Tony Blinken (Deputy National Security Advisor)
Rep. Peter King (R-NY)
Rep. Karen Bass (D-CA)
Gregory: Tom what's up with the
Malaysian plane crash?
Costello: the FBI is investigating every
passenger for terrorist connections
Costello: there were three
Americans on board
Gregory: oh no!
Costello: we have no idea what
happened or where the plane is
Gregory: could this be terrorism?
– please say yes
Blinken: the FBI is on this David
Gregory: but the stolen passports!
Blinken: that could be anything
Gregory: how come Obama can't
tell Vladimir Putin what to do?
Blinken: maybe because Putin
is the leader of another country
Gregory: that's a poor excuse
Blinken: well it's true Fluffy
Gregory: but all world leaders
should do whatever the American
President tells them to do
Blinken: that's crazy
Gregory: he's not listening!
Blinken: neither are you
Gregory: Putin is not heeding us!
Blinken: Putin is the leader of
Russia – not Obama's child
Gregory: that's different –
my kids never do what I
tell them to do
Blinken: tell me about it
Gregory: Russia is threatening
not to inspect nuclear weapons
Blinken: that would be nuts
Gregory: what if Russia annexes Crimea?
Blinken: that would be a
bullshit move Fluffy
Gregory: but would we attack?
Blinken: Putin is terrified that
Obama was taking Ukraine
away from him – he's weak
Gregory: no Obama is weak!
Blinken: I reject that Greggers
Gregory: well are you going
to start a war or not?
Blinken: no we're not stupid
Gregory: well then you suck
Blinken: Obama is leading an international
effort to solve this so everyone wins
Gregory: that's just boring
[ break ]
Gregory: Peter King how can
we stop Putin in his tracks?
King: we need to seize the assets of oligarchs
and have tough ironclad sanctions
Gregory: what about giving
away lots of natural gas?
King: good idea - America has an
endless supply of hot gas
Gregory: I know you well –
you must think the Malaysia
plane crash is terrorism
King: it's almost certainly terrorism
Gregory: I knew it!
King: Malaysia is a hotbed of Al-Qaeda
Gregory: that's so scary
King: it's terrifying
Gregory: when I first heard about
this I asked myself why didn't
the passport machine go ping
King: who the hell knows what
goes on in a place like Malaysia
Gregory: you used to hate Rand
Paul's guts but now everyone loves him
King: not me – he's a total nut!
Gregory: do tell
King: he bashes America
as a imperial power!
Gregory: go on
King: he's like the isolationist
nazi-appeasing Charles Lindbergh
Gregory: thanks for coming Pete
[ break ]
Gregory: your eminence thank you
for inviting me into your lavish home
Dolan: welcome David
Gregory: the Pope is a rock star
Dolan: he knows how to use
audio visual aides
Gregory: he's stirring the masses
with confusing questions
Dolan: he's shrewd – he makes you think
Gregory: but political conservatives
are upset that the Pope doesn't
hate gay people enough
Dolan: I think political conservatives like him
Gregory: well clearly I know political
conservatives better than you do
Dolan: 'Pontiff' is Latin for 'bridge builder'
Gregory: 'Christie' is Greek for bridge shutdowner
Dolan: good one Fluffy
Gregory: the Pope is changing the
church with women and gays
and divorce and all that terrible stuff
Dolan: the Pope wants people
to think for themselves
Gregory: aha he does hate conservatives
Gregory: what about gay civil unions?
Dolan: the Pope just said lets
not hate gay people
Gregory: do you support gay civil unions?
Dolan: not just as a Catholic –
as a citizen I believe gay people hurt America
Gregory: the church covered up
child molesting for years –
should the church do more?
Dolan: sure there was a coverup but
why is the Church singled out for criticism?
Gregory: will the Pope meet with victims?
Dolan: I bet he does –
even Benedict and I both did
Gregory: Rush Limbaugh
called the Pope a marxist
Dolan: I don't put too much
stock in what the idiot says
Gregory: I like him
Dolan: we're concerned about
communism and unfettered capitalism
Gregory: but we don't have an
income inequality problem we
just need to cut taxes and create jobs
Dolan: I'm not an economist Fluffy
Gregory: should the government force
people to bake a cake for gay people?
Dolan: no because freedom of religion
Gregory: we may have a gay NFL
football player – does that offend you?
Dolan: god bless him –
bravo I say!
and that's okay
bravo I say!
Gregory: you think the Church
is being out-marketed
Dolan: the goal of the Church is
to sell the bad news – that your behavior
is sending you straight to hell
Gregory: because of sex
Dolan: also rich people can't get into heaven
Gregory: [ spit take ] what!?!
Dolan: see – no wonder people hate us
Gregory: I see your point
Dolan: we have to be less shrill
and more like a loving nagging mother
Gregory: what must the Pope
do to save the Church?
Dolan: Three words:
Intrigue. Mystery. Romance.
Gregory: I love it
[ break ]
Gregory: panel CPAC was this week
and it's so much fun - its the
Oscars of crazy politicians
Reed: the activists want a real
conservative – not some lobbyist sellout
Gregory: good insight Ralph
Reed: Beltway types don't want
talk about how abortion is murder
Fournier: I am very interested
in expanding the GOP
Bass: they're turning everyone off
Mitchell: Rand Paul is the only
one reaching out to kids under 60
Mitchell: Jeb Bush can save the party!
Fournier: millennials hate Obama
for inventing spying
Reed: millennials want to ban abortion
Reed: the GOP has to be like Pope Francis
– say they care about the poor
Bass: look at Republican budgets
– they seem to hate poor people
Gregory: no Karen they hate big government
Reed: no fair – the GOP wants to
cut taxes for poor people
Gregory: is Chris Christie finished?
Fournier: his selling point was
that he was a good manager
and bipartisan and that's been tarnished
Fournier: but once the media catches you
being corrupt conservatives love you
Gregory: [ laughing ] how does
America make Putin stop!
Mitchell: Obama can't!
Gregory: so weak!
Mitchell: Germany won't even
help us go after Putin!
Gregory: is Obama playing this right?
Bass: he is a strong leader
Fournier: Obama and Bush
were naive about Putin
Fournier: the NSA and CIA
should spy more and spy less
Gregory: Nancy you're in Lebanon
in a camp for refugees from Syria
Snyderman: this is a major health crisis
Gregory: okay back to our roundtable
which is live tweeting during the show!
Gregory: Congresswoman is
John McCain right about Syria?
Bass: if it was up to John McCain
we'd have troops on the ground
in about 15 countries
Gregory: Ralph you tweeted that
Putin is laughing at America?
Reed: I admit Obama has no
good choices but he must
project strength which will solve everything
Mitchell: Businesses don't want
to isolate Russia – it's outrageous
Gregory: I tweeted that the Pope
changed the judgmental tone of the Church
Fournier: the GOP should try that
Gregory: and that's another