Meet The Press
May 11, 2008
Guests: Sen. Chris Dodd and Terry McAuliffe
Russert: welcome Sen. Dodd
Dodd: happy mother's day Timmy
Tim: ok dood
Russert: Obama is kicking ass Dodd
Dodd: yes it's over now and i know that Bill and Hillary love the party and this country and so will support Obama soon
Russert: but they are still running in West Virginia
Dodd: the question is does Hillary love America enough to help the Democrats win in the fall and stop sliming Obama
Russert: you once said something mildly critical about Obama
Dodd: please this dood ran circles around me and he knows all about nuclear weapons and shit
Russert: Terry McAuliffe even Rahm Emmanuel thinks Hillary Clinton is toast
McAuliffle: no no no if you count Michigan Hillary could be the nominee
Russert: you couldn't vote for Obama in Michigan if you wanted to
McAuliffe: that was his choice he did that to appease those fuckers in Iowa
Russert: like how Hillary said Michigan could go to hell
McAuliffe: that was a compliment -- after all that would be an improvement for much of Michigan
McAuliffe: we've been through this nightmare for 17 months - so let's keep going!!!
Russert: have you considered therapy Terry?
McAuliffe: it's not impossible! She can still win!! She's like the Buffalo Bills!!
Russert: how on earth can she possibly win??
McAuliffe: an act of God!!!
Russert: Hillary has pointed out that Obama is black and lazy
McAuliffe: no no no - she was quoting the racist Associated Press and for example i was reading the White Power web site this morning and they said because Obama is descended from mud people he can't win a general election
Russert: interesting point Terry
McAuliffe: I thought so
Russert: she implied blacks are lazy
McAuliffe: she was quoting the AP
Russert: no she wasn't
McAuliffe: she was paraphrasing
Russert: even Rangel said that she was dumb
McAuliffe: look we have to win the 2008 election if we have to play the race card then we will
Tim: I can tell
McAuliffe: within 3 weeks of the middle of June this will be over
Russert: can he win white ethnics?
McAuliffe: Tim if your father was still alive he would get drunk if was watching this on tv
Russert: Big Russ is still alive dood
McAuliffe: oh i was thinking of the Clinton campaign
Russert: terry when you were Chair you took away all of the delegates of renegade states
McAuliffe: you can't deny that millions of people voted in an election where only Hillary was on the ballot
Russert: the very height of democracy
Russert: are the Cintons willing to build a bonfire out of $11 million
McAuliffe: nothing is impossible!
Russert: will you pay all your debts??
McAuliffe: a million people with pitchforks from West Virginia and Kentucky and Puerto Rico could rise and seize the USA by force
Russert: no offense but you seem psychotic
McAuliffe: your dad said in your book that nothing is impossible and you must fight against all odds
Russert: no he didn't
Russert: how on earth did the skinny black muslim beat you??
McAuliffe: he won Iowa and it was smooth sailing there for Mr Cool
Russert: should you have skipped Iowa?
McAuliffe: no that would be gaming the system we want to fight everywhere
Russert: well good luck crazy person
[ Break ]
Russert: is Obama the nominee
Panel: yes yes yes yes
Clizza: the Clintons have been counted out again and again so that's one reason why they are still in it
Norris: they invented the idea of coming-in-second as winning
Russert: they could lose $11 million!
Harwood: yeah but bill and hillary could just write another book - poor Mark Penn is the one in real trouble
Russert: that's why Obama will host fundraisers for the Mark Penn charity
Harwood: yeah that'll happen
Russert: running mate??
Norris: they believe they can win Republican voters back
Russert: hillary wouldn't help?
Norris: not much
Cilizza: the dood is running on change! But you can send a strong message on change in America by putting a crazy man on the ticket like Gov. Ted Strickland
Norris: hillary says he Obama is losing among hard working americans but she has lost blacks and lazy people
Russert: how did this skinny black Kenyan win??
Timmy: it turns out America is not her place and she trashed the place
Harwood: also Obama is a once in a lifetime politician the man has mad political skillz
Cilizza: look at the gas tax - total dishonest pandering and this time people saw George W. Clinton
McCain: Obama is a muslim terrorist
Obama: he's losing his bearings
McCain Spokesman: he's just pointing out that McCain is too old to President
Obama: i never said that - why would you?
Seib: this sounds crazy i know but this debate may be about actual issues -- lucky for them the Republicans have a huge advantage on national security issue
Russert: oh of course
Hardwood: the media is out to get John McCain
[ bust of laughter ]
Norris: the next President can solve all of our problems by sitting down both parties in the Roosevelt Room and telling them to agree
Harwood: John McCain is a not a flat earth looney and Obama is not a communist
Russert: that's too bad
Cilizza: also bear in mind the Republican party is completely fucked
Russert: trouble me not with such stories pretty boy