yeah why not
Hunter: its sad we dont even make bombs anymore
Tancredo: i can't believe what im hearing all these doods are guilty of all the big spending the federal government should do nothing but defense of teh country
Hume: thanx time for a commerical break - and mr Tancredo its time for yur medication
Wallace: john edwards is teh looser
Gilmore: Mitt and Rudy are big phonies
Wallace: dood you supported gays, gun control, and Maaaarioooo Cuooomooo
Rudy: look i may be really weird but Hillary is going to boil xian babies in the white house
Wallace: answer my question r u teh phony
Rudy: George Will likes me
Wallace: ted kennedy is yur BFF
McCain: dood he has an awesome yacht and teh best liquor cabinet ive ever seen
Wallace: ok
McCain: look i wouldn't trust Lorelei over there to feed my cat much less take down Osama
Huckabee: yeah i raised taxes but dood the Supreme Court told me to
Wallace: what a wimp
Mitt: sure i acted liberal but trust me deep down im a trogdolyte Massachusetts is so blue its black
Wallace: okaaay
Brownback: teh problem with illegal immigration is that people come in teh country illegally
[ding ding]
Thompson: we invented frozen embryos in teh vast frozen tundra of Wisconsin
Rudy: there are millions of americans who make teh choice of abortion and u have to respect that in a democracy
Huckabee: the fact that when a sperm and egg meet they create a person in the central fact of being an american and that's why were go looking for boy souts and put miners in defective mines which al qaeda would never do
Brownback: let me point to my fictional uterus to argue that embryos are beautiful children of a loving god wow im tearing up
Romney: ive always loved the little fetuses but was pro-choice but then the gays and liberals in massachusetts started proposing rack upon rack of human farms i changed my mind
Mod: wow dood are u sure that wasn't an L Ron Hubbard book
McCain: we're really close to an immigration bill heck im from Arizona its illegals central
Mitt: the beauty of my plan is that it makes no sense at all
Wallace: i dont follow
Mitt: no one can criticize it its faaaabulous
McCain: dood yur a flip-flopper
Mitt: poopyhead
Rudy: im not soft on anything im running as a fascist
Mod: what's the answer
Rudy: a big fence and make every immigrant deal with the DMV
Hunter: we should build a big fence and then another bigger one behind that one
[ applause ]
Ron Paul: i come from the strong line of isolationists in teh republican party
Mod: but 9/11 9/11 9/11
Paul: dood why do u think 9/11 happened because we're always up in their business and their face
Rudy: hes saying that america invited the 9/11 attacks and that's terrible now u take that back
[thunderous applause]
Paul: dood we overthrew teh Shah they dont hate us for our freedom they wanted us to go to iraq so they could kill americans and guess what we did and they are
Rudy: may i go over there and punch him
Mod: no
Rudy: fuck
Mod: confederate flag
[audience boos ]
McCain: fuck you
Tancredo: for every scientist who sez global warming theres one who sez there isn't - oh and i just wanted to say to ron paul that its part of the islamic religion to attack america
Hume: when we come back we play "24"
Brit Hume: wow ok here's a really really detailed fictional disaster scenario but the real question is would u torture a prisoner
McCain: yes i would but we should never do it because we do not torture - u know i was tortured its about america - read teh army field manual its all in there
Hume: dood if you don't say u favor torture i will toss you off this stage right now
[throws pen down angily]
Guiliani: i would tell teh interrrogators to let their imaginations go wild
[ wild applause ]
Romney: i would deny them lawyers in fact i would double the size of Gitmo its faaaaaaabulous
Hume: dood tone it down
Hume: imagine a nightmare scenario in teh Dark Continent
Thompon: Colin Powell is black u know and if there is a country anywhere hostile to us if they're brown we should kill them!
Brownback: not only would i not go to the U.N. for authorization i would bomb Africa and then i would bomb the U.N.
Hunter: yur all wimps i would start torturing liberals then random people then the detainees in Gitmo
Gilmore: i would go to the U.N but just to tell them to fuck off
McCain: jesus christ yur all wannabe heroes
[applause]
Hume: what if a shopping center was hit
Romney: oh nooooooo!!!!
Hume: will no one here take my hint and declare marital law and outlaw the Democratic party???
Huckabee: lets use the word murder and sacrifice
Paul: if america was attacked again i would cut spending
Hume: ok
Paul: terms like 'enhanced interrogation technique' are Orwellian
Tancredo: okay i am just really freaking out right now listening to this you're all acting like this is fictional - i would tell Jack Bauer to throw the Constitution out the window because we are teh last best hope of western civilization
Hume: no more questions for u
Wallace: ok i am going to give u a really really really easy question do u wish there were more minorities voting Republican?
Gilmore: no fuck 'em if they can't be bothered to join teh GOP
Romney: i luv school testing and kids luv it too - thats civil rights
Hunter: China is buying weapons designed to kill Americans!!!!
Hume: Well thats it i want to thank all the candidates for scaring the shit out of everyone tonight - good night now im going to go hide under my bed
***************************************************************************************
Sunday, May 13, 2007
The Chris Matthews Show - May 13, 2007
The Chris Matthews Show - May 13, 2007
***************************************************************************************************
Matthews: Republicans revolting on teh Preznit
David Gregory: they told him u have no credibility
Casey Stengel: Bushies think they're all wimps after all Hoover is a hero now
Katty Kay: hes a total mental case
Cynthia Tucker: he has a messiah complex - god told him to keep us in iraq with too few troops to succeed
Kay: hes teh Commander Guy
Stengel: Mitt Romney's gonna run as teh guy who thinks the war was badly managed and he can do better after all he ran teh Olympics and Duane Reed
Matthews: teh drugstore is dangerous
Gregory: yeah but was war a bad idea or just badly managed
Matthews: uh yeah
Gregory: no one is talking about the real question which is if we stop teh war in Iraq who do we go to war with next after all we must be at war at all times
Matthews: who made u an expert on teh middle east dood
Kay: but teh base still luvs Bush
Tucker: GOP base are impervious to teh facts shut up about the war
Matthews: i still luv McCain
Gregory: dood he'll stick with Bush
Kay: Tony Bliar is loathed in Britain because he is seen as Bush's poodle
Mattthews: yeah none of the other dogs want to sniff Barney's butt anymore its sad
Gregory: yeah but Blair was right about everything we must crush the middle east infidels!!!
Matthews: i luv teh movies!!!
[shows clip: "David Beckham, Harry Potter, teh Beatles, Bush is a bully"]
Kay: Chris yur crying over "Love Actually" yur so fucking weird dood
Gregory: i was hanging with the queen and I kissed the royal jewels and dood they're real and they're spectacular
Tucker: The Generals are hating on Bush
Stengel: Fred McGruff gave a bad speech
Matthews: Nooooooo!!!!!!!
Matthews: graduation advice
Kay: Travel see the world
Matthews: i luv Aussies
Gregory: thank teh people who allowed you to become teh whore u are today someday u might get to meet teh queen
Tucker: dont run up credit card debt
Matthews: boooorrrriiing!!!
Stengel: dont follow yur bliss study science
Matthews: dood yur with Time magazine
Stengel: ok smart dood - whats yur advice
Matthews: dont ever let anyone tell you mental illness is a barrier to hosting 2 tv shows if thats yur dream
************************************************************************************************
***************************************************************************************************
Matthews: Republicans revolting on teh Preznit
David Gregory: they told him u have no credibility
Casey Stengel: Bushies think they're all wimps after all Hoover is a hero now
Katty Kay: hes a total mental case
Cynthia Tucker: he has a messiah complex - god told him to keep us in iraq with too few troops to succeed
Kay: hes teh Commander Guy
Stengel: Mitt Romney's gonna run as teh guy who thinks the war was badly managed and he can do better after all he ran teh Olympics and Duane Reed
Matthews: teh drugstore is dangerous
Gregory: yeah but was war a bad idea or just badly managed
Matthews: uh yeah
Gregory: no one is talking about the real question which is if we stop teh war in Iraq who do we go to war with next after all we must be at war at all times
Matthews: who made u an expert on teh middle east dood
Kay: but teh base still luvs Bush
Tucker: GOP base are impervious to teh facts shut up about the war
Matthews: i still luv McCain
Gregory: dood he'll stick with Bush
Kay: Tony Bliar is loathed in Britain because he is seen as Bush's poodle
Mattthews: yeah none of the other dogs want to sniff Barney's butt anymore its sad
Gregory: yeah but Blair was right about everything we must crush the middle east infidels!!!
Matthews: i luv teh movies!!!
[shows clip: "David Beckham, Harry Potter, teh Beatles, Bush is a bully"]
Kay: Chris yur crying over "Love Actually" yur so fucking weird dood
Gregory: i was hanging with the queen and I kissed the royal jewels and dood they're real and they're spectacular
Tucker: The Generals are hating on Bush
Stengel: Fred McGruff gave a bad speech
Matthews: Nooooooo!!!!!!!
Matthews: graduation advice
Kay: Travel see the world
Matthews: i luv Aussies
Gregory: thank teh people who allowed you to become teh whore u are today someday u might get to meet teh queen
Tucker: dont run up credit card debt
Matthews: boooorrrriiing!!!
Stengel: dont follow yur bliss study science
Matthews: dood yur with Time magazine
Stengel: ok smart dood - whats yur advice
Matthews: dont ever let anyone tell you mental illness is a barrier to hosting 2 tv shows if thats yur dream
************************************************************************************************
Meet The Press - May 13, 2007
Meet The Press - May 13, 2007
******************************************************************************************
Russert: dood teh American people think the Iraq war was a mistake
McCain: well you know the American people think failure is teh suck
Russert: well why not
McCain: yeah but teh people dont get teh consequences of failure
Russert: teh people hate u and yur policies
McCain: kurds, turks, Saudis will go to war and then we'll have to partition bedrooms in Iraq if we do that they'll follow us in to American bedrooms
Timmeh: wow
McCain: i luv shock and awe but its true bush is a terrible president and it was all mismanaged - for that i blame Donald Rumsfeld
Timmeh: but not Bush of course
McCain: at the time we went to war given what the British said we had to invade iraq
Timmeh: thats it?
MCcain: also the Oil-for-Food program was breaking down
Timmeh: yur joking right
McCain: hey if we had known we'd fail well sure you wouldn't invade
Timmy: sorry yur confusing me
McCain: Al Qaeda is in Baghdad but we're making progress they're in other areas too
Timmeh: excellent but iraqi parliament wants us to leave
McCain: yeah but its in our interest to honor teh troops by not debating over and over and over again teh stoopit boring Iraq war
Tim: huh?
McCain: fuck the Iraqi parliament
Tim: oh ok
McCain: those fuckers are just playing to their base I’ve had it with this fucking democracy i saw all this in vietnam
Tim: yeah like in Platoon and the Killing Fields
McCain: clearly the democracy in Iraq is undermining our effort to establish a democracy in Iraq
Tim: how the fuck long is it going to take
McCain: well we fought a bloody civil war 100 years after the Revolution in 1776 so you figure it out
Timmeh: Iraqi referendum?
McCain: dood Iraq is too precious to be entrusted to the Iraqi people
Timmeh: who told you that
McCain: saddam hussein - he was pretty smart
Russert: why no Iraqi troops
McCain: it's a little baby democracy we're seeing "signifcant improvement"
Russert: dood that quote will come back to haunt u I guarantee it
McCain: a student of history will tell u we must crush iraq in order to save it
Russert: totally but how
McCain: we now have a totally awesome strategy
Timmeh: jesus h christ dood it's been four years and it's utter chaos
McCain: oh you can't trust the CIA do you realize they wanted us to invade Iraq and that was a really really bad idea
Timmeh: dood exactly what medications are u on???
McCain: i hope someday in teh future Americans will on teh front lines for 60 years but like in Korea hopefully a funny sitcom will be made
Timmeh: my head is spinning
McCain: yeah but in my pie-in-the-sky fantasy everything is great
Timmy: i can see that
McCain: look Timster i get it but we have only just begun this new strategy -- give it a chance to fail
Timmy: yur creepy
McCain: oh just cut off teh funding and starve our troops if u feel that way
Russert: yur so peevish lighten up and get a life
McCain: dood if we pull out of Iraq it will be genocide and America will be occupied by jihadists
Timmeh: is Iraq just like Somalia
McCain: there’s no comparison with Somalia except there was chaos in teh streets -- but Baghdad is vital if we control the Tigris and Euphrates we can control teh world!!!!!!
Tim: yur so optimistic
McCain: thats not fair I’ve been critical a lot heck I’ve flip flopped all the time
[Russert showing McCain in sunglasses and flak jack in Baghdad market]
Timmy: dood here's yur Dukakis moment
McCain: heh yeah
Tim: Sharpshooters, attack helicopters, 100 soldiers
McCain: dood i was there for 1 hour and bought some rugs and thing are better
Tim: but its really dangerous
McCain: see that only proves we have to stay until it's safe!
Tim: dood you are now officially making no sense at all
McCain: I'm not afraid to go anywhere and speak gibberish at any time
Tim: violence has gone up
McCain: see that proves we are winning
McCain: i will return to that market without any protection at all
Tim: oh yeah i'd like to see that
McCain: don't tempt me Tim Russert clearly i'm senile
Tim: GOP ready to give up on Iraq war
McCain: americans sad and frustrated blah blah blah blah even I get tired of saying it
Tim: [ yawn ]
MCain: these people are evil they tortured me in Vietnam!!
Tim: dood yur not having a flashback are u??
Tim: what a bummer you lose to Bush and then lose because you embraced Bush
McCain: i didn't embrace him - i hugged him
Tim: whatever u were his BFF
McCain: life isn't fair whaaaaaa
Tim: yur career is dying
McCain: i consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth
Tim: yur like Lou Gehrig maybe they'll name the disease of political failure after you
McCain: [clenches teeth and laughs] dood immortaility
Timmeh: u used to be pro-immigrant
McCain: no Chertoff is on board we're *this* close to an agreement
Tim: Ted Kennedy is fat
McCain: u should talk
Tim: heh okay
McCain: secure the Broders
Tim: he speaks for teh American people
McCain: he wuz in my living room
Tim: war sacrifice - higher taxes?
McCain: ok this is simple when yur in the GOP you can vote against tax cuts but you can never never ever ever vote to repeal tax cuts because that's "RAISING TAXES"
Tim: oh i see but law and economics sez its all fungible
McCain: sorry i went to Annapolis not teh University of Chicago
Tim: what did they teach you there
McCain: high government spending is very very bad except for military spending which doesn't count
Tim: oh that's very clever so whats the solution
McCain: bridge to nowhere blah blah
Tim: thats bullshit
McCain: ha ha ha
Tim: why do u keep laughing
McCain: its teh nervous habit
Tim: abortion!
McCain: fetuses are teh base of our party
Tim: rove v wade
McCain: we have to have a culture of human rights for uteruses of America
Tim: Citizenship for uteruses?
McCain: maybe white Americans could adopt them i have adopted several myself
Tim: Ethanol?
McCain: i like sugar in my coffee
Tim: what about cream
McCain: once u go black u never go back
Tim: Iowa caucuses caused u to change yur mind?
McCain: i can't respond to that - i am so pure the idea that i would pander has shocked me into silence
McCain: my energy level is great
Russert: dood you could not have shown less energy in this interview if you had been a potted plant
McCain: i hiked the grand canyon like William Henry Harrison
Russert: dood he died
*******************************************************************************************
******************************************************************************************
Russert: dood teh American people think the Iraq war was a mistake
McCain: well you know the American people think failure is teh suck
Russert: well why not
McCain: yeah but teh people dont get teh consequences of failure
Russert: teh people hate u and yur policies
McCain: kurds, turks, Saudis will go to war and then we'll have to partition bedrooms in Iraq if we do that they'll follow us in to American bedrooms
Timmeh: wow
McCain: i luv shock and awe but its true bush is a terrible president and it was all mismanaged - for that i blame Donald Rumsfeld
Timmeh: but not Bush of course
McCain: at the time we went to war given what the British said we had to invade iraq
Timmeh: thats it?
MCcain: also the Oil-for-Food program was breaking down
Timmeh: yur joking right
McCain: hey if we had known we'd fail well sure you wouldn't invade
Timmy: sorry yur confusing me
McCain: Al Qaeda is in Baghdad but we're making progress they're in other areas too
Timmeh: excellent but iraqi parliament wants us to leave
McCain: yeah but its in our interest to honor teh troops by not debating over and over and over again teh stoopit boring Iraq war
Tim: huh?
