Sunday, February 09, 2014

Meet The Press – February 9, 2014


Guests:
Richard Engel

David Brooks

E.J. Dionne

Andrea Mitchell

Mike Needham – Heritage Action

Mona Sutphen

Michael McFaul (U.S. Ambassador to Russia)

Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY)

Sen. Rob Portman (R-OH)

Amie Parnes

Jonathan Allen



Gregory: OMG the Olympics games

have started and we already had

our first attempted hijacking



Audience: wow



Gregory: also coming up today

Edward Snowden and Hillary Clinton

revenge and loyalty!



[ break ]



Gregory: talk terror to me Andrea



Mitchell: everyone is in total panic 
stage right now



Gregory: [ grinning ]

how does this impact the U.S.???



Dionne: we should permanently move

the Summer Olympics to Greece

and the Winter Games to Japan or Chile

and the Hunger Games to West Virginia



Brooks: the Games are now used

to prop up aging dictators and corrupt officials



Gregory: Richard you're actually in Russia



Engel: there are 70,000 troops,

anti-aircraft rockets and

two new cities and more

all of which cost $50 billion



Greg: good lord



Engel: these games are a signal

that the Russian empire is back

and better than ever



Gregory: I love it



Engel: but Ukraine is cracking up

and a US diplomat said fuck the EU



Gregory: ha ha that's hilarious



Engel: Putin leaked that tape

to keep Ukraine in Russia's orbit



Gregory: ambassador show terrified should I be?



McFaul: the threat level is high



Gregory: but Russia won't share

information with us which puts

our snowboarders and skaters in danger



McFaul: we're all on the same page here



Gregory: U.S.–Russia relations are bad

look at Ed Snowden and the whole EU thing



McFaul: we're BFFs when it comes

to Iran and Syria and Afghanistan –

we both agree those are awful quagmires

no sane nation wants a piece of



Gregory: oh come on – Putin is

an evil fucker – look at Snowden

and how Vlad is bugging Americans!



McFaul: spying on phone calls

is totally legal here



Gregory: cripes



McFaul: they leaked my phone calls

which I thought were private –

ironic that critics of the U.S.

don't mention that



Gregory: Putin didn't support our

fun Iraq war – are they a friend or foe?



McFaul: that's a stupid way of phrasing it



Gregory: just answer the question



McFaul: nations don't have friends

they have interests



Gregory: family members have asked

me 'Fluffy what's the deal with Russia?'



McFaul: Obama is not afraid to criticize

Russian human rights including

the whole anti-gay thing



Gregory: did they get our message?



McFaul: oh they got it trust me



Gregory: well then when will Russia

have gay rights in response to US demands?



McFaul: huh?



Gregory: is Ed Snowden a

spy for the Russians?



McFaul: we want Ed Snowden to

come home and face charges



Gregory: how many medals will America win?



McFaul: I'm a diplomat not a

sports expert – but I really

want to beat Russia!



Gregory: ha ha thanks for coming



[ break ]



Gregory: OMG Hillary Clinton might

run for President but Benghazi and Monica!



Audience: oh noe



Gregory: Clinton's staff has a hit list

of people insufficiently loyal to Hillary



Gregory: [ grinning ] tell me about

the dark side of Team Clinton



Allen: Bill Clinton kept an enemies list

and then exacted revenge



Parnes: they scared the hell

out of Claire McCaskill



Gregory: she has a 'bias for action'

but the truth was she thought

there should be a US presence

in Libya even though people could be killed



Allen: she's biased against doing nothing



Gregory: Republicans say she is too

eager to commit troops overseas unlike them



Parnes: her hawkishness bothers liberals too



Gregory: Monica Lewinsky!!



Parnes: if Bill Clinton will support her

like he supported Obama she's got it made



Gregory: why wouldn't he?



Allen: he's got a blind spot when

it comes to Hillary



Gregory: interesting



Allen: Obama figured out who

to use Bill Clinton



Gregory: he's a smart guy



Gregory: David Petraeus said she's tremendous



Parnes: she's not gregarious but

she grows on people



Gregory: will she run for President?



Allen: she's already running



Gregory: I love it!



[ break ]



Gregory: Rand Paul says Bill Clinton

doesn't respect young women!



Needham: Obamacare!



Gregory: what else?



Needham: O-bam-a-care!



Gregory: Benghazi!



Sutphen: calm down you two



Mitchell: the campaign is under way

she's got the big money people on speed dial



Gregory: Who will she run as?



Dionne: she can be either an

Obama insider or DC outsider



Gregory: interesting but Bill Clinton 
had an affair



Dionne: the American people think

he can screw anyone he wants if it

means peace and prosperity



Mitchell: what if Obama is defeated in 2014?



Brooks: Jerry Brown will challenge 
her from the left!



Needham: Bill Clinton used to be a

moderate and now he supports

marxists like DeBlasio



Dionne: who invited this idiot?



Gregory: I did!



Needham: the central park horses

deserve freedom from DeBlasio's

fascist government!



Sutphen: I heard you were all morons



Brooks: Hillary can't get past

Brian Schweitzer in the primaries



Mitchell: has Hillary ever actually

accomplished anything?



Gregory: the Wall Street Journal

said Obamacare will cost 2 million jobs



Dionne: actually they said it will create jobs



Gregory: I heard that



Dionne: Obamacare promotes

choice and family values



Gregory: that's too complicated

for people too understand



Brooks: we need women to leave

their children and go to work for the

benefit of The Fatherland



Sutphen: too many entrepreneurs

feel tied down to their jobs

by needing health care



Needham: Mitt Romney created jobs!

The CBO said Obamacare would cost jobs!



Mitchell: that's a lie



Gregory: let the debate continue!



[ break ]



Gregory: Chuck after the CBO report said

Obamacare would allow people job

flexibility are you on the

defensive on Obamacare?



Schumer: last time I checked

freedom is a good thing



Gregory: maybe



Schumer: spending time with

children is a family value



Gregory: I suppose



Schumer: if people leave their jobs

others will take those jobs unless

we have full employment



Portman: we need more people in the

workforce whether they want to be or not



Gregory: good point



Portman: also Obamacare hurts businesses



Gregory: I see



Portman: also Obamacare raises taxes



Gregory: you voted against extending

unemployment benefits – why?



Portman: that was the Democrats' fault



Gregory: okay



Portman: Democrats say

'let's do nothing to help people'



Gregory: I don't remember that



Portman: if we extend unemployment

benefits it will increase the debt which

will hurt the economy



Schumer: you're all bunch of sadists



Gregory: what about immigration reform?



Schumer: they say they don't trust

Obama but he's deported more

people than anyone else



Gregory: maybe but they hate

Obama and they run the House



Schumer: so put off enforcement until

after Obama is out of office



Portman: that's a good idea but the

now the GOP demands that we build

a 100 foot high wall around Mexico



Gregory: thanks for coming guys



[ break ]



Gregory: Did Schumer just have a

great idea to pass immigration reform?



Dionne: no he just called 
the Republicans' bluff



Needham: the American people don't

want bills about ski instructors they

want 11 million people forcibly deported!



Brooks: this issue comes down to

who runs the GOP – idiots or morons?



Sutphen: please get me out of here



Mitchell: the GOP is cracking up



Needham: I'm having a party

tomorrow and you should all come



Brooks: no thanks stupid



Needham: we hate lobbyists

and Hillary Clinton



Mitchell: you are a lobbyist



Brooks: he's an idiot



Gregory: and that's another

episode of Meet The Press




1 comment:

Jay said...

"Who runs the GOP – idiots or morons?" ought to be a bumper sticker.