Admiral Mullen - Chair Joint Chiefs
Gov. Ed Rendell - (D-PA)
Mike Bloomberg - Mayor of New York
August 1, 2010
Gregory: Admiral I love your epaulets
Gregory: don’t these Wikileaks prove the war was a colossal waste of time
Mullen: no it proves that it WAS a huge mistake - but that was in the past - now we’re beginning to make great progress so it’s all good
Gregory: why the fuck can’t we get Al-Qaeda?
Mullen: Obama is sending more troops
Gregory: now we need more troops - jesus
Mullen: we said this we would be a tough year but in 12 months we’ll know whether this new phase of the was also a complete waste
Gregory: the Taliban attacks our troops from Pakistan so we need them but they hate us
Mullen: look I’m not going to mince words - we may need to go to war with them too
Mullen: no I’m just pulling your leg Fluffy
Gregory: oh good
Mullen: look we’re not going to win overnight - we’re going to lose over a period of years and years
Gregory: ah I see
Mullen: then we may have to tangle with India
Gregory: is Pakistan with us or against us?
Gregory: what a relief
Gregory: will you make a deal with the Taliban?
Mullen: we sent Howie Mandel there already
Gregory: Look at this gruesome biased Time magazine cover
Gregory: are we there to protect the women of Afghanistan?
Mullen: we have to protect all the people of Afghanistan
Gregory: but I thought we were there to get al qaeda?
Mullen: yes but to defeat them we must rebuild the Afghan economy, society, and civilization
Gregory: which is worse - letting Iran get a nuke or attacking Iran
Mullen: gosh Greggers that’s a tough one
Gregory: well you’re the one with the shiny shoulders
Mullen: Talk to Barack Fluffers
Gregory: can we have a new war please?
Gregory: why are so many soldiers committing suicide?
Mullen: it could be the wars and constant redeployments
Gregory: you think
Mullen: but not only that
Gregory: thanks for coming Admiral
[ break ]
Gregory: Welcome everyone to Recovery Summer! What the hell is wrong?
Bloomberg: Well Democrats won’t cut spending and the GOP won’t raise taxes and nobody knows what the future holds so no one hires anyone
Gregory: people won’t spend so employers won’t hire and so people won’t spend
Greenspan: our problem is that America doesn’t make anything anymore - we just shuffle financial papers around
Gregory: hey that’s very lucrative
Greenspan: that’s true
Gregory: how can we reinflate the housing bubble?
Greenspan: it’s touch and go
Gregory: Ed America has run out of money
Rendell: we need stimulus and re-build infrastructure and that’s perfect because we can do both at once
Bloomberg: the stimulus went to buy flat screen tvs
Gregory: what is the unemployment level
Greenspan: it’s half past Matlock
Gregory: what does that mean?
Greenspan: the unemployment I caused is very tragic
Gregory: Mike should we let the tax cuts for the rich expire?
Bloomberg: oh no it’s much too risky
Rendell: we raised taxes in 1993 and created 23 million jobs
Bloomberg: yeah but Bill Clinton cheated by not starting any wars
Rendell: let’s cut Medicare and Medicaid and then phase in raising taxes on the rich to the incredibly high levels they were under Reagan
Gregory: Alan you said we should let the tax cuts expire
Greenspan: why should we borrow money from our grandchildren so billionaires can be even richer now?
Gregory: what a crazy idea
Gregory: hey is Wall Street different from the movie in 1987
Bloomberg: no that movie said Wall Street was a bunch of crooks
Gregory: why does corrupt evil Wall Street executives hate Obama?
Bloomberg: We’re all to blame for the excess and recession - let’s not look for villains
Gregory: but Obama doesn’t get along with the business community
Rendell: It’s terrible - so sad for Obama
Bloomberg: let’s be realistic - we social security cards encoded with DNA
Gregory: how is my 401(k)?
Greenspan: I have no idea but I will say this - pudding!
Gregory: will you for President in 2012
Bloomberg: no I can’t get elected - I believe in evolution
Gregory: oh well forget I said anything
[ break ]
Gregory: Doris how is Obama doing?
Goodwin: he showed feistiness in Detroit and people need that
Gregory: what about Afghanistan
Goodwin: FDR invaded North Africa because people need to be entertained
Gregory: Obama says the American worker is a great investment
Halperin: but he’s a President with high unemployment and two unpopular wars
Gregory: what a terrible record!
Halperin: we should elect Republicans!
Gregory: why is Obama so unpopular and why won’t he support Charlie Rangel
Goodwin: I know he’s not liked but I think he should argue for himself and talk about results!
Halperin: Rangel is black you know
Halperin: I read that somewhere
Gregory: Hey Chelsea got married
Goodwin: they raised a terrific kid
Halperin: people are fascinated by the Clintons
Gregory: beltway pundits are hopeless village gossips
Gregory: and that’s Meet the Press