Guest: Larry Summers
Gregory: so Larry are we lifting the Cuba embargo or what?
Summers: of course we are but first Obama has to let people get used to the idea which is inevitable
Gregory: but Castro is a commie!
Summers: yeah well so are China and Hanoi and Cambridge Massachusetts and we trade with them
Gregory: Obama shook hands with Chavez - is that appropriate since he is dark and swarthy?
Summers: look Obama is popular and other world leaders beg to be seen with him -- did you that dipshit Berlusconi camera hogging with Barack?
Gregory: Wall street vs. Main Steet!
Summers: look the important thing is that we give trillions in free money to three banks so they can start lending to the peons in the rest of America
Gregory: i agree
Summers: Obama is going to shatter Too Big to Fail and create many Too Little to Fails
Gregory: well look dood we've given away billions so where are the results??
Summers: blah blah blah positive indicators blah blah engine blah blah long way to go blah blah
Gregory: Noted ray of sunshine Paul Krugman says we're headed to a depression, fascism and a world war
Summers: he's right
Gregory: oh dear
Summers: we call a Depression an "adverse outcome"
Gregory: that's better
Summers: look Paul wants us to spend twice as much - well I invite him to get off the cover of Newsweek and get the Congress to approve it
Summers: Greggers we're using terms like "proactive" and "going forward" - what else can we do?
Gregory: sounds like you've covered all the bases
Gregory: we're down to out last $100 billion but I hear the banks need that much just for caviar!
Summers: ah well in that case they should seek new lenders or maybe cut back on fancy lunches
Gregory: well then banks don't want the free money if you're going to get crazy
Summers: oh no no no - they need to take our money or they might starve
Gregory: Obama has raised the deficit!!
Gregory: Obama isn't really saving money because Bush was going to pull out of Iraq!!
Summers: sure he was - but he was going to invade Argentina in 2011
Summers: yes it's in Bush's memior: "My Years in the White House and my Plan to Invade Argentina"
Gregory: Obama wants a universal health care plan that will cost a trillion dollars - where will all that money come from?
Summers: dood health isn't free now!
Gregory: sure it is
Summers: dear god i heard you were a moron
Gregory: Doc Summers the Teabaggers say even though you cut taxes someday you will have to raise taxes which will be bad
Summers: i'm not scared of the teabagging dick armey
Gregory: but you're raising taxes
Summers: no we're cutting taxes
Gregory: but a lot of Americans will see their taxes go up!!
Summers: no only people who make $250,000 a year
Gregory: but that's everyone I know!
Gregory: will Obama pledge never to raise taxes ever ever
Summers: shut the fuck up dancin' dave
Gregory: you used to be a debt hawk
Summers: well that was before
Gregory: oh i see
Summers: we need Americans to be leaner
Gregory: are you serious?
Gregory: you want to free up credit - but it was irresponsible Americans that got us in trouble in the first place!
Summers: true it's a paradox - we need people to borrow for things like college instead of McMansions
Summers: but first go out and spend!!!
[ break ]
Gregory: dick what the fuck is with the ridiculous teabagging parties
Armey: quite frankly Obama cut taxes but frankly I just discovered that since 1980 raising spending and cutting taxes is bad!!
Ford: fuck you
Armey: but it's inevitable that if you increase spending and debt you have to raise taxes!
Ford: what happened to supply-side economics?
Armey: never heard of it
Pearlstein: i just remembered since 1980 we have to live within our means
Gregory: do we really have to pay taxes or should we just use magic beans??
Easton: the non-existent tax increases are a real animating force for the GOP
Armey: we should raise taxes on the poor!!
Ford: um what the fuck dood?
Armey: i came on the defend the rich!
Ford: now we see the hypocrisy inherent in the system!
Stengel: Obama wants to bring America back to an era of thrift
Gregory: but where is the money going to come from??
Pearlstein: some of what Obama is proposing in investment
Armey: the government is just too big - I hate government
Gregory: which part
Armey: well look at the failure of Republican administrations - doesn't that prove government can't work??
Ford: you should donate your brain to the Center for Crazy-Ass studies
Gregory: Time magazine says the Person of the Year is” The Cheapskate”
Stengel: the top 10% of Americans of doing a Re-Set and not buying bottled water from Iceland
Gregory: it's the new frugality!!
Easton: everyone just realized that Reagan, Bush and Bush we're all total fucktards
Dave: oh well America had a good run there
Easton: the key to recovery is to hand free billions to banks - the Left is mad about that
Gregory: well the teabaggers say that too
Easton: no Dave, they're stone cold racists
Pearlstein: look rich white men will always steal the money - get over it!
Stengel: i love unemployed people they're so cuddly and good for a cover story
Ford: bobby jindal put it best - Obama is a secret Vulcan
Gregory: let's talk torture - will telling the truth weaken America?
Armey: oh sure - why smack Bush around?
Gregory: well it's legal now!
Stengel: Nelson Mandela would ignore all this
Ford: the past is the past - let's not argue about how used insects on who
Easton: i expect we will get a DeSantis letter from a CIA officer saying "Dear Obama I quit!"
Armey: this was a political act to make Bush look bad - not that torture is bad - but if it were then Obama is bad for revealing it even thought it's not bad