Sunday, September 30, 2012

Meet The Press - September 30, 2012

Gov. Chris Christie (R-NJ)
David Plouffe (Obama 2012)
Ed Rendell
Ralph Reed
Katty Kay
Chuck Todd
Richard Engel

Gregory: Romney is recalibrating!

Audience: woot

Gregory: welcome Governor Christie

Chrstie: thanks Fluffy

Gregory: Governor Obama is leading in
every swing state

Christie: yes but the debates will
be Romney Rebooted

Gregory: isn’t it a little late to
restart a campaign?

Christie: no because most Americans
are totally clueless

Gregory: I can’t argue with that

Christie: it’s true

Gregory: Charles Krauthammer
wants Romney to Go Large

Christie: Romney is going to lay out
a vision for the first time on Wednesday night

Gregory: will Romney finally tell us all
his secret plan on taxes?

Christie: Obama hasn’t cut the debt!

Gregory: answer the question

Christie: look Romney is not an accountant

Gregory: clearly - he’s rich

Christie: zinger!

Gregory: so your approach is to offer
no specifics beyond ‘Obama Bad’

Christie: the President is just offering platitudes

Gregory: what else

Christie: Romeny will lay out specifics
in the next 46 days

Gregory: the election is in 37 days

Christie: well then that’s perfect

Gregory: Obama says Romney thinks
America’s veterans are victims who
will vote for Obama and won’t take
responsibility for their lives

Christie: look I spoke to Romney about
this and he thinks that poor people should
pay more in taxes so they have skin in the game

Gregory: I like it

Christie: Romney isn’t offering a lot of happy talk

Gregory: true enough

Christie: we have big problems

Gregory: Romney wrecked his campaign
with that idiotic comment

Christie: no he didn’t - after all poor
people really are lazy

Gregory: that's true

Christie: Romney will turn this around
next week dammit!

Gregory: We all want to cut the debt
but Mitt wants to cut more taxes
and raise defense spending

Christie: I agree with you that Obama
is a bad man

Gregory: I love Simpson-Bowles!

Christie: so vote for Mitt

Gregory: will he raise taxes which is
necessary to worship at the altar
of Simpson Bowles

Christie: first we must cut spending a lot

Gregory: ok but then we can we raise taxes

Christie: no

Gregory: you disappoint me

Christie: get Obama to endorse
Simpson-Bowles Fluffy

Gregory: believe me I’ve tried

Gregory: Politico says your convention
speech was a total dud and belly flop

Christie: who cares - Mitt Romney will
be elected in 2012 and 2016

Gregory: go on

Christie: also Politico is full of idiots

Gregory: Thanks for coming big guy

[ break ]

Gregory: you heard Christie

Plouffe: they’re setting the bar pretty
high for Mittimus

Gregory: they’re going all in on
Wednesday night

Plouffe: he’s going to put on a big show
- he’s practiced zingers apparently

Gregory: what is the President doing?

Plouffe: he’s not practicing funny lines
- he’s going to explain that Mitt Romney
hates the middle class and there’s
nothing funny about that

Gregory: is this race over?

Plouffe: no because the media is desperate
for a Romney comeback

Gregory: Susan Rice said the best
evidence we had at the time was
the attack on the embassy in Libya
was initially a spontaneous attack but
now it may have been a 9/11 terror attack

Plouffe: indeed - intelligence has improved
in the days that followed

Gregory: yes but you must get it exactly
right on the day that it happened

Plouffe: but it wasn’t clear at the time

Gregory: but why not call it terrorism
and then take it back later it you’re wrong

Plouffe: I suppose we could do that -
if we were idiots

Gregory: Obama said al-qaeda was defeated
that’s why he didn’t want to admit it was
an attack in Libya

Plouffe: that’s stupid even for you Fluffy

Gregory: was it an intelligence failure?

Plouffe: no they got it right

Gregory: but not in the first 24 hours

Plouffe: oh for pete’s sake

Gregory: what is America doing to
work its will in Libya

Plouffe: you mean aside from overthrowing
the dictator Muammar Qadaffi?