McCain: fuck the Iraqi parliament
Tim: oh ok
McCain: those fuckers are just playing to their base I’ve had it with this fucking democracy i saw all this in vietnam
Tim: yeah like in Platoon and the Killing Fields
McCain: clearly the democracy in Iraq is undermining our effort to establish a democracy in Iraq
Tim: how the fuck long is it going to take
McCain: well we fought a bloody civil war 100 years after the Revolution in 1776 so you figure it out
Timmeh: Iraqi referendum?
McCain: dood Iraq is too precious to be entrusted to the Iraqi people
Timmeh: who told you that
McCain: saddam hussein - he was pretty smart
Russert: why no Iraqi troops
McCain: it's a little baby democracy we're seeing "signifcant improvement"
Russert: dood that quote will come back to haunt u I guarantee it
McCain: a student of history will tell u we must crush iraq in order to save it
Russert: totally but how
McCain: we now have a totally awesome strategy
Timmeh: jesus h christ dood it's been four years and it's utter chaos
McCain: oh you can't trust the CIA do you realize they wanted us to invade Iraq and that was a really really bad idea
Timmeh: dood exactly what medications are u on???
McCain: i hope someday in teh future Americans will on teh front lines for 60 years but like in Korea hopefully a funny sitcom will be made
Timmeh: my head is spinning
McCain: yeah but in my pie-in-the-sky fantasy everything is great
Timmy: i can see that
McCain: look Timster i get it but we have only just begun this new strategy -- give it a chance to fail
Timmy: yur creepy
McCain: oh just cut off teh funding and starve our troops if u feel that way
Russert: yur so peevish lighten up and get a life
McCain: dood if we pull out of Iraq it will be genocide and America will be occupied by jihadists
Timmeh: is Iraq just like Somalia
McCain: there’s no comparison with Somalia except there was chaos in teh streets -- but Baghdad is vital if we control the Tigris and Euphrates we can control teh world!!!!!!
Tim: yur so optimistic
McCain: thats not fair I’ve been critical a lot heck I’ve flip flopped all the time
[Russert showing McCain in sunglasses and flak jack in Baghdad market]
Timmy: dood here's yur Dukakis moment
McCain: heh yeah
Tim: Sharpshooters, attack helicopters, 100 soldiers
McCain: dood i was there for 1 hour and bought some rugs and thing are better
Tim: but its really dangerous
McCain: see that only proves we have to stay until it's safe!
Tim: dood you are now officially making no sense at all
McCain: I'm not afraid to go anywhere and speak gibberish at any time
Tim: violence has gone up
McCain: see that proves we are winning
McCain: i will return to that market without any protection at all
Tim: oh yeah i'd like to see that
McCain: don't tempt me Tim Russert clearly i'm senile
Tim: GOP ready to give up on Iraq war
McCain: americans sad and frustrated blah blah blah blah even I get tired of saying it
Tim: [ yawn ]
MCain: these people are evil they tortured me in Vietnam!!
Tim: dood yur not having a flashback are u??
Tim: what a bummer you lose to Bush and then lose because you embraced Bush
McCain: i didn't embrace him - i hugged him
Tim: whatever u were his BFF
McCain: life isn't fair whaaaaaa
Tim: yur career is dying
McCain: i consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth
Tim: yur like Lou Gehrig maybe they'll name the disease of political failure after you
McCain: [clenches teeth and laughs] dood immortaility
Timmeh: u used to be pro-immigrant
McCain: no Chertoff is on board we're *this* close to an agreement
Tim: Ted Kennedy is fat
McCain: u should talk
Tim: heh okay
McCain: secure the Broders
Tim: he speaks for teh American people
McCain: he wuz in my living room
Tim: war sacrifice - higher taxes?
McCain: ok this is simple when yur in the GOP you can vote against tax cuts but you can never never ever ever vote to repeal tax cuts because that's "RAISING TAXES"
Tim: oh i see but law and economics sez its all fungible
McCain: sorry i went to Annapolis not teh University of Chicago
Tim: what did they teach you there
McCain: high government spending is very very bad except for military spending which doesn't count
Tim: oh that's very clever so whats the solution
McCain: bridge to nowhere blah blah
Tim: thats bullshit
McCain: ha ha ha
Tim: why do u keep laughing
McCain: its teh nervous habit
Tim: abortion!
McCain: fetuses are teh base of our party
Tim: rove v wade
McCain: we have to have a culture of human rights for uteruses of America
Tim: Citizenship for uteruses?
McCain: maybe white Americans could adopt them i have adopted several myself
Tim: Ethanol?
McCain: i like sugar in my coffee
Tim: what about cream
McCain: once u go black u never go back
Tim: Iowa caucuses caused u to change yur mind?
McCain: i can't respond to that - i am so pure the idea that i would pander has shocked me into silence
McCain: my energy level is great
Russert: dood you could not have shown less energy in this interview if you had been a potted plant
McCain: i hiked the grand canyon like William Henry Harrison
Russert: dood he died
*******************************************************************************************
The McLaughlin Group - May 13, 2007
The McLaughlin Group - May 13, 2007
*******************************************************************************
McLaughlin: US economy bad!
Jay Carney: teh ARM loans turned out to be a bad idea who knew
Freeland: god forbid John Edwards be right but yeah he's right
Tony Blankely: dood we have full employment of shitty jobs but with global warming and disasters home repair stocks are up
Maria Bartiromo: wages for hot-looking tv achors are going up
McLaughlin: Paulson?
Bartiromo: He sez Vietnamese stocks are doing well
McLaughlin: why no foreign investment in U.S.?
Carney: inequality is at all time mid-blowing highs which helps Democrats
Bartiromo: protectionism is bad - Dubai should be allowed to buy U.S. ports whats the harm
Freeland: foreigners think people in American don't like them i wonder where they got that idea
McLaughlin: SOX bad?
Carney: no they're in first place
McLaughlin: no stoopid Sarbanes-Oxley
Bartiromo: Paulson didn't really attack Sox
Carney: dood i resent that i'm as smart as Alan Greenspan
Freeland: why is money so cheap?
Blankley: i agree with Jay - Greenspan is teh man but i'm smart too
Maria: no recession
McLaughlin: Dems tough on Iraq whats up
Bartiromo: Dems are with the people
Blankely: polls says teh people wants to pull out even more than the Dems
Carney: Parliament long vacation would change the conversation at the American kitchen table
McLaughlin: The Iraqi parliament can't agree on anything
Iraqi VP: dood government is hard
Blankley: turns out bombing the shit out of Iraq did not turn it into a democratic paradise so we need a new parliament
Freeland: everyone is trying to blame that bad lazy iraqis
Carney: u can't travel within the Green Zone without flak jackets
McLaughlin: Afghanistan has become a total horror show is this because we have stressed the military
Carney: i dunno but it seems logical
Blankely: oh no this kind of thing happens all the time
Maria: its a tragedy
Freeland: this is insane we're supposed to be there to liberate these people not kill them
Blankley: [whiny voice] we killed a lot of French in WWII
*****************************************************************************************
*******************************************************************************
McLaughlin: US economy bad!
Jay Carney: teh ARM loans turned out to be a bad idea who knew
Freeland: god forbid John Edwards be right but yeah he's right
Tony Blankely: dood we have full employment of shitty jobs but with global warming and disasters home repair stocks are up
Maria Bartiromo: wages for hot-looking tv achors are going up
McLaughlin: Paulson?
Bartiromo: He sez Vietnamese stocks are doing well
McLaughlin: why no foreign investment in U.S.?
Carney: inequality is at all time mid-blowing highs which helps Democrats
Bartiromo: protectionism is bad - Dubai should be allowed to buy U.S. ports whats the harm
Freeland: foreigners think people in American don't like them i wonder where they got that idea
McLaughlin: SOX bad?
Carney: no they're in first place
McLaughlin: no stoopid Sarbanes-Oxley
Bartiromo: Paulson didn't really attack Sox
Carney: dood i resent that i'm as smart as Alan Greenspan
Freeland: why is money so cheap?
Blankley: i agree with Jay - Greenspan is teh man but i'm smart too
Maria: no recession
McLaughlin: Dems tough on Iraq whats up
Bartiromo: Dems are with the people
Blankely: polls says teh people wants to pull out even more than the Dems
Carney: Parliament long vacation would change the conversation at the American kitchen table
McLaughlin: The Iraqi parliament can't agree on anything
Iraqi VP: dood government is hard
Blankley: turns out bombing the shit out of Iraq did not turn it into a democratic paradise so we need a new parliament
Freeland: everyone is trying to blame that bad lazy iraqis
Carney: u can't travel within the Green Zone without flak jackets
McLaughlin: Afghanistan has become a total horror show is this because we have stressed the military
Carney: i dunno but it seems logical
Blankely: oh no this kind of thing happens all the time
Maria: its a tragedy
Freeland: this is insane we're supposed to be there to liberate these people not kill them
Blankley: [whiny voice] we killed a lot of French in WWII
*****************************************************************************************
Hardball, May 11, 2007
Hardball, May 11, 2007
***************************************************************************
Matthews: Iraqi parliament wants us to leave
Eugene Robinson: so why dont we leave
Matthews: its almost like we invaded
Brownstein: amazing that Dems are showing backbone it blows my mind
Matthews: bush isn't afraid of nuttin' - hes like teh cowardly lion
Tumulty: yeah
Matthews: bush is teh commander in chief - he needs no more power - the toothpaste is out of teh tubes
Tumulty: um yeah
Matthews: hes like Harry Truman he wants David McCullough to write a book about maybe call it Loserman
Robinson: he will never give in
Brownstein: Rudy is teh federalist
Matthews: hes jeffersonian - but will the crazies buy it
Tumulty: california is key to this strategy that’s where Rudy can win
Brownstein: no your wrong they're all wingnuts in Orange County
Matthews: i miss that show - that guy was hot
Robinson: calm down dood u still have one tree hill
Matthews: yeah
Robinoson: if abortion is murder why is it ok in California and not Montana
Lisa Myers: witness sez Governor of Nevada Jim Gibbons took bribes
Matthews: whats his evidence
Myers: dood saw teh briefcase full of money and casino chips
Matthews: buy maybe it was only singles
Myers: these were hundreds
Matthews: ok does he have an ax to grind
Myers: hes telling teh truth
Matthews: how can i tell if how old an an e-mail is
Myers: dood thats a science
Matthews: yur teh best
Miklaszewski: general Mixon was blunt - he said were not making any progress in iraq 60 deaths in diayla in 2007
Matthews: dood
Miklaszewski: he needs reinforcements its teh classic story of an empire trying to sieze territory thats not theirs
Matthews: yeah
Miklaszewski: we win in one area and teh insurgents move somewhere else
Matthews: well we always have teh iraqi government
Miklaszewski: oh i forgot Mixon sez they suck
Matthews: so we cant win
Miklaszewski: well militarily of course we need to cross our fingers and hope the iraqi government will solve every problem by September
Matthews: but Bush will just hold some stoopid press conference in September announcing victory is just around teh corner
Miklaszewski: dood its too late the iraqi government is so fucked up they wont even pretend to try
Matthews: its a revoltin’ development im quoting some stoopid cartoon from like 50 years ago
Ron Christie: we GOPers have been pushing for responsibility in Iraq for a long time - oh let me mention al qaeda
Robinson: dood u make me wish i wasn't black
Christie: im here, im weird, get used to it
Robinons: Shiites are going to piss on sunnis because they can
Matthews: Iraqi parliament 2 month vacation in France
Christie: for goodness sake they need to step it up -- u know they asked us to invade and greeted us as liberators the least they could do vote Republican
Matthews: oh shut up
Christie: support our troops and vote GOP
Robinson: what the fuck is victory anyway
Matthews: if they weren't brown we wouldn't be there
Matthews: and we're back with Michael Baschloss -- dood do any of they current candidates have the ability to give me a man-crush
Beschloss: u need more than testosterone u need judgement look at LBJ
Matthews: he wuz watching Patton
Beschloss: JFK supported the civil rights bill because blacks were rioting
Matthews: so what
Beschloss: but also he showed courage Dems lost the South
Matthews: Reagan sat down with Gorby
Beschloss: funny story - he though Gorby wuz Jack Benny
Matthews: will David McCullough write a book about Bush saying hez a hero
Beschloss: hell be dead first
Matthews: buy Beschloss's book for yur mother then she'll never call you again
Matthews: and we're back with a guy bashing Bush on teh war -- we were promised cheap gas dammmit
Hormats: yeah teh bush administration lied
Matthews: gee im shocked
Hormats: it was teh inconceivable
Matthews: so did we even try to get some $$$ from iraq
Hormats: dood unless u take rubble as currency i think you’re outta luck
Matthews: well i am from Philly
Hormats: u know Preznits used to tell teh truth about cost and sacrifice
Matthews: i miss FDR and WWII
Hormats: yeah bush hasn't even tried to get Americans involved in this war
Matthews: i beginning to think this war was a mistake
************************************************************************************
***************************************************************************
Matthews: Iraqi parliament wants us to leave
Eugene Robinson: so why dont we leave
Matthews: its almost like we invaded
Brownstein: amazing that Dems are showing backbone it blows my mind
Matthews: bush isn't afraid of nuttin' - hes like teh cowardly lion
Tumulty: yeah
Matthews: bush is teh commander in chief - he needs no more power - the toothpaste is out of teh tubes
Tumulty: um yeah
Matthews: hes like Harry Truman he wants David McCullough to write a book about maybe call it Loserman
Robinson: he will never give in
Brownstein: Rudy is teh federalist
Matthews: hes jeffersonian - but will the crazies buy it
Tumulty: california is key to this strategy that’s where Rudy can win
Brownstein: no your wrong they're all wingnuts in Orange County
Matthews: i miss that show - that guy was hot
Robinson: calm down dood u still have one tree hill
Matthews: yeah
Robinoson: if abortion is murder why is it ok in California and not Montana
Lisa Myers: witness sez Governor of Nevada Jim Gibbons took bribes
Matthews: whats his evidence
Myers: dood saw teh briefcase full of money and casino chips
Matthews: buy maybe it was only singles
Myers: these were hundreds
Matthews: ok does he have an ax to grind
Myers: hes telling teh truth
Matthews: how can i tell if how old an an e-mail is
Myers: dood thats a science
Matthews: yur teh best
Miklaszewski: general Mixon was blunt - he said were not making any progress in iraq 60 deaths in diayla in 2007
Matthews: dood
Miklaszewski: he needs reinforcements its teh classic story of an empire trying to sieze territory thats not theirs
Matthews: yeah
Miklaszewski: we win in one area and teh insurgents move somewhere else
Matthews: well we always have teh iraqi government
Miklaszewski: oh i forgot Mixon sez they suck
Matthews: so we cant win
Miklaszewski: well militarily of course we need to cross our fingers and hope the iraqi government will solve every problem by September
Matthews: but Bush will just hold some stoopid press conference in September announcing victory is just around teh corner
Miklaszewski: dood its too late the iraqi government is so fucked up they wont even pretend to try
Matthews: its a revoltin’ development im quoting some stoopid cartoon from like 50 years ago
Ron Christie: we GOPers have been pushing for responsibility in Iraq for a long time - oh let me mention al qaeda
Robinson: dood u make me wish i wasn't black
Christie: im here, im weird, get used to it
Robinons: Shiites are going to piss on sunnis because they can
Matthews: Iraqi parliament 2 month vacation in France
Christie: for goodness sake they need to step it up -- u know they asked us to invade and greeted us as liberators the least they could do vote Republican
Matthews: oh shut up
Christie: support our troops and vote GOP
Robinson: what the fuck is victory anyway
Matthews: if they weren't brown we wouldn't be there
Matthews: and we're back with Michael Baschloss -- dood do any of they current candidates have the ability to give me a man-crush
Beschloss: u need more than testosterone u need judgement look at LBJ
Matthews: he wuz watching Patton
Beschloss: JFK supported the civil rights bill because blacks were rioting
Matthews: so what
Beschloss: but also he showed courage Dems lost the South
Matthews: Reagan sat down with Gorby
Beschloss: funny story - he though Gorby wuz Jack Benny
Matthews: will David McCullough write a book about Bush saying hez a hero
Beschloss: hell be dead first
Matthews: buy Beschloss's book for yur mother then she'll never call you again
Matthews: and we're back with a guy bashing Bush on teh war -- we were promised cheap gas dammmit
Hormats: yeah teh bush administration lied
Matthews: gee im shocked
Hormats: it was teh inconceivable
Matthews: so did we even try to get some $$$ from iraq
Hormats: dood unless u take rubble as currency i think you’re outta luck
Matthews: well i am from Philly
Hormats: u know Preznits used to tell teh truth about cost and sacrifice
Matthews: i miss FDR and WWII
Hormats: yeah bush hasn't even tried to get Americans involved in this war
Matthews: i beginning to think this war was a mistake
************************************************************************************
The McLaughlin Group, May 6, 2007
The McLaughlin Group, May 6, 2007
Pat Buchanan: Pelosi and Reid are going to cave in
Clift: Bush is going to have to cave himself on something
Freeland: in the debate GOP all agreed that war is a disaster
Blankley: i'm very concerned about the democrats and they might not stick with the lefties
Clift: surge will fail in September
McLaughlin: May 2007 is the big turning point
Buchanan: no September is
Clift: Pat Buchanan is right, September is it and Maliki government is teh suck
Blankely: this is all phony Eleanor is right because remember Democrats want America to fail
McL: how do we jigger reality
John McLaughlin: Reagan-love what's up
Buchanan: Reagan was the best senile bad actor as President we've ever had
McL: who won the debate
Pat Buchanan: Romney won - Rudy lost
Clift: it was teh Gong Show these guys could not suck any more
Pat: ha ha you're right
Clift: three of them don't even believe in evolution
Pat: no Four!!! ha ha ha
Blankely: these guys are in plenty in touch with American people
CLift: the earth is not 6,000 days old dood
Blank: i'm talking about terrorism Eleanor you belong to a liberal anti-american cult
Clift: i'm laughing at your petty insults
Blank: Politico asked a bunch of liberal questions
McLaughlin: Winner was Ron Paul
McL: Is there a hex on Wolfie - he wrecked American defense and now the World Bank
Blankley: he should be fired we can't support this petty corruption even though i luv he big lug
Pat: i hate him he should be fired
Clift: amen
Blankely: u can't frame a guilty man in other words he should be fired
McLaughlin: yep
Predictions!!!
