Republican Debate - May 3, 2007

Republican Debate
MSNBC, Thursday, May 3

*** Not An Exact Transcript ***

Chris Matthews: hi im chris mathews ronald reagan had those great tv commericals with that guy from ernest & julio gallo wines Guiliani yur italian i'm sure you know them

Matthews: - Rudy how do make it mourning in america?

Rudy: I'm an optimist i dream we can live in a ferret-free america

McCain: my friends im hiding behind the troops - in Florida people cheer when we surrender thats bad

Matthews: ok

McCain: books have been written

Tommy Gun: first, we should plaster our cars with yellow magnets -- second we should give 1/3 of all children in Iraq a gallon of oil

Duncan Hunter: we should back out of Iraq slowly

Romney: we could have a tv set run the country, but what about commerical breaks - i mean get real ronald reagan was in the movies not tv

Moderator: thats true

Romney: iran and our friends could take our oil in Iraq away from us

Matthews: how do we win if there are so many kids who hate us who grow up to want to kill Americans

Brownback: i love moderate freedom-loving regimes like Egypt and Pakistan

Matthews: i like turkey

Brownback: who doesn't especially with gravy

Matthews: its delicious

Brownback: we have to engage Michael Jordan hes not weak

Huckabee: Bush is clearly a moron but why listen to gay man with a silk tie when you can hear a man with mud on face and blood on his feet its a big disgrace

Moderator: yur quoting Queen

Huckster: dood we will rock u

Gilmore Girl: we got distracted by that spot on Gorbachev's head in 1989 and forgot Reagan smuggled weapons to Osama bin Laden

Ron Paul: doods you are all crazy

McCain: [humming barbara ann] Iran is a totally great threat -- almost equal to Nancy Pelosi -- wait what was I saying oh right democracy and freedom and iraq i mean iraq..

Matthews: stop talking dood - what the Iran tripwire?

McCain: my greatest fear is Iran re-gifting a nuclear bomb

Matthews: yeah like on Seinfeld

McCain: he was jewish you know

Chris Matthews: speaking of jews Tancredo what's up

Tancredo: i luv Israel - 12th iman is ok but 13 is an unlucky number - a threat to israel is a threat to the United states

Matthews: dood you're weird

Rudy: teh Iranians looked into Reagan's eyes and panicked and returned teh hostages - they were afraid he would make another movie

Romney: teh Democrats are all hung up on Osama bin Laden - look this is an effort to bring down teh united states -- sure they start with boxcutters but they work their way up to knives and nunchucks dood

McCain: i will follow osama to teh gates of hell - i feel like i'm there right now

Matthews: foreign born yes or no

McCain: i dodge the question

Everyone else: no fucking way

Moderator: Rudy blacks yes or no

Rudy: look i treated whites just as bad as i treated blacks but you never hear about that

Tommy: i like the boy scout rule - we're stweards of teh earth and gay people are bad

Moderator: organ donations?

Tancredo: i hate disease but you're suggesting growing people in test tubes like frankenstein and no he was jewish you know

Paul: George Bush sux

Rudy: i will be the only one to speak for Roe v wade - that's pretty smart in a crowd of 10 dood

Tancredo: when a fetus can run for President it will be the greatest day in American history, second only to teh Little Big Horn

Romney: i want to apologize for being pro-life

Moderator: huh?

Romney: look dood when i realized massachusetts was cloning people i changed my mind

Brownback: I Love Jesus

Rudy: i hate abortion did you know my mother almost aborted me or so she told me last year

Matthews: i'm a cabdriver sum yourself up

McCain: this is about good vs. evil and i know all about that i'm old not senile dammitt blah blah blah

Matthews: damm stop talking

Tancredo: YARP!

Huckabee: Chris, you look very handsome tonight

Matthews: thanx

Huckabee: when a hiker gets a lost we find then a - muslim would pray to mecca that will never work

Paul: brown people don't pose a threat doods

Moderator: gays yes or no

Tompson: [stunned silence]

Matthews: Mitt - Speak to Catholics

Mitt: In "Battlefield Earth" they united to defeat a great enemy i hope to emulate that example

Huckabee: clearly Mitt belongs to a freak-ass religion

Mitt: dood

Huckabee: magic underwear, golden plates, u want me to go on

Mitt: no, point taken

Brownback: i once met Liberman - he's a jew i couldn't see his horns he must have long hair or something

Matthews: i'm a cabdriver - sum yourself up

McCain: this is about good vs. evil and i know all about that -- i'm old not senile dammitt blah blah blah

Matthews: damm stop talking

Tancredo: YARP!

Huckabee: Chris, you look very handsome tonight

Matthews: thanx

Huckabee: when a hiker gets a lost we find them - a muslim would pray to Mecca - that will never work

Paul: brown people don't pose a threat doods

Moderator: gays yes or no

Thompson: [stunned silence]

Matthews: Mitt - Speak to Catholics

Mitt: In "Battlefield Earth" they united to defeat a great enemy i hope to emulate that example

Huckabee: clearly Mitt belongs to a freak-ass religion

Mitt: dood

Huckabee: magic underwear, golden plates, u want me to go on

Mitt: no, point taken

Brownback: i once met Liberman a fucking jew i couldn't see his horns he must have long hair or something

Matthews: Rove yes or no

Gilmore: look karl rove is such a bad dancer that i wouldn't employ him

Matthews: you're all flailing

Tancredo: i used to like rove until i found out his great great grandfather was a dirty norweigan

Rudy: my father was italian

Tancredo: dirty wop!!

