The Daily Show with John Stewart - Guest: Douglas Feith - May 12, 2008

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The Daily Show with John Stewart
Guest: Douglas Feith
May 12, 2008
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Stewart: did you lie to kill 4,000 Americans

Feith: no I am very stupid but not a liar

Stewart: oh ok

Feith: true invading Iraq was very risky

Stewart: ah you also lied about how safe it was going to be

Feith: no you're forgetting how stupid i am - see I also was dumb about all that too

Stewart: you seem really, really stupid

Feith: not just me - Rumsfeld and Bush too

Feith: looking back i admit we were wrong about one thing - saying Iraq had WMD and that we would be greeted as liberators

Stewart: now that sounds like lying and deception to sell a product and killing people

Feith: oh sure you remember we tried to sell the war because it went really badly - but if the war had gone well i would be writing a book right now reminding people that we were really against the war

Stewart: all due respect Stupid i think i remember you guys selling this war like it was the Superbowl with blowjobs and orgasms

Feith: now that sounds fun - do you want a job

Stewart: c'mon didn't you sell this war with a pack of lies

Feith: well sure looking back we told lies but the lies were only clear in hindsight

Stewart: i don't believe you just fucked up

Feith: no no no - i disagree i believe this administration is mostly morons

Stewart: really?

Feith: The Bush administration is like Wagner -- it's better than it sounds

Stewart: but not as much fun to be around

Feith: that's why i wrote the book - to get my revisionst lies out there

Stewart: good luck with that dumbass

Feith: George Bush is like me and my golden retriever - dumb but loyal

Stewart: you guys totally invented the Iraq threat and mobilized this country for war with great effort

Feith: oh you're just assuming we wanted war

Stewart: i am - but in this case you had to work had to make a case for war

Feith: no you must understand - we don't *think* at all

Stewart: um, what?

Feith: look after 9/11 George Bush decided the best way to prevent another 9/11 was to invent a case against Iraq because he once tried to his daddy

Stewart: why didn't you focus on diplomacy?

Feith: we tried that - it was a lovely nanosecond

Feith: diplomacy failed when Saddam let the inspectors in and we realized he was not serious about war and cheated by agreeing to our demands

Stewart: but you lied

Feith: we had to lie because after 9/11 we need to prevent another 9/11 by attacking coutries before they ever thought of attacking us

Stewart: don't you see how immoral that kind of lying is

Feith: no i really don't

Stewart: well fuck off ya fuckin war criminal

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