Meet The Press, August 5, 2007
Russet: Iraq completely sucks
Gates: well, that is true, but i would point out that the government is in chaos -- on the other hand something good happened somewhere
Russert: what when wrong
Gates: the middle east is a place where people frequently disagree - who knew?
Russert: anything good?
Gates: there is one stable town or so they tell me
Russert: should the US ally with former Sunni insurgents who killed a lot of Americans
Gates: hey that's politics in the middle east -- you make a deal with the doods who were trying to kill you for money or sell them you're wives - whatever works
Russert: you're wrong about everything why should anyone trust you
Gates: because we're all hiding behind General Petraeus and the rest of the troops
Russert: but you do suck
Gates: yes but not anymore we've got men with ribbons on their chests in charge now!
Russert: sound pretty bad
Gates: sure but let's not throw the sunni out with the baathwater
Russert: September deadline?
Gates: right by September we are going to have to issue a report announcing some progress and asking for more time -- no ifs ands or buts
Russert: you really, really suck
Gates: whatever, i don't give a shit anymore
Russert: why not do Baker-Hamilton?
Gates: Bush did adopt their proposals
Gates: well they did say a surge was not necessarily a bad idea
Russert: why are we losing?
Gates: before it was whack-a-mole now we're capturing and killing al qaeda
Russert: political solution?
Gates: Iraqi parliament should not have gone on vacation
Russert: are we going to leave?
Gates: who the hell knows
Russert: the DoD thinks Congress asking questions is unpatriotic
Gates: well it could have been a better letter but Cheney was right to say Hillary reinforces enemy propaganda after all Bush is the King of the America Empire
Russert: are you fuckers going to go after Osama or not?
Gates: yes but we would TELL Musharraf first therefore Obama is naive and Bush walks on water
Russert: what should we have in Presidents Doris - loyal, strong, relaxed
Doris K Goodwin: we should look at the candidates and scour their pasts for hints that they are like the presidents i've studied
Russert: how so
Goodwin: the good ones suffered alot and were magnanimous - also Lincoln went to theatre alot
Russert: yeah that worked out real well
Mendell Book: Obama is naive but not specific so he's really cool
Mendell: Obama has an amazing sense of calm and cool he's like a white sidney poitier
Bernstein Book: Hillary can swear like a sailor and she will fuck your shit up
Bernstein: she is smart but a bit of a hater and the Big Dog is her strongest asset
Russert: DailyKos! Lobbyists!
Hillary: i love corporate lobbyists!
Obama: Lobbyists rule this country dudette
Edwards: you don't have personal lobbyists do you
Brody: hey, it's experience vs. newness vs. establishment
Russert, reading books:
Hillary is an arrogant bitch and Obama is an arrogant uppity black man
Goodwin: i hear Hillary can be warm but she has to project it like Reagan and hey ambition is good if it's not like to get rich or something
Bernstein: Hillary can be prickly but her lobbyist answer was pretty honest
Mendell: look Obama is intelligent and people like that can be condescending
Russert: what's Bush's excuse?
Mendell: i dunno but anyone who runs for Prez is ambitious
[Obama on tape]: we are going to smash Pakistan if we have to
Goodwin: hey it's new and different
Brody: Obama knows he needs to project knowledge of foreign affairs what better way than to threaten to kill someone
Russert: people want a new direction and new ideas and they don't trust Hillary
Bernstein: God help us we've got to get behind the curtain and make sure we're not electing another George W. Bush
Mendell: the Iowa voters know what they're doing
Russert: but who wants to know more about people like JFK or Nixon of LBJ -- god i want to know less about these people
Goodwin: who cares about some 6 point plan i want to know how often they masturbate
Russert: why is Rudy leading?
Brody: GOP voters luv themselves some fascism
Russert: irony os Romney dead last nationally but is leading in Iowa
Brody: tehy likey teh mormon
Russert: Dems lead on most issues but not terra, moral values, and homeland security
[ed's note: this is why General Clark is so likely to be on the ticket]
Mendell: Obama learned how to fight Terror in the Illinois State Senate
Goodwin: we know that Rudy was great on 9/11 but what about before that -- of course may have changed after 9/11
Russert: yeah he became even more of an asshole
Berstein: your poll didn't mention honesty
Russert: yes it did, Obama leads and Hillary doesn't
Bernstein: oh well
Brody: the CBN thinks Hillary should admit mistakes that would be really great for her
Goodwin: i just want her talk about her health care debacle and travelgate
Russert: i love it!