Host:
Martha Raddatz
Guests:
Steve
Ganyard
Jeff
Zeleny
Capt.
Steven Foley – USS Sampson
Dr.
Anthony Fauci
Rep.
Mia Mia Love (R-UT)
Sen.-elect
Ben Sasse (R-NE)
Sen.-elect
Thom Tillis (R-NC)
Reporter:
how does a jet just fall down?
Rex
Ryan: don't
blame me
Reporter:
it
could
have
been
turbulence
or bad weather or pilot error
Expert:
or a sudden catastrophic
failure
Reporter:
like a wing fell off?
Expert:
or a bomb
Raddatz:
well which is it guys
Reporter:
we need the black boxes martha
Raddatz:
ok ok
Raddatz:
welcome Commander Foley
Foley:
I'm
coming to you live
from
the U.S. Navy where we're
searching
for the plane in the Java Sea
Raddatz:
what special tools are you using?
Foley:
optics and lookouts
Raddatz:
you mean-
Foley:
we're looking for it
Raddatz:
what problems have you found?
Foley:
murky
waters and
thunderstorms
and one sharknado
Raddatz:
I've heard they found the tail
Ganyard:
well I'm from Missouri
so
I'm skeptical
Raddatz:
right
Ganyard:
some random person
on
Facebook
says now
she
is
terrified
to fly now
Ganyard:
it's been a half century
since
a plane crashed due to turbulence
Raddatz:
until now
Ganyard:
touche
Raddatz:
they pilot wanted to
ascend
and they said no
Ganyard:
he should done it
first
then asked permission
Raddatz:
why did it crash?
Ganyard:
no idea
Raddatz:
for
reals?
Ganyard:
it just disappeared
Raddatz:
could it be ice in the engine?
Ganyard:
maybe but these
planes
are built to fly when
it's cold
Raddatz:
would
it be easier to find
the
black boxes if they're weren't black
Ganyard:
actually they're orange
Raddatz:
you just blew my mind
[
break ]
Raddatz:
OMG there's a
flu
epidemic and we're all gonna die!!
Audience:
eek
Raddatz:
how
soon will all
have
the flu and expire?
Fauci:
it depends on how it evolves
Raddatz:
if you believe in evolution
Fauci:
true
Raddatz:
could it become
a
zombie apocalypse?
Fauci:
it's possible
Raddatz:
ye
gods
Fauci:
it's very
difficult
to predict
Raddatz:
flu shots don't work do they?
Fauci:
not really
Raddatz:
so should people
bother
getting one?
Fauci:
yes because the flu vaccine
protects
against cooties
Raddatz:
I see
Fauci:
it's all science martha
Raddatz:
why don't vaccines work better?
Fauci:
because the flu virus has
achieved
self awareness and
is
now
smarter than people
Raddatz:
amazing
Fauci:
I for one welcome
our
new virus overlords
Raddatz:
Virus / Bacteria 2016
Fauci:
why not
Raddatz:
thanks for coming
Raddatz:
omg the GOP is going
to
run Washington sort of
Zeleny:
they're
not really outsiders
since
most new Senators are from
the
House or state government
Zeleny:
you're
part of the 'hell
no'
caucus
Cotton:
hell yes
Zeleny:
Republicans
have to decide
how
much time to waste trying to
repeal
Obamacare and running for President
Raddatz:
omg
Mia Love is the
first
black female Republican ever
Raddatz:
can
you prove Congress
isn't
dysfunctional?
Sasse:
yes if we pass a budget
Tillis:
yes if we act functional
then
we can finally create jobs
Raddatz:
do
you believe the President
wants
to work with Congress?
Love:
we should put decisions back
in
the hands of the American people
Raddatz:
would
vote to pay America's debts
Sasse:
not
unless Obama agrees
to
slash Medicaid
Tillis:
darn right
Raddatz:
Obamacare?
Love:
repeal it!
Raddatz:
really?
Love:
that's what the people want Martha
Tillis:
we need to send bills
to
Obama
he will actually sign like
building
a big pipeline
Raddatz:
your
colleague Steve Scalise
spoke
to white supremacists –
does
that bother you?
Love:
Steve is wonderful!
Raddatz:
he
should be really be
the
number three leader in the House?
Love:
yes he should because he
has
the single
best
quality in a
leader
which is humility
Raddatz:
he
has a lot to be humble about
Love:
that's very true
Raddatz:
Congress
is very unpopular
Sasse:
the American people want
Washington
to be humble
Raddatz:
that
seems to be the word of the day
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