Sunday, August 22, 2010

Meet The Press - August 22, 2010

Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY)
Gov. Granholm (D-MI)
Dick Armey (Tea Party)
Rick Lazio (R-candidate for Gov)
Paul Gigot (Wall St. Journal)
Katty Kay (BBC)
Jeffrey Goldberg (Atlantic)

Gregory: should Muslims be allowed to have a community center near the world trade center?

McConnell: that’s a local issue but President Obama should never have spoken in support of
freedom of religion

Gregory: but what’s your opinion

McConnell: that’s up to New York City but I would hope they would take into consideration what
people in Kentucky think

Gregory: wasn’t Obama wrong support religious freedom?

McConnell: oh yes - it’s just a zoning issue therefore freedom doesn’t matter

Gregory: don’t play dumb Mitch - your entire party has attacked this mosque

McConnell: oh not at all - we’re very angry about debt and the Washington takeovers

Gregory: why do people think Obama is a Muslim?

McConnell: because Obama started a recession
in 2007

Gregory: are you always this stupid?

McConnell: yes

Gregory: but why do people believe falsehoods?

McConnell: I have no idea - I get my information
from Fox news

Gregory: how do you pay for the tax cuts you want?

McConnell: it’s outrageous to raise taxes
in a recession

Gregory: so how will you pay for it?

McConnell: I don’t have to pay for it since it would be raising taxes not cutting them

Gregory: c’mon moron - we’re running a deficit
and you know it

McConnell: you don’t increase taxes in a recession and Obama has been President for 3 years

Gregory: with all due respect do you want to cut the debt or cut taxes

McConnell: you can’t raise taxes

Gregory: you’re not answering my question

McConnell: Obama has imposed paperwork!

Gregory: do you or do you not have a plan to pay
for one trillion in lost taxes

McConnell: no - we have to cut spending

Gregory: well that’s what I was asking about!

McConnell: Obama has a debt commission which I hope will recommend cutting medicare and medicaid

Gregory: why do you need a Democratic President’s commission to tell you what to cut?

McConnell: why should we discuss political issues between now and elections where the entire House of Representatives and much of the Senate are up for election??

Gregory: what about your election prospects?

McConnell: we’re offensive

Gregory: I noticed

Gregory: the Tea Party is awesome isn’t it

McConnell: I love the Tea Party and they discovered spending and debt after a black guy became President

[ break ]

Gregory: Obama said religious freedom is unshakeable as long as local laws are followed which created a firestorm of controversy

Granholm: I heard that this is a peaceful sect so maybe we should let him have religious freedom

Gregory: interesting

Granholm: I checked up on him and he seems like one of the good ones

Gregory: dick there are some good Muslims so maybe we should let them build it after all

Armey: Obama trashed the Constitution on health care which he means he’s whimsical!

Granholm: oh my god

Gregory: tea party candidates are against civil rights, the U.N., social security, income tax, and the 14th amendment

Armey: look they may be crazy but they all won
their GOP primary

Granholm: I’m not sure that electing lunatics is the best strategy to get us out of this serious recession

Gregory: what is?

Granholm: government smartly investing and working with business to develop jobs and infrastructure

Armey: or we could eliminate Medicare

Gregory: is the Tea Party going to take over the GOP?

Armey: Republicans need the courage to come against the Civil Rights Act

Granholm: I don’t think people want to get rid of Medicare

Armey: I don’t want to get rid of Medicare -
I just want to make it voluntary

Granholm: oh ok

Armey: shouldn’t Christian Scientists be allowed to opt-out of social programs?

Granholm: no

Armey: that’s whimsical!

Gregory: should we really raise taxes on the rich?

Armey: the U.S. Government is Porky Pig!

Granholm: yes we should build this economy on the backs of the richest 2 percent

[ break ]

Gregory: ok let's talk about the incredible controversy everyone is concerned about over building in lower Manhattan

Audience: St. Vincent's hospital?

Gregory: No no the really big story over the foreign invasion that everyone in New York City is freaking out about

Audience: oh of course - bedbugs

Gregory: no no I mean the 9/11 Ground Zero Mosque

Audience: oh that silly bullshit

Gregory: rick you were humiliated by Hillary Clinton and have no credibility - tell us why you hate the mosque

Lazio: this imam said the U.S. created Osama bin Laden and I’m not saying we should have a cap on all mosques and all I’m saying this mosque should be banned

Goldberg: that’s crazy - this imam once said ‘i’m a Jew’ which is very brave since bacon is delicious

Gregory: Karen Hughes who has no credibility says if we have freedom for religion the terrorists will celebrate it as a victory over freedom

Gigot: it doesn’t matter who is right - they are not uniting people therefore they are wrong

Gregory: but who’s fault it that?

Gigot: their fault for being too muslim-y

Gregory: Newt Gingrich says all Muslims are Nazis

Kay: dudes you are making America look insane

Lazio: we know that Muslims are patriots and they can have freedom - just not in New York City

Goldberg: worldwide Islam is complex and painting them with a broad brush sends a very bad message

Gigot: look we’re not saying people can’t build mosques all over the world-

Gregory: mighty white of you

Gigot: just not at this holy Christian site which is sanctified by porn shops and a skyscraper

Gregory: look we all want freedom just not near where so many white people died

Kay: Fluffy I heard you were a moron

Lazio: this mosque might have ties to Iran!

Gregory: Jeff you say Israel is planning to bomb Iran

Goldberg: Obama is being prudent and has given Iran a way out while imposing sanctions - but Iran is close and Israel is ready to strike

Gregory: look our are troops leaving Iraq - too bad
gosh it was such a fun war

Gregory: let me quote a right wing editorial wall street journal that we won in Iraq - USA! USA! USA!

Gigot: we gave them a Republic - aren’t we wonderful?

Gregory: we are true heroes

Gigot: hopefully Iraq can serve our purposes

Gregory: I loved that war - rick can we go back?

Lazio: absolutely - but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t start other new, fun wars

Gregory: I like it

Lazio: we left this epic disaster with honor

Kay: while Gigot does the touchdown end zone dance it’s worth remembering that this was a war based on lies costing billions and thousands of lives and was almost a total failure

Gregory: sure but other than that it was great



ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

What a lineup.

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