Sunday, September 19, 2010

This Week - September 19, 2010

Hillary Clinton - U.S. Secretary of State
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad - President of Iran
Amanpour: Hillary Bibi and Abbas are stubborn - can you make peace in the Middle East ?

Clinton: I’ve dealt with men acting like
jackasses before

Amanpour: what about the settlements?

Clinton: We’re leaning on Bibi

Amanpour: what are you doing

Clinton: we threatened to send Joe Biden to Israel

Amanpour: who is making the biggest leap of heart?

Clinton: Israel is threatened by Iran and the Palestinians are threatened by Israel so it
all works out

Amanpour: are you going to get Abbas on board?

Clinton: sure Obama called him and offered him a luxury box to all games at the new
Giants/Jets stadium

Amanpour: you’ll start a war

Amanpour: what about Lieberman?

Clinton: he’s a touchy lunatic with too
much power in the Senate

Amanpour: I meant Avigdor

Clinton: Oh him too
Amanpour: Is Iran going to build a nuke?

Clinton: they’re very scary

Amanpour: are they morphing into a dictatorship?

Clinton: that was the worst election since the
Florida Brooks Brothers Riot

Amanpour: what about human rights in Iran?

Clinton: when Obama came into office he extended his hand to the religious zealots and political
crazies and it’s clear they are not interested in rational dialogue

Amanpour: we’ll get to the Republicans later

Amanpour: progressives still aren’t sure Obama is on their side since you send so many mixed signals

Clinton: are we talking about the U.S. or Iran?

Amanpour: either one

Amanpour: Ahmadinejad says the sanctions are
as worthless as a used hankie

Clinton: the sanctions are like him - they’re a tool

[ break ]

Amanpour: you released one hiker but what about the others

Ahmadinejad what about all Iranians held by
the U.S. government

Amanpour: are you saying the hikers are only hostages?

Ahmadinejad: I prefer the term bargaining chips

Amanpour: their mothers are very upset

Ahmadinejad so is mine

Amanpour: how is your nuclear bomb going?

Ahmadinejad: we’ve got cameras everywhere
- our nuclear program is like a reality tv show

Amanpour: “The Real Leaders of Iran?”

Ahmadinejad: “Iran’s Got Nukes”

Amanpour: So You Think Can Fool the IAEA

Ahmadinejad: the IAEA is controlled by the U.S.

Amanpour: um yeah ok

Ahmadinejad: we take the sanctions seriously
but they are a joke

Amanpour: right

Ahmadinejad: those harsh sanctions will create
a new era of growth in our economy!

Amanpour: that’s not what I heard Mahmoud

Ahmadinejad: in six months we’ll turn it around

Amanpour: oh my god - a Friedman Unit

Amanpour: you’re going to stone someone to death - that’s fucking crazy

Ahmadinejad: well it’s just one woman what’s
the big deal

Amanpour: now you see why people don’t trust you with nuclear bombs

Ahmadinejad: she was never going to be stoned - it’s all made-up propaganda

Amanpour: is that so

Ahmadinejad: it’s the fault of the United States they’re always saying mean things about us

Amanpour: executions are up 400 percent

Ahmadinejad: I’m making a fascist omlette so I gotta crack a few eggs Christiane

Amanpour: are you going to prosecute your
political opponents

Ahmadinejad: no no those are all independent judges

Amanpour: you are an amazing liar

Ahmadinejad: thanks very much

Amanpour: Fidel Castro called you an anti-semitic whacko

Ahmadinejad: I defer to his big beard

Amanpour: why is Iran becoming so militarized?

Ahmadinejad: you mean like Iraq and Afghanistan?

Amanpour: Will you engage in talks with the U.S. government?

Ahmadinejad I friended Obama on Facebook but did he write back? No!

Amanpour: I’m sorry to hear that

Ahmadinejad : he won’t even follow me on twitter!

Amanpour: I’ll follow you mahmoud

Ahmadinejad: thnx chris ill follow U 2 LOL :)


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