Sunday, August 12, 2007

The Chris Matthews Show - August 12, 2007

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The Chris Matthews Show
August 12, 2007
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Matthews: could have a President with cancer?

Ignatius: We need a president with Vigah!!!

Parker: don't lie about that thing on your face, John McCain

Matthews: i like my men rough and ready - i mean how can a Chief Executive who isn't physically strong fight overseas???

Stengel: Our president must be a great athlete - we should elect barry bonds

Matthews: in an age of terrorism presidents must never sleep

Bumiller: George Herbert Walker Bush once broke my ankle

Ignatius: Tsongas lied to me!!!

Matthews: that's why i could never run i'd have to reveal my mental health history

Ignatius: i luv vigorousness

Matthews: i miss my daddy but would he be too old to be president at 104???

Parker: McCain is too old to be driving much less run the country

Ignatius: 50 is the new 70

Matthews: i'm sick of the boomer generation ha ha ha ha here are some tired cliches - what about my daddy??? Or younger brother???

Ignatius: we're all fucking narcissists - except you Tweety you're just Oedipal

Matthews: i hate all 50 million baby boomers everywhere because they're all attention-seekers saying ‘Look At Me’

Parker: jeebus look who's talking Matthews

Bush: [ now watch this drive! ]

Matthews: I hate this guys!!!!

Ignatius: ha ha ha

Parker: i hate boomers too!

Audience: you're all psychotic

[ Clip of The Music Man ]

Matthews: ha i love movies!!

[Dean Scream ]

Matthews: ha ha ha ha ha

Ignatius: everyone knows that Iowa is important therefore it is because we've all bought into it

Matthews: but people who win in Iowa lose elsewhere

Ignatius: yes it’s true what i say makes no sense at all

Bumiller: Iowa is where it's at

Matthews: please tell me Hillary will lose

Parker: could happen

Matthews: but The Big Dog can win it back 4 her

Stengel: Iowa is stupid there’s no secret ballot

Matthews: why do you say that

Stengel: because of what i just said

Matthews: but it's in the middle of America!!

Stengel: there’s no jews, blacks, Hispanics, or normal people

Matthews: but they have mexicans there now

Stegel: yeah i'm sure they vote dood

Matthews: tell me something fun

Parker: the Freepers looking to France to figure out how to win

Stengel: Gore is not going win a Nobel cause it might affect the US election

Bumiller: Rummy sez Iraq is not his fault

Ignatius: the CIA will hire more covert agents who will then be outed by the Republican party

Matthews: GOP flee from Bush?

Parker: yes

Stengel: of course not, Petraus is a whore for Bush

Bumiller: we're withdrawing from Iraq!!

Ignatius: sadly for the White House nuts in September Iraq will still suck

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