Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT)
Rep. Charlie Dent (R-PA)
Rep. David Brat (D-VA)
Todd: OMG both sides are so extreme!
Todd: Bernie Sanders is a crazy liberal
and the GOP forced out Boehner and McCarthy
Todd: the GOP split has finally
exploded wide open!
Todd: first the crazies forced out
Eric Cantor and then John Boehner
– what is happening?
Todd: can Paul Ryan take over
and stop this madness?
Todd: but conservatives hate Paul Ryan
for backing the Bush Bailout
Todd: the GOP has the biggest majority
since the 1920s and can get anything done
Voter: they're all squishes!
Voter: they're RINOs!
Voter: they're all liberal lite!
Voter: they promise to be
conservatives and then drink the
water and turn into liberal zombies
Trump: I drove John Boehner out!
Todd: Eric Brat drove out Eric Cantor
for being too soft and Charlie Dent
is a non-crazy Republican
Todd: welcome gentlemen –
please feel free to fight
Todd: Brat let's start with you and
your lunatic buddies – what do you want?
Brat: we have $100 trillion in
Brat: the American people want
us to cut Social Security!
Todd: got it
Brat: we also want to expel all immigrants
Todd: anything else
Brat: we'd like to repeal rules
on clean air and clean water
Dent: I understand what the Brat is
saying but we still have to pay our debts
Brat: the American people want
us to slash spending!
Todd: I'm sure
Brat: the elite orchestrate chaos on
purpose so the Beltway class can
spend more and more
Todd: okay but you conservatives
are not even a majority of Republicans
Brat: yes we do – there are 153 of us!
Todd: how nice for you
Brat: even John Maynard Keynes said
you have pay off the debt in the rich good
economic years like we've had under Obama
Dent: stop whining you idiot
Todd: strong words Charlie
Dent: sorry but these assholes piss me off
Hewitt: a pox on both of you!
Hewitt: fie on ye jackanapes!
Hewitt: the world is on fire!
Hewitt: how dare you paralyze
Congress with the world at war!
Brat: fuck you Hugh
Hewitt: why don't you support
Paul Ryan and end the Syrian civil war?
Dent: hey I support Paul Ryan you dipshit
Robinson: isn't the Freedom Caucus
wrecking the fortunes of the
Brat: yes but it doesn't matter –
eleven years America will cease to exist!
Todd: well okay then
Brat: I represent the American people
– Charlie Dent represents lobbyists
Dent: suck my dick you you goatish measle
Brat: piss off you churlish knave
Dent: the world is on fire and
you want to shut down the government
you mewling half-wit
Brat: you support Nancy Pelosi
ye craven bootlicker
Dent: you sided with Pelosi on trade
and the budget you qualing lunkhead
Brat: that fawning rat-face backed
Pelosi on the Ex-Im bank!
Dent: I want to use Congress to save jobs
in Pennsylvania unlike that villianous unchin
Brat: that's crony capitalism
you beslubbering wench
Todd: what about Kevin McCarthy?
Brat: I love that inarticulate squish
Parker: do I get to talk?
[ break ]
Todd: omg Clinton has a huge lead in
Iowa but if we pretend Biden is running
she has a smaller lead!
Todd: same thing in New Hampshire!
Todd: Biden hurts Clinton!
Todd: if Biden runs would the
front runner be Bernie Sanders?
Parker: Todd I beg you – get some therapy
[ break ]
Todd: omg the Democrats are
going to debate and Hillary is
maybe possibly losing!
Todd: welcome Bernie Sanders
Sanders: nice to see you Chet
Todd: how can you change
Washington if Barak Obama couldn't?
Sanders: I respect Obama and he
fixed the economy
Sanders: but first we have
crush the corporate media
Todd: hey hey hey watch it buddy
Sanders: millions of people have
to fight the media and the top 1%
Todd: how do you do that?
Sanders: with millions of followers!
Todd: how do your ideas past
the Republican Congress?
Sanders: increase voter turnout
and create political revolution
Todd: um okay
Sanders: we will make the GOP look
out the window and see a million young
people marching on Washington and they
will be terrified
Todd: Obama tried that with his
young followers and nothing happened
Sanders: yes but Obama is too nice
and tried to work with GOP but they
never intended to give him anything
Todd: true enough
Sanders: look I'll probably lose but
if I win I will have started the revolution
Todd: please bash Hillary Clinton for me
Sanders: I respect and like Clinton
Todd: Senator don't make ask again
Sanders: you're either with Big Money or you're against Big Money
Todd: I'm definitely with them
Sanders: for 25 years I've said
we should be break up the banks
Todd: you're saying Hillary Clinton
cannot be trusted!
cannot be trusted!
