Sunday, December 02, 2012

Meet The Press - December 2, 2012

Sec. Tim Geithner (Treasury)
Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-MO)
Sen. Bob Corker (R-TN)
Rep. Chris Van Hollen (D-MD)
Grover Norquist
Maria Baritromo
Jim Cramer
Gregory: good morning Tim

Geithner: hi David

Gregory: the GOP laughed at your
proposal to avert the fiscal cliff

Geithner: Republicans can such assholes

Gregory: will you make a deal before
the world comes to an end?

Geithner: yes or we will all be run out
of town with torches and pitchforks

Gregory: Republicans are willing to concede a lot

Geithner: really?

Gregory: they offered to cut my taxes

Geithner: well good for you Fluffy

Gregory: they are awesome

Geithner: so I've heard

Gregory: has anything changed in Washington?

Geithner: oh sure

Gregory: but it looks like the GOP
and Dems are digging in as usual

Geithner: yes but Republicans no
longer give me a wedgies in the
Rayburn hallway

Gregory: but you proposed more tax increases
than cuts in spending so you are in the wrong

Geithner: you are such a silly person

Gregory: what spending are you willing to cut?

Geithner: we are willing to cut health
care subsidies for very rich people

Gregory: that hurts

Geithner: we can't guess what Republicans want

Gregory: they want tax cuts for rich people

Geithner: I want to hear a Republican say it

Gregory: I just told you Timmy

Geithner: doesn't count

Gregory: you don't really want to
raise taxes to the Clinton era do you
I mean that was conficatory

Geithner: yes we do actually

Gregory: Oh my god my third beach house!

Geithner: so sad fluffers

Gregory: you want to take away Congress'
ability to default on the debt

Geithner: we can't let Congress
threaten to default just to get what they want

Gregory: Democrats have done it too

Geithner: well fine then it's not partisan issue

Gregory: it's still a totalitarian power grab

Geithner: it's a Republican idea

Gregory: well then I guess it's okay

Gregory: say Timerous what pain are
you willing to inflict on Americans?

Geithner: haven't they suffered enough?

Gregory: not as far as I'm concerned

Geithner: okay how about farm subsidies?

Gregory: how about defense cuts?

Geithner: all right one fewer nuke per year

Gregory: what else?

Geithner: hey how about Republicans
make some proposals?

Gregory: is it really far to make
Republicans say what they stand for?

Geithner: I'm not a mind reader
like the Amazing Danskin

Gregory: you're Secretary of Treasury
and economic growth is slow

Geithner: there's a drought did you know that

Gregory: we just had a hurricane and epic floods

Geithner: Allah hates us

Gregory: Vishnu too

Geithner: you see what I have to deal with?

Gregory: would going off the
cliff wreck America?

Geithner: yes but the GOP says it
would worth it to cut taxes for Paris Hilton

Gregory: Obama says Republicans
will ruin Christmas

Geithner: true but they will ruin New Year's
just to give more money for billionaires

Gregory: what will Obama concede?

Geithner: he's willing to meet with
John Boehner in person

Gregory: Grover are tax rates going
to have to go up?

Norquist: Republicans must not
think impure thoughts

Gregory: are low taxes for
the rich that important

Norquist: it's the only thing that matters

Gregory: makes sense

Norquist: we must have hidden cameras
in the room so we can all watch

Van Hollen: Obama wants to keep tax cuts
for the first $250,000 and the GOP refuse
to cooperate unless they also get tax
cuts for the next dollar

Bartiromo: the markets expect a deal
and if they don't investors will sell
their stocks and buy gold,
gasoline and canned soup

Cramer: if there is no deal companies
will start firing people in January

Gregory: Grover I think Obama is
planning to let his followers down
at least I hope

Norquist: maybe so but Obama
is still a communist

Gregory: how so?

Norquist: Obama wants to take
away your wheelchairs

Van Hollen: who invited this utter weirdo?

Norquist: Obama hates cripples and orphans!

Van Hollen: you're a right looney

Gregory: Claire speak some sweet
bipartsianship to me

McCaskill: there will be pain

Gregory: oh oh oh my god

McCaskill: the GOP are willing to wreck
everything just for tax cuts for the rich

Gregory: but Lindsay Graham
says no to more taxes

Corker: the GOP has put revenues on the table

Gregory: what does that mean

Corker: closing loopholes

Gregory: okay

Gregory: why not raise marginal
rates a little tiny bit

Corker: because that's heresy

McCaskill: Hello? McFly?!? The Bush tax cuts
are going to expire anyway!