Pat Buchanan: Sarkozy wins
WSJ writer: Rupert will buy the Wall St. Journal
Clift: Tommy Thompson will drop out
McLaughlin: Imus will be back!
******************************************************************************
Pat Buchanan: Pelosi and Reid are going to cave in
Clift: Bush is going to have to cave himself on something
Freeland: in the debate GOP all agreed that war is a disaster
Blankley: i'm very concerned about the democrats and they might not stick with the lefties
Clift: surge will fail in September
McLaughlin: May 2007 is the big turning point
Buchanan: no September is
Clift: Pat Buchanan is right, September is it and Maliki government is teh suck
Blankely: this is all phony Eleanor is right because remember Democrats want America to fail
McL: how do we jigger reality
John McLaughlin: Reagan-love what's up
Buchanan: Reagan was the best senile bad actor as President we've ever had
McL: who won the debate
Pat Buchanan: Romney won - Rudy lost
Clift: it was teh Gong Show these guys could not suck any more
Pat: ha ha you're right
Clift: three of them don't even believe in evolution
Pat: no Four!!! ha ha ha
Blankely: these guys are in plenty in touch with American people
CLift: the earth is not 6,000 days old dood
Blank: i'm talking about terrorism Eleanor you belong to a liberal anti-american cult
Clift: i'm laughing at your petty insults
Blank: Politico asked a bunch of liberal questions
McLaughlin: Winner was Ron Paul
McL: Is there a hex on Wolfie - he wrecked American defense and now the World Bank
Blankley: he should be fired we can't support this petty corruption even though i luv he big lug
Pat: i hate him he should be fired
Clift: amen
Blankely: u can't frame a guilty man in other words he should be fired
McLaughlin: yep
Predictions!!!
Pat Buchanan: Sarkozy wins
WSJ writer: Rupert will buy the Wall St. Journal
Clift: Tommy Thompson will drop out
McLaughlin: Imus will be back!
******************************************************************************
Meet The Press, May 6, 2007
Meet The Press, May 6, 2007
Russert: Slam-Dunk how are you this morning
Tenet: thats not my name
Tim: Should I call you Slammy?
Tenet: I prefer Mr. Dunk
Tim: ok Dunky Cheney sez Bush invaded Iraq because you told him to
Tenet: we believed Saddam had teh weapons and we were wrong - but Bush would have invaded anyway
Timmy: that may be true but you weren't the pizza delivery boy
Tenet: No that was Andy Card
Timmy: you were teh head of the CIA!
Tenet: dood Bush wasn't skeptical one minute and a believer the next you're being snowed yet again
Tim: Dunk-man why were you helping to market the war?
Tenet: i had to be there every step of the way to prevent the white house from lying and manipulating the intelligence the Powell speech the White House wrote was full of lies
Russert: Slammy, you thought the war was quote crazy - did you crazy like a "wow a crazy-good idea" or ‘crazy’ like “whoa dood this Bush guy is craaaaazy?”
Slam Dunk: i thought it was a bad idea but i didn't have strong feelings about it - if i had said anything i would been dwelling the realm of policy and what do i know - its not like i was the PR man for a baseball team
Russert: so 3,300 americans dead, middle east civil war, 100,000 iraqis dead, US national security in peril….
Tenet: i'm not a hero here
Tim: so Slammy, Cheney was going around lying
Tenet: well u should really read my book - but yeah that was my fault
Tim: But Dunk everyone was lying
Tenet: i'm not perfect
Tim: they said we know where the weapons are
Salmmy: i was very busy that week i was trying to lose weight and American Idol was having a good season
Russert: mushroom cloud?
Dunky: i thought Bush was ordering a pizza
Russert: r u an enabler
Tenet: well they aren't very able, so no
Timmy: u got everything wrong
Tenet: was everything right? no
Timmy: nice pink tie - message?
SlamDunk: im coming out
Tim: gay?
Slam: no just anti-Bush - its very cathartic
Timmster: British sez we fixed intelligence and lied about al-qaeda
Slam-Dunk: true but in our subconscious we didn't think that - that was only what I wrote in an official letter to Congress
Russert: Your report deceived the American people
TenetSlam: i didn't cook the books i would say rather we served the lies cold like that Klingon proverb
Tim: Blaming Saddam for 9/11
Tenet: hey i told Bush and Cheney that was crap what am i supposed to do - have them mouths taped shut
Tim: dood that would have helped
Slammy: i took the 16 words out of a Bush speech and they kept getting put back in
Tim: in Cinncinati
Slam: yeah
Tenet: it was my fault i never read or saw Bush's state of the union speech - i was the designated cabinet member to watch the 'Friends' finale that night
Rusert: where did the Niger thing come from?
Slam Dunk: i have no idea but it rhymes with Chick Deney
Tim: Colin Powell lied
Tenet: yeah i let him down
Russert: let me read preemptively from a letter sent to us from Richard Perle which we never usually do except for neocon nuts
Russert: dood i got the day wrong but Perle is still crazy
Timmeh: June of 2001 - Osama is about to attack
Tenet: yarp
Temeh: July of 2001 briefer sez ‘they're coming here’
Slam Dunk: it had no texture
Timmeh: words like "spectacular", ‘bin laden determined to attack’….
Dunk: yeah I remember that summer teh Yankess and Sox were in a tight race
Tim: u rode in Bush's pickup truck - did the subject of terror ever come up
Slammy: you can go back a look and say we could have done more really it's Bil Clinton's fault
Tim: But Bill Clinton stopped attacks
Slammy: see that's what i talking about he makes us all look bad by being so successful
Russert: Franks, Bremer, Tenet all got the medal of Medal of Freedom - that’s a trifecta of stupid
Slam: i will not give it back - i got it on behalf of other people
Russert: terrorists with nukes?
Salm: we should move heaven & earth
Russert: except for AQ Kahn
Slammy: Khaaaaaaaann!!!!!
Rusert: do u even know what day it is?
Dunk: Sept 12
Timmeh: dood we’re done
*********************************************************************************
Russert: Slam-Dunk how are you this morning
Tenet: thats not my name
Tim: Should I call you Slammy?
Tenet: I prefer Mr. Dunk
Tim: ok Dunky Cheney sez Bush invaded Iraq because you told him to
Tenet: we believed Saddam had teh weapons and we were wrong - but Bush would have invaded anyway
Timmy: that may be true but you weren't the pizza delivery boy
Tenet: No that was Andy Card
Timmy: you were teh head of the CIA!
Tenet: dood Bush wasn't skeptical one minute and a believer the next you're being snowed yet again
Tim: Dunk-man why were you helping to market the war?
Tenet: i had to be there every step of the way to prevent the white house from lying and manipulating the intelligence the Powell speech the White House wrote was full of lies
Russert: Slammy, you thought the war was quote crazy - did you crazy like a "wow a crazy-good idea" or ‘crazy’ like “whoa dood this Bush guy is craaaaazy?”
Slam Dunk: i thought it was a bad idea but i didn't have strong feelings about it - if i had said anything i would been dwelling the realm of policy and what do i know - its not like i was the PR man for a baseball team
Russert: so 3,300 americans dead, middle east civil war, 100,000 iraqis dead, US national security in peril….
Tenet: i'm not a hero here
Tim: so Slammy, Cheney was going around lying
Tenet: well u should really read my book - but yeah that was my fault
Tim: But Dunk everyone was lying
Tenet: i'm not perfect
Tim: they said we know where the weapons are
Salmmy: i was very busy that week i was trying to lose weight and American Idol was having a good season
Russert: mushroom cloud?
Dunky: i thought Bush was ordering a pizza
Russert: r u an enabler
Tenet: well they aren't very able, so no
Timmy: u got everything wrong
Tenet: was everything right? no
Timmy: nice pink tie - message?
SlamDunk: im coming out
Tim: gay?
Slam: no just anti-Bush - its very cathartic
Timmster: British sez we fixed intelligence and lied about al-qaeda
Slam-Dunk: true but in our subconscious we didn't think that - that was only what I wrote in an official letter to Congress
Russert: Your report deceived the American people
TenetSlam: i didn't cook the books i would say rather we served the lies cold like that Klingon proverb
Tim: Blaming Saddam for 9/11
Tenet: hey i told Bush and Cheney that was crap what am i supposed to do - have them mouths taped shut
Tim: dood that would have helped
Slammy: i took the 16 words out of a Bush speech and they kept getting put back in
Tim: in Cinncinati
Slam: yeah
Tenet: it was my fault i never read or saw Bush's state of the union speech - i was the designated cabinet member to watch the 'Friends' finale that night
Rusert: where did the Niger thing come from?
Slam Dunk: i have no idea but it rhymes with Chick Deney
Tim: Colin Powell lied
Tenet: yeah i let him down
Russert: let me read preemptively from a letter sent to us from Richard Perle which we never usually do except for neocon nuts
Russert: dood i got the day wrong but Perle is still crazy
Timmeh: June of 2001 - Osama is about to attack
Tenet: yarp
Temeh: July of 2001 briefer sez ‘they're coming here’
Slam Dunk: it had no texture
Timmeh: words like "spectacular", ‘bin laden determined to attack’….
Dunk: yeah I remember that summer teh Yankess and Sox were in a tight race
Tim: u rode in Bush's pickup truck - did the subject of terror ever come up
Slammy: you can go back a look and say we could have done more really it's Bil Clinton's fault
Tim: But Bill Clinton stopped attacks
Slammy: see that's what i talking about he makes us all look bad by being so successful
Russert: Franks, Bremer, Tenet all got the medal of Medal of Freedom - that’s a trifecta of stupid
Slam: i will not give it back - i got it on behalf of other people
Russert: terrorists with nukes?
Salm: we should move heaven & earth
Russert: except for AQ Kahn
Slammy: Khaaaaaaaann!!!!!
Rusert: do u even know what day it is?
Dunk: Sept 12
Timmeh: dood we’re done
*********************************************************************************
The Chris Matthews Show, May 6, 2007
The Chris Matthews Show, May 6, 2007
*******************************************************************************
Matthews: are teh GOP stuck
Borger: how do u ask for a 3d term when people hate u???
DuffMan: i still think GOP will do the right thing and get sensible on Iraq in six months
Parker, WaPo: on Labor Day they will see reality
Ignatius: let me continue the fantasy that McCain will change his mind in September
Borger: doods what is yur obsession with September
Ignatuius: the moon will be in teh 7th house
Matthews: is 100 dead too much
Ignatius: 50 dead in one day would be like Tet
Matthews: Iran war -- what's the tripwire can we stop yet another war in the middle east???
Parker: not unless Iran endorses the GOP in 2008
Matthews: but that probably won't happen
Panel: Mitt won the debate
Borger: he was best in show he had everything we want in a President -- he was glib
Parker: yes he was funny i liked it when he said Chris Matthews was full of crap
Matthews: i liked Rudy teh fascist but he didn't blow any trumpets i was bummed
Ignatius: Presidential candidates who believe adam and eve rode dinosaurs to church is very amusing heh heh
Panel: Fred Thompson Rocks!!
Matthews: whats up the with Internets and blogospheres
[shows mocking videos]
Matthews: whoa!
Matthews: why did Tenet not bring Osama info to Bush in August of 2001
Ignatius: dood in 2001 he was trying to bond with Bush he was walking on eggshells he hacked some brush in Texas but he still hadn't gotten a nickname
Borger: the administration cherry-picked
Matthews: they lied
Borger: he wasn't in teh "In Crowd" -- they would all party after school and they didn't invite Tenet - he was at home playing with his CIA toys
Matthews: thats sad
Duffy: then they hung him out to dry
Matthews: whoa mean girlz
************************************************************************************
*******************************************************************************
Matthews: are teh GOP stuck
Borger: how do u ask for a 3d term when people hate u???
DuffMan: i still think GOP will do the right thing and get sensible on Iraq in six months
Parker, WaPo: on Labor Day they will see reality
Ignatius: let me continue the fantasy that McCain will change his mind in September
Borger: doods what is yur obsession with September
Ignatuius: the moon will be in teh 7th house
Matthews: is 100 dead too much
Ignatius: 50 dead in one day would be like Tet
Matthews: Iran war -- what's the tripwire can we stop yet another war in the middle east???
Parker: not unless Iran endorses the GOP in 2008
Matthews: but that probably won't happen
Panel: Mitt won the debate
Borger: he was best in show he had everything we want in a President -- he was glib
Parker: yes he was funny i liked it when he said Chris Matthews was full of crap
Matthews: i liked Rudy teh fascist but he didn't blow any trumpets i was bummed
Ignatius: Presidential candidates who believe adam and eve rode dinosaurs to church is very amusing heh heh
Panel: Fred Thompson Rocks!!
Matthews: whats up the with Internets and blogospheres
[shows mocking videos]
Matthews: whoa!
Matthews: why did Tenet not bring Osama info to Bush in August of 2001
Ignatius: dood in 2001 he was trying to bond with Bush he was walking on eggshells he hacked some brush in Texas but he still hadn't gotten a nickname
Borger: the administration cherry-picked
Matthews: they lied
Borger: he wasn't in teh "In Crowd" -- they would all party after school and they didn't invite Tenet - he was at home playing with his CIA toys
Matthews: thats sad
Duffy: then they hung him out to dry
Matthews: whoa mean girlz
************************************************************************************
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Republican Debate - May 3, 2007
Republican Debate
MSNBC, Thursday, May 3
*** Not An Exact Transcript ***
Chris Matthews: hi im chris mathews ronald reagan had those great tv commericals with that guy from ernest & julio gallo wines Guiliani yur italian i'm sure you know them
Matthews: - Rudy how do make it mourning in america?
