Meet the Press
April 5, 2009
Guest: Fritz Henderson, CEO of General Motors
Gregory: OMG President Obama says GM totally sucks!!
Henderson: in our defense we could thrive if we had billions in free money
Gregory: you've been at GM for 25 years - what's your fucking problem?
Henderson: hey it's a bit of a learning curve
Gregory: GM has lost tens of billions - was Wagoner incompetent?
Henderson: maybe but he was a hell of a nice white guy
Gregory: what went wrong with GM?
Henderson: we need to forget our mistakes and
begin moving forward being robust
Gregory: is there double-standard between
you and the banks
Henderson: of course there is but what are you going to do?
Gregory: but Bob Corker said the Pandora's
Box of fascism has been opened!
Henderson: it was very difficult for us to go on welfare
Gregory: look the reality is Obama is a fascist - now say it!!!
Henderson: Obama told me not to
Gregory: GM sucks - but you've been there 25 years!!
Henderson: look i've run every aspect of the company so only i can fix it
Henderson: fuck if I know
Gregory: why not just declare bankruptcy?
Henderson: oh that's no fun
Gregory: you shrewdly put older executives on medicare - surely you must do the same for unions??
Gregory: oh c'mon just say it!
Henderson: all right you forced me
Gregory: how can you and I work together to
destroy the unions?
Henderson: see me in the green room
Gregory: people think GM cars totally suck
Henderson: that's true
Gregory: so what you are you going to do?
Henderson: there's no magic - we just sell cars
one at a time
Gregory: that's kind of stupid
Henderson: hey Dave - want to buy a car?
Gregory: no - now why don't you work for a dollar a year?
Henderson: why don't you?
Gregory: [spit take ] jesus are you serious!
Henderson: I make a million a year
Gregory: crap I could never live on so little
Henderson: i'm clipping coupons
Gregory: how do you win consumers back?
Henderson: two words: big fins
Gregory: you are the worst spokesman ever
Henderson: yeah i know
Gregory: you're like the lead guy at a Boring Man Festival
[ break ]
Gregory: OMG North Korea fired a nuclear rocket at Japan!!
Obama: North Korea broke the rules!!
Kay: like the rules in Hiroshima?
Dave: good one katty
Gregory: China says remain calm and would you like MSG
Kay: North Korea demands attention - they're telling
the world they're not going to be ignored!!
Kay: President Hu will be involved
Gregory: Is Obama like the Superman in Superman IV - is he going to ride the world of all nuclear weapons?
Harwood: right he's both good and evil
Gregory: Bibi says the messianic crazy people should not have nukes
Kay: well Bush is out of office
Harwood: we have to decide who's scarier - North Korea or Iran
Gregory: How do we handle a girl named Israel?
Gerson: Weaponization is easy - comedy is hard
Dave: I do it week after week
Gregory: Obama has a weird approach to foreigners
- he listens to them instead of killing them
Gerson: fuck him
Rogers: it's almost as if after Reagan, Bush I,
Clinton and Bush II we decided to elect a man without dementia or psycho-sexual hangups
Rogers: he's pushing his stimulus and his big package
Obama: America is dismissive, derisive, and arrogant - but the French are just assholes
Europe: zat ees true
Kay: Obama could elected Premier of Europe if wanted
Gregory: and Africa and Asia too
Kay: Obama failed utterly to get more than 5,000 more troops
Gerson: i was impressed by the Obamas' grace
but he failed to push those snooty Euro-trash bastards around
Gregory: hey you worked for Bush!
Gerson: yeah well it's easy to be popular when you aren't an asshole
Harwood: he's making first downs and slow and steady progress with no fumbles
Gregory: he's going to talk turkey to the
middle east next in Istanbul
Gregory: it's a paradox - i want to bash Obama
but he went after al qaeda
Ramo: the lesson of the Bush administation is
that you can't beat terrorists by bombing them
Gregory: so we wasted the last 8 years?
Gerson: that's true - but let me invoke Saint Petraeus to salvage Stupid's reputation - it was really Bush who tried diplomacy
Ramo: umm dude that is total bullshit
Kay: Obama's cheating by having good ideas on terrorism
Gregory: it's quite fascinating
Rogers: he's like robot or a genetically enhanced human
Gerson: oh sure invoke reality - i hate all you people
Gregory: good point mikey
Gregory: Obama has failed to achieve world peace and prosperity
Harwood: actually the Dow is up Dancin' Dave
Gregory: but, but, but, they only spent a
trillion dollars - isn't Obama a failure?
Rogers: criminy David the nations have already
spent money from their own stimulus bills now!
Gregory: but, but, but, don't other nations
totally suck because we suck?
Rogers: the American people have too many credit cards
Gerson: i totally agree - but this week was a
real win for the new international Superstar, Gordon Brown
Kay: jesus you are a shit head
Gregory: will China now control the world currency?
Ramo: i live in China and I can tell you that
Tim Geithner met with our loan officer in China and they offered us good terms
Ramo: Chinese blogs say they need to unscrew the U.S. economy
Gregory: oh noe!
Gregory: we've lost 5 million jobs!
Rogers: yes but the good news is that the numbers
are worse than ever before
Gregory: thank god
Rogers: also the good news is that actually 15 million are unemployed
Rogers: now Obama must win over conservatives Republicans
Gregory: I noticed Obama has failed on this
Gerson: [ high pitched voice, wild hand gestures ]
indeed this was a failed week for Obama !!!
Kay: you're like a less masculine mitt romney
Gregory: let me quote yes another conservative David Brooks
Harwood: Bobo and Gerson are all right - firing
Rick Wagoner was so risky now that Obama owns this problem
Gregory: we live in an era where people hate high CEO salaries
Ramo: yes - if by 'era' you mean 'one week'
Gregory: let me ask Michael Gerson about Bob Corker
Gerson: jesus Dave even I think you're in the tank
for the GOP - Obama had to take on big business
Gregory: will no one bash Obama but me??
Rogers: Obama is doing the right thing
Kay: sorry dancin' dave i think Obama is right here
Gregory: [ weeps openly ]
Gregory: today we celebrate two rites of spring -
the cherry blossom festival and Karl Rove and I will
interpret Stravinsky's Le Sacre du Printemps on the White House Oval - don't miss it!!