Guests:
Donald
Trump
Rep.
Keith Ellison (D-MN)
Rep.
Tom Cole (R-OK)
Greta
Van Susteren
Matt
Bai
Stephanopoulos:
omg there was
another mass shooting
Obama:
somehow mass shootings
have
become routine! We've become
numb to this!
Stephanopoulos:
welcome Donald Trump
Trump:
yo
Stephanopoulos:
President Obama
says we have
too much mass murder
and need gun control
Trump:
Obama is a great divider!
Stephanopoulos:
really?
Trump:
yes because in two million
years
you will still have massacres
Stephanopoulos:
but these shootings
only
seem to happen in America which
just
happens to have more guns than people
Trump:
but Chicago has tough
gun
laws and are lots of killings
Stephanopoulos:
so as President
you
would do nothing at all
Trump:
yes because in a million
years
this will still happen
Stephanopoulos:
I see
Trump:
no matter what you do
you
will always have gun massacres
Stephanopoulos:
well that's too bad
Trump:
you will always have this!
Stephanopoulos:
but you're Mister Fix-It
Trump:
I used to be but now
I'm
“Mister Nothing To be Done”
Stephanopoulos:
right
Trump:
no matter what we do Americans
will
constantly use portable killing machines
to
kill each other in large numbers
Stephanopoulos:
oh well what can you do?
Trump:
you can politically correct
and
say I will solve the problem
but
this can't be solved
Stephanopoulos:
okay then let's
move
on from mass death
Trump:
that's probably best
Stephanopoulos:
your tax plan would
increase
the debt by 10 trillion dollars
Trump:
that's not going to happen
because
of all the jobs I will create
Stephanopoulos:
oh okay then
Trump:
also I will eliminate the
Department of Education
Stephanopoulos:
will your plan
cost you money
Trump:
yes because of carried interest
Stephanopoulos:
but you would
slash the
top tax rate which is a
great gift to very rich
Trump:
that's true but the rich would
put
that money would back into the economy
Stephanopoulos:
they would
Trump:
yes if you are poor and build
mega-yachts
or work for Sotheby's
this
is your lucky day
Stephanopoulos:
the good news
just keeps coming
Trump:
I will would pay more
under my tax plan!
Stephanopoulos:
no you wouldn't
Trump:
well I don't like taxes anyway
Stephanopoulos:
your family would inherit
billions
without paying a cent in taxes
Trump:
the estate tax destroys family farms
Stephanopoulos:
oh come on
Trump:
the death tax is a tragedy and a double tax
Stephanopoulos:
so you would
do very well under you plan
Trump:
everyone would do great!
Stephanopoulos:
will you release your tax returns?
Trump:
when Hillary releases her e-mails
Stephanopoulos:
she already did
Trump:
the Iran deal is bad!
Stephanopoulos:
back to your taxes
Trump:
I'm proud that I fight to
pay
as little taxes as possible
Stephanopoulos:
I'm proud I
asked
Obama about flag pins
Trump:
I like you George
Stephanopoulos:
what about Syria?
Trump:
I want to sit back
and
see what happens
Stephanopoulos:
that's all?
Trump:
I think Russia might
be
trapped in in Syria like they
were
in Afghanistan
Stephanopoulos:
or Luke on Cloud City
Trump:
they're bombing ISIS!
Stephanopoulos:
actually they're not
Trump:
why should we get involved in
some
stupid mideast war to support rebels
who
are probably terrorists
Stephanopoulos:
well why not
Trump:
the U.S. fucked up Iraq and Libya
Stephanopoulos:
that's true
Trump:
and now we want
to
do it again in Syria?
Stephanopoulos:
you said we should take
in
refugees and then said we shouldn't
Trump:
in all the photos of the refugees
where
are all the women and children?
Stephanopoulos:
well some of then are short
Trump:
we don't know who these people are
– this
fake refugee crisis is the greatest
Trojan
horse since American Pharoah
Stephanopoulos:
whoah
Trump:
we screwed up the Middle East
so
these refugees probably want to
escape
the war and kill us
Stephanopoulos:
that checks out
Trump:
if I'm President I am sending
every
Syria refugee back
Stephanopoulos:
back – to the future!
Trump:
are they ISIS? Probably not
Stephanopoulos:
um okay
Trump:
we don't know who they are!
Stephanopoulos:
what kind of first
lady
would Melania be
Trump:
she would be a beautiful
and
classy first lady
Stephanopoulos:
of course
Trump:
she thinks Jeb is terrible
on
women's health issues
Stephanopoulos:
is that right?
Trump:
my wife and daughter come up
to
me all the time and say 'Donald you
are
so great for the women'
Stephanopoulos:
you're doing
well in this race
Trump:
I've had a lot of fun with this
Stephanopoulos:
well that's the important thing
Trump:
politicians are all talk and no action
Stephanopoulos:
unlike you
Trump:
the debates had high
ratings because of me!
Stephanopoulos:
when will you drop out?
Trump:
I'm beating two politicians
from
Florida – in Florida!
Stephanopoulos:
impressive
Trump:
if I were losing I would drop out
– I
got better things to do
Stephanopoulos:
no doubt
Trump:
but now I'm loving it
and
having fun
Stephanopoulos:
great
Trump:
but its not just about me
having
fun – it's about making
America
great again
[
break ]
Stephanopoulos:
well gang there was
another
yet mass shooting at a school
Obama:
I'm sick of these
fucking
mass shootings!
Stephanopoulos:
he seems riled up
Van
Susteren: murder has now
become
a political issue
Stephanopoulos:
amazing
Van
Susteren: the guns are out there
so
gun control laws won't change anything
Stephanopoulos:
oh never mind then
Van
Susteren: so maybe regulate ammunition
Stephanopoulos:
interesting
Van
Susteren: no one wants real solutions
– they
just want to fund raise off this
Cole:
in Congress it's all about mental illness
Stephanopoulos:
but why does this
only
happen in America?
Ellison:
we can still do something
on
background checks and high
capacity magazines
Van
Susteren: but there's a huge black market in guns
Ellison:
that what's we to pass national laws!
Stephanopoulos:
what can we realistically do?
Ellison:
allow the CDC to study gun deaths!
Bai:
how do you balance the right of
mentally
ill people to own lots of machine
guns
against the right not to be murdered
Stephanopoulos:
should we forcibly
institutionalize
people?
Cole:
I'm in Congress and that
might be a good idea
Ellison:
throwing up our hands is defeatist
Van
Susteren: don't forget evil
Bai:
should evil people be permitted
to
stockpile military weapons?
Van
Susteren: video games make
young
people want to kill strangers
Ellison:
they have video games in England!
Stephanopoulos:
those appeased
Hitler
so what do they know
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