Sanders: no I'm not
Todd: that's what I heard
Sanders: I opposed the keystone
pipeline because you don't end
global warming by encouraging drilling
Todd: what about the big trade deal
Sanders: I've opposed all trade agreements
Todd: could you ever support any
Sanders: we're in a race to the bottom!
Sanders: this agreement was
written Wall Street and Big Pharma
– we need to protect the environment
Todd: so who should write the agreements?
Sanders: Big Bird
Todd: you've never supported
any trade agreement
Todd: what about Syria?
Sanders: it's a quagmire inside of a quagmire
Sanders: we should focus on ISIS
Todd: but you didn't support Obama on fighting ISIS
Sanders: because I don't want the U.S.
sucked into a land war in Asia
Todd: all right
Sanders: let the House of Saud get their hands dirty
Todd: I don't think that's a problem
Sanders: they have a huge defense budget!
Todd: you want Saudia Arabia
to puts troops on the ground
Sanders: darn right
Todd: you're okay with drones
Sanders: drones are just a tool
Todd: but you would use
a drone to kill a terrorist?
Sanders: sure thing
Todd: you're a moderate on guns
Sanders: I voted for background checks!
Todd: okay then
Sanders: I support common sense
gun reform and addressing mental health
Todd: how radical you are
Sanders: I am!
Todd: you're going to make us all socialists
Sanders: I have a pair of
pajamas just for you chuck!
Todd: are you a capitalist?
Todd: oh really
Sanders: I'm a democratic socialist
Todd: who are you considering
for your Vice President
Sanders: why – do you need a job?
Sanders: seriously – do you
expect me to answer that?
Sanders: okay then
[ break ]
Todd: Clinton is a total flip flopper!
She even supports gay marriage!
Clinton: the trade deal doesn't
meet my high standards
Todd: but Clinton supported the
TPP in her book!
Todd: are you a calculating flip-flopper?
Clinton: no I change my mind
based on new facts
Todd: she's a flip-flopper isn't she?
Parker: of course – but maybe she
really did change her mind because
of new information
Todd: you disappoint me Kathy
Gonzales: Democrats think
Clinton will win the White House
Todd: just like Mitt Romney
who went on to lose!
Hewitt: Clinton is a criminal and
a disaster and she will lose
Robinson: yeah okay whatever Hugh
Todd: first McCarthy says
the Benghazi committee was just for
getting Hillary and now this this fired
aide says the same thing
Hewitt: I love the Benghazi committee!
Peter Hart: Biden should run
for one term and unite America
Parker: Obama tried that and
yet Alabama is still racist
Parker: the one-term thing is a good idea
Todd: I'm told if Biden doesn't run
then he won't be running
Gonzales: Democrats love Joe Biden
but want Clinton to be President
Todd: what about GOP on GOP violence?
Hewitt: General McChrystal and
Bill Kristol and Codi Rice should
unite the GOP in a cocoon of crazy
Parker: Paul Ryan is liked and brainy
but the crazies will destroy him
Robinson: if Ryan is the future of
the GOP – why would they want to
ruin this poor lamb
Parker: Trump for Speaker –
he'll knock skulls around
Todd: what we don't talk about
when we don't talk about Ted Cruz
Gonzales: Ted Cruz is more likely to be
President than Donald Trump because
on paper he appeals to the right wing
Todd: but not in reality
Robinson: Cruz is plausible
but he's not an outsider
Parker: he's outsider enough
to be widely hated
Todd: Cruz can still win though!
Todd: we are still on the verge
of a Cruz Moment – mark my words
Todd: omg Mike Bloomberg didn't
completely rule out running for President!
Audience: bangs head on desk
Todd: rule outbreak
Bloomberg: I'm not running for President
Todd: it wasn't Sherman-esque!
Gonzales: dude he's not running
Todd: sure he's not –
but it's fun to talk about
Hewitt: I hope Bloomberg runs
– the gun lobby will kill him
Todd: but not literally
Robinson: this is stupid –
he can't possibly get elected
Todd: doesn't this prove Clinton is weak?
Parker: yes – she's terrible
Todd: Sanders and Trump are crazy –
there is an opening for the middle centrists!
Gonzales: oh baloney
Parker: Obama is an extremist
who alienates independents
Hewitt: the whole world is at war!
Todd: and that's another
episode of Meet the Press