Monday, May 12, 2008

Meet The Press- May 11, 2008

Meet The Press
May 11, 2008
Guests: Sen. Chris Dodd and Terry McAuliffe

Russert: welcome Sen. Dodd

Dodd: happy mother's day Timmy

Tim: ok dood

Russert: Obama is kicking ass Dodd

Dodd: yes it's over now and i know that Bill and Hillary love the party and this country and so will support Obama soon

Russert: but they are still running in West Virginia

Dodd: the question is does Hillary love America enough to help the Democrats win in the fall and stop sliming Obama

Russert: you once said something mildly critical about Obama

Dodd: please this dood ran circles around me and he knows all about nuclear weapons and shit

Russert: Terry McAuliffe even Rahm Emmanuel thinks Hillary Clinton is toast

McAuliffle: no no no if you count Michigan Hillary could be the nominee

Russert: you couldn't vote for Obama in Michigan if you wanted to

McAuliffe: that was his choice he did that to appease those fuckers in Iowa

Russert: like how Hillary said Michigan could go to hell

McAuliffe: that was a compliment -- after all that would be an improvement for much of Michigan

Russert: true

McAuliffe: we've been through this nightmare for 17 months - so let's keep going!!!

Russert: have you considered therapy Terry?

McAuliffe: it's not impossible! She can still win!! She's like the Buffalo Bills!!

Russert: how on earth can she possibly win??

McAuliffe: an act of God!!!

Russert: Hillary has pointed out that Obama is black and lazy

McAuliffe: no no no - she was quoting the racist Associated Press and for example i was reading the White Power web site this morning and they said because Obama is descended from mud people he can't win a general election

Russert: interesting point Terry

McAuliffe: I thought so

Russert: she implied blacks are lazy

McAuliffe: she was quoting the AP

Russert: no she wasn't

McAuliffe: she was paraphrasing

Russert: even Rangel said that she was dumb

McAuliffe: look we have to win the 2008 election if we have to play the race card then we will

Tim: I can tell

McAuliffe: within 3 weeks of the middle of June this will be over

Russert: can he win white ethnics?

McAuliffe: Tim if your father was still alive he would get drunk if was watching this on tv

Russert: Big Russ is still alive dood

McAuliffe: oh i was thinking of the Clinton campaign

Russert: terry when you were Chair you took away all of the delegates of renegade states

McAuliffe: you can't deny that millions of people voted in an election where only Hillary was on the ballot

Russert: the very height of democracy

Russert: are the Cintons willing to build a bonfire out of $11 million

McAuliffe: nothing is impossible!

Russert: will you pay all your debts??

McAuliffe: a million people with pitchforks from West Virginia and Kentucky and Puerto Rico could rise and seize the USA by force

Russert: no offense but you seem psychotic

McAuliffe: your dad said in your book that nothing is impossible and you must fight against all odds

Russert: no he didn't

McAuliffe: Yeaaaaarrrrhhhhh!!!!!!

Russert: how on earth did the skinny black muslim beat you??

McAuliffe: he won Iowa and it was smooth sailing there for Mr Cool

Russert: should you have skipped Iowa?

McAuliffe: no that would be gaming the system we want to fight everywhere

Russert: well good luck crazy person

[ Break ]

Russert: is Obama the nominee

Panel: yes yes yes yes

Clizza: the Clintons have been counted out again and again so that's one reason why they are still in it

Norris: they invented the idea of coming-in-second as winning

Russert: they could lose $11 million!

Harwood: yeah but bill and hillary could just write another book - poor Mark Penn is the one in real trouble

Russert: that's why Obama will host fundraisers for the Mark Penn charity

Harwood: yeah that'll happen

Russert: running mate??

Norris: they believe they can win Republican voters back

Russert: hillary wouldn't help?

Norris: not much

Cilizza: the dood is running on change! But you can send a strong message on change in America by putting a crazy man on the ticket like Gov. Ted Strickland

Norris: hillary says he Obama is losing among hard working americans but she has lost blacks and lazy people

Russert: how did this skinny black Kenyan win??

Timmy: it turns out America is not her place and she trashed the place

Harwood: also Obama is a once in a lifetime politician the man has mad political skillz

Cilizza: look at the gas tax - total dishonest pandering and this time people saw George W. Clinton

McCain: Obama is a muslim terrorist

Obama: he's losing his bearings

McCain Spokesman: he's just pointing out that McCain is too old to President

Obama: i never said that - why would you?
[end clip]

Seib: this sounds crazy i know but this debate may be about actual issues -- lucky for them the Republicans have a huge advantage on national security issue

Russert: oh of course

Hardwood: the media is out to get John McCain

[ bust of laughter ]

Norris: the next President can solve all of our problems by sitting down both parties in the Roosevelt Room and telling them to agree

Harwood: John McCain is a not a flat earth looney and Obama is not a communist

Russert: that's too bad

Cilizza: also bear in mind the Republican party is completely fucked

Russert: trouble me not with such stories pretty boy

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