Hardball - Friday, May 26

Hardball - Friday, May 26
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Matthews: i like to talk about hillary and sex

Baker: hillary likes to talk about iraq and health care and that's so phony because these books are about her husbands penis

Matthews: but Gerth works for teh New York Times so hes totally credible

Red Cheeks: this is a legitimate topic for discussion Clinton's penis and her vagina are crucial to our democracy

Matthews: hillary is such a bitch she cost 50 million americans health care

Baker: dood that is so true

Red cheeks: shes a controlling harridan

Matthews: it was her fault one her aides was robbed at an ATM

Cheeky: they didn't like ken starr you what that means they hate america

Matthews: hillary was in a three way with women at the Rose law firm

Baker: yeah thank god we can hang a legal hook on their sex life so we can talk about it

Matthews: should i buy this book is there a lot of sex in it

Baker: its fair and balanced a ripping good read

Red/shirt/red tie/red cheeks: if she would lie about her husbands penis what else would she lie about???!!!

Matthews: she covered up his affairs - did she have anyone killed?

Baker: probably - thats what makes this story so endlessly fascinating u can make anything up and talk about it

Chris: and we're back with Howard Wolfson i hope he knows alot about hillary and sex cause that's i talk about

Matthews: dood these are major publishing houses calling hillary a screeching freak

Howard Wolfson: dood who cares about these this is old news did u know theres a Harry Potter coming out

Matthews: not so fast dood i happen to be an authority on teh clinton's marriage and hillary's evilness especially

Wolfson: dood i noticed

Matthews: i always thought it was pat moynihan who stopped the health care plan now it turns out it was her vagina dentata

Wolfson: i guess republican opposition didn't count

Matthews: sex! penis! erection!

Wolfson: iraq! terror! health care!

Matthews: are people in iowa obsessed with the Clinton's sex life

Wolfson: yur doing yur best dood

Chris: did they procure women for Bill

Wolfson: dood there is a war in Iraq and all u want to talk about is Clinton's penis

Chris: dood don't talk to me i luv the war - i mean i hate it

Wolfson: whatever dood

Chris: why is everyone obsessed with Clinton's sex life then

Wolfson: dood only u - Chris Matthews - are obsessed with their sex

Chris: Mccain sez u r into surrender

Wolfson: dood that senile flak jacket wearing weirdo is welcome to this debate

Chris: let's talk about sex again

Wolfson: i think people would rather talk about the war

Chris: don't tell me about the iraq that i wake up in the morning thinking about iraq

Wolfson: alright let's talk about it

Chris: ok but dood first tell me why do the news media talk about hillary's sex life so much

[commercial break]

Matthews: and we're back to talk some more about the Clinton sex life

Melanie Morgan: the whole country will explode when this news comes out this is the great story of our time

Matthews: whats with yur face have u had a lot of plastic surgery

Melanie: dood lay off

Pariser: Iraq bill dammit this is the will of the people

Chris: but bush won't sign that bill

Pariser: dood bush is totally weak hes in nixon territory and i mean Nixon now as in dead

Chris: Melanie the iraq poll sez u suck

Morgan: american people would ideally like to see iraqi government be perfect and victory not surrender!!!

Melanie: basic human decency sez we should stay in iraq and occupy their country and bomb the living shit out of them

Pariser: dood what the fuck is victory now we're just recruiting for al qaeda

Melanie: abraham lincoln

Matthews: shut up

Hanretty: dood this is shocking me Hillary is actually a politician like everyone else!!!!

Green: i don't know how to read but people tell me Girth is an idiot-crazy-Clinton-hating obsessive

Matthews: god u r an asshole aren't u

Green: y do people always say that

Chris: do i talk about it for teh politics or to wallow in semen

Robinson: so she wuz ambitious so what

Chris: hah i luv it i can related i would do anything or anyone just to be on teevee

Morgan: it's sick to want to run f president its extreme narcissism when they look at each other they are basically another Hitler twice over

Chris: i should say now we will talk about nothing but Hillary and The Clenis for the next 2 years

[break]

Chris: Welcome back to the all Penis edition of Hardball Mark Green how big is yours

Green: im not going to answer that

Chris: small huh

Green: shut up

Chris: how did she win in NY

Green: not everyone likes Hillary personally but politically they luv her im so jealous i ran for office in NY and the more people met me teh more they hated me

Melanie: no none of that is true she never was elected to the Senate the real question is will Bill Clinton have sex in teh White House and why wont he call me

Green: why are u so bitter did u flash yur thong he likes that

Melanie: yeah he still said no thanks

Green: Teh Clintons were good presidents

Melanie: 9/11 wuz Clinton's fault

Chris: jeebus you are a loon aren't you

Chris: duz Scooter Libbry deserve 3 years in prison

Morgan: oh so sad he wuz railroaded

Chris: u disagree with the jury that he lied on the stand

Morgan: yes i disagree with the jury she wasn't covert!

Chris: are u retarded or what

Morgan: Grrrrr!!!!!!!

Chris: oh yur crazy should they pardon the Scooter?

Morgan: no because it might hurt jesus

Chris: how so

Morgan: Bush is teh reincarnation of the Lord Jeebus Christ

Chris: oh well have a good memorial day weekend everyone