Host:
Martha Raddatz
Reporters:
Richard
Marquardt
Jon
Karl
Cecilia
Vega
Guests:
Rep.
Jason Chaffetz (R-UT)
Michael
Leiter
Cokie
Roberts
Mark
Halperin
Reihan
Salam
LZ
Granderson
Raddatz:
OMG there was a terror
attack in Turkey!
attack in Turkey!
Marquardt:
a bomb went off at a peace rally
Marquardt:
100 people were killed
Marquardt:
it's the worst terror attack
in modern Turkish history
in modern Turkish history
Marquardt:
Turkey broke a truce
with the Kurds
Raddatz:
wow
Leiter:
this is Turkey's 9/11
Raddatz:
goodness
Leiter:
this all a result of the Syria civil war
Raddatz:
amazing
Leiter:
there is no stability in the region
Raddatz:
is seems like we can't
find
any moderates in Syria
Leiter:
yes its disappointing –
we
hoped to find them and we can't
Raddatz:
that's a shame
Leiter:
we can't just make war on ISIS
– we
have to wage war on Assad too!
Raddatz:
Russia bombed Iran
by
accident – why would they do that?
Leiter:
it's a true clusterfuck Martha
Raddatz:
the Iraq military says
they
may have killed al-Baghdadi
Leiter:
thats very nice but it doesn't
change
the realities on the ground
Raddatz:
thanks for coming sunshine
[
break ]
Raddatz:
Biden may run for President and
Cecilia
is on the ground in Delaware covering
every
moment of the non-event
Vega:
all eyes are on Joe Biden!
Vega:
he's dodging questions!
Vega:
sources say he may or may
not run for President
Vega:
polls say he would cut into
Clinton's
big lead by a little bit!
Vega:
Hillary issued a warning to Joe
by
saying people would ask him questions
Vega:
OMG Clinton flip-flopped
on the trade deal
Vega:
holy shit Clinton differs with
Obama on some things!
Vega:
Sanders is drawing huge crowds!
Vega:
oh lordy the GOP is running ads
against Clinton!
Raddatz:
when is the latest date Joe Biden
could enter the race?
Vega:
well he could run as a write-in candidate in November of 2006
Raddatz:
oh my god that's so exciting
Vega:
but no one thinks that will happen
Raddatz:
oh darn
Vega:
some say its already too late
Raddatz:
what about the debate?
Vega:
all eyes on the debate!
Raddatz
I love it!
Vega:
Biden could announce he's
running
for President on the day
of the debate
Raddatz:
that would incredible
Vega:
but no one believes that will happen
Raddatz:
you telling me things
that won't happen
that won't happen
Vega:
also Hillary is a flip-flopper
Raddatz:
woo
[
break ]
Raddatz:
Jon what's going
on
in Washington?
Karl:
the GOP are looking
for
anyone to be Speaker
Raddatz:
how's that coming?
Karl:
they're all begging Paul Ryan to take the job
Issa:
I carried Paul's jock strap!
Cruz:
you're all losers and squishes
Raddatz:
no one wants to be the
second
most powerful person in America?
Karl:
the GOP is in total disarray
Raddatz:
jeez
Karl:
they have a big majority
but
they're divided
Raddatz:
that seems like a problem
Karl:
Trump and Carson are just like
Bernie Sanders because
they have
no experience in government
Raddatz:
but Sanders has been
a Senator for years
a Senator for years
Karl:
don't step on my narrative Martha
Raddatz:
sorry
Karl:
our government is a House
of
Cards about to collapse
Raddatz:
welcome Representative Chaffetz
Chaffetz:
nice to be here Martha
Raddatz:
observers are saying
the
Republican about to cease to
function
as political party
Chaffetz:
about to?
Raddatz:
they're comparing your
search
for a Speaker to a banana republic
and
Game of Thrones
Chaffetz:
this is all Obama's fault
Raddatz:
no doubt
Chaffetz:
we need a very special Speaker
to
sell our very unpopular ideas
Raddatz:
good plan
Chaffetz:
we need a fresh face –
which
is why I'm running
Raddatz:
can you bridge the divide?
Chaffetz:
no I can't but Paul Ryan can
Raddatz:
so you're endorsing him
Chaffetz:
yes but also I'm
saying
if not him – why not me?
Raddatz:
conservatives say
you've
become a liberal squish
Chaffetz:
that's not fair – I've worked on
Benghazi
and Fast and Furious and
many
other fake scandals
Raddatz:
is Paul Ryan running?
Chaffetz:
Paul is a wonderful human
and
visionary – like a combination of
Malala
and Steve Jobs
Raddatz:
he's handsome too
Chaffetz:
he puts it his family first –
which
is why I will be very disappointed
if
he runs for Speaker
Raddatz:
one Tea Party guy says
Paul
Ryan would be the worst speaker ever
Chaffetz:
well he's an idiot
Raddatz:
how do you get along with
nuts like that?
Chaffetz:
re-write the rules of the Congress
Raddatz:
can you win?
Chaffetz:
I have reputation for being
fair
except with my lying charts
Raddatz:
Americans look at
Congress
and think it's in total chaos
Chaffetz:
the American people want
us
to default on the debt to make sure
the
Obama Presidency ends in disaster
Raddatz:
I don't know about that
Chaffetz:
Americans hate Congress
but
also hate the Senate and Obama
Raddatz:
a former Benghazi
staffer
says he was fired for not
hating
Hillary Clinton enough
Chaffetz:
this is totally professional hearing
Raddatz:
well then why would a
staffer say that?
Chaffetz:
I have no idea Martha
[
break ]
Raddatz:
welcome panelists
Raddatz:
Clinton is still the front runner!
Roberts:
you'd never know it
from
the media coverage
Roberts:
she's a good debater
– but
then so is Bernie Sanders
Roberts:
then there are the other losers
who
need this debate to stand out
Raddatz:
will there be fireworks?
Roberts:
we will hear a lot
about
flip-flops – ha ha ha
Raddatz:
David Brooks dislikes
Clinton
– she's doomed
Halperin:
the party fears Bernie Sanders
Raddatz:
of course
Halperin:
the media desperately
wants her to fail
Raddatz:
what about Biden not-running?
Granderson:
do liberals want an
Obama third term?
Raddtaz:
how does Biden run?
Salam:
he should run as a dumb white man
Roberts:
then he'll only get Republican votes
Raddatz:
true
Roberts:
he should also think
about
whether he wants to run
Halperin:
also if he wants to be President
Raddatz:
good suggestions everyone
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