Rudy: I'm an optimist i dream we can live in a ferret-free america
McCain: my friends im hiding behind the troops - in Florida people cheer when we surrender thats bad
Matthews: ok
McCain: books have been written
Tommy Gun: first, we should plaster our cars with yellow magnets -- second we should give 1/3 of all children in Iraq a gallon of oil
Duncan Hunter: we should back out of Iraq slowly
Romney: we could have a tv set run the country, but what about commerical breaks - i mean get real ronald reagan was in the movies not tv
Moderator: thats true
Romney: iran and our friends could take our oil in Iraq away from us
Matthews: how do we win if there are so many kids who hate us who grow up to want to kill Americans
Brownback: i love moderate freedom-loving regimes like Egypt and Pakistan
Matthews: i like turkey
Brownback: who doesn't especially with gravy
Matthews: its delicious
Brownback: we have to engage Michael Jordan hes not weak
Huckabee: Bush is clearly a moron but why listen to gay man with a silk tie when you can hear a man with mud on face and blood on his feet its a big disgrace
Moderator: yur quoting Queen
Huckster: dood we will rock u
Gilmore Girl: we got distracted by that spot on Gorbachev's head in 1989 and forgot Reagan smuggled weapons to Osama bin Laden
Ron Paul: doods you are all crazy
McCain: [humming barbara ann] Iran is a totally great threat -- almost equal to Nancy Pelosi -- wait what was I saying oh right democracy and freedom and iraq i mean iraq..
Matthews: stop talking dood - what the Iran tripwire?
McCain: my greatest fear is Iran re-gifting a nuclear bomb
Matthews: yeah like on Seinfeld
McCain: he was jewish you know
Chris Matthews: speaking of jews Tancredo what's up
Tancredo: i luv Israel - 12th iman is ok but 13 is an unlucky number - a threat to israel is a threat to the United states
Matthews: dood you're weird
Rudy: teh Iranians looked into Reagan's eyes and panicked and returned teh hostages - they were afraid he would make another movie
Romney: teh Democrats are all hung up on Osama bin Laden - look this is an effort to bring down teh united states -- sure they start with boxcutters but they work their way up to knives and nunchucks dood
McCain: i will follow osama to teh gates of hell - i feel like i'm there right now
Matthews: foreign born yes or no
McCain: i dodge the question
Everyone else: no fucking way
Moderator: Rudy blacks yes or no
Rudy: look i treated whites just as bad as i treated blacks but you never hear about that
Tommy: i like the boy scout rule - we're stweards of teh earth and gay people are bad
Moderator: organ donations?
Tancredo: i hate disease but you're suggesting growing people in test tubes like frankenstein and no he was jewish you know
Paul: George Bush sux
Rudy: i will be the only one to speak for Roe v wade - that's pretty smart in a crowd of 10 dood
Tancredo: when a fetus can run for President it will be the greatest day in American history, second only to teh Little Big Horn
Romney: i want to apologize for being pro-life
Moderator: huh?
Romney: look dood when i realized massachusetts was cloning people i changed my mind
Brownback: I Love Jesus
Rudy: i hate abortion did you know my mother almost aborted me or so she told me last year
Matthews: i'm a cabdriver sum yourself up
McCain: this is about good vs. evil and i know all about that i'm old not senile dammitt blah blah blah
Matthews: damm stop talking
Tancredo: YARP!
Huckabee: Chris, you look very handsome tonight
Matthews: thanx
Huckabee: when a hiker gets a lost we find then a - muslim would pray to mecca that will never work
Paul: brown people don't pose a threat doods
Moderator: gays yes or no
Tompson: [stunned silence]
Matthews: Mitt - Speak to Catholics
Mitt: In "Battlefield Earth" they united to defeat a great enemy i hope to emulate that example
Huckabee: clearly Mitt belongs to a freak-ass religion
Mitt: dood
Huckabee: magic underwear, golden plates, u want me to go on
Mitt: no, point taken
Brownback: i once met Liberman - he's a jew i couldn't see his horns he must have long hair or something
Matthews: i'm a cabdriver - sum yourself up
McCain: this is about good vs. evil and i know all about that -- i'm old not senile dammitt blah blah blah
Matthews: damm stop talking
Tancredo: YARP!
Huckabee: Chris, you look very handsome tonight
Matthews: thanx
Huckabee: when a hiker gets a lost we find them - a muslim would pray to Mecca - that will never work
Paul: brown people don't pose a threat doods
Moderator: gays yes or no
Thompson: [stunned silence]
Matthews: Mitt - Speak to Catholics
Mitt: In "Battlefield Earth" they united to defeat a great enemy i hope to emulate that example
Huckabee: clearly Mitt belongs to a freak-ass religion
Mitt: dood
Huckabee: magic underwear, golden plates, u want me to go on
Mitt: no, point taken
Brownback: i once met Liberman a fucking jew i couldn't see his horns he must have long hair or something
Matthews: Rove yes or no
Gilmore: look karl rove is such a bad dancer that i wouldn't employ him
Matthews: you're all flailing
Tancredo: i used to like rove until i found out his great great grandfather was a dirty norweigan
Rudy: my father was italian
Tancredo: dirty wop!!
Rudy: one more word and i will have a plunger shoved up your ass
Tancredeo: im sorry
Matthews: Tommy why should we vote for u
Tommy: i have a blue tie
Moderator: Why is teh GOP so corrupt?
Brownback: dont forget teh one democrat with the $$ in his freezer
Moderator: ur reaching
Brownback: the reason Abramoff corrupted Congress is Don Imus, Rap Music and Abortion
Tancredo: im an extremist just like ronald reagan
Matthews: yeah but he was so handsome and ur ugly
Tancredo: ooh harsh dood
McCain: i knew a lot of drunken sailors - there was that one night I’d rather not talk about
Matthews: yur out of time but i'd love to hear teh end of that story
McCain: destroyer- i mean aircraft carrier - eh whatever
Moderator: Huck - if the Iraq War was a movie would give it an Oscar
Huckee: dood this is only teh middle of the movie if we had judged Titanic by that standard u would say it sucked
Moderator: it did suck
Huck: yeah but u had to wait til the end to find out
Rudy: i encouraged madonna and angelia jolie to adopt teh babies and abortion went down 50 percent
Moderator: racism yes or no
Thomson: i will stamp out racism and will take a business-oriented approach so i will put a jew in charge i wont welsh on it or gyp you
Moderator: dood
Thomspson: dont get your irish up otherwise or we wont have a chinaman's chance of succeeding
Moderator: women are teh fastest growing prisoners
Gilmore: i would leave this up to someone else -- i will take a lot naps as President like Reagan
Matthews: i'm having fun
Moderator: ur the only one
Mitt: nuclear transer is teh awesome
Matthews: no i said cloning
Mitt: dood Dr. Hobarts Method is the best
Brownback: Stem Cells it teh murder!
Panel: with all due respect to Nancy Reagan i luv little tiny embryos
McCain: i was a POW and i ate frozen embryos for a year to survive
Rudy: we paved the roads in New York City with frozen embryos was it wrong? i don't know but it worked
Mitt: My health care plan is Faaaaaaaaabulousss!!!!!
Moderator: but is it communist?
Mitt: no not HillaryCare - it's so darn exiiiiiiiting!
Brownback: I would like to kill someone behind a barn with a dull ax
Moderator: dood calm the fuck down
Gilmore: car tax bad!
Huckabee: i will get rid of the IRS and move to a consumption tax
Moderator: sure now that you've lost all that weight
Thompson: i'm excited about this race because i was Governor of Wisconsin and i would do anything to get the fuck out of there
McCain: flatter fairer tax
Paul: in my world the sky is a kind of crimson with a touch of mauve
Rudy: death tax -- when it goes to zero in 2011 we're going to have great incentive to kill your elderly relatives call it teh Anna Nicole phenomenon
Matthews: that baby is teh cute
Tancredo: what's wrong with killing relatives if they are hispanic
Moderator: name a good democrat
McCain: Lieberman
Moderator: i said Democrat not fascist
Moderator: evolution yes or no
McCain: no
Moderator: who else
Huckabee: adam and eve had a pet dinosaur like on the Flintstones
McCain: when i stand on the grand canyon i feel teh hand of god also flashbacks to Vietnam
Moderator: what's your greatest weakness
Rudy: i have no weaknesses
Brownback: he's eye-taaaalian
Huckabee: i hate greedy CEOs
Moderator: dood u r a Republican aren't u?
Paul: i trust the Internets - i luv freedom
Rudy: fences, id card, s rounding up immigrants, is cool and shit but why not just have teh brown people pay taxes
Mitt: yeah i agree -- foreigners were let in for teh Olympics but that went ok - they all went home
Paul: No ID cards!
Matthews: do you favor a law saying you have to be who you say you are
Tancredo: huh?
McCain & Rudy: only Aliens like ET would have to have an id card
Matthews: ok Alien what about Predator?
Brownback: my goodness what has this country come to when a white christian can't misremember now and then
Tancredo: i would make it legal for border guards to shoot people
Brownback: Terry was alive and in fact in better shape than Sen. Imhofe
McCain: in retrospect we blew it
Rudy: i would have put Terry Schiavo in Madame Tussauds and charged tickets
Matthews: Should we just have Bill Clinton back?
Brownback: Hillary killed Vince Foster
Gilmore: she’s a socialist
Huckabee: i had sex with Hillary
Tommy Thompson: i'm teh cleanup hitter
McCain: look at me i kind of sort of pro-life
Rudy: 9/11 is Hillary's fault -- none of the Dems said the word Islamic
Moderator: Sum up!
Hunter: teh chineeeseee!
Tancredo: Ben Franklin said...
Matthews: shut teh fuck up
Thompson: educational diplomacy
Rudy: 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11
*******************************************************************************
MSNBC, Thursday, May 3
*** Not An Exact Transcript ***
Chris Matthews: hi im chris mathews ronald reagan had those great tv commericals with that guy from ernest & julio gallo wines Guiliani yur italian i'm sure you know them
Matthews: - Rudy how do make it mourning in america?
Rudy: I'm an optimist i dream we can live in a ferret-free america
McCain: my friends im hiding behind the troops - in Florida people cheer when we surrender thats bad
Matthews: ok
McCain: books have been written
Tommy Gun: first, we should plaster our cars with yellow magnets -- second we should give 1/3 of all children in Iraq a gallon of oil
Duncan Hunter: we should back out of Iraq slowly
Romney: we could have a tv set run the country, but what about commerical breaks - i mean get real ronald reagan was in the movies not tv
Moderator: thats true
Romney: iran and our friends could take our oil in Iraq away from us
Matthews: how do we win if there are so many kids who hate us who grow up to want to kill Americans
Brownback: i love moderate freedom-loving regimes like Egypt and Pakistan
Matthews: i like turkey
Brownback: who doesn't especially with gravy
Matthews: its delicious
Brownback: we have to engage Michael Jordan hes not weak
Huckabee: Bush is clearly a moron but why listen to gay man with a silk tie when you can hear a man with mud on face and blood on his feet its a big disgrace
Moderator: yur quoting Queen
Huckster: dood we will rock u
Gilmore Girl: we got distracted by that spot on Gorbachev's head in 1989 and forgot Reagan smuggled weapons to Osama bin Laden
Ron Paul: doods you are all crazy
McCain: [humming barbara ann] Iran is a totally great threat -- almost equal to Nancy Pelosi -- wait what was I saying oh right democracy and freedom and iraq i mean iraq..
Matthews: stop talking dood - what the Iran tripwire?
McCain: my greatest fear is Iran re-gifting a nuclear bomb
Matthews: yeah like on Seinfeld
McCain: he was jewish you know
Chris Matthews: speaking of jews Tancredo what's up
Tancredo: i luv Israel - 12th iman is ok but 13 is an unlucky number - a threat to israel is a threat to the United states
Matthews: dood you're weird
Rudy: teh Iranians looked into Reagan's eyes and panicked and returned teh hostages - they were afraid he would make another movie
Romney: teh Democrats are all hung up on Osama bin Laden - look this is an effort to bring down teh united states -- sure they start with boxcutters but they work their way up to knives and nunchucks dood
McCain: i will follow osama to teh gates of hell - i feel like i'm there right now
Matthews: foreign born yes or no
McCain: i dodge the question
Everyone else: no fucking way
Moderator: Rudy blacks yes or no
Rudy: look i treated whites just as bad as i treated blacks but you never hear about that
Tommy: i like the boy scout rule - we're stweards of teh earth and gay people are bad
Moderator: organ donations?
Tancredo: i hate disease but you're suggesting growing people in test tubes like frankenstein and no he was jewish you know
Paul: George Bush sux
Rudy: i will be the only one to speak for Roe v wade - that's pretty smart in a crowd of 10 dood
Tancredo: when a fetus can run for President it will be the greatest day in American history, second only to teh Little Big Horn
Romney: i want to apologize for being pro-life
Moderator: huh?
Romney: look dood when i realized massachusetts was cloning people i changed my mind
Brownback: I Love Jesus
Rudy: i hate abortion did you know my mother almost aborted me or so she told me last year
Matthews: i'm a cabdriver sum yourself up
McCain: this is about good vs. evil and i know all about that i'm old not senile dammitt blah blah blah
Matthews: damm stop talking
Tancredo: YARP!
Huckabee: Chris, you look very handsome tonight
Matthews: thanx
Huckabee: when a hiker gets a lost we find then a - muslim would pray to mecca that will never work
Paul: brown people don't pose a threat doods
Moderator: gays yes or no
Tompson: [stunned silence]
Matthews: Mitt - Speak to Catholics
Mitt: In "Battlefield Earth" they united to defeat a great enemy i hope to emulate that example
Huckabee: clearly Mitt belongs to a freak-ass religion
Mitt: dood
Huckabee: magic underwear, golden plates, u want me to go on
Mitt: no, point taken
Brownback: i once met Liberman - he's a jew i couldn't see his horns he must have long hair or something
Matthews: i'm a cabdriver - sum yourself up
McCain: this is about good vs. evil and i know all about that -- i'm old not senile dammitt blah blah blah
Matthews: damm stop talking
Tancredo: YARP!
Huckabee: Chris, you look very handsome tonight
Matthews: thanx
Huckabee: when a hiker gets a lost we find them - a muslim would pray to Mecca - that will never work
Paul: brown people don't pose a threat doods
Moderator: gays yes or no
Thompson: [stunned silence]
Matthews: Mitt - Speak to Catholics
Mitt: In "Battlefield Earth" they united to defeat a great enemy i hope to emulate that example
Huckabee: clearly Mitt belongs to a freak-ass religion
Mitt: dood
Huckabee: magic underwear, golden plates, u want me to go on
Mitt: no, point taken
Brownback: i once met Liberman a fucking jew i couldn't see his horns he must have long hair or something
Matthews: Rove yes or no
Gilmore: look karl rove is such a bad dancer that i wouldn't employ him
Matthews: you're all flailing
Tancredo: i used to like rove until i found out his great great grandfather was a dirty norweigan
Rudy: my father was italian
Tancredo: dirty wop!!
Rudy: one more word and i will have a plunger shoved up your ass
Tancredeo: im sorry
Matthews: Tommy why should we vote for u
Tommy: i have a blue tie
Moderator: Why is teh GOP so corrupt?
Brownback: dont forget teh one democrat with the $$ in his freezer
Moderator: ur reaching
Brownback: the reason Abramoff corrupted Congress is Don Imus, Rap Music and Abortion
Tancredo: im an extremist just like ronald reagan
Matthews: yeah but he was so handsome and ur ugly
Tancredo: ooh harsh dood
McCain: i knew a lot of drunken sailors - there was that one night I’d rather not talk about
Matthews: yur out of time but i'd love to hear teh end of that story
McCain: destroyer- i mean aircraft carrier - eh whatever
Moderator: Huck - if the Iraq War was a movie would give it an Oscar
Huckee: dood this is only teh middle of the movie if we had judged Titanic by that standard u would say it sucked
Moderator: it did suck
Huck: yeah but u had to wait til the end to find out
Rudy: i encouraged madonna and angelia jolie to adopt teh babies and abortion went down 50 percent
Moderator: racism yes or no
Thomson: i will stamp out racism and will take a business-oriented approach so i will put a jew in charge i wont welsh on it or gyp you
Moderator: dood
Thomspson: dont get your irish up otherwise or we wont have a chinaman's chance of succeeding
Moderator: women are teh fastest growing prisoners
Gilmore: i would leave this up to someone else -- i will take a lot naps as President like Reagan
Matthews: i'm having fun
Moderator: ur the only one
Mitt: nuclear transer is teh awesome
Matthews: no i said cloning
Mitt: dood Dr. Hobarts Method is the best
Brownback: Stem Cells it teh murder!
