Wednesday, May 30, 2007

The Chris Matthews Show - Sunday, May 27, 2007

The Chris Matthews Show - Sunday, May 27, 2007

Matthews: new books say hillary covered up bill’s affairs

Sully: teh 90s were all about the clintons being unfairly attacked so we should not elect hillary

Fineman: shes a double helix

Borger: people are sick of bill and hillary that’s why she leads in teh polls

Matthews: carl berstein sez she wuz ambitious and hes and honorable man

Hearn: so she’s controlling - like Rudy isnt

Chris: she's not honest about the Clenis

Fineman: she covered up hubby's affairs i cant stand that

Borger: she's the Godfather!

Matthews: She's lucca brazzzi!

Sully: my name is luka and i whore on teh second floor

Matthews: can she win only with she-devils vote

Fineman: yeah she goes for the bread and butter issues and you how women love to hang out in the kitchen

Chris: how does she win

Fineman: she gets all the women to vote absentee in California

Chris: why are all the wimmin absentee

Fineman: they’re all off getting abortions

Borger: they tell poor women obama is a fancy idealist

Matthews: but poor people need to dream while they park my car

Borger: its like that Nike ad - I could be like Hill

Hearn: waitresses don’t vote they’re too busy cleaning up after rich white guys

Sully: this could all change when people find out Obama is married to a chick coal miner

Chris: that hottie from that movie with Charlie Theron wow

Sully: they had a written deal to divide America between them thats creepy I mena how do they think they are the bushes or something

Borger: will the voters compartmentalize - that is do what the beltway press corps want them to do and reject hillary or be all evil and vote for her

Chris: so that’s good can teh GOP still win

Fineman: no dood look at the polls

Chris: no dammitt tell the Republicans win - now tell me!!

Borger: where are the values voter what about Rudy Giulian-

Chris: don’t u dare criticize my man crush Gloria

Hearn: her numbers go up when idiot men like Chris Matthews keep irrationally attacking her

Chris: shes evil and i hate her

Matthews: ok will hillary use female wiles and intimidation of the media to screw America

Fineman: do i have to accept your crazy premise

Sully: it’s all about the insane war i supported for years

Chris: who duz that help

Sully: obama because like me he knows the war is a bad idea

Chris: we cant accept that a loser could kill a great man JFK, Lincoln or Franz Ferdinand

Fineman: its part of democracy i for have never gotten over the assassination of garfield

Chris: they killed that cute cat those motherfuckers

Fineman: no you idiot

Chris: the unwashed masses need to believe it was moriarty, iago or professor plum with the candlestick

Borger: yes i agree the little people who are inferior to you and me can't accept reality that it was a confederacy of dunces who shot oswald

Matthews: the liberals just cant accept that Oswald a liberal and leftists who killed kennedy

Heard: no its that Oswald said he was a pastry and then he wuz shot by Ruby Tuesday who said he wuz set up by some white dood who was then drowned by Prescott Bush

Sully: i don’t really give a shit

Chris: Oswald acted alone and heres the proof he worked at the suppository before the route wuz made up so hah!

Sully: dood it wuz downtown dallas where else wuz he gonna go

Chris: either u believe me or u think the irish mafia killed he Kennedy because he stole their lucky charms

Borger: but we’re so cynical now why people even question the Beltway media

Chris: anyone who sez jfk was killed by more than one person is wrong because kennedy gave a speech saying if we leave saigon falls

Hearn: i thought that movie was way cool when i 13 yrs old

Sully: its just a fucking mystery but it history’s mystery now

Chris: Sully i luv but yur out to lunch

Sully: right back at ya dood

Chris: tell something i dunno

Hearn: Pelosi will go to Greenland to see it before its all gone into the sea

Fineman: Gore and Bloomberg will work together and then apart and then together again when Gore and Bloomie but run for Prez

Chris: whoa dood wait u just said Gore is running for Prez

Fineman: yes i did dood

Borger: many congressman will resign if they cant get free hot tub sex from lobbyists can u blame them

Sully: the preznit and sec of state cant control foreign policy in their own administration so were going to war with iran

Matthews: wow u all think my man-crush Fred Thompson is running that’s so cool - can he beat that weenie Gore

Fineman: he’ll run in September is hillary slips in iowa

Chris: Gore is too fat to win

Fineman: by October he’ll be lean, mean and ready to kick yur ass

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