Gregory: was it wrong for Obama to run
for reelection while a war was going on

Plouffe: that’s ridiculous

Gregory: but Obama went on The View
instead of meeting with my friend Bibi

Plouffe: he calls or texts Bibi every day

Gregory: that’s a great relief

Plouffe: also he killed bin Laden

Gregory: oh really?

Plouffe: Mitt Romney acted like
a total jackass during the Libya incident

Gregory: Obama never talks about
cutting Medicare - does he hate America?

Plouffe: um what

Gregory: Obama claims do be an American
patriot but he never asks poor people
to sacrifice their lives

Plouffe: are you on drugs

Gregory: that’s not the point

Plouffe: Obama has proposed a $4 trillion
in debt cuts but Romney would add
$8 trillion to the debt unless he’s going
put the burden on the middle class

Gregory: will Obama come on my show please

Plouffe: we’ll see Fluffy

[ break ]

Gregory: how is the election going Chuckie

Todd: Romney is widely disliked and
now Obama leads on who would be
better on the economy

Gregory: oh boy

Todd: Romney can still win but he’d better
turn it around this week

Reed: Obama is going to lose!

Gregory: oh

Reed: remember at this point in 2000
Al Gore was leading but in the end he
only won by 5 million votes

Gregory: good point Ralph

Reed: Ronald Reagan was losing
to Jimmy Carter but he pulled it
out in the end - surprise!

Gregory: but Mitt Romney is no
Ronald Reagan is he?

Rendell: no but a challenger usually
does well after debates

Gregory: Krauthammer says Romney
should attack the welfare state

Kay: the Romney campaign just seizes
on tiny issues trying to win news
cycles and the result is they keep
losing news cycles

Todd: also their tactics are terrible
and Romney is giving every impression
that he’s an idiot

Reed: I have Charles Krauthammer on
my Sociopath Fantasy Team but to be fair
Obama is a ruthlessly brilliant politician

Gregory: but what about connecting
to people like me - he just said rich
people shouldn’t expect a big tax cut

Rendell: I could have gotten him elected
- he was a good governor after all

Gregory: no doubt

Rendell: also Obama isn’t that great

Kay: Romney should have run as a
Mormon who gave people health care

Reed: sweet jesus

Todd: um newsflash - the RMS Romney is sinking

Reed: Romney is going to offer a
devastating critique of Obama’s
failed leadership!

Gregory: bash Obama for me

Reed: Obama is bright and articulate
and flowery and will tickle your ears
but he’s a big liar

Gregory: how so

Reed: he said he would make
Washington a happy place and yet
Republicans still hate Obama with
a passion - what a liar!

Gregory: I love how weird you are Ralph

Reed: There is a painting of my in my attic
which is aging and also has ethics

Gregory: talk to me about debating style

Kay: Romney is gangnam-style

Todd: Obama is Chicago Manual of Style

Kay: unfortunately for Mitt people
are more optimistic they’ve been in years

Gregory: what would you ask the candidates

Rendell: I would ask how do we invest
in America and cut the debt

Gregory: Obama played it safe in 2008
Debates sitting on his big lead
over Saint McCain

Todd: he’s not going to play it safe -
he’s going to get under Romney’s skin

Gregory: really?!

Todd: Obama is going to be aggressive
- bank on it

Reed: Romney has to speak for the
millions of people are suffering and
unemployed even though they are lazy
and irresponsible

Gregory: Richard what’s going on in Afghanistan

Engel: an Afghan soldier shot an America
soldier which happens all the time

Gregory: how does America work its will in Libya

Engel: the whole country is full of armed militias

Gregory: a well-armed militia is necessary
to the security of free state

Engel: Libya is actually a nice place with lots of oil

Gregory:  I love it then

Gregory: Katty please bash Obama for me

Kay: oh just stop it Fluffers

Gregory: I got a tweet about Simpson-Bowles
- I may have died and gone to heaven!

Kay: oh god

Gregory: and that’s another
episode of Meet The Press



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