Des Moines, Iowa
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Host: George Stephanopoulos
Stephanopoulos: Sen. Clinton Is Obama to young and inexperienced?
Hillary: oh I'm not touching that one dood
Stephanopoulos: but you called him naive and irresponsible
Hillary: Obama gave away a total bargaining chip diplomacy is like playing poker you gotta know when to hold and when to fold em
Dodd (1%): words mean something and we might destabilize Musharraf if we go after al qaeda and we can’t risk doing that do it we need his help in going after al qaeda
Biden: Pakistan is New Most Dangerous Country in the World!! It's Jiahdist Central!
Richardson: hey I hang out with lunatic dictators all the time like at my birthday parties and stuff
Obama: Hillary is afraid to meet with our adversaries and i will -s he dosen'want to go after Osama and I do.
Also, she has a policy of lying to the American people, and I disagree - also I'm the agent of change, and she's totally part of the whole K street lobbyist corporate funding expess
Stephanopoulos: yur a nuke flip flopper
Clinton: no Bush wanted a Bunker Buster and i said no way dood but there are differences for instance I'm a woman and Bill Clinton was the first black president.
Obama: give me a fucking break
Edwards: look at how smooth and friendly and sweet I am I love everybody
Edwards: i won't answer that but i would call on Superman to eliminate all nuclear weapons
[ applause ]
Gravel: we blew the shit out of Iraq and of course that means we should attack Iran - wow I feel like I'm in crazy-land
Richardson: a President should always be clear that's why no candidate should ever clearly answer a hypothetical question
Stephanopoulos: is Rove right Hillary is to negative to win?
Obama: i'm not red or blue and if your're tired of the meanness and division of the Clinton machine, then I'm YOUR GUY
Stephanopoulos: but she's our girl
Obama: I don't want to just win I want to govern well
Edwards: The Democrats won in 2006 cause we were for change
Stephanopoulos: but you weren't even part of that election
Edwards: look i speak sweetly but I will crush the lobbyists and smile while i do it
Clinton: ha ha ha ha Karl Rove is out to get me and why? Because the Clinton machine is vicious and they will fuck your shit up and if you want to win you go with us!!!
Stephanopoulos: but you're The Establishment
Clinton: no I take on the special interests
Stephanopoulos: name one and don't forget I know you
Clinton: I can't think of anything
Edwards: look I love Hillary - I'll never forget those six weeks in the summer of 1996 while Bill was off campaigning
Stephanopoulos: back on topic please
Edwards: oh right Hillary is hot but I've never forgiven her when I caught her in bed with a lobbyist
Dodd (1%): Public financing for campaigns and men's hair dye!
Biden: I'm the only one who cares about Iraq
Richardson: no i have a plan to dictate about how they should divide oil revenues
Biden: c'mon I developed a plan with Leslie Gelding to divide Iraq into little pieces and give them some breathing room and what about the innocents in the Green Zone???
Clinton: let me speak forcefully without actually saying anything specific like we should push the Iraqi government and leave carefully and do some diplomacy people don't like to hear that this is difficult but that's me - I speak vague truths!!
Stephanopoulos: remove all troops?
Clinton: we should move them really slowly I'm mean you ever hire professional movers??? You've got to wrap everything in bubble wrap and stuff
Gravel (0%) Um, what the fuck - Iraq is not our country who the hell are we to dictate to Iraq how they should live?
Stephanopoulos: that's a losing battle dood
Edwards: those Republicans are Bush on steroids!
Obama: can I talk?
Stephanopoulos: no we did you already
Richardson: let's just pull everyone out and watch Iraq explode from far away or add an All-Muslim Peacekeeping Force
Stephanopoulos: that's not a contradiction in terms
Biden: look i'm very depressed and I'll probably drop out soon but first I have to tell you that in our lifetime these people will never agree so we have to separate the angry parties
Stephanopoulos: you're a barrel of laughs
Biden: no there's more - our pals Turkey will attack and our friends of Saudis funding more war -
Biden: We separated Vlad the Impaler and Frankenstein and things worked out well
Obama: let me point out i voted against the war and I point that out because you all talkin' about experience and what did that get you - shit city
Kucinich: defund the war and do it now
E-mail Q from Utah: Do you believe prayer can prevent bridges fall down?
Clinton: well hey i like prayer but you know pass the ammunition
Dodd: i doubt God makes hurricanes happen
Edwards: no you can't prevent a disaster thru prayer
Gravel: praying for war bums me out we need the love, man
Stephanopoulos: wow what drugs are you on
Bill: i'm a big Papist and when you're Catholic lately you have to pray a whole lot
Biden: you have to pray after disasters not before
Obama: prayer is awesome but the real lesson is to pray that you have the ability to act on shit you can control
Kucinich: dood I've been praying to god that you would call on me
Stephanopoulos: small farmers?
Dodd: i love 'em
Edwards: our trade policy is always about benefiting the Big Corporations and not the middle class
Clinton: since we're in Iowa let me bring up my 9- point plan for helping family farmers
Stephanopoulos: of course your prepared answer
Clinton: i'm pro-american -- notice i didn't say anything specific
Obama: no more subisidies for AgriBusiness
Video Q: Tell us all about your lies
Gravel: I can answer that the others are lying
Stephanopoulos: what about your lies
Gravel: i like Matlock!
Biden: dood i always speak my mind and i come from a slave state so you know it's true
Kucinich: the truth you need is on your shoulder
Obama: i'm against global warming but i keep my AC on even durning the winter
Stephanopoulos: what else
Obama: i hate Detroit
Edwards: dood obviously my vote on Iraq see i didn't admit at the time that i was secretly against it see I was right!!!
Clinton: i regret that Bush abused the permission I gave him
Stephanopoulos: for god's sake why
Clinton: he gave me a plastic turkey
Bill Richardson: if you need Saddam to ask the North Koreans to get us hostages from Syria I'm your guy
Dodd: i didn't filibuster over the whole torture law and i promise i will if i'm President
Dodd: I’m against merit pay
Obama: try to get a buy-in from teachers on what they think it works after all no one else seems to give a shit about educating our nation's youth
Clinton: we should hve a school-wide incentive pay like a House Cup schools could play Quidditch and stuff and win new classrooms
Clinton: technology in classrooms
Richardson: a federal minimum wage for teachers and scrap NCLB would also change the all classes and math and science and art and-
Gravel: Iran. No, not Iran, Spain. I mean France. Not Italy. Europe. Who are we going to nuke! Matlock! Three Loins in the Fountain!
Obama: my sister is a poorly paid teacher so I know
Kucinich: we need to have tv ads where a guy shakes his fathers hand and looks him the eye after he becomes a teacher
Biden: school administrators suck we should pay good teachers real money
Q: housing crisis?
Biden: this rabbitt hole is deep!
Obama: we need more regulation of unscrupulous lenders
Dennis: no more bailouts of big lenders the government should take over lending
Stephanopoulos: What is the decisive moment in your life?
Kucinich: i was living in a car and I said no way I want to help people
Obama: i grew up an angry young man and i said enough of this shit I got to get involved
Biden: the civil rights movement
Richardson: when my wife agreed to marry me
[ awwww ]
Gravel: when i learned Matlock was on 5 day a week
Edwards: my father did not go to college but he always tried to learn and that touched me
Dodd: when my Dad told me to run for office
Hillary: my Mom couldn't go to college but gave me the strength to tell Karl Rove to go fuck himself
Stephanopoulos: and that's it