Sunday, July 27, 2014

Meet The Press – July 27, 2014

Richard Engel
Kevin Tibbles
Benjamin Netanyahu – PM of Israel
Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY)
Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI)
Amos Harel
Chris Gunness – United Nations
Kelly O'Donnell
Ted Cruz (R-TX)
Nia-Malika Henderson
Judy Woodruff
Ruth Marcus
David Brooks

Gregory: good morning – breaking news
there is more fighting in Gaza
and Israel – ok I guess that's not
really breaking news

Engel: good morning David –
I was just in Gaza and its most
crowded neighborhood has
been reduced to rubble

Gregory: wow

Engel: this is not a precision war
it's punishment

Gregory: what are the Palestinians saying

Engel: some people are mad
at Hamas but others was
Hamas to bomb Israel in revenge

Gregory: what else

Engel: Gaza is fenced in and
Hamas wants the blockade lifted

Harel: for Hamas victory will be
to survive while Israel has to
take out every single rocket

Engel: Israel wants to take
out all the tunnels and rockets

Harel: both sides would like a way out

Engel: Israel says it can't accept
rockets fired at its cities while
Palestinians point to whole
neighborhoods destroyed

[ break ]

Gregory: good morning Bibi
what's happening there?

Netanyahu: Hamas wants us 
to kill civilians

Gregory: they do

Netanyahu: we will do whatever
we have to do protect ourselves

Gregory: and what is that

Netanyahu: Gaza must be have
no more weapons or terror tunnels

Gregory: okay

Netanyahu: that will allow us
to lift the blockade we have on Gaza

Gregory: oh that's good

Netanyahu: Hamas could use cement
or crayons to re-build the terror tunnels

Gregory: I never thought of that

Netanyahu: same thing with money
we can't let Palestinians have any
money unless we can supervise
them so they won't use it for bad things

Gregory: Israel bombed a UN school
even though you got the GPS
coordinates – did you ask
'Siri should I bomb this UN School?'

Netanyahu: that was Hamas' fault 
because they love dead bodies

Gregory: what about the UN school?

Netanyahu: that UN school was 
a legitimate target

Gregory: it was?

Netanyahu: yes maybe it Hamas 
that bombed that school

Gregory: wait which is it

Netanyahu: Hamas loves people
being killed but we hate it

Gregory: do you ever worry
you are killing too many civilians

Netanyahu: yes it makes us
very sad but every civilian
we kill is Hamas' fault

Gregory: I think I follow

Netanyahu: if we give Hamas goodies
for making us kill children that would be bad

Gregory: how do you ultimately win this fight?

Netanyahu: work with the Palestinian
Authority and destroy Hamas

Gregory: can you destroy Hamas?

Netanyahu: I don't want to give away
any secrets but hell yes we can

Gregory: tell me more

Netanyahu: if America was attacked
by rockets you would flatten that
country so we will do the same to Gaza

Gregory: good luck Bibi

[ break ]

Gregory: welcome sir -- have any 
other UN locations been it during 
this conflict? been hit?

Gunness: yes 10 minutes ago

Gregory: you're kidding

Gunness: no the UN compound
in Gaza was bombed a few minutes ago

Gregory: Bibi just told me UN 
locations are legitimate targets

Gunness: we did find rockets in
a mothballed UNRWA location

Gregory: a ha

Gunness: the UN is here trying
to protect civilians

Gregory: please comment on
this new grainy video you can't
see Israel says proves rockets
are being fired from UN schools

Gunness: you're ridiculous and unfair

Gregory: I've heard that

Gunness: I'm not going to
comment on a video I can't see

Gregory: well we can't verify
the video anyway

Gunness: look we're a neutral
organization flying a blue flag
trying to save lives

Gregory: so you say

Gunness: we spent hours begging
Israel not to kill civilians and
they told us to drop dead

Gregory: well good luck

[ break ]

Gregory: Good morning Chuck
should Israel do anything differently?

Schumer: no because Hamas
cannot be allowed to have
any rockets or tunnels

Gregory: okay

Schumer: Hamas even believes it
has the right to use military force

Gregory: that's amazing

Schumer: there will be a lasting
peace when Hamas is crushed

Gregory: I see

Schumer: then the Palestinian
people will elect moderate
pro-Israel leaders

Gregory: what about the
evacuation of the embassy in Libya?

Schumer: the fighting was not
aimed at the embassy – it was
two groups fighting each other

Gregory: what a relief

Schumer: frankly I'm skeptical
of the ability of the US to make
people in the Middle East and Africa
do exactly what we want them to do
all the time

Gregory: you just blew my mind

Gregory: is Europe appeasing Putin?

Schumer: yes – Putin is a schoolyard bully

Gregory: tell me more

Schumer: I learned in Brooklyn
when you stand up to a bully
they immediately back down

Gregory: I love it

Schumer: we should tell Europe
to stop being like Neville Chamberlain
in 1938 and appeasing Putin and
get tough with Putin

Gregory: what would you suggest?

