Host: Martha Raddatz
Raddatz: OMG in a stunning development
Donald Trump leads in the polls but
by not as much!
Raddatz: oh wow Ben Carson
has almost caught up!
Raddatz: Carly Fiorina way behind
but she's surging!
Raddatz: and Bernie Sanders is
within seven points of Clinton!
Raddatz: and I almost forgot
– John Boehner quit!
Boehner: hell no!
Tea party: hell no John
Boehner has to go!
Boehner: fuck this shit
Karl: everyone hates the GOP
leaders in Washington
Karl: Boehner wanted a Pope to visit
Congress for 20 years and when he
finally got one he said 'I'm outta here'
Boehner: I just woke up and said
'today's the day'
Karl: he seems positively relieved
what a wonderful day!
Raddatz: welcome Dr Carson
Carson: hi Martha
Raddatz: is it good that
John Boehner is leaving?
Carson: he was a great
guy but also a loser
Raddatz: you think he worked
with Democrats too much
Carson: it's time to move on
to someone really destructive
Raddatz: you are tied with Donald Trump
Carson: the American people are thinking
for themselves and will get us off the
inevitable path of total destruction we are on
Raddatz: you say immigrants are from
hardened criminals from Iraq and Syria
and Russia – is there any evidence for that?
Carson: Obama's government says they're
not terrorists but that's what they would say
Raddatz: is the federal government
working against the American people?
Carson: yes Obama releases murderers
into our country – what is wrong with him?
Raddatz: you said Islam is not
consistent with the Constitution
Carson: no I said all religious
people must renounce their
religion except Christians
Raddatz: no you said a Muslim can't be President
Carson: Islam and sharia are crazy
what with the fatwas and such
Raddatz: I see
Carson: they oppose the rights of gays
which are enshrined in our Constitution!
Raddatz: you say we can't take Syria
refugees because they might be terrorists
Carson: that's just common sense
Raddatz: should religion be probable
cause to execute a search warrant
Raddatz: you want a large
cyber attack on China
Carson: right - we cant just sit
around and do nothing!
Raddatz: okay then
Carson: also we need to be strong
and control outer space
Raddatz: did Kanye West call you?
Carson: yes I was extremely impressed
with his business acumen and
I was hoping he might write music
that help women learn their value
Raddatz: would support Kanye
for President in 2020?
Carson: why the hell not
Raddatz: thanks for coming Doc
Carson: you too Mia
[ break ]
Raddatz: Newt you saw Boehner recently –
did you know he was going to resign?
Gingrich: no but in retrospect it was perfect
– he's a devout catholic and meeting
the Pope was the best he could hope
to achieve in this life
Raddatz: you also quit Congress like he did
Gingrich: we both faced an angry minority
which threatened utter chaos
Raddatz: charming base you've got there
Gingrich: even if Boehner won the
fight anyone who supported him
would face a vicious primary
Raddatz: what led to this level
of irrational anger?
Gingrich: everyone loves an outsider –
you have all the righteousness and
none of the responsibility
Raddatz: good point
Gingrich: this is the wrong time
for someone like Boehner –
extreme but not insane
Raddatz: who is going to win the election?
Gingrich: we're definitely going to the
Presidency with Trump or Carson or Fiorina
Raddatz: you're joking right
Gingrich: no I'm perfectly serious
Raddatz: all right then
[ break ]
Raddatz: Boehner quit! Will this cause chaos?
Kristol: chaos is a ladder
Costa: Boehner will work with Obama
and then flee the city ahead of tea
party pitchforks and torches
Brazile: the Republicans are in total disarray
Dowd: the GOP are upset that
are fewer white people in America
Kristol: not fair!
Costa: they want Boehner to be
Brazile: but they don't have the votes!
Kristol: Boehner is weak unlike
Dowd: the Pope Francis effect
will destroy Donald Trump
Raddatz: it's stunning that
Carson is catching Trump
Costa: Trump isn't going anywhere
Kristol: 52% of primary voters want
someone who have never held elected
office before – that's amazing
Brazile: Donald Trump talks
loud and says nothing!