Meet The Press – December 9, 2012

Guests:

Sen. Richard Durbin (D-IL)

Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-CA)

Richard Engel

Jeffrey Goldberg

Helene Cooper

Juliana Goldman

Newt Gingrich

Lawrence O'Donnell

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Gregory: holy crap the fiscal cliff is

looming and Obama wants to attack Syria!

Engel: Assad is a violent lunatic who

might use nerve gas on rebels

Gregory: whoa

Engel: the rebels are not convinced

Obama is really ready to start another war

Gregory: oh my

Engel: the rebels can't deliver a 

knockout blowunless the plans for 

the Death Star are discovered

Gregory: would Obama launch a war

if Assad used chemical weapons?

Goldberg: the Obama Doctrine is

stand and watch a civil war unfold

Cooper: Obama doesn't want to get

involved in Syria which would be

Iraq-on-steroids

Goldberg: yes but lots of people have been

killed and Obama did nothing –

it's murder and America should attack!

Gregory: Egypt is coming apart

Goldberg: Obama is in bed with

Mubarak with a beard

[ break ]

Gregory: OMG the fiscal cliff is coming!!

Audience: woot

Gregory: why not raise tax rates

and accept cuts to Medicaid

McCarthy: we offered revenues

and Obama said no

Gregory: you agreed to higher

tax rates on the rich?

McCarthy: no we agreed to closing

loopholes which we won't name

Durbin: I can't believe they are

still fighting for tax cuts for

the richest people – sheesh

Gregory: let's just close loopholes

and not raise my taxes

Durbin: sorry Fluffy no deal

McCarthy: did you know Obama

invented the idea of debt?

Gregory: no I did not

McCarthy: also no one ever spent

money before Obama came along

Gregory: wow

McCarthy: the economy is recovering and

Obama has proposed more stimulus !

Durbin: the economy is recovering

because of the Obama stimulus!

Gregory: why the objection to raising

taxes on billionaires?

McCarthy: because loopholes like home

mortgage deduction are only for privileged

rich people with lawyers

Gregory: why not cut Medicare right now

Durbin: Fluffy Medicare will run

out of money in 12 years

Gregory: so I'm right

Durbin: no because we must slash

Medicare through the Committee Process

Gregory: that is wise

Durbin: the GOP is fracturing because the

American people have spoken –

they want new taxes on the rich

McCarthy: is it really fair that poor small

businesses should pay 55% in taxes?

Durbin: what an idiot

Gregory: should we raise the Medicare age?

Durbin: if so what do we do with old

people without health insurance?

Gregory: ice floe?

McCarthy: Republicans have already

offered fake revenues!

Greg: he's got you there

McCarthy: we need what happened with

Reagan and Tip O'Neil and Clinton and

Newt Gingrich which is they negotiation and

Republicans got what they wanted

Gregory: would Obama really go

over the cliff?

Durbin: why not – the GOP keeps

threatening to default on our debt

Gregory: what about gay marriage?

McCarthy: those people are so icky

Durbin: marriage equality is the

future of America – we're all gay now!

McCarthy: but not openly!

Gregory: what about Susan Rice?

Durbin: I hope Obama nominates her just to help

John McCain look even more foolish

Gregory: a great man like him 
doesn't need your help

Durbin: good point

[ break ]

Gregory: wow Hillary Clinton could run

for President in 2016! People are buzzing!!

Audience: wheee

Gregory: Republicans are willing to raise

taxes if they can cut Medicare

Gingrich: yes but Obama won the election

because I was not the nominee –

now Republicans must suffer the

consequences for not choosing me

O'Donnell: Republicans believe that raising

taxes cost jobs but the Clinton years were

great and I am still waiting for Gingrich's apology

Gingrich: Republicans alone caused the

economic boom of the 1990s!

Woodward: thank god Obama is finally

meeting with CEOs who may talk sense

to House Republicans

Goldman: Obama finally brought a

gun to a knifefight

Gregory: holy crap – is Obama really willing to

go off the cliff just because Republicans

would get all the blame?

Cooper: yes – the White House has so much

testosterone right now pregnant women

and children are are not allowed in

Gregory: Obama is acting like he

won the Presidency and stuff

O'Donnell: there is a deal –

the fiscal cliff is the deal!

Gregory: good point

O'Donnell: Democrats like the

results of the fiscal cliff

Gregory: that is true

Gingrich: who blinks first will

define the next four years

Woodward: that is true but on the

other hand I don't like Obama

Gregory: Obama could muscle concessions

through but the GOP could threaten to

destroy America later

Goldman: if so we're screwed

O'Donnell: look no one believes for a minute

that we will stay off the fiscal cliff dumbasses

Gingrich: I would like to point out

that if I were President we would be

living in a bipartisan paradise

Gregory: good point Newtie

Cooper: Obama will own a fiscal cliff recession

Woodward: Obama has miscalculated by

promising to raise taxes on the rich because

he must know the Wall Street Journal will

write editorials against it and therefore

it is not allowed to happen

Gregory: omg the Supreme Court will decide

if gays are people like everyone else or are

too icky to be equal under the law

Gingrich: what if gays visit a normal state

where married people have extra-marital

affairs with other sexes like god intended?

O'Donnell: it doesn't matter –

gay rights are here to stay

Gregory: Hillary Clinton –

she's so hot right now

Woodward: she's got the perfect resume

and younger than Reagan was in 1980

who was 95 years old if I recall correctly

Cooper: Hillary rules!

Goldman: Republicans love her too –

if she runs she clears the field

O'Donnell: she's running – trust me

Gingrich: Bill Clinton destroyed me

so I fear them still

Woodward: she said 1992 was Bill's moment

and she was right

Gregory: Jim DeMint quit –

is the Tea Party out?

Gingrich: if Hillary runs in 2016 backed

by Bill Clinton and Obama well then Republicans

might was well concede the election now

Gregory: oh wow

Gingrich: it was not just a failure to

nominate me – sadly the GOP also has no

fucking clue about the real people of America

Woodward: don't count out the Republican Party

– look at Richard Nixon!

Gregory: I love me some Chris Christie!

Cooper: he was funny on Saturday Night Live

but why the fuck are talking about 2016 now

O'Donnell: he's a jerk

Woodward: that's what I like about him

Goldman: watch out for Paul Ryan

Gingrich: Rick Perry is a smart guy

Gregory: [ snort ]

Woodward: Newt Gingrich 2016!

Gregory: and that's another 
episode of Meet The Press

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