Panel: with all due respect to Nancy Reagan i luv little tiny embryos
McCain: i was a POW and i ate frozen embryos for a year to survive
Rudy: we paved the roads in New York City with frozen embryos was it wrong? i don't know but it worked
Mitt: My health care plan is Faaaaaaaaabulousss!!!!!
Moderator: but is it communist?
Mitt: no not HillaryCare - it's so darn exiiiiiiiting!
Brownback: I would like to kill someone behind a barn with a dull ax
Moderator: dood calm the fuck down
Gilmore: car tax bad!
Huckabee: i will get rid of the IRS and move to a consumption tax
Moderator: sure now that you've lost all that weight
Thompson: i'm excited about this race because i was Governor of Wisconsin and i would do anything to get the fuck out of there
McCain: flatter fairer tax
Paul: in my world the sky is a kind of crimson with a touch of mauve
Rudy: death tax -- when it goes to zero in 2011 we're going to have great incentive to kill your elderly relatives call it teh Anna Nicole phenomenon
Matthews: that baby is teh cute
Tancredo: what's wrong with killing relatives if they are hispanic
Moderator: name a good democrat
McCain: Lieberman
Moderator: i said Democrat not fascist
Moderator: evolution yes or no
McCain: no
Moderator: who else
Huckabee: adam and eve had a pet dinosaur like on the Flintstones
McCain: when i stand on the grand canyon i feel teh hand of god also flashbacks to Vietnam
Moderator: what's your greatest weakness
Rudy: i have no weaknesses
Brownback: he's eye-taaaalian
Huckabee: i hate greedy CEOs
Moderator: dood u r a Republican aren't u?
Paul: i trust the Internets - i luv freedom
Rudy: fences, id card, s rounding up immigrants, is cool and shit but why not just have teh brown people pay taxes
Mitt: yeah i agree -- foreigners were let in for teh Olympics but that went ok - they all went home
Paul: No ID cards!
Matthews: do you favor a law saying you have to be who you say you are
Tancredo: huh?
McCain & Rudy: only Aliens like ET would have to have an id card
Matthews: ok Alien what about Predator?
Brownback: my goodness what has this country come to when a white christian can't misremember now and then
Tancredo: i would make it legal for border guards to shoot people
Brownback: Terry was alive and in fact in better shape than Sen. Imhofe
McCain: in retrospect we blew it
Rudy: i would have put Terry Schiavo in Madame Tussauds and charged tickets
Matthews: Should we just have Bill Clinton back?
Brownback: Hillary killed Vince Foster
Gilmore: she’s a socialist
Huckabee: i had sex with Hillary
Tommy Thompson: i'm teh cleanup hitter
McCain: look at me i kind of sort of pro-life
Rudy: 9/11 is Hillary's fault -- none of the Dems said the word Islamic
Moderator: Sum up!
Hunter: teh chineeeseee!
Tancredo: Ben Franklin said...
Matthews: shut teh fuck up
Thompson: educational diplomacy
Rudy: 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11
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Sunday, April 29, 2007
The Democratic Debate April 26, 2007
Democratic Debate, Thursday April 26, 2007
*****************************************************************************
Brian Williams: Let’s talk about the Supreme Court
Biden: I fought to defeat that bearded weirdo Bork. And Alito. And that black guy, what's his name.
Obama: Thomas
Biden: Right. The clean one.
Kucinich: I want to be a healer. pre- natal care, post-natal care, and natal care. i will establish a department of healing.
Brian Williams: okaaay
Dodds: i'm very disappointed in the decision i made in voting for Roberts - i will be furrowing my brows a lot when I’m president.
Brian Williams: why are they black when you’re hair is white
Dodd: dood back off - just cause you’re hair is perfect
Williams: name someone alive, not named whizzer
Dodd: Bader Ginsburg rocks
Williams: Hillary Virginia Tech did we leave anyone behind?
Hillary: dood i was at Columbine and we tried to keep guns out of the hands of crazy people like Charlton Heston
Richardson: The 2nd amendment - - it is Precioussssssss
Williams: Show of hands, how many of you have shot someone?
one, two.. three...ok...
Biden: it was a guy at a 7-11..... My wife knows a lot of crazy people after all she married me
Edwards: i would raise taxes on teh mentally ill and gun owners. Speaking of guns and taxes let me talk about my health care plan
Obama: Speaking of health care I would form a big pool and you could dive in if you wanted - only if you’re buoyant
Hillary: you all have good ideas but doods i have been there and oh everyone liked may plan at first and i got fucking killed. Not ready to endorse some new crazy system lets cut costs
Richardson: I’m running as a Republican and gun nut -- my health plan is for every American to share a kidney with someone else -- i mean you only need one right -- am i right people??
Williams: race, good or bad?
Biden: i like black people
Obama: Confederate flag should be in a museum next to archie bunker’s chair
Moderator: heh, i liked that Lionel
Paula Abdul: what’s your biggest mistake ever?
Gravel: Let me rehash Ronald Reagan's stoopid line - there goes my campaign
Hillary: where do i start -- probably killing vince foster to cover up my lesbiansism
Obama: chickening out on terry schiavo
Biden: underestimating Bush stoopidity and evilness (good answer!)
Edwards & Dodd: IRAQ
Richardson: I killed a man in reno
Moderator: To watch him die?
Bill: No - he voted against my minimum wage bill
Q: How do you defeat India and China
Biden: pepto bismol
Public question: medical insurance is too expensive
Kucinich: i live a tiny bachelor pad with my cat so i hear you
Brian Williams: First goal of Day One?
Bill: first Iraq, then Apollo, then i would have sex with my wife in teh Oval Office, baby
Williams: Name three countries not named ‘iraq’ -- be careful Bush got tripped up here in 2000
Obama: Italy for its wine and art, Afghanistan for it's Osama-ness and China for their kick ass take-out
Williams: WRONG! You forgot Israel - i told you this one was hard
Obama: Israel blah blah blah
Willaims: that’s better
Biden: Russia cause they are run by a loony despot wannabe with access to nukes
Williams: well, so is the USA
Gravel: wait, did you say "enemies" cause you're changing the rules you fucking dittohead
Edwards: primary school education should be available in Africa
Williams: Governor Richardson you lost four nominations for the Nobel Prize you're like the Susan Lucci of Peace
Richardson: yeah but dood she finally won
Hillary: oh fuck Rudy - i'm from New York his cheap fearmongering won't work in a city where Bush is less popular that a sewer rat
Williams: Question, why do I always say Democrats won't protect America
Dodd: ‘cause you're too busy listening to Rush Limbaugh to take your head out of your ass
Williams: could be - Dennis K why do you hate America?
Williams: Lets play "24" - pretend that 10 american cities were bombed by balsa wood drones which country would you invade?
Obama: i would provide first-aid to the victims stoopid -- how could i know how to react without more information
Edwards: i would find out which of Bush's mistakes were responsible
Hillary: i was in NYC on 9/11 but i wasn't wandering around looking for the remains of my bunker - and no Brian, unlike your buddy Rush Limbaugh i wouldn't overreact
Brian: impeach yes or no?
Dennis: yes! Bush lied to take us to war -- but we'll with something obvious, dick cheney and work our way up to Chimpy
Williams: ok ok you're entertaining but i grow tired of you now
Dodd: i have 9 month old baby but i already suspect she's a lesbian she wears a lot of flannel
Biden: Don't be alarmed - i'm smiling it just looks like i'm passing a kidney stone
Williams: jeebus, if you're ever president i will move to Cuba
Richardson: If america were attacked i would get Keifer Sutherland on teh phone and surgically strike Luxembourg
Brian: cuba libre or no?
Richardson: watch me completely dodge this question
Willaims: Gravel, is nuclear teh answer to global warming?
Gravel: no when i was young we didn't need nukes we wore an onion on our belts and we'd say give me five bees for a dollar
Obama: i planted 3,000 trees
Williams: i meant light bulbs - jeez take a hint
Obama: i would bomb a country - maybe Ohio
Kucinich: hey some people like Ohio
Obama: sure they do
Williams: do you love Jesus
Edwards: eh, I guess so
Brain: Walmart good or evil - yes or no -- heh trick question cause you were on the board of directors
Hillary: fuck off
Williams: why do you guys suck so much?
Biden: i like Hillary -- and Gravel and Dennis go away with your happy talk -- there's real life -- dammit life sucks - you work hard, you get accused of plagiarism, you lose your your hair, your run for president and then you die.
*********************************************************************************
*****************************************************************************
Brian Williams: Let’s talk about the Supreme Court
Biden: I fought to defeat that bearded weirdo Bork. And Alito. And that black guy, what's his name.
Obama: Thomas
Biden: Right. The clean one.
Kucinich: I want to be a healer. pre- natal care, post-natal care, and natal care. i will establish a department of healing.
Brian Williams: okaaay
Dodds: i'm very disappointed in the decision i made in voting for Roberts - i will be furrowing my brows a lot when I’m president.
Brian Williams: why are they black when you’re hair is white
Dodd: dood back off - just cause you’re hair is perfect
Williams: name someone alive, not named whizzer
Dodd: Bader Ginsburg rocks
Williams: Hillary Virginia Tech did we leave anyone behind?
Hillary: dood i was at Columbine and we tried to keep guns out of the hands of crazy people like Charlton Heston
Richardson: The 2nd amendment - - it is Precioussssssss
Williams: Show of hands, how many of you have shot someone?
one, two.. three...ok...
Biden: it was a guy at a 7-11..... My wife knows a lot of crazy people after all she married me
Edwards: i would raise taxes on teh mentally ill and gun owners. Speaking of guns and taxes let me talk about my health care plan
Obama: Speaking of health care I would form a big pool and you could dive in if you wanted - only if you’re buoyant
Hillary: you all have good ideas but doods i have been there and oh everyone liked may plan at first and i got fucking killed. Not ready to endorse some new crazy system lets cut costs
Richardson: I’m running as a Republican and gun nut -- my health plan is for every American to share a kidney with someone else -- i mean you only need one right -- am i right people??
Williams: race, good or bad?
Biden: i like black people
Obama: Confederate flag should be in a museum next to archie bunker’s chair
Moderator: heh, i liked that Lionel
Paula Abdul: what’s your biggest mistake ever?
Gravel: Let me rehash Ronald Reagan's stoopid line - there goes my campaign
Hillary: where do i start -- probably killing vince foster to cover up my lesbiansism
Obama: chickening out on terry schiavo
Biden: underestimating Bush stoopidity and evilness (good answer!)
Edwards & Dodd: IRAQ
Richardson: I killed a man in reno
Moderator: To watch him die?
Bill: No - he voted against my minimum wage bill
Q: How do you defeat India and China
Biden: pepto bismol
Public question: medical insurance is too expensive
Kucinich: i live a tiny bachelor pad with my cat so i hear you
Brian Williams: First goal of Day One?
Bill: first Iraq, then Apollo, then i would have sex with my wife in teh Oval Office, baby
Williams: Name three countries not named ‘iraq’ -- be careful Bush got tripped up here in 2000
Obama: Italy for its wine and art, Afghanistan for it's Osama-ness and China for their kick ass take-out
Williams: WRONG! You forgot Israel - i told you this one was hard
Obama: Israel blah blah blah
Willaims: that’s better
Biden: Russia cause they are run by a loony despot wannabe with access to nukes
Williams: well, so is the USA
Gravel: wait, did you say "enemies" cause you're changing the rules you fucking dittohead
Edwards: primary school education should be available in Africa
Williams: Governor Richardson you lost four nominations for the Nobel Prize you're like the Susan Lucci of Peace
Richardson: yeah but dood she finally won
Hillary: oh fuck Rudy - i'm from New York his cheap fearmongering won't work in a city where Bush is less popular that a sewer rat
Williams: Question, why do I always say Democrats won't protect America
Dodd: ‘cause you're too busy listening to Rush Limbaugh to take your head out of your ass
Williams: could be - Dennis K why do you hate America?
Williams: Lets play "24" - pretend that 10 american cities were bombed by balsa wood drones which country would you invade?
Obama: i would provide first-aid to the victims stoopid -- how could i know how to react without more information
Edwards: i would find out which of Bush's mistakes were responsible
Hillary: i was in NYC on 9/11 but i wasn't wandering around looking for the remains of my bunker - and no Brian, unlike your buddy Rush Limbaugh i wouldn't overreact
Brian: impeach yes or no?
Dennis: yes! Bush lied to take us to war -- but we'll with something obvious, dick cheney and work our way up to Chimpy
Williams: ok ok you're entertaining but i grow tired of you now
Dodd: i have 9 month old baby but i already suspect she's a lesbian she wears a lot of flannel
Biden: Don't be alarmed - i'm smiling it just looks like i'm passing a kidney stone
Williams: jeebus, if you're ever president i will move to Cuba
Richardson: If america were attacked i would get Keifer Sutherland on teh phone and surgically strike Luxembourg
Brian: cuba libre or no?
Richardson: watch me completely dodge this question
Willaims: Gravel, is nuclear teh answer to global warming?
Gravel: no when i was young we didn't need nukes we wore an onion on our belts and we'd say give me five bees for a dollar
Obama: i planted 3,000 trees
Williams: i meant light bulbs - jeez take a hint
Obama: i would bomb a country - maybe Ohio
Kucinich: hey some people like Ohio
Obama: sure they do
Williams: do you love Jesus
Edwards: eh, I guess so
Brain: Walmart good or evil - yes or no -- heh trick question cause you were on the board of directors
Hillary: fuck off
Williams: why do you guys suck so much?
Biden: i like Hillary -- and Gravel and Dennis go away with your happy talk -- there's real life -- dammit life sucks - you work hard, you get accused of plagiarism, you lose your your hair, your run for president and then you die.
*********************************************************************************
The Chris Matthews Show - - April 22, 2007
The Chris Matthews Show - April 22, 2007
Matthews: Alienated young men - what's up with that
Fineman: Bureaucracy to blame - why, when i was a kid we had loco parents
David Brooks: We used to use logic like good v. evil and god v. satan - now because we chucked out god, it seems like we're living an absurd universe and what i'm saying on your show is proof of it
Katty Kay: dood you're deeply weird, it's called mental illness
Matthews: dood was crazy and not only was not cast off campus - he was offered a show on NBC
Kelly: yeah its a pattern
Katty: on or off campus he would have killed anyway
Matthews: these kids today are used to foreigners - it's wild
Fineman: I blame federal gun laws
Matthews: i was lonely and strange when i was young but i only murdered the english language
Katty: there's no place for average people in teh usa -- i mean if you're below average you can work for Bush
Fineman: this would never have happened when we young -- kids today have too much freedom
Bobo: he was a suicide bomber
Matthews: whats up with all the suicides at NYU
Bobo: what's up is that your full of shit
Matthews: more federal laws yes or no?
Fineman: the burden is always on democrats to solve america's problems created by Republicans and if they don't they are teh suck
Matthews: well, of course
Fineman: so mentally ill can buy an AK-47
Matthews: so i assume the democrats will pay a price
Katty: the whole world thinks you Americans all crazy when it comes to guns
Fineman: yeah but that's because you're all Eurowimps who won't kick ass in Iraq
Katty: oh yeah, that's really it
[rolls eyes]
Bobo: All Republicans and all Democrats are offended by the late term abortion procedure
Matthews: I fear my chromosomal abnormality will be detected then all the little Tweetys will be aborted
Bobo: its proven that fetuses are dreaming of electric pundits
Norah: Rudy only supported abortion because he was dating his cousin
Fineman: this is the first decision by the court that says the fetus is a person and has the right to vote if its white
Bobo: In her press releases Hillary never uses the words fetus or blowjob
Matthews: my baby beat me up
Tell me something I don't know!