Schumer: we should get tough with Putin
take away the World Cup

Gregory: that's it?

Schumer: everyone loves soccer Fluffy

Gregory: thanks for coming Chuck

[ break ]

Gregory: welcome Paul Ryan

Ryan: Hi Fluffy

Gregory: Congress is going
on vacation without doing
anything all year

Ryan: hey we passed 300 bills
but the Senate gives the
Usurper a free hand

Gregory: what is you opinion of 
these of little immigrant children

Ryan: we need to repeal the
law that gives them a hearing
it's outrageous

Gregory: you voted for that law

Ryan: I never meant for it to
be applied to these horrid children

Gregory: Congress gets getting
nothing done while veterans languish

Ryan: that's the Senate's fault

Gregory: you want to let states take
over federal anti poverty programs

Ryan: yes – they know what's best

Gregory: but some states won't
even expand Medicaid and that's free money

Ryan: we need to customize poverty
programs depending on the poor
person's specific pathology

Gregory: maybe we could do
the same with bank bailouts

Ryan: the best way to get people
out of poverty is to customize benefits

Gregory: you say we created
a dependency culture –
do you think poor people are lazy?

Ryan: oh no I love poor people

Gregory: you do?

Ryan: yes all those helpless
stupid poor people

Gregory: I see

Ryan: government discourages work
which is why people don't work
hard like people in Congress do

Gregory: thanks for coming Ryan

Ryan: thanks Gregory

[ break ]

Gregory: OMG the New York Times
called for legalizing the mary jane!!

Brooks: what are they smoking up there!

Marcus: they didn't inhale!

Gregory: ha ha 20 year old jokes are the best

Brooks: I don't endorse the pot 
what with all the kids and their 
tie-dyed shirts and the hippy dippynes

Gregory: well put David

Brooks: also kids should not
spend all their time getting high
and jumping out of windows
thinking they fly and all that stuff

Gregory: makes sense to me

Brooks: but I could be wrong

Marcus: forget pot – why is alcohol legal?!?

Gregory: good question

Marcus: pot causes you
to lose lose 8 IQ points

Gregory: I don't think our 
viewers can afford that

Marcus: so the whole panel agrees 
- we're all against pot and 
alcohol and for war

Gregory: well we're all conservatives here

Woodruff: what's the rush – get it 'rush'

Panel: ha ha ha

Brooks: I realize we have a culture
where people pursue happiness
and all that nonsense but I just
think government should be small 
and limited to making all your 
choices for you in everyday life

Gregory: panel the world is going
to hell and I'm concerned America
can't control the planet

Panel: oh definitely

Gregory: you heard Chuck Schumer
say America can't even win a 
war against Russia!

Marcus: we must not withdraw from the world!

Gregory: Obama is weak!

Talking Parrot: Obama weak!

Gregory: good point TP

Brooks: America kept the peace for
40 years by fighting wars every
five years and now we don't fight
little wars and the world is is in chaos

Henderson: oh for god's sake
the U.S. never made Russia
bend to its will

O'Donnell: why does nothing ever
get done in the Senate?

Cruz: because Harry Reid won't let
me cut taxes and eliminate the EPA

Gregory: Harry Reid is like Dikembe
Mutumbo – no no no

Marcus: that's chutzpah –
he's the one who had all-night
filibuster to block a law everyone
knew would pass

Gregory: both sides are to blame

Brooks: I blame the stupid American
people for not reading my column more

Woodruff: Congress has accomplished
nothing all year and now are going on vacation

Gregory: members of Congress
are rewarded for screwing veterans

Henderson: can you run for office
saying 'I will get nothing done'?

[ break ]

Gregory: OMG Obamacare is doomed!

Gregory: Vermont is turning socialist
Kevin has the story

Tibbles: Vermont is going to giving
everyone free health care

Citizen: it's crazy!

Tibbles: is Canada infecting
Vermont with its wild ideas
about universal health care?

Citizen: damn right – Canada
is right over there!
[ points 10 feet away ]

Citizen: I am frightened – it will
bankrupt the state and everyone
will move out of Vermont if they
offer free health care

Citizen: it's a little scary but
I think it's worth trying

Citizen: if politics gets in the
way it would be bad

[ break ]

Gregory: update – the UN disputes
the video we showed earlier

Gregory: panel is America about to legalize pot?

Brooks: maybe but public
drunkeness is now frowned up

Gregory: true in Washington you're
supposed to get drunk in private

Gregory: and that's another
episode of Meet The Press


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

A shame that from states like NY and California, we get corrupt Wall Street whores and war-monger Senators like Chuck Schumer and Diannnne Feinstein.

Meanwhile, Texas gives us the likes of Jon Cornyn and Ted Cruz.

No wonder things keep getting worse for everyone but the richest few.

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