John Barrasso (R-WY)
Amy Klobuchar (D-MN)
Lt. Gen. Daniel Bolger (Ret.)
Mayor Muriel Bowser – Washington D.C.
Cathy Lanier – Chief of Police,
Kaya Henderson – Chancellor of D.C. schools
Todd: good morning and welcome to 2015!
Todd: Obama lost the midterms but
he won the lame duck is reading to fight!
Todd: but the GOP wants to take him on
Obama: I'll have to start vetoing
shit like a boss
Todd: but know it turns out the
majority whip spoke to a white
Boehner: Steve is man of high integrity
who almost never speaks to white supremacists
Todd: tea partiers are mad about
the double standard against their kind
Hannity: Boehener should resign –
you got rid of our racists
Lott: some of wish the segregationist
had won and we wouldn't have had
all these problems with inregration!
Biden: Obamacare rocks
GOP: Obamacare caused the
recession in 2007
Todd: should Scalise serve in the leadership?
Barrasso: it was a grave mistake
but he's not a racist
Todd: maybe not but does it send
the wrong message when Republicans
are trying to reach out to minorities
Barrasso: well white supremacists
are definitely in the minority
Todd: even so the GOP needs to reach
out blacks and hispanics and this won't help
Barrasso: true but the debt is high
so it doesn't matter
Klobuchar: if you care so much do something about it
Todd: like what?
Klobuchar: like confirm Loretta Lynch
and pass the Voting Rights Act
Todd: how about that?
Barrasso: I can't vote for the new
Attorney General since Obama said
he would let immigrants stay in America
which they would do anyway
Todd: what is the GOP going to
do with their new majority?
Barrasso: pass a jobs bill to build a massive
pipeline across Americans' back yards
Klobuchar: Congress should not
be in the business of demanding
pipelines be built
Todd: do you support the pipeline?
Klob: America is the number one oil
producer in the world! We beat Saudi Arabia!
Klob: but if pipelines create jobs
then let's do infrastructure
Todd: are you going to hold another
54 votes to repeal Obamacare again?
Barrasso: yes but only the bad
parts and not the good parts
Todd: I see
Barrasso: we'll vote to get rid of the
mandates and taxes but keep the giveaways
Barrasso: Obamacare caused
the recession in 2007!
Todd: if you repeal the taxes how
does Obamacare get paid for?
Klobuchar: we are looking at a tax on goatees
Klobuchar: we've had 57 straight
months of job growth
Todd: can Congress get anything done?
[ break ]
Todd: can Scalise survive one more
week after which the media will
get bored and move on
Stanton: yes unless he spoke to
another racist group or did something
really disqualifying like talk bad about guns
Todd: Andrea they got Trent Lott
Mitchell: he's the whip!
Todd: whip it good!
Mitchell: there is no way he didn't
know David Duke was a racist
Todd: banners saying 'White Power'
were hanging from the ceiling which
is often a sign you're talking to
a white supremacist group
Bai: GOP often indulges dark forces
made of white people?
Todd: what happens in DC in 2015?
Cooper: total gridlock
Todd: but they said they
want to work together
Cooper: well that's baloney
Todd: no cooperation?
Cooper: not when they're talking
to the Ku Klux Klan
Todd: can the GOP can Democratic
votes in the Senate?
Stanton: maybe on different issues
Mitchell: which Dems will support
the President on trade?
Todd: look to the the coasts Andrea
– look to the coasts
[ break ]
Todd: the war in Afghanistan is over
except it isn't
Todd: we still have 11,000 troops
there and 3,000 in Iraq and
both are in chaos
Engel: 2014 was the year the
middle east imploded which
was a great surprise to America
which thought they had fixed it with bombs
Engel: the Afghan war ended this year too
Obama: the war is over and we won!
Engel: the war isn't over and
we didn't win and we're not leaving
Todd: when are going to finally
leave the middle east?
Engel: never – is never good for you?
Todd: I guess so
Engel: we're never leaving the middle east
and we're in a permanent state of war
Todd: thanks richard
[ break ]
Todd: General you said we
lost the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan
Bolger: that's right Chuck
Todd: that's disturbing
Bolger: we're in damage control now
Todd: so what do we do?
Chays: there is no military
solution to these wars
Todd: but we have such an awesome military
Chays: it's a conundrum
Todd: why can't our incredible
military win wars?
Bolger: the U.S. military can win
any battle easily but the American
people aren't interested in real
commitment and sacrifice
Todd: we can't just walk away from
the wonderful countries we so
Chays: civilians need to step up to the plate
Todd: Andrea you're an expert on war
Mitchell: the American people get
all emotional after a beheading but
they really don't have a stomach for a fight
Todd: no one wants to criticize
the military so we pretend like
they're supermen who can do anything
Cooper: sure in New York City people
have no connection to the military
but in wonderful bucolic small towns
people love the military
Todd: small-town America and
immigrants are fighting our wars
– no one from New York city ever fights
Todd: maybe there is no military
solution to terror
Bai: the next election could be
a debate on endless war
Todd: foreign policy could be
the dominant topic of 2016
Stanton: there was a car
bombing targeting pro-Americans
today in Somalia!
