Rep. Chris Van Hollen (D-MD)
Rep. Mike Pence (R-NV)
Arne Duncan (Sec. of Education)
Randi Weingarten (American Fed. Of Teachers)
Michelle Rhee (Chancellor DC Schools)
Robert Bobb (Manager Detroit schools)
Gregory: are you going to vote on taxes before the election - after all that’s a good way for people to judge whether they like what you’re doing -
to you know do something
Van Hollen: the GOP is holding tax cuts for the middle class hostage so they can give their rich friends a trillion dollars
Pence: there should be no higher taxes on anybody!
Gregory: I like it
Pence: the rich are the job creators - the peons should be grateful for the crumbs they get!
Gregory: you claim to care about the debt -
so how do you pay for tax cuts
Pence: fuck the debt - we need to cut taxes for billionaires now!
Van Hollen: we cut taxes for the rich 10 years ago and it ruined the economy
Gregory: [ sobs ]
Van Hollen: how the fuck does Price Waterhouse qualify as a small business??
Pence: he’s right about the Bush tax cuts causing a recession -- because they didn’t cut taxes enough!
Gregory: are you serious?
Pence: we can save 100 billion this year by cutting spending for Fannie Mae and TARP
Van Hollen: we tried to cut taxes for small business and the GOP said no
Pence: oh that was a long time ago
Van Hollen: it was last Thursday!
Gregory: Jon Stewart pointed out Republicans have no new ideas
Pence: we have brand new idea like ending bailouts for Wall Street
Gregory: Republicans are the ones who bailed
out Wall Street!
Pence: I know - but that was before
Gregory: TARP was temporary program put in by a Republican President - it’s like Al Gore running against blowjobs
Pence: that’s makes it new - in 2010 the GOP
pledges to undo what the GOP did in 2008!
Van Hollen: that’s fucking hilarious
Gregory: what’s ironic is Bush’s TARP probably saved the America financial system
Pence: we don’t want to talk about GOP failures of the past 25 years - this time we really really mean we’re going to be responsible with your money
Gregory: what painful choices are you prepared
Pence: eliminate Social Security for anybody
Gregory: it seems the Republicans have bad ideas but Democrats have no ideas
Van Hollen: not at all - we have exciting proposals like cracking down on weak Chinese currency
Gregory: man the barricades!
Pence: we’re going to end earmaking as we know it
Van Hollen: we’re going to end outsourcing as we know it
Gregory: you both present a compelling case
for not voting
[ break ]
Gregory: welcome back - the whole county is talking about the movie “Waiting For Superman” which points out what people already know which is that American schools suck
Duncan: we spent the last 25 years ignoring problems in schools
Gregory: so like every other aspect of American life
Duncan: we’re reforming education by raising standards and creating charter schools which suck in new and innovative ways
Rhee: we’ve so much progress I’m about to
lose my job
Bobb: Although we didn’t win Obama’s school money lottery we’re doing really well in Michigan
Gregory: Bush deserves credit for inventing the idea of accountability
Audience: for everyone except him
Weingarten: testing is fine but the goal should be teaching and learning not just handing out tests
Gregory: Michelle you’re a wonderful person for firing teachers and closing schools and yet no one loves you
Rhee: we only fired the bad teachers
Gregory: Randi how could you sue Michelle -
she’s so adorable
Weingarten: we want teachers to have the tools to teach kids and reward the good teachers
Rhee: we identified highly effective teachers and we’re going to double their salary to above the poverty line
Gregory: that sounds great - Arne why didn’t you campaign for Mayor Fenty and Michelle Rhee since they are such heroes for standing up to unions?
Duncan: are kidding - that guy is fucking toxic
Gregory: see that’s the problem - how can you and I beat the unions with that attitude
Bobb: damm right Fluffy - I get sued every damm day
Bobb: I closed 59 schools
[ break ]
Gregory: how can we really get good teachers in the classroom like Mr. Kotter - he was awesome
Weingarten: look there is a learning curve
Gregory: I’m talking about horrible bad teachers which apparently are everywhere like Dolores Umbridge she's scary
Weingarten: it’s starting to happen for the first time
Rhee: hey we tried to fire the truly bad teachers and we got slapped down - stop fighting us with
the bad teachers!
Gregory: this is the whole thing! All we need are good teachers and America will turn around
Gregory: But Bob Bobb how can we crush the unions with getting the unions all mad at us and
end up with horse’s heads in our beds?
Bobb: teacher evaluations systems with trap doors if they go below a threshold
Duncan: we need to have the courage to stand
up to unions
Weingarten: instead of only firing teachers maybe we should try to develop good teachers
Gregory: Colorado has the death penalty for bad teachers - do you support that Randi?
Weingarten: we support fair evaluations Fluffy
Gregory: is Mark Zuckerberg Superman?
Duncan: he’s awesome
Gregory: I’m just an idiot with a bad tv show-
Duncan: that’s very true
Gregory: but what can I do?
Rhee: call your local politician and demand
he hire me
Gregory: if you’re driving by a local school and don’t have kids just walk right in
Duncan: actually we don’t encourage strange men to wander around elementary schools Fluffy
Gregory: what nonsense I’m sure they’d love it