Sunday, June 20, 2010

This Week with guest Rahm Emanuel - June 19, 2010

Jake Tapper
Rahm Emanuel - White House Chief of Staff

Tapper: Hi Rahm - the CEO of BP went yachting
in Britain!

Emanuel: jesus fucking christ and people think
I have a bad image!

Tapper: he got his life back

Emanuel: if he was in Chicago I’d take him out
on a boat and he wouldn’t come back

Tapper: like Gilligan?

Emanuel: he’d sleep with the fucking fishes

Tapper: are you pleased with BP’s capping
of the well?

Emanuel: well since they haven’t then I’d say
fucking no

Tapper: so what are you doing

Emanuel: we forced BP to dig more relief wells, capture more oil and give us $20 billion for miscellaneous expenses

Tapper: if we are at war then how can we have bureaucracy which the military never has

Emanuel: hey there’s 17,000 soldiers down there ready to shoot any living thing that moves

Tapper: excellent

Emanuel: But we have to understand Louisiana is not like Florida - the politicians there are owned by an entirely different set of corporations

Tapper: Joe Barton apologized to BP getting American sand in their oil

Emanuel: well that’s the GOP for you - defend BP
for the outrage of forcing a corporation to clean up their mess

Tapper: shocking

Emanuel: if they were in charge the Republicans would arrest gulf fishermen for getting their nets
into BP god-given oil

Tapper: how do you respond the charge that you
are Che Guevaraxists

Emanuel: hey Bush just wrote checks!

Tapper: that his body couldn’t cash

Emanuel: I like to use a jawbone

Tapper: of an ass?

Emanuel: if I have to Tappster

Tapper: will Obama insist on a carbon tax?

Emanuel: that depends on what those fuckers
in Congress do

Tapper: Afghanistan is now the longest war in American history

Emanuel: except for the war on drugs, war on
cancer and war on poverty

Tapper: and war on terror

Emanuel: right - look Bush ignored Afghanistan for years and years and Obama is finally focused
on getting us out

Tapper: by sending in more troops

Emanuel: yes but they have a great police force
now with nice uniforms

Tapper: oh that’s good

Tapper: Is Bibi coming back to America?

Emanuel: yes he’s been busy attacking ships in international waters but now he’s coming to definitely make peace

Tapper: We’re in the middle of a recession so shouldn’t we have spending cuts?

Emanuel: [ punches Tapper in the face ]

Tapper: Ow!

Emanuel: sorry I always wanted to do that

Tapper: are we in a recovery

Emanuel: no doubt we’re growing the economy and adding jobs but we’re not there yet

Tapper: what do you want?

Emanuel: an energy bill, financial reform, lending to small businesses, hire teachers

Tapper: How terrible is President Obama?

Emanuel: he’s not

Tapper: [interrupting] but he does suck

Emanuel: [ lunges forward, puts Tapper in a chokehold ]

Tapper: Aaarrrgghh

Emanuel: Elections are about choices motherfucker!!

Tapper: okay okay

Emanuel: [ squeezing ] Tap out Tapper!!

Tapper: [ taps out ]

Emanuel: [ lets go ]
Obama is going to run against Joe Barton
and win dipshit!

Tapper: is Obama corrupt for offering Joe Sestak
a job in exchange nothing?

Emanuel: let me answer this way Jake
[ delivers roundhouse kick to Tapper’s head ]

Tapper: [ on the floor ]
thanks for coming Rahm

Emanuel: no thank you fucker!


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