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This Week With George Stephanopoulos
May 4, 2008
Guest: Sen. Hillary Clinton
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Stephanopoulos: Obama say you are pandering with this silly gas tax holiday idea
Clinton: no no i want the oil companies to pay the gas tax for the summer then they can go back to gouging people
Stephanopoulos: how would that work
Clinton: i would investigate OPEC and Exxon and bring the Hillary Hammer down!
Stephanopoulos: but the oil companies would make more money - that sounds stupid
Clinton: but americans in the middle class work really hard and i love them!!
Stephanopoulos: no economist thinks this a good idea
Clinton: oh sure you're ivory tower doods will say that but i will magically make the oil companies pay the extra
Stephanopoulos: is the holiday permanent?
Clinton: no just in the period while i am running against Obama
Stephanopoulos: it sounds stupid
Clinton: oh sure the latte-drinking elitists would say that
Audience: we have global warming and you want people to drive more!
Clinton: i have a long term plan and i want to have a good debate on whether Obama hates truck drivers
Stephanopoulos: 60% of people think you are dishonest
Clinton: people in NY know that i am not that honest but they are ok with that because i am a fighter
Stephanopoulos: interesting
Clinton: i know human nature
Stephanopoulos: like how
Clinton: you can't trust men - they will cheat on you!
Audience: can you stimulate our manufacturers
Clinton: we can't bring back our lost jobs but we can stop the bleeding
Stephanopoulos: like how
Clinton: stop rewarding companies for moving overseas
Stephanopoulos: wow that's crazy enough to work
Stephanopoulos: jobs are going to China and that was approved by the Clinton administration
Clinton: true but we had a ten year limit and we assumed Bill would be out of office by then
Stephanopoulos: but now you object
Clinton: yes but we have learned much since then
Stephanopoulos: like what
Clinton: we learned i want to be President
Stephanopoulos: but did the Clinton administration suck
Clinton: no you and i were both against NAFTA as you recall
Stephanopoulos: i can't say
Clinton: you're so adorable
Stephanopoulos: has Rev. Right donated to the Clinton Library?
Clinton: well Bill was the first black president
Stephanopoulos: you sold your donor list
Clinton: look that's all Bill - you know i can't control him
Stephanopoulos: if you could Gore would be working on his third term now
Clinton: i was born a poor black child unlike that privileged elitist Barack Obama
Audience: amen!
Clinton: my health care plan will help poor blacks and pre-schoolers and workers and white people and Hispanics and the middle class and students and-
Stephanopoulos: senator stop talking or i will be forced to use force
Clinton: please you could fit in my pocket
Stephanopoulos: if you overturn the pledged delegates and give Obama the shaft won't blacks be angry
Clinton: i'm ahead in the popular vote if you count Michigan
Stephanopoulos: his name wasn't even on the ballot in Michigan
Clinton: well that was his choice
Stephanopoulos: those were the rules
Clinton: fuck the rules
Stephanopoulos: you are a scary lady
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Sunday, May 04, 2008
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