Sunday, August 22, 2010

This Week with guest Hamid Karzai- August 22, 2010

August 22, 2010
Guests:
Hamiz Karzai - President of Afghanistan
Daisy Khan - American Society for Muslim Advancement
Rabbi Joy Levitt
******************************

Amanpour: Hey Afghanistan still isn’t very peaceful

Soldier: If I see a stranger walking around I get suspicious and tail them

Audience: so it’s like Greenwich Connecticut

Soldier: we will root out the fuckin Taliban

Amanpour: President Karzai can you reach an agreement with our new best friends the Taliban

Karzai: oh sure they just have to promise to keep
the craziness to a minimum

Amanpour: that’s nice but women’s groups are worried that the Taliban are not exactly feminists

Karzai: oh they shouldn’t worry their pretty heads

Amanpour: but the Taliban stoned a couple to
death last week

Karzai: yeah that was pretty shocking

Amanpour: can you win this war or not

Karzai: yes but first we have to admit we did everything wrong for the last 9 years

Amanpour: like what specifically

Karzai: like killing civilians, corruption, mercenaries-

Amanpour: you’re not a fan of private contract killers?

Karzai: no I’m not - surprisingly the government doesn’t approve of a parallel foreign corporate shadow government which rules by terror at night

Amanpour: by they protect you and diplomats
and aid groups

Karzai: look if the U.S. needs private contractors that’s fine but they can’t just roam the streets killing people

Amanpour: that’s the army’s job

Karzai: exactly

Amanpour: but the Afghan people still haven’t learned how to kill people - the US hasn’t taught them how since it’s only been 9 years

Karzai: that’s insane Christiane -

Amanpour: is it?

Karzai: yes of course we know how to fight - but Afghans take money to fight with private contractors

Amanpour: fascinating

Karzai: maybe the US taxpayer should worry about whether they are paying for thugs who are hurting the war effort

Amanpour: but if you disband these wonderful contractors won’t they all become terrorists?

Karzai: if that’s true they should be disbanded tomorrow!

Amanpour: one of your close aides was arrested and then released because you intervened

Karzai: fucking right Christiane - he was kidnapped in the name of law enforcement

Amanpour: oh I see

Karzai: I am the fucking President you know

Amanpour: but corruption is real problem

Karzai: I wouldn't know - I don’t work for Disney
or General Electric

Amanpour: thanks Hamid

[ break ]

Amanpour: Ms. Khan your lower manhattan community center is controversial why not work with victim’s families

Khan: we’ve been working with 9/11 families all along

Levitt: we have a JCC so why not have similar community center

Amanpour: so will it have those scary minarets?

Kahn: well there’s a swimming pool-

Amanpour: okay

Kahn: and a meeting place to exchange ideas and preach tolerance

Amanpour: well no wonder the right wingers
are so mad

Khan: mmm

Amanpour: Gov. Paterson said people who live down there are upset

Khan: the few people who live there approved it

Amanpour: shouldn’t you have reached out to people who hate you

Levitt: indeed Jews reach out to neo-Nazis whenever they build a community center

Amanpour: really?

Levitt: no of course not

Amanpour: Newt Gingrich says all Muslims are Nazis

Levitt: forgive me but he’s an asshole

Khan: he really is an ignorant dick isn’t he

Amanpour: is there any foreign funding for your community terror center

Khan: we will adhere to all the laws of New York state

Amanpour: but what about the special laws that only apply Muslims

Khan: what are those?

Amanpour: like when your husband said the U.S. once supported Osama bin Laden

Khan: what he said was true

Amanpour: but it wasn’t a very nice thing
to point out

Amanpour: Is America Islamaphobic?

Khan: gee let me think - yes

Levitt: sure it is

Amanpour: will you go ahead with your hateful swimming center?

Khan: you bet Chrissie

********************************

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