Gregory: she's got you there Bob

McCaskill: also the last time we did
raised taxes it was raining jobs

Gregory: not raining men?

McCaskill: sadly for me and Lindsay Graham no   

Gregory: but that doesn't count because
no Republicans voted for it

McCaskill: oh for petey's sake fluffernutter

Gregory: Bob the Pain Ball is in the GOP Court

Corker: most Americans don't realize Obama
has sadly not promised to destroy Medicare

Gregory: Romney ran against Obama
for cutting Medicare!

Corker: who?

Gregory: Mitt Romney - 
your nominee for President

Corker: never heard of him

Gregory: well he did

Corker: Obama is very immature
for complaining about our demagogery

Gregory: I see

Corker: let's be grownups and acknowledge
that we will always lie about Medicare

Gregory: that's crazy

McCaskill: Paul Ryan had the same cuts!

Corker: well that is true

Gregory: tax cuts for the rich are
like benefits for the poor aren't they

McCaskill: yes we should means-test entitlements

Gregory: woot

McCaskill: I feel sorry for John Boehner

Gregory: the Orange-American community
has been through so much

McCaskill: out of curiosity who gives a
flying fuck what Grover Norquist thinks

Gregory: I care

McCaskill: okay David

Gregory: Claire what pain are willing to inflict?

McCaskill: we are willing to cut
farm subsidies to big agribusiness

Corker: Obama must agree to
eliminate Social Security

Gregory: Bob you signed Grover Norquist's pledge

Corker: yes but that was before I
found out he's certifiable

Gregory: will you vote for Susan Rice

Corker: she is a political operative unlike
someone totally apolitical like Codi Rice

McCaskill: what the GOP is doing to
Dr. Rice is shamefule and insane

Gregory: you think Obama should
take on this fight

McCaskill: these dudes all have man-crush
on their hero David Petraeus well guess
what boys – he screwed up

Gregory: Grover all Washington D.C.
politicians are a falling over themselves
to throw you under the bus

Norquist: Obama is seducing Republicans

Gregory: you have a tendency to use sexual imagery

Norquist: blow me – I mean that

Cramer: and people think I'm cuckoo

Van Hollen: is it really so terrible to
raise taxes on billionaires?

Norquist: oh my stars yes

Van Hollen: Obama has proposed more
cuts in Medicare than Paul Ryan!

Bartiromo: I speak for the American
people and they really want to cut
Medicare Medicaid and Social Security

Gregory: of course

Bartiromo: also if we raises taxes on capital gains
it will basically destroy America for all time

Gregory: Jim what is the feedback from rich people?

Cramer: most CEOs hate Norquist's guts
and support Obama's compromise

Bartiromo: that is true – CEOs just want
a damn deal and fear Grover's insanity

Norquist: when Obama and I were
neogtiating two years ago-

Gregory: um what

Norquist: Obama is threatening to 
shoot the hostages!

Van Hollen: let me say it one more time –
the GOP is threatening massive defense cuts
and tax hikes on everyone else to preserve
tax cuts for billionaires

Cramer: hey psycho would you cause a
recession just to cut taxes for the rich?

Norquist: cutting taxes causes economic growth
as proved in the book of Saint Reagan

Cramer: Clinton raised taxes and did much better

Bartiromo: that doesn't count because of the Internet

Norquist: Obama seduces people

Cramer: you talk like a cheap pornographer

Van Hollen: also Republicans want to raise
the payroll tax which would be disastrous

Gregory: Grover ultimately what will
you agree to in your negotiations with Obama?

Norquist: it depends on what he gives me

Gregory: what do you want?

Norquist: I want him to seduce me
and I want cameras to film it

Gregory: and that's another episode
of Meet The Press



MikeA said...

This episode - Meet the Press December 2 - is not visible on IE version 8. The bug is in line 402 of the HTML - an end of comment tag in the code, which should be "dash dash greater-than-sign" is instead downloading as "dash dash ampersand gt semicolon" This fools IE 8 to comment out the entire entry. So the November 18 post appears under the December 2 header, fooling the reader.

MikeA said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

"Gregory: and that's another episode
of Meet The Press"

Gangnam Style

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