Katty: hat trick of incomptence will resign - Gonzalez, Wolfie and Bliar
Fineman: Barack will turn to Colin Powell for advice - between them they're almost black
O'Donnell: Bush will hire an implementation manager to run America - so young Regents grads be sure to send in your resume
David Brooks: New AG will be either Ted Olson or Orrin Hatch -- between them they're almost sane
*****************************************************************************************
Matthews: Alienated young men - what's up with that
Fineman: Bureaucracy to blame - why, when i was a kid we had loco parents
David Brooks: We used to use logic like good v. evil and god v. satan - now because we chucked out god, it seems like we're living an absurd universe and what i'm saying on your show is proof of it
Katty Kay: dood you're deeply weird, it's called mental illness
Matthews: dood was crazy and not only was not cast off campus - he was offered a show on NBC
Kelly: yeah its a pattern
Katty: on or off campus he would have killed anyway
Matthews: these kids today are used to foreigners - it's wild
Fineman: I blame federal gun laws
Matthews: i was lonely and strange when i was young but i only murdered the english language
Katty: there's no place for average people in teh usa -- i mean if you're below average you can work for Bush
Fineman: this would never have happened when we young -- kids today have too much freedom
Bobo: he was a suicide bomber
Matthews: whats up with all the suicides at NYU
Bobo: what's up is that your full of shit
Matthews: more federal laws yes or no?
Fineman: the burden is always on democrats to solve america's problems created by Republicans and if they don't they are teh suck
Matthews: well, of course
Fineman: so mentally ill can buy an AK-47
Matthews: so i assume the democrats will pay a price
Katty: the whole world thinks you Americans all crazy when it comes to guns
Fineman: yeah but that's because you're all Eurowimps who won't kick ass in Iraq
Katty: oh yeah, that's really it
[rolls eyes]
Bobo: All Republicans and all Democrats are offended by the late term abortion procedure
Matthews: I fear my chromosomal abnormality will be detected then all the little Tweetys will be aborted
Bobo: its proven that fetuses are dreaming of electric pundits
Norah: Rudy only supported abortion because he was dating his cousin
Fineman: this is the first decision by the court that says the fetus is a person and has the right to vote if its white
Bobo: In her press releases Hillary never uses the words fetus or blowjob
Matthews: my baby beat me up
Tell me something I don't know!
Katty: hat trick of incomptence will resign - Gonzalez, Wolfie and Bliar
Fineman: Barack will turn to Colin Powell for advice - between them they're almost black
O'Donnell: Bush will hire an implementation manager to run America - so young Regents grads be sure to send in your resume
David Brooks: New AG will be either Ted Olson or Orrin Hatch -- between them they're almost sane
*****************************************************************************************
This Week on ABC - April 22, 2007
ABC This Week - April 22, 2007
Sam Donaldson: Newt Gingrich has called for a more civilized society -- yes, i said that with a staight face
George Will: Hard for me to believe a copycat would act based just on this video
Donaldson: I knew lee harvey oswald and this kid was no lee harvey Oswald
Stephanopolous: Begun the abotion wars have
George Will: Abortion decision is no big deal its a synthetic fundraising issue no abotions will not be prevented
Donaldson: So then why uphold law?
Will: Uh, because that's what courts do, dood
Cokie: Very foolish for pro-choicers to make this fight it's so icky and girlsy
Step: They didn't choose this fight
Cokie: Yeah but it's exactly the same as cop-killer bullets
Donaldson: Banning a medical procedure is not good -- what if hair plugs are next?
Cokie: Justice Kennedy's paternalism offends me
George Will: I had an affair with Roberta Flack and she snapped my skinny white ass like a wishbone
***********************************************************************************
Sam Donaldson: Newt Gingrich has called for a more civilized society -- yes, i said that with a staight face
George Will: Hard for me to believe a copycat would act based just on this video
Donaldson: I knew lee harvey oswald and this kid was no lee harvey Oswald
Stephanopolous: Begun the abotion wars have
George Will: Abortion decision is no big deal its a synthetic fundraising issue no abotions will not be prevented
Donaldson: So then why uphold law?
Will: Uh, because that's what courts do, dood
Cokie: Very foolish for pro-choicers to make this fight it's so icky and girlsy
Step: They didn't choose this fight
Cokie: Yeah but it's exactly the same as cop-killer bullets
Donaldson: Banning a medical procedure is not good -- what if hair plugs are next?
Cokie: Justice Kennedy's paternalism offends me
George Will: I had an affair with Roberta Flack and she snapped my skinny white ass like a wishbone
***********************************************************************************
McLaughlin - April 22, 2007
McLaughlin April 22, 2007
Topic: VT Shooting
Pat Buchanan: MSNBC should never have shown the shooter's video that's why he killed -- as a protest I will only appear on the network every hour instead of every 10 minutes
Clift: He was basicaly an American and therefore a young trouble dood with easy asscess to weapons of mass destrction
Blankely: Lest you think i am only pompous asshole i too was touched by this i could hardly finish my third serving of eggs benedict that morning
McLaughlin: teens are killed in Iraq all the time but Virginia has an ocean protecting it
Larry O'Donnell: Largest gun murder in the history of this country and the WMDs he had were illegal when bill clinton was President
Pat Buchanan: There were alot of killings in teh Civil War!! If only a rent-a-cop had had a machine gun!!!
Larry: dood you're fucking crazy
Pat: Guns! Kill! Kill!
John: ban guns from college campuses?
Clift: Dems won't act because the americans loves them some guns
Blankley: he could've set fire to the dorm thank god theres a right to keep and bear incendiaries
Larry: Harvard locks the riffraff out
Clift: then what was Bush doing there?
Blankely: we used to lock people up who were mentally insane but hadn't committed crimes now thanks to damm liberals we're forced to elect them to Congress
Pat: if we had concentration camps this would never have happened
McL: airport security on college campus?
Buchanan: no, round up the trouble makers
Blankely: we have to pay the price for freedom which is the occasional maniac killing people
O'Donnell: he could never have done this with a knife or a spoon or fork -- maybe a spork
Buchanan: Virginia has the toughest gun laws in the world
Clift: What The Fuck did you just say???
Buchanan: Ok look it comes down to this -- if blacks have guns i want whites to have even more
John McLaughin: I'm sick of other countries looking down on us for the VT massacre this kid was a foreigner, the 9/11 killers were foreigners, aren't foreigners to blame!!!??
Pat Buchanan: Jesus even I can't follow that logic
Clift: shit you are nuts
Blankely: no that stupid -- but i'm sick of British people coming to the USA and bitching about America
O'Donnell: we are awash in gun violence teh Aussies and Koreans are right to pity us
***********************************************************************************
Topic: VT Shooting
Pat Buchanan: MSNBC should never have shown the shooter's video that's why he killed -- as a protest I will only appear on the network every hour instead of every 10 minutes
Clift: He was basicaly an American and therefore a young trouble dood with easy asscess to weapons of mass destrction
Blankely: Lest you think i am only pompous asshole i too was touched by this i could hardly finish my third serving of eggs benedict that morning
McLaughlin: teens are killed in Iraq all the time but Virginia has an ocean protecting it
Larry O'Donnell: Largest gun murder in the history of this country and the WMDs he had were illegal when bill clinton was President
Pat Buchanan: There were alot of killings in teh Civil War!! If only a rent-a-cop had had a machine gun!!!
Larry: dood you're fucking crazy
Pat: Guns! Kill! Kill!
John: ban guns from college campuses?
Clift: Dems won't act because the americans loves them some guns
Blankley: he could've set fire to the dorm thank god theres a right to keep and bear incendiaries
Larry: Harvard locks the riffraff out
Clift: then what was Bush doing there?
Blankely: we used to lock people up who were mentally insane but hadn't committed crimes now thanks to damm liberals we're forced to elect them to Congress
Pat: if we had concentration camps this would never have happened
McL: airport security on college campus?
Buchanan: no, round up the trouble makers
Blankely: we have to pay the price for freedom which is the occasional maniac killing people
O'Donnell: he could never have done this with a knife or a spoon or fork -- maybe a spork
Buchanan: Virginia has the toughest gun laws in the world
Clift: What The Fuck did you just say???
Buchanan: Ok look it comes down to this -- if blacks have guns i want whites to have even more
John McLaughin: I'm sick of other countries looking down on us for the VT massacre this kid was a foreigner, the 9/11 killers were foreigners, aren't foreigners to blame!!!??
Pat Buchanan: Jesus even I can't follow that logic
Clift: shit you are nuts
Blankely: no that stupid -- but i'm sick of British people coming to the USA and bitching about America
O'Donnell: we are awash in gun violence teh Aussies and Koreans are right to pity us
***********************************************************************************
Friday, April 06, 2007
Hardball - Wednesday, April 4
Tweety: why bother showing up for work when you know Bush won't bend or break?
Eijah: dood we speak for the people not Captain Pissypants
Tweety: yeah but they don't play hail to the chief when you walk in the room who blink first
Elijah: not us
Tweety: how can you possibly defend doing when James Baker and Lee Hamilton and crazy people like that recommend?
Elijah: honestly Bush has lost his mind
Tweety: bad behavior being rewarded is Assad into S&M?
Elijah: not at all
Tweety: too bad i could've hooked him up
Tweety: scary college students attacking Karl Rove look a me smirking
O'Beirne: Actually he's great company but seriously i'm very concerned that this will hurt the LEFT
Carlson: those students aren't at risk but for god's sake how do you protest a man who lives in a bunker
O'Beirne: oh no that's a phallacy Bush knows the election results and he's a liberal now
Tweety: oh bullshit
O'Beirne: ok how about this they send him everything he wants that's a good compromise
Tweety: How about a re-authorization?
OBeirne: Why should teh Emperor give in his horse is an excellent Senator!
Eijah: dood we speak for the people not Captain Pissypants
Tweety: yeah but they don't play hail to the chief when you walk in the room who blink first
Elijah: not us
Tweety: how can you possibly defend doing when James Baker and Lee Hamilton and crazy people like that recommend?
Elijah: honestly Bush has lost his mind
Tweety: bad behavior being rewarded is Assad into S&M?
Elijah: not at all
Tweety: too bad i could've hooked him up
Blackburn: i think we should support the President and others of his kind. If you disagree, you become a subversive motherTweety: scary college students attacking Karl Rove look a me smirking
O'Beirne: Actually he's great company but seriously i'm very concerned that this will hurt the LEFT
Carlson: those students aren't at risk but for god's sake how do you protest a man who lives in a bunker
O'Beirne: oh no that's a phallacy Bush knows the election results and he's a liberal now
Tweety: oh bullshit
O'Beirne: ok how about this they send him everything he wants that's a good compromise
Tweety: How about a re-authorization?
OBeirne: Why should teh Emperor give in his horse is an excellent Senator!
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Meet The Press - April 1, 2007
Timmeh: Alberto apparently a really big liar what's up with that
Kylie: yeah of course he was in those discussions
Leahy: back in Vermont would call this guy Alberto Gonzalez un menteur pathologique vermont is french for green mountain men you know
Russert: no shit
Leahy: oui c'est vrai
Timmeh: Hey Hatch this looks bad right
Orrin: Excuse me i these lies are catching in my thoat
Tim: here have a truth-lozenge
Hatch: his lies are of a general nature and not specific
Timmy: Sen. Mark Pryor lied to me and you and the whole world
Hatch: oh no no no - Griffin was highly qualified
[Leahy's head explodes]
Timmeh: Senator your head just exploded and i'm wearing a new suit
Leahy: sorry about that
Tim: its ok
Leahy: the mountains of e-mails and documents and statements all prove they lied and everyone but the moron from Utah knows it
[Hatch's head explodes]
Russert: shit not again
Leahy: Rove and Miers were giving the orders and Abu followed whoever the next president is they shouldn't be a fascist
Timmster: They lied about Karl Rove pushing for Griffin - they're blaming some new employee for the whole thing you buy that?
Hatch: ummmmmm
Timmy: wait there's more - Bush e-mails say he doesn't want to be backed into a corner with all their lies
Orrin: Ok first of all in their defense anyone with brains would say that this was bad
Timmy: your brains exploded all over my studio Senator
Orrin: yeah sorry
Leahy: my brain, my brain
Orrin: let me finish - there's no non-shredded evidence proving some specific straw evidence i just made up
Timmy: what about all the real evidence
Orrin: immigrant smuggling, porn, obscenity...
Timmy: are those your hobbies
Orrin: its a tempest in a teacup in a coffee cup
Leahy: sorry to get so angry so earlier in the morning
Timmy: we pretape saturday evening
Hatch: ha ha
Leahy: Duke Cunningham dood
Hatch: Not on shred of evidence - look i never shut up
Timmy: pleasure of the president
Hatch: you're good goddamm right by the power of moroni its a sacred right
Leahy: oh did i mention the tobacco case there's even more corruption
Hatch: This is crazy! What people don't realize is Bill Clinton was my bitch
Hatch: Look if they were really corrupt they would have had all US Attorneys killed ergo there is nothing to see here
Timmer: The National Review thinks Abu is an idiot or a liar or frankly both
Hatch: we all know that
Timmy: so Alberto yes or no
Hatch: um uh hmmm hey there's crime in america anyway there's alot of employees at the DOJ there and I'm not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth hispanics and america!!!
Kylie: yeah of course he was in those discussions
Leahy: back in Vermont would call this guy Alberto Gonzalez un menteur pathologique vermont is french for green mountain men you know
Russert: no shit
Leahy: oui c'est vrai
Timmeh: Hey Hatch this looks bad right
Orrin: Excuse me i these lies are catching in my thoat
Tim: here have a truth-lozenge
Hatch: his lies are of a general nature and not specific
Timmy: Sen. Mark Pryor lied to me and you and the whole world
Hatch: oh no no no - Griffin was highly qualified
[Leahy's head explodes]
Timmeh: Senator your head just exploded and i'm wearing a new suit
Leahy: sorry about that
Tim: its ok
Leahy: the mountains of e-mails and documents and statements all prove they lied and everyone but the moron from Utah knows it
[Hatch's head explodes]
Russert: shit not again
Leahy: Rove and Miers were giving the orders and Abu followed whoever the next president is they shouldn't be a fascist
Timmster: They lied about Karl Rove pushing for Griffin - they're blaming some new employee for the whole thing you buy that?
Hatch: ummmmmm
Timmy: wait there's more - Bush e-mails say he doesn't want to be backed into a corner with all their lies
Orrin: Ok first of all in their defense anyone with brains would say that this was bad
Timmy: your brains exploded all over my studio Senator
Orrin: yeah sorry
Leahy: my brain, my brain
Orrin: let me finish - there's no non-shredded evidence proving some specific straw evidence i just made up
Timmy: what about all the real evidence
Orrin: immigrant smuggling, porn, obscenity...
Timmy: are those your hobbies
Orrin: its a tempest in a teacup in a coffee cup
Leahy: sorry to get so angry so earlier in the morning
Timmy: we pretape saturday evening
Hatch: ha ha
Leahy: Duke Cunningham dood
Hatch: Not on shred of evidence - look i never shut up
Timmy: pleasure of the president
Hatch: you're good goddamm right by the power of moroni its a sacred right
Leahy: oh did i mention the tobacco case there's even more corruption
Hatch: This is crazy! What people don't realize is Bill Clinton was my bitch
Hatch: Look if they were really corrupt they would have had all US Attorneys killed ergo there is nothing to see here
Timmer: The National Review thinks Abu is an idiot or a liar or frankly both
Hatch: we all know that
Timmy: so Alberto yes or no
Hatch: um uh hmmm hey there's crime in america anyway there's alot of employees at the DOJ there and I'm not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth hispanics and america!!!
The Chris Mattews Show - April 2007
Matthews: Does Bush have a new man date gosh i hope so
Joe Klein: Tal Afar was a success before it wasn't look i'm an expert on counter insurgency
Andrea Mitchell: Republicans are doing crack
5th columnn Sullivan: Can be Bush be broken in teh saddle? There are places in New York where that could be done for a fee
Matthews: Put a leash on teh President
Andy: yeah good idea of course that costs more
Matthews Meter: GOPS no like Dubya
Klein: It is very unfair to cut everything in August what crazy liberal came up with that deadline???
Panel: President Bush did
Klein: See that proves Bush is a liberal
Andrea: But that's crazy
Klein: Ok let me explain the Democrats are smart and right woo hoo look at me I see where my bread is butterd
Zachia: Violence is bad
Sully: Oh please it's a Republican war for sure
Andrea: wake me when September ends
Sully: bush will never do crack he stopped in 1974
Klein: Bush should be overridden and hard
Matthews: Let's talk about Bill Clinton's sex life
Panel: yeah that's fun
Tweety: Bill Clinton is like Lucy and Hillary is like Ricky are you following me I'm feminizing Clinton making seem whiny and weak yeah I have serious psychogical issues
Joe Klein: The Clenis is a multitasker he can get do a crossword get a blowjob and watch MASH reruns all at once
Matthews: Republican party is in freefall
Sully: i want to be a Republican but then it was fun in teh 80s those were some crazy parties but then i found about the whole lampshade thing
Chris Matthews: The whole US Attorney thing is not important but dammit get teh fascism right
Klein: when you think government sucks you tend to suck
Tweety: Ken Duberstein!! Bush can still be on Mount Rushmore!