Stanton: but what do you about
it but send in troops which no
one rational person wants to do
Todd: except for John McCain
Stanton: um right
[ break ]
Todd: Mario Cuomo was a liberal icon
– like Obama was in the 2000s or Elizabeth
Warren in the twentyteens
Todd: in 1984 Cuomo became the
leading voice of American liberalism
Audience: and Mary Lou Retton
became the face of American cuteism
Todd: he said politicians campaign
in poetry and govern in prose
Audience: and lobby in steakhouses
Todd: he stood against the death
penalty when killing people was all the rage
Audience: kill! kill! After a
twenty-year appeals process! Kill!
Todd: but he will best remembered
for not becoming leader of the free
world so he could work on the state
budget with Joe Bruno
Bruno: my conviction was overturned!
Todd: he showed his sharp sense of
humor in his 11 appearances
on Meet the Press
Cuomo: I'll use small words for Dan Quayle
Todd: why didn't he run for President?
Auletta: he was a thinker and
writer and disliked adulation
[ break ]
Todd: wow Americans are happier
than they have been in a decade
Audience: not us
Todd: even white people are optimistic
and they usually hate everything
White people: damn white people suck
Todd: people in cities are really
happy but the hicks are up too
Hipster: in 2014 my beard got thicker!
Farmer: so did my non-ironic beard!
Todd: old people are still grumpy
but you know how they are
Old People: twenty dickety four sucked!
Todd: in 2004 Republicans were happy
and in 2014 Democrats are happy well
guess who is in the White House ha ha
GOP: cheap gas will wreck America!
[ break ]
Todd: welcome Mayor Bowser
Bowser: hi Todd
Todd: Washington D.C. has long been
a run-down hellhole and that's not even
counting that boarding house where
Chuck Schumer lives with a bunch
of loser House members
Bowser: Washington has come a
long way and we're a city on the move
Todd: what do you need from the Congress?
Bowser: we're doing just fine Chuck
Todd: but you have a big budget shortfall
Bowser: we just need Congress
to butt out of our business
Todd: but they want to ban abortion
Bowser: we want them to
respect the people of this city
Todd: Congress also wants to
ban marijuana in your town
Bowser: so screw the will of
the people of the city
Todd: will you sue Congress?
Bowser: I don't want to
Todd: will you?
Bowser: I might
Todd: you're the Chief of Police
and you're a woman
Lanier: no one cares as long
as you do your job
Todd: school reform has been
a big deal since forever
Henderson: school satisfaction
is at an all-time high!
Henderson: parents are finally
choosing DC public schools
Todd: are they really?
Henderson: yes they're pulling
out of private schools
Todd: oh year I totally believe that
Todd: Chief Lanier why haven't
there been more riots in DC?
Lanier: well there that time
the House ran out of Navy bean soup
Todd: who could forget Rand Paul
smashing the bust of James Buchanan
through the cafeteria window
Lanier: you can't just react
to crises you have to work with
the community on a daily basis
Todd: what about statehood
for Washington D.C.?
Todd: would you settle for being
a district in Virginia or Maryland?
Bowser: hell no
Todd: thanks ladies
Todd: Brooke was the first
African-American elected to
the Senate since Reconstruction
Todd: he was a moderate
Republican of Brahmin bearing
Todd: Stephen Colbert told
me I would never get through
a single episode without
Todd: well he was right – Mike Huckabee
is running and I'm so excited!!
Huckabee: I love my Fox tv show but
God wants me to run for President
Todd: Jeb Bush has moved the timetable up
Bai: I think all the media is rushing
to cover a bunch of nonsense
Todd: how about that Andrea
Mitchell: Huckabee helps Jeb by
splitting up the crazytown vote
Stanton: I doubt Huck is really running
Todd: maybe but he quit a job paying
millions to spout nonsense on tv –
that's a good gig and I ought to know
Copper: I can't believe we're
already talking about the 2016 race!
Mitchell: but Obama announced in February
Todd: that's right Helene
Copper: ok ok
Todd: you've got to move on
from Denial to Grief in the seven
stages of covering a Presidential race
Todd: new laws in America include
Drew Bledsoe's law which lets him
ship wine from Michigan to Massachusetts
and the law allowing you to hide
that your house is really a meth lab
Todd: and in New York it will be
illegal to take a selfie
Copper: oh thank god
Todd: with a live tiger
Mitchell: well there goes my weekend
Todd: and that's another
episode of Meet the Press