David Axelrod - Presidential advisor
Sen. Mitch McConnell - (R-KY)
Amanpour: can you keep Middle East peace
Axelrod: we’re going to urge them to keep trying
Amanpour: that doesn’t sound too promising
Axelrod: hey it’s Israel and Palestine you trying getting those lunkheads to agree on anything
Amanpour: could there be a war?
Axelrod: you never know Christiane
Amanpour: everyone is talking about this famous woman who said she is exhausted of defending Obama and is not happy
Axelrod: well she’s right - the middle class got hammered all through the last 10 years and it
ended with a Great Recession
Amanpour: why do people seem to dislike Obama
Axelrod: Because we’re still in a really bad economy - I mean really fucking bad
Amanpour: Bill Clinton says Obama should ask for
two more years and them admit failure
Axelrod: well he’s right that electing the GOP would finally push America off the edge
Amanpour: for the love of god why did Congress put off cutting taxes before the election - are you stupid or insane?
Axelrod: those mean Republicans are holding Obama hostage
Amanpour: that’s quite a metaphor
Axelrod: no he’s actually being held hostage - they’ve asked for piazzas and a negotiating team
Amanpour: If you can’t get it done now how can it be done after you lose the election
Axelrod: we’re playing chicken with Mitch McConnell and we like our odds
Amanpour: Gen. Petraeus called you a ‘spin doctor’
Axelrod: I was in the that band in 1993 and wrote “Two Princes”
Amanpour: oh I didn’t know that
Axelrod: [ plays air guitar ]
Amanpour: Is Rahm finally getting the fuck out?
Axelrod: yeah thank god
[ break ]
Amanpour: Greetings crazy man are you really going to borrow more money just give it to billionaires?
McConnell: you can’t raise taxes in a recession!
Amanpour: will you hold the middle taxes hostage
to that nutty idea
McConnell: Chris it’s not me - it’s Blue Dogs who won’t even let a bill come to the floor
Amanpour: if you do that if you ever want to cut the debt you would have eliminate all of government
McConnell: cut taxes for the rich and the economy will explode
Amanpour: but that’s not about what you would cut
McConnell: well the Catfood Commission may give us permission to cut Social Security
Amanpour: Erik Erikson hates your Pledge to America
McConnell: [ laughs ]
Amanpour: why are you laughing?
McConnell: he’s an damn idiot
Amanpour: but can you satisfy the Tea Party?
McConnell: The Democrats have been in charge of the government for a year and half and we know that all the Tea Partiers will vote Republican
Amanpour: But the Tea Partiers claim to hate both parties equally
McConnell: [ snorts ]
Amanpour: you nominated a lunatic for the Senate
McConnell: she’s an adorable little freak
Amanpour: how is she qualified?
McConnell: she won a primary and that’s enough
Amanpour: Sharron Angle thinks we need an armed rebellion - isn’t that bizarre?
McConnell: no what is freaky and bizarre is aiding auto companies and fixing student loans
Amanpour: oh I see - you’re as crazy as she is
McConnell: I never dabbled in witchcraft although I was loyal servant to Lord Voldemort
Amanpour: but if these people are elected our country will go to hell
McConnell: no Obama will still be there thankfully
Amanpour: of course
[ break ]
Amanpour: Queen tell me about Middle East peace
Raina: I’m not saying that the middle east is all rainbows and gumdrops but the explosive situation with the Palestinians and Israel sure doesn’t damn well help
Amanpour: I hear you your majesty
Raina: both sides need hope and change
Amanpour: uh oh
Raina: look people may not like Obama but he’s miles better than Chicken Caesar
Amanpour: what about the 9/11 mosque
Raina: those are the good muslims
Amanpour: do you worry that people think Osama bin Laden represents all muslims?
Raina: right it’s crazy - people around the world think of America as a beacon of freedom - or we used to
Amanpour: But why do people think muslims
Raina: We need to do a better job showing there are bad ones as well as happy peaceful muslims just like with other religions whether it’s Christianity, Judaism, Catholicism or The Force
Amanpour: Anakin doesn’t represent all Jedi
Amanpour: Does Islam disempower women?
Raina: Yes - women are graduating from university but they can’t get jobs because of thick-headed men - although that’s not Islam it’s just assholes
Amanpour: oh yeah we those everywhere
[ high fives Raina ]