Sunday, September 12, 2010

Meet The Press - September 12, 2010

David Axelrod
Rudy Giuliani
Reza Aslan
Ron Brownstein
Dee Dee Myers
Mike Murphy
Gregory: can you fix the economy by November?

Axelrod: the American people don’t care about
the next election they want jobs

Gregory: isn’t it too little too late?

Axelrod: no we’ve been doing things all along
to spur the economy

Gregory: like what?

Axelrod: like new bridge and teachers and
a bill to expand lending

Gregory: how is that going?

Axelrod: the Senate is holding that up but we
are adding jobs

Gregory: but the President’s new stimulus bill can’t pass this year

Axelrod: why not - let’s move Fluffy!

Gregory: we had Recovery Summer but now we’re looking at Homeless Autumn

Axelrod: look we were losing 800,00 jobs a
month when we took office and now we’re finally adding jobs

Gregory: so why should people vote for you?

Axelrod: the GOP turned a surplus into a debt
and lost 4 million jobs

Gregory: when does unemployment finally go down

Axelrod: hey we saved 10 million jobs

Gregory: well fine but when does it go down

Axelrod: it took 10 years to create the problem and
it will take 10 years to fix it

Gregory: oh dear

Gregory: you passed the bills you wanted but
people are still pessimistic

Axelrod: look George Bush crashed American into a ditch and we’re slowly tying to get out of it

Gregory: but people have lost confidence in Obama

Axelrod: which people?

Gregory: all my rich friends

Axelrod: did you know John Boehner wants to ship all our jobs overseas and borrow money from our children to give more tax breaks to the rich

Gregory: will you please compromise and give me
a tax cut

Axelrod: we want to cut taxes for everyone up to $250,000

Gregory: that’s not very much

Axelrod: we can’t afford to cut taxes for the rich

Gregory: [ sobs ]

Gregory: why do people hate health care reform

Axelrod: they don’t but it’s not important

Gregory: then why did you spend so much time
on it?!
[ grins ]

Axelrod: hey if Republicans want to repeal health care let them campaign on it honestly

Gregory: I think that’s asking too much

Gregory: is Rahm running for Mayor of Chicago?

Axelrod: he’s focusing on failing as Chief of Staff - he has plenty of time later to fail at running for Mayor

Gregory: why is this mosque so controversial

Giuliani: it’s very offensive to put a religious center near scared ground

Gregory: I see

Giuliani: burning Korans and building religious centers are equivalent

Gregory: how so

Giuliani: it’s very insulting to build a center for interfaith dialogue without a big statute of Jesus

Gregory: what do you think of this Imam

Giuliani: he’s a Bad Imam - he won’t condemn Hamas and won’t tell me where his money comes from

Gregory: he said if we move the center it will only
fuel terrorism

Giuliani: those were very strong words

Gregory: but it’s true

Giuliani: help help I’m being threatened!

Gregory: the Imam is hurting the Holy Families of 9/11 - this center is very painful to them

Gregory: more than strip clubs and porn shops?

Giuliani: right those are sacred

Gregory: how come we can’t find Osama bin Laden?

Giuliani: we’re at war and we need to capture
their flag

Gregory: Ted Koppel says the goal of weak terrorists is to provoke an overreaction and the U.S. has played right into their hands

Giuliani: hey we were attacked when Clinton was President on 9/11 and then Bush went on offense and that prevented any more domestic attacks
which is awesome

Gregory: fascinating

Giuliani: Al Qaeda isn’t everywhere - we should attack South America once in while so they don’t
feel neglected

Gregory: did you believe the GOP is a big tent party and have tried to work with Obama

Giuliani: oh sure 10 Republicans would have voted for his health care bill if he had supported tort reform

Gregory: but has the GOP become a bunch of lunatics?

Giuliani: that’s not fair - the GOP is open to all kinds of crazy people from me to Sarah Palin

Gregory: who’s the leader of the GOP?

Giuliani: John Boehner

Gregory: he’s an oompa-loompa!

Giuliani: nobody’s perfect

[ break ]

Gregory: why is anti-Islam sentiment at an
all time high?

Aslan: Because politicians like Rudy Giuliani openly associate American muslims with terrorism

Gregory: he’s a politician

Aslan: he’s a bigot

Brownstein: without the moderating influence of George W. Bush the lid blew off the hidden bigotry
in the GOP

Gregory: but Americans are moving into homeless shelters - doesn’t that make people mad

Myers: yes but Republicans are out of power and they’ve seized on this issue to manipulate idiots and get votes

Murphy: the media is to blame for hyping this crazy pastor and for not pointing out that we’re not as bad as brutal theocracies

Gregory: it’s the economy stupid

Murphy: Obama has had absolute power for 2 years and he’s lost white people

Brownstein: people hate Republicans but they’re skeptical of team Obama

Aslan: well they’ve got 8 weeks to turn it around

Myers: time to cut some players and target specific seats

Murphy: people are mad at how crazy hard left liberal Obama is

Gregory: Meg Whitman is winning and she’s a Republican

Murphy: Jerry Brown is a highway to hell

Gregory: you work for Whitman

Murphy: oh like anyone cares about ethics on television - it’s like we’re bloggers

Gregory: and that’s Meet The Press


1 comment:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Murphy: oh like anyone cares about ethics on television - it’s like we’re bloggers

Gregory: and that’s Meet The Press