Mitchell: Gates is a master stroker
Sullly: smaller government!
Greenspan: Ruckelshouse!
Klein i hate Dems
Sully: i hate Hillary
Klein: this is natural evolution not intelligent design dems are little scurrying mammals kicking dino ass
Klein: Israel wants to talk to Syria but Bush won't have it
Andrea: Fred Thompson won't run he's going to succeed Paul Harvey that's the rest of story
Tweety: i really really luv gruff men like fred Thompson
Joe Klein: Tal Afar was a success before it wasn't look i'm an expert on counter insurgency
Andrea Mitchell: Republicans are doing crack
5th columnn Sullivan: Can be Bush be broken in teh saddle? There are places in New York where that could be done for a fee
Matthews: Put a leash on teh President
Andy: yeah good idea of course that costs more
Matthews Meter: GOPS no like Dubya
Klein: It is very unfair to cut everything in August what crazy liberal came up with that deadline???
Panel: President Bush did
Klein: See that proves Bush is a liberal
Andrea: But that's crazy
Klein: Ok let me explain the Democrats are smart and right woo hoo look at me I see where my bread is butterd
Zachia: Violence is bad
Sully: Oh please it's a Republican war for sure
Andrea: wake me when September ends
Sully: bush will never do crack he stopped in 1974
Klein: Bush should be overridden and hard
Matthews: Let's talk about Bill Clinton's sex life
Panel: yeah that's fun
Tweety: Bill Clinton is like Lucy and Hillary is like Ricky are you following me I'm feminizing Clinton making seem whiny and weak yeah I have serious psychogical issues
Joe Klein: The Clenis is a multitasker he can get do a crossword get a blowjob and watch MASH reruns all at once
Matthews: Republican party is in freefall
Sully: i want to be a Republican but then it was fun in teh 80s those were some crazy parties but then i found about the whole lampshade thing
Chris Matthews: The whole US Attorney thing is not important but dammit get teh fascism right
Klein: when you think government sucks you tend to suck
Tweety: Ken Duberstein!! Bush can still be on Mount Rushmore!
Mitchell: Gates is a master stroker
Sullly: smaller government!
Greenspan: Ruckelshouse!
Klein i hate Dems
Sully: i hate Hillary
Klein: this is natural evolution not intelligent design dems are little scurrying mammals kicking dino ass
Klein: Israel wants to talk to Syria but Bush won't have it
Andrea: Fred Thompson won't run he's going to succeed Paul Harvey that's the rest of story
Tweety: i really really luv gruff men like fred Thompson
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Not An Exact Transcript - McLaughlin
McLaughlin: issue one, Abu!
Pat: they didn't abort anything which would be a crime
Eleanor: Fielding knew what he was doing as you and Pat know well from Waterg-
John: careful...
McLaughlin: Showdown?
Blankley: Executive Privilege is like a slip 'n slide it was fun in the summer of 1974
John: i like your suit
Blankman: yeah it's sherwin-williams
John Mc: conditions laughable yes or no aroma of executive privilege
O'Donnell: Dems are salivating at the idea of questioning him Rove is a guy who lies all the time
Pat: Journalists are hypocrites they want their privilege when Repubs confess to crimes
Eleanor: um, let's not forget this is about lying, corruption, obstruction of justice....
Pat: i say this is a show trial, in other words i got nothing
O'Donnell: Rove is a liar
Blankley: boo-hoo so unfair he just has a bad memory for the bad things he's done
McLaughlin: Did you ever see SchoolHouse Rock, it said "No More Kings" in other words Bush is a dictator once war starts
Eleanor: they sent troops with no body armor
Blankley: The model is George Washington no micromanging is allowed even though the Constitution didn't even exist back then
Elinor: ok those are tired buzzwords can i just point out Bush is planning to invade Iran
O'Donnell: we don't have enough troops even if we wanted to
Elinor: don't be too sure they're pretty dumb
McLaughlin: Gore like a big hero this week are the deniers like those who ride dinosaurs to church
Larry: Clinton nailed Gore on carbon tax
Pat: It's hype it's not serious like ten new aircraft carriers
McLaughlin: Look at all these credentials Oscar, Nobel Prize Kelly Clarkson and Red Hot Chili Peppers hey they're hot
Blankley: no he's an impressario and by the way there is no such thing as global warming
Pat: he's like Leni Reifenstahl that's a compliment i love her movies
McLaughlin: The YouTube loophole is very scary
Pat: real issue is freelancers
Eleanor: let her rip
McLaughlin: The internet is has sleazy stuff, it's a toilet - kinda like my show but with dancing cats
Pat: they didn't abort anything which would be a crime
Eleanor: Fielding knew what he was doing as you and Pat know well from Waterg-
John: careful...
McLaughlin: Showdown?
Blankley: Executive Privilege is like a slip 'n slide it was fun in the summer of 1974
John: i like your suit
Blankman: yeah it's sherwin-williams
John Mc: conditions laughable yes or no aroma of executive privilege
O'Donnell: Dems are salivating at the idea of questioning him Rove is a guy who lies all the time
Pat: Journalists are hypocrites they want their privilege when Repubs confess to crimes
Eleanor: um, let's not forget this is about lying, corruption, obstruction of justice....
Pat: i say this is a show trial, in other words i got nothing
O'Donnell: Rove is a liar
Blankley: boo-hoo so unfair he just has a bad memory for the bad things he's done
McLaughlin: Did you ever see SchoolHouse Rock, it said "No More Kings" in other words Bush is a dictator once war starts
Eleanor: they sent troops with no body armor
Blankley: The model is George Washington no micromanging is allowed even though the Constitution didn't even exist back then
Elinor: ok those are tired buzzwords can i just point out Bush is planning to invade Iran
O'Donnell: we don't have enough troops even if we wanted to
Elinor: don't be too sure they're pretty dumb
McLaughlin: Gore like a big hero this week are the deniers like those who ride dinosaurs to church
Larry: Clinton nailed Gore on carbon tax
Pat: It's hype it's not serious like ten new aircraft carriers
McLaughlin: Look at all these credentials Oscar, Nobel Prize Kelly Clarkson and Red Hot Chili Peppers hey they're hot
Blankley: no he's an impressario and by the way there is no such thing as global warming
Pat: he's like Leni Reifenstahl that's a compliment i love her movies
McLaughlin: The YouTube loophole is very scary
Pat: real issue is freelancers
Eleanor: let her rip
McLaughlin: The internet is has sleazy stuff, it's a toilet - kinda like my show but with dancing cats
Not An Exact Transcript - Russert
Specter: we need to have an AG who is candid, truthful, and believes Oswald acted alone
Timmeh: ok, leaving the single bullet theory aside for a moment, what's the deal with Alberto
Durbin: 486 US As and 2 are fired and now suddenly 8 are gone because Karl Rove wanted a permanent majority
Timmeh: Abu yes or no
Durbin: no
Timmeh: Jeebus these were in the top Ten prosecutors that's what Casey Kasem said
Specter: someone's got some 'splaining to do
Timmeh: Does Abu has Integrity
Specter: i can't tell until i get a good look at the whites of his eyeballs
Timmeh: Rove under oath - do those words get you excited to go fishing
Durbin: sadly we may have to ask him a lot of questions i wouldn't rule out waterboarding but don't worry there won't be any organ failure
Timmeh: Avoid a show trial
Durbin: heh give me a break it won't be a show unless he really sings
Specter: look i think i'm still in charge isn't that funny
Timmeh: yeah you lost
Specter: do you like my coat it used to be a sofa
Timmeh: its good i like the tie too is that the pepto bismol line
Specter: yeah it's time to end the stalemate and bickering and cave into the white house.
Bradley: boldness...ethics.. imagine there's no parties, it's easy if you try
Timmeh: ok i've heard that song before
Bradley: imagine all the people, voting DLC.....
Timmeh: you bash Dems which is good but arent't you soft on defense
Bradely: No i'm very hard
Tim: gas tax man no wonder you're out of politics
Bradely: we wouldn't use that dollar for spending
Timmeh: you're not saying Iraq was related to oil holy shit
Bradley: Dems should take back religion and morality
Bradely: I hate it when Dems say that people who succeed in America are the problem -- i have lots of examples hidden in my briefcase
Timmeh: you have no charisma - bitter much
Bradley: hey i resent that it's just Repubus never fall for charisma look at their great choices like Reagan and George W. Bush
Timmy: Dems who do you luv
Bradely: edwards has a health care plan but the real issue is that i like to pretend that i'm above petty issues like politics do you think david broder will like what i'm saying
Tim: obama yes or no
Bradley: well he stole my ideas and i resent it because he's got charisma and he's a rock star
Timm: so you're not impressed
Bradley: no, did you know i only got elected because i played basketball and i could easily take Obama
Timmeh: ok, leaving the single bullet theory aside for a moment, what's the deal with Alberto
Durbin: 486 US As and 2 are fired and now suddenly 8 are gone because Karl Rove wanted a permanent majority
Timmeh: Abu yes or no
Durbin: no
Timmeh: Jeebus these were in the top Ten prosecutors that's what Casey Kasem said
Specter: someone's got some 'splaining to do
Timmeh: Does Abu has Integrity
Specter: i can't tell until i get a good look at the whites of his eyeballs
Timmeh: Rove under oath - do those words get you excited to go fishing
Durbin: sadly we may have to ask him a lot of questions i wouldn't rule out waterboarding but don't worry there won't be any organ failure
Timmeh: Avoid a show trial
Durbin: heh give me a break it won't be a show unless he really sings
Specter: look i think i'm still in charge isn't that funny
Timmeh: yeah you lost
Specter: do you like my coat it used to be a sofa
Timmeh: its good i like the tie too is that the pepto bismol line
Specter: yeah it's time to end the stalemate and bickering and cave into the white house.
Bradley: boldness...ethics.. imagine there's no parties, it's easy if you try
Timmeh: ok i've heard that song before
Bradley: imagine all the people, voting DLC.....
Timmeh: you bash Dems which is good but arent't you soft on defense
Bradely: No i'm very hard
Tim: gas tax man no wonder you're out of politics
Bradely: we wouldn't use that dollar for spending
Timmeh: you're not saying Iraq was related to oil holy shit
Bradley: Dems should take back religion and morality
Bradely: I hate it when Dems say that people who succeed in America are the problem -- i have lots of examples hidden in my briefcase
Timmeh: you have no charisma - bitter much
Bradley: hey i resent that it's just Repubus never fall for charisma look at their great choices like Reagan and George W. Bush
Timmy: Dems who do you luv
Bradely: edwards has a health care plan but the real issue is that i like to pretend that i'm above petty issues like politics do you think david broder will like what i'm saying
Tim: obama yes or no
Bradley: well he stole my ideas and i resent it because he's got charisma and he's a rock star
Timm: so you're not impressed
Bradley: no, did you know i only got elected because i played basketball and i could easily take Obama
Not An Exact Transcript - This Week
Will: John Edwards, it's gallantry
Donaldson: there will be people who will say Edwards was wrong i luv to use the unnamed passive voice it makes me feel lordly
Cokie: jeebus christ it's nobody's business
Will: Lincoln lost a child
Donaldson: yes and *some people* not me of course would say that looks like carelessness
Steph: what about sympathy
Donaldson: look dammit the voters will hate him for this not me of course other people lesser Americans than me
McCain: The people voter in November for blind support for Bush
Cokie: holy cow he's nucking futs
Will: no this is very bad for the Democrats of course they are right but they are invested in failure when a good mutual fund is better
Sam: Arr! Grr!
Cokie: No this is very bad for Dems they're a bunch of antiwar losers who lost after 1974
Steph: except for 1976
Cokie: oh fuck you i repeating received wisdom as you well know
Steph: Democracy in DC yes or no
Cokie: it is weird that there is no democracy in the capitol of the USA but there are too many whites in the GOP
Sam: don't kid yourself they will never let DC residents vote
Will: I'm churlish i suppose but if we lets DC residents vote that means they can establish a religion which we know Republicans hate
Donaldson: there will be people who will say Edwards was wrong i luv to use the unnamed passive voice it makes me feel lordly
Cokie: jeebus christ it's nobody's business
Will: Lincoln lost a child
Donaldson: yes and *some people* not me of course would say that looks like carelessness
Steph: what about sympathy
Donaldson: look dammit the voters will hate him for this not me of course other people lesser Americans than me
McCain: The people voter in November for blind support for Bush
Cokie: holy cow he's nucking futs
Will: no this is very bad for the Democrats of course they are right but they are invested in failure when a good mutual fund is better
Sam: Arr! Grr!
Cokie: No this is very bad for Dems they're a bunch of antiwar losers who lost after 1974
Steph: except for 1976
Cokie: oh fuck you i repeating received wisdom as you well know
Steph: Democracy in DC yes or no
Cokie: it is weird that there is no democracy in the capitol of the USA but there are too many whites in the GOP
Sam: don't kid yourself they will never let DC residents vote
Will: I'm churlish i suppose but if we lets DC residents vote that means they can establish a religion which we know Republicans hate
Not An Exact Transcript - Chris Matthews
Tweety: cancer is the way we die in teh USA well maybe not tom delay that will be insecticide
Borger: he had me at incurable
White Afro: Hillary can't go after him now
Tweety: Bill and Hill hate Obama
Healy: They think teh media is down with Barack
Tweety: i luv to say Hillary is really angry
Borger: they're whiny
Noron: Page 294 of Audacity of Hope is a good read it's really audacious and bodacious
Healy: I asked Hillary about civil war and she said Gettysburg was teh bomb
Tweety: its ingenuity heh Hillary's a fascist
Norah: year it's about money
Tweety: it's an outrage that we're spreading democracy and still Hillary is allowed to run!
Panel: Gore will run he looked sporty wearing a checked shirt yeah still caring about his clothes
Tweety: Hillary is evil
Healy: i haven't measured his waistline i think Judith Miller is on top of that story
Casey Stengel: Clintons always stoop low
Tweety: he's gonna get beaten by teh Clintons again i luv to say that even though that never happened
Tweety: I luv Rin Tin Tin better a good german that a scary lassie
Tweety: Dems fear Rove
Borger: He's like Vader a Sith Lord
Noron: Ha ha ha ha
Casey: Perry Mason was fat tit for tat Dems are petty
Noron: Dems have to be careful god forbid someone expose Rove's evilness
WhiteAfro: They're mad cause Dick told them to fuck off well now it's payback time
Tweety: Dems puzzle me they're so weird with all this ethics and stuff
Norah: if not Abu then who?
Tweety: They will be sympathy if they trash him hispanics do they jobs white people won't do like subverting justice
Norah: Dems are bad
Stengel: Penatgon is wasting money to be spent saving lives
Healy: Gore and Tipper are having a lot of fun they don't want to run
Tweety: Hillary is Madame Defarge hey cool i got one more slur into the show
Borger: he had me at incurable
White Afro: Hillary can't go after him now
Tweety: Bill and Hill hate Obama
Healy: They think teh media is down with Barack
Tweety: i luv to say Hillary is really angry
Borger: they're whiny
Noron: Page 294 of Audacity of Hope is a good read it's really audacious and bodacious
Healy: I asked Hillary about civil war and she said Gettysburg was teh bomb
Tweety: its ingenuity heh Hillary's a fascist
Norah: year it's about money
Tweety: it's an outrage that we're spreading democracy and still Hillary is allowed to run!
Panel: Gore will run he looked sporty wearing a checked shirt yeah still caring about his clothes
Tweety: Hillary is evil
Healy: i haven't measured his waistline i think Judith Miller is on top of that story
Casey Stengel: Clintons always stoop low
Tweety: he's gonna get beaten by teh Clintons again i luv to say that even though that never happened
Tweety: I luv Rin Tin Tin better a good german that a scary lassie
Tweety: Dems fear Rove
Borger: He's like Vader a Sith Lord
Noron: Ha ha ha ha
Casey: Perry Mason was fat tit for tat Dems are petty
Noron: Dems have to be careful god forbid someone expose Rove's evilness
WhiteAfro: They're mad cause Dick told them to fuck off well now it's payback time
Tweety: Dems puzzle me they're so weird with all this ethics and stuff
Norah: if not Abu then who?
Tweety: They will be sympathy if they trash him hispanics do they jobs white people won't do like subverting justice
Norah: Dems are bad
Stengel: Penatgon is wasting money to be spent saving lives
Healy: Gore and Tipper are having a lot of fun they don't want to run
Tweety: Hillary is Madame Defarge hey cool i got one more slur into the show
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Meet The Press Not A Transcript
Slestak: i've landed on an aircraft carriers for real unlike some presidents i could mention
Delay: wow dood you were in the indian ocean did you run into chief crazy horse
Slestak: dood with all due respect which is to say zero Osama is not in Iraq
delay: look we have to listen to teh terrorists and do whatever they say terrorist are like car keys we have to look for them where the light is better
Slestak: dood your on drugs
Delay: were at war with indonesia europe and everyone lets not surrender
Slestak: yea but-
Delay: look dood this is meet the press only wingnuts get to talk so here i go
Perle: kill! kill! kill! kill!
Slestak: oh my god your are fucking crazy
Perle: dood your not even giving failure a chance its only been four years
Andrews: hey dood i'd rather take military advice from the Admiral that fucking draft dodging coward like Tom Delay
Delay: the iraqis are like pets we have to take care of them we can never leave until the entire middle east is stable
Russert: whew and here I was worried
Sestak: this is about america not so you can feel like a big man
Delay: surrender surrender wow i so brave
Perle: This is all about the people of iraq heh heh i so full of shit
Andrews: yeah what a great idea young Americans dying for some fucking civil war
Perle: 'redeploy' is a just another word for surrender and you know it
Sestak: oh you just got personal which for someone like you is not a good idea
Russert you're all total fuckups what's up with that
Delay: i'm frustated we haven't killed enough people it's true
Paul Harvey: don't drag me into this slimeball
Delay: i recall when i played poker with Saddam every week before the war he told me with enough chlorine "i will rule the world" i said Saddam calm down and pass the cheese dip
Timmy: what would happen if we left immediately or within a year you know much too soon
Andrews: gee i don't know maybe kids would stop dying
Perle: in my defense i never thought there would be a five year occupation so I was wrong so that means I was right
Timmy: okay i follow
Perle: Gore was with me ok i'm lying but it's all I got
Timmy: so anything but lies?
Perle: Saddam was going to give a nuke to terrorists no really that's all i got
Delay: after a war starts we should never have people protesting my god they even considered impeaching teh president the nerve
Sestak: after the show i'd like step outside and aid and abet a can of whoop-ass on this guy
Delay: wow dood you were in the indian ocean did you run into chief crazy horse
Slestak: dood with all due respect which is to say zero Osama is not in Iraq
delay: look we have to listen to teh terrorists and do whatever they say terrorist are like car keys we have to look for them where the light is better
Slestak: dood your on drugs
Delay: were at war with indonesia europe and everyone lets not surrender
Slestak: yea but-
Delay: look dood this is meet the press only wingnuts get to talk so here i go
Perle: kill! kill! kill! kill!
Slestak: oh my god your are fucking crazy
Perle: dood your not even giving failure a chance its only been four years
Andrews: hey dood i'd rather take military advice from the Admiral that fucking draft dodging coward like Tom Delay
Delay: the iraqis are like pets we have to take care of them we can never leave until the entire middle east is stable
Russert: whew and here I was worried
Sestak: this is about america not so you can feel like a big man
Delay: surrender surrender wow i so brave
Perle: This is all about the people of iraq heh heh i so full of shit
Andrews: yeah what a great idea young Americans dying for some fucking civil war
Perle: 'redeploy' is a just another word for surrender and you know it
Sestak: oh you just got personal which for someone like you is not a good idea
Russert you're all total fuckups what's up with that
Delay: i'm frustated we haven't killed enough people it's true
Paul Harvey: don't drag me into this slimeball
Delay: i recall when i played poker with Saddam every week before the war he told me with enough chlorine "i will rule the world" i said Saddam calm down and pass the cheese dip
Timmy: what would happen if we left immediately or within a year you know much too soon
Andrews: gee i don't know maybe kids would stop dying
Perle: in my defense i never thought there would be a five year occupation so I was wrong so that means I was right
Timmy: okay i follow
Perle: Gore was with me ok i'm lying but it's all I got
Timmy: so anything but lies?
Perle: Saddam was going to give a nuke to terrorists no really that's all i got
Delay: after a war starts we should never have people protesting my god they even considered impeaching teh president the nerve
Sestak: after the show i'd like step outside and aid and abet a can of whoop-ass on this guy
Sunday Not An Exact Transcript
Mr. Shipman: call me nuts but a pro-abortion cross dressing immoral freak might not be the best choice for the GOP
Mrs. Shipman: Bush is really really popular look at his success in Vietnam
George Will: i miss reagan if this was your party you'd cry too
Brazille: Fred Thomson will dive into pool cannonball!
Shipman: well he look the part which i s the most important thing
Brzille: Gore is coming back george Will shut your skinny white mouth
Mrs. Shipman: Bush is really really popular look at his success in Vietnam
George Will: i miss reagan if this was your party you'd cry too
Brazille: Fred Thomson will dive into pool cannonball!
Shipman: well he look the part which i s the most important thing
Brzille: Gore is coming back george Will shut your skinny white mouth
Sunday Not An Exact Transcript
Steph: Pace big closet case?
Shipman: good news for Republicans this is all bad for Hillary
Steph: gays immoral yes or no
Brazille: criminy these campaigns are so driven by cautious campaign managers unlike the brave brave sir robin dukakis
George Will: when i was at boarding school this all de rigor we all experimented with using our left hands
Shipman: good news for Republicans this is all bad for Hillary
Steph: gays immoral yes or no
Brazille: criminy these campaigns are so driven by cautious campaign managers unlike the brave brave sir robin dukakis
George Will: when i was at boarding school this all de rigor we all experimented with using our left hands
Sunday Not An Exact Transcript
Tweety: he's got no religion
Parker: but he can handles snakes look at his close relationship with bernie kerik
Tweety: ha ha i luv how he talks he luvs cops
NYC reporter: lets face it he's an asshole
Tweety: when i ride the subway in brooklyn i fear the black man
Fineman: that's right and now Republicans fear brown people around the world he'll crack skulls but competently
Tweety: he trashed his wife on tv
Heileman: he's abusive
Fineman: Donna's boy not liking Rudy
Tweety: ok here's where I pour on the luv on Rudy
Parker: but he can handles snakes look at his close relationship with bernie kerik
Tweety: ha ha i luv how he talks he luvs cops
NYC reporter: lets face it he's an asshole
Tweety: when i ride the subway in brooklyn i fear the black man
Fineman: that's right and now Republicans fear brown people around the world he'll crack skulls but competently
Tweety: he trashed his wife on tv
Heileman: he's abusive
Fineman: Donna's boy not liking Rudy
Tweety: ok here's where I pour on the luv on Rudy
Sunday Not An Exact Transcript
Tweety: rudy gives me woody on the stump
Rudy: being mayor is perfect prep for Prez
Tweety: voters are taking a hard look
Fineman: but getting nyc streets snowplowed is foreign policy
Katty: he's selling himself as comptent
Parker: 9/11 9/11 9/11 murder rate jihad
NYC Guy: dood new yorkers never liked him and they were that panicked to begin with
Rudy: being mayor is perfect prep for Prez
Tweety: voters are taking a hard look
Fineman: but getting nyc streets snowplowed is foreign policy
Katty: he's selling himself as comptent
Parker: 9/11 9/11 9/11 murder rate jihad
NYC Guy: dood new yorkers never liked him and they were that panicked to begin with
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Not An Exact Transcript!
karl rove: jesus I'm the good guy here I could have fired all of them but I was too busy destroying the CIA
Blankley: there's nothing to see here after all Reagan did it so it must have been right.
Gregory: dood that's a head scratcher
Blankely: oh fuck it I admit it Gonzalez is teh Freddo of this crowd now we need a rowboat
Blankely: dood i was Newt's press secretary so believe i know how to handle lying and scandal cover-ups
Gregory: hmmm interesting whats up with your hair
Blankman: its spray on heh these guys are all dumb fucks
Gregory: my hair totally rulez
Blankman: Schumer is deeply insincere but I will say they could face the ultimate sanction that is apologize and get promoted
Blankley: there's nothing to see here after all Reagan did it so it must have been right.
Gregory: dood that's a head scratcher
Blankely: oh fuck it I admit it Gonzalez is teh Freddo of this crowd now we need a rowboat
Blankely: dood i was Newt's press secretary so believe i know how to handle lying and scandal cover-ups
Gregory: hmmm interesting whats up with your hair
Blankman: its spray on heh these guys are all dumb fucks
Gregory: my hair totally rulez
Blankman: Schumer is deeply insincere but I will say they could face the ultimate sanction that is apologize and get promoted
Not An Exact Transcript!
McKay: dood Gonzalez lied but the crime here is that they're so fucking bad at it
Cummins: they smeared good people to hide their total shittiness nice huh
Gregory: why were you fired dood
Cummins: hey i was willing to do the little salute when bush came in the room but I wasn't gonna grow the charlie chaplin mustache
Gregory: hey is Justice really the place to stick the losers of the bush administration
Cummins: draw yur own conclusions heh heh
McKay: they put a cloud over the whole Justice department
Gregory: cmon speculate about these fascists
Mckay: well i wouldn't throw dems in abu ghraib so that's a performance problem
McKay: call me crazy but someone needs to look into this
Gregory: bush administration DOJ is full of inexperience hacks true?
Cummins: you don't need a lot of experience in prosecutions to have ethics for crying out loud
Mckay: i don't think gonzalez is too political but the people he works with are like bush and rove people like that
Cummins: yes of course new presidents can put new US attorneys in but by the hammer of thor you can't prosecute people for political reasons
Cummins: they smeared good people to hide their total shittiness nice huh
Gregory: why were you fired dood
Cummins: hey i was willing to do the little salute when bush came in the room but I wasn't gonna grow the charlie chaplin mustache
Gregory: hey is Justice really the place to stick the losers of the bush administration
Cummins: draw yur own conclusions heh heh
McKay: they put a cloud over the whole Justice department
Gregory: cmon speculate about these fascists
Mckay: well i wouldn't throw dems in abu ghraib so that's a performance problem
McKay: call me crazy but someone needs to look into this
Gregory: bush administration DOJ is full of inexperience hacks true?
Cummins: you don't need a lot of experience in prosecutions to have ethics for crying out loud
Mckay: i don't think gonzalez is too political but the people he works with are like bush and rove people like that
Cummins: yes of course new presidents can put new US attorneys in but by the hammer of thor you can't prosecute people for political reasons
Friday, August 11, 2006
Wall Street Journal Wimps Out
"Another issue that should be front and center again is ethnic profiling. We'd be shocked if such profiling wasn't a factor in the selection of surveillance targets that resulted in yesterday's arrests. Here in the U.S., the arrests should be a reminder of the dangers posed by a politically correct system of searching 80-year-old airplane passengers with the same vigor as screeners search young men of Muslim origin.
– Editorial, The Wall Street Journal
The Wall Street "Soft on Terror" Journal wants to exempt women from their profile, but guess what?
The surrender monkeys at the "Blame America First Journal" apparently haven't heard that several of the bombers in the latest "plot" were women.
It may not be easy to game the system, but it sure is easy to game the children at the "Defeat Street Journal."
– Editorial, The Wall Street Journal
The Wall Street "Soft on Terror" Journal wants to exempt women from their profile, but guess what?
The surrender monkeys at the "Blame America First Journal" apparently haven't heard that several of the bombers in the latest "plot" were women.
It may not be easy to game the system, but it sure is easy to game the children at the "Defeat Street Journal."
Friday, February 17, 2006
Harry Whittington (and the Barenaked Ladies)
ONE WEEK
By Harry Whittington and the Barenaked Ladies
It’s been one week since you shot at me
Cocked your gun to your shoulder and nearly killed me.
Five days since you blasted me
Saying Harry, geez, you didn't see me.
Three days since we were drinking
I realized it’s all my fault, I wasn’t thinking
Yesterday you’d have unplugged me
But now I’m alive and said I’m sorry
How can you help it if you’re not sorry that I’m sad
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad
You’re the kind of guy who can start a war
Arrange a federal contract
It sucks to be poor
You have a tendency of getting your own way
You have a history of coming out on top
It’s been one week since you shot at me
Waved your gun around and really hurt me
Five days since you injured me
I’ve still got the birdshot lodged in my cheeks
It’s been three days since the afternoon
You realized it’s my fault not a moment too soon
Yesterday you’d have pinned the blame on me
But now you don’t have to I said I'm sorry
How can you help it if you’re not sorry that I’m sad
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad
You’re the kind of guy who can start a war
Remember Katrina
It sucks to be poor
You have a tendency of getting your own way
You have a history of coming out on top
It’s been one week since you shot at me
Had one beer and didn't see me
Five days since I almost died
And all your friends went on tv and lied
Three days since we hunted quail
Now thanks to me you won’t need bail
Yesterday you Swift Boated me
But now you won’t I said I'm sorry
You let me live I said I said I'm sorry
Can I meet you later in the lobby…
By Harry Whittington and the Barenaked Ladies
It’s been one week since you shot at me
Cocked your gun to your shoulder and nearly killed me.
Five days since you blasted me
Saying Harry, geez, you didn't see me.
Three days since we were drinking
I realized it’s all my fault, I wasn’t thinking
Yesterday you’d have unplugged me
But now I’m alive and said I’m sorry
How can you help it if you’re not sorry that I’m sad
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad
You’re the kind of guy who can start a war
Arrange a federal contract
It sucks to be poor
You have a tendency of getting your own way
You have a history of coming out on top
It’s been one week since you shot at me
Waved your gun around and really hurt me
Five days since you injured me
I’ve still got the birdshot lodged in my cheeks
It’s been three days since the afternoon
You realized it’s my fault not a moment too soon
Yesterday you’d have pinned the blame on me
But now you don’t have to I said I'm sorry
How can you help it if you’re not sorry that I’m sad
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad
You’re the kind of guy who can start a war
Remember Katrina
It sucks to be poor
You have a tendency of getting your own way
You have a history of coming out on top
It’s been one week since you shot at me
Had one beer and didn't see me
Five days since I almost died
And all your friends went on tv and lied
Three days since we hunted quail
Now thanks to me you won’t need bail
Yesterday you Swift Boated me
But now you won’t I said I'm sorry
You let me live I said I said I'm sorry
Can I meet you later in the lobby…
Friday, February 03, 2006
YOU BROKE MY HEART
Something about this scene is very familiar....
"You broke my heart. You broke my heart."
Thursday, February 02, 2006
We Finally Got Us a Boehner!
Oh, Congress was corrupt in city of D.C.,
when the GOP stepped up to the plate.
Delay had been swingin' and missin'
and talkin'' and dissin'
His average was point-double-o-eight.
So they debated each other
and voted in secret
And picked the guy with less taint.
This time they're gettin' a good guy!
With Abramoff he hasn't been sighted!
He may earmark and arm twist but at least
he hasn’t been indicted!
We've been slumpin' off season,
But now we've found a reason.
We've found a guy with less taint!
We used to play the field,
We used to be a roamer!
But the season's turnin' around for us now...
We finally got a Boehner!
That's right, we finally got a Boehner!
(courtesty of the Simpsons)
when the GOP stepped up to the plate.
Delay had been swingin' and missin'
and talkin'' and dissin'
His average was point-double-o-eight.
So they debated each other
and voted in secret
And picked the guy with less taint.
This time they're gettin' a good guy!
With Abramoff he hasn't been sighted!
He may earmark and arm twist but at least
he hasn’t been indicted!
We've been slumpin' off season,
But now we've found a reason.
We've found a guy with less taint!
We used to play the field,
We used to be a roamer!
But the season's turnin' around for us now...
We finally got a Boehner!
That's right, we finally got a Boehner!
(courtesty of the Simpsons)
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