Rudy: one more word and i will have a plunger shoved up your ass

Tancredeo: im sorry

Matthews: Tommy why should we vote for u

Tommy: i have a blue tie

Moderator: Why is teh GOP so corrupt?

Brownback: dont forget teh one democrat with the $$ in his freezer

Moderator: ur reaching

Brownback: the reason Abramoff corrupted Congress is Don Imus, Rap Music and Abortion

Tancredo: im an extremist just like ronald reagan

Matthews: yeah but he was so handsome and ur ugly

Tancredo: ooh harsh dood

McCain: i knew a lot of drunken sailors - there was that one night I’d rather not talk about

Matthews: yur out of time but i'd love to hear teh end of that story

McCain: destroyer- i mean aircraft carrier - eh whatever

Moderator: Huck - if the Iraq War was a movie would give it an Oscar

Huckee: dood this is only teh middle of the movie if we had judged Titanic by that standard u would say it sucked

Moderator: it did suck

Huck: yeah but u had to wait til the end to find out

Rudy: i encouraged madonna and angelia jolie to adopt teh babies and abortion went down 50 percent

Moderator: racism yes or no

Thomson: i will stamp out racism and will take a business-oriented approach so i will put a jew in charge i wont welsh on it or gyp you

Moderator: dood

Thomspson: dont get your irish up otherwise or we wont have a chinaman's chance of succeeding

Moderator: women are teh fastest growing prisoners

Gilmore: i would leave this up to someone else -- i will take a lot naps as President like Reagan

Matthews: i'm having fun

Moderator: ur the only one

Mitt: nuclear transer is teh awesome

Matthews: no i said cloning

Mitt: dood Dr. Hobarts Method is the best

Brownback: Stem Cells it teh murder!

Panel: with all due respect to Nancy Reagan i luv little tiny embryos

McCain: i was a POW and i ate frozen embryos for a year to survive

Rudy: we paved the roads in New York City with frozen embryos was it wrong? i don't know but it worked

Mitt: My health care plan is Faaaaaaaaabulousss!!!!!

Moderator: but is it communist?

Mitt: no not HillaryCare - it's so darn exiiiiiiiting!

Brownback: I would like to kill someone behind a barn with a dull ax

Moderator: dood calm the fuck down

Gilmore: car tax bad!

Huckabee: i will get rid of the IRS and move to a consumption tax

Moderator: sure now that you've lost all that weight

Thompson: i'm excited about this race because i was Governor of Wisconsin and i would do anything to get the fuck out of there

McCain: flatter fairer tax

Paul: in my world the sky is a kind of crimson with a touch of mauve

Rudy: death tax -- when it goes to zero in 2011 we're going to have great incentive to kill your elderly relatives call it teh Anna Nicole phenomenon

Matthews: that baby is teh cute

Tancredo: what's wrong with killing relatives if they are hispanic

Moderator: name a good democrat

McCain: Lieberman

Moderator: i said Democrat not fascist

Moderator: evolution yes or no

McCain: no

Moderator: who else

Huckabee: adam and eve had a pet dinosaur like on the Flintstones

McCain: when i stand on the grand canyon i feel teh hand of god also flashbacks to Vietnam

Moderator: what's your greatest weakness

Rudy: i have no weaknesses

Brownback: he's eye-taaaalian

Huckabee: i hate greedy CEOs

Moderator: dood u r a Republican aren't u?

Paul: i trust the Internets - i luv freedom

Rudy: fences, id card, s rounding up immigrants, is cool and shit but why not just have teh brown people pay taxes

Mitt: yeah i agree -- foreigners were let in for teh Olympics but that went ok - they all went home

Paul: No ID cards!

Matthews: do you favor a law saying you have to be who you say you are

Tancredo: huh?

McCain & Rudy: only Aliens like ET would have to have an id card

Matthews: ok Alien what about Predator?

Brownback: my goodness what has this country come to when a white christian can't misremember now and then

Tancredo: i would make it legal for border guards to shoot people

Brownback: Terry was alive and in fact in better shape than Sen. Imhofe

McCain: in retrospect we blew it

Rudy: i would have put Terry Schiavo in Madame Tussauds and charged tickets

Matthews: Should we just have Bill Clinton back?

Brownback: Hillary killed Vince Foster

Gilmore: she’s a socialist

Huckabee: i had sex with Hillary

Tommy Thompson: i'm teh cleanup hitter

McCain: look at me i kind of sort of pro-life

Rudy: 9/11 is Hillary's fault -- none of the Dems said the word Islamic

Moderator: Sum up!

Hunter: teh chineeeseee!

Tancredo: Ben Franklin said...

Matthews: shut teh fuck up

Thompson: educational diplomacy

Rudy: 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11

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