Sunday, December 29, 2013

Meet The Press – December 29, 2013

David Kirkpatrick (NYT)
Rep. Darrell Issa (R-CA)
Rep. Joaquin Castro (D-TX)
Ben Wizner
Harry Smith
Franklin Graham
Eugene Robinson
Robin Wright
Dr. Peter Stearns
Andrea Mitchell
Elliott Abrams

Gregory: OMG a NYT report says al-qaeda 
was not involved in Benghazi and it was 
in response to a video like the administration said!

Audience: oooh

Gregory: how does this make Obama 
look bad – we'll take a look

Gregory: you investigated and concluded
no evidence of Al Qaeda involvement
and fueled by anger over a video – 
how do you know for sure?

Kirkpatrick: everyone knows this – 
it was all local people

Gregory: hmmm

Kirkpatrick: there's no chance it was al qeada

Gregory: but Republicans say it was

Kirkpatrick: if you call people who hate
democracy al qeada maybe but the
GOP hates democracy too

Gregory: Susan Rice said it was
spontaneous and in response to a video

Kirkpatrick: it was not exactly a copycat –
it was armed men but not al qaeda

Mitchell: was it pure uncut terrorism
or impure terrorism?

Gregory: good question

Mitchell: everyone covered up the
fact that this was a CIA outpost

Gregory: who cares – people died
and Obama basically killed them

Kirkpatrick:  missions in places 
like Libya are usually so safe

[ break ]

Issa: the American people were lied to!!
It was never about a video!

Gregory: were you wrong about that?

Issa: it must have been terrorism 
because Benghazi is a small town
with no access to videos

Gregory: interesting point

Issa: anyway it doesn't matter if it was al qeada

Gregory: you said it was the whole
reason for Obama's alleged cover up

Issa: I never said that I only blamed 
Obama for Americans being killed

Gregory: I see

Issa: Obama didn't launch F-16s 
because he doesn't care

Gregory: I see

Issa: also maybe Obama covered
up terrorism or maybe not

Gregory: okay

Issa: also no Americans can live in
Benghazi now which is Obama's fault

Mitchell: you claimed it was 
al qaeda which was wrong

Issa: not true – anyway it doesn't
matter because Obama killed people
by not doing anything for 8 hours

Gregory: do you stand by your
statement that the administration
lied about Benghazi?

Issa: they said things that were inaccurate

Gregory: isn't that the fog of war?

Issa: they were under attack and
people said under oath about what the
Ambassador might have done hypothetically

Gregory: initial reports are often wrong

Issa: but the initial reports did not
name a video as a prime cause and
which is clearly nefarious

Gregory: anything else?

Issa: Clapper said he lied to Congress

Mitchell: how do you answer
the charge that Obama totally failed?

Issa: I must reluctantly agree
Andrea but I also admit Obama
should be impeached

Gregory: right

Issa: also Obama let people die
because he's evil

Gregory: let's switch gears and
turn to bashing Obama over Obamacare

Issa: okay

Gregory: will Obamacare survive?

Issa: Obamacare will start killing
people on January first

Gregory: I see

Issa: I fear people will get subsidies
for health care and milk like people
do in the third world and start to
look at health care as if it's
something they should have

Gregory: got it

Issa: we must drive down
health care costs

Gregory: I'd love to ask you how
to do that but we're out of time

[ break ]

Gregory: Benghazi!

Castro: Issa has tried to exploit a
tragedy for a year and it turns
out it was all a fairy tale

Gregory: over one million Americans
have signed up for Obamