Sunday, September 26, 2010

Meet The Press - September 26, 2010

Rep. Chris Van Hollen (D-MD)
Rep. Mike Pence (R-NV)
Arne Duncan (Sec. of Education)
Randi Weingarten (American Fed. Of Teachers)
Michelle Rhee (Chancellor DC Schools)
Robert Bobb (Manager Detroit schools)

Gregory: are you going to vote on taxes before the election - after all that’s a good way for people to judge whether they like what you’re doing -
to you know do something

Van Hollen: the GOP is holding tax cuts for the middle class hostage so they can give their rich friends a trillion dollars

Pence: there should be no higher taxes on anybody!

Gregory: I like it

Pence: the rich are the job creators - the peons should be grateful for the crumbs they get!

Gregory: you claim to care about the debt -
so how do you pay for tax cuts

Pence: fuck the debt - we need to cut taxes for billionaires now!

Van Hollen: we cut taxes for the rich 10 years ago and it ruined the economy

Gregory: [ sobs ]

Van Hollen: how the fuck does Price Waterhouse qualify as a small business??

Pence: he’s right about the Bush tax cuts causing a recession -- because they didn’t cut taxes enough!

Gregory: are you serious?

Pence: we can save 100 billion this year by cutting spending for Fannie Mae and TARP

Van Hollen: we tried to cut taxes for small business and the GOP said no

Pence: oh that was a long time ago

Van Hollen: it was last Thursday!

Gregory: Jon Stewart pointed out Republicans have no new ideas

Pence: we have brand new idea like ending bailouts for Wall Street

Gregory: Republicans are the ones who bailed
out Wall Street!

Pence: I know - but that was before

Gregory: TARP was temporary program put in by a Republican President - it’s like Al Gore running against blowjobs

Pence: that’s makes it new - in 2010 the GOP
pledges to undo what the GOP did in 2008!

Van Hollen: that’s fucking hilarious

Gregory: what’s ironic is Bush’s TARP probably saved the America financial system

Pence: we don’t want to talk about GOP failures of the past 25 years - this time we really really mean we’re going to be responsible with your money

Gregory: what painful choices are you prepared
to make?

Pence: eliminate Social Security for anybody
under 40

Gregory: it seems the Republicans have bad ideas but Democrats have no ideas

Van Hollen: not at all - we have exciting proposals like cracking down on weak Chinese currency

Gregory: man the barricades!

Pence: we’re going to end earmaking as we know it

Van Hollen: we’re going to end outsourcing as we know it

Gregory: you both present a compelling case
for not voting

[ break ]

Gregory: welcome back - the whole county is talking about the movie “Waiting For Superman” which points out what people already know which is that American schools suck

Duncan: we spent the last 25 years ignoring problems in schools

Gregory: so like every other aspect of American life

Duncan: we’re reforming education by raising standards and creating charter schools which suck in new and innovative ways

Rhee: we’ve so much progress I’m about to
lose my job

Bobb: Although we didn’t win Obama’s school money lottery we’re doing really well in Michigan

Gregory: Bush deserves credit for inventing the idea of accountability

Audience: for everyone except him

Weingarten: testing is fine but the goal should be teaching and learning not just handing out tests

Gregory: Michelle you’re a wonderful person for firing teachers and closing schools and yet no one loves you

Rhee: we only fired the bad teachers

Gregory: Randi how could you sue Michelle -
she’s so adorable

Weingarten: we want teachers to have the tools to teach kids and reward the good teachers

Rhee: we identified highly effective teachers and we’re going to double their salary to above the poverty line

Gregory: that sounds great - Arne why didn’t you campaign for Mayor Fenty and Michelle Rhee since they are such heroes for standing up to unions?

Duncan: are kidding - that guy is fucking toxic

Gregory: see that’s the problem - how can you and I beat the unions with that attitude

Bobb: damm right Fluffy - I get sued every damm day

Gregory: why?

Bobb: I closed 59 schools

Gregory: yikes

[ break ]

Gregory: how can we really get good teachers in the classroom like Mr. Kotter - he was awesome

Weingarten: look there is a learning curve

Gregory: I’m talking about horrible bad teachers which apparently are everywhere like Dolores Umbridge she's scary

Weingarten: it’s starting to happen for the first time

Rhee: hey we tried to fire the truly bad teachers and we got slapped down - stop fighting us with
the bad teachers!

Gregory: this is the whole thing! All we need are good teachers and America will turn around

Rhee: right!

Gregory: But Bob Bobb how can we crush the unions with getting the unions all mad at us and
end up with horse’s heads in our beds?

Bobb: teacher evaluations systems with trap doors if they go below a threshold

Duncan: we need to have the courage to stand
up to unions

Weingarten: instead of only firing teachers maybe we should try to develop good teachers

Gregory: Colorado has the death penalty for bad teachers - do you support that Randi?

Weingarten: we support fair evaluations Fluffy

Gregory: is Mark Zuckerberg Superman?

Duncan: he’s awesome

Gregory: I’m just an idiot with a bad tv show-

Duncan: that’s very true

Gregory: but what can I do?

Rhee: call your local politician and demand
he hire me

Gregory: if you’re driving by a local school and don’t have kids just walk right in

Duncan: actually we don’t encourage strange men to wander around elementary schools Fluffy

Gregory: what nonsense I’m sure they’d love it



ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Gregory: Bush deserves credit for inventing the idea of accountability

Audience: for everyone except him

And that's the lesson for today.

Stephanie said...

Teachers are evil people, which is why Randi Weingarten must never be allowed to finish a sentence when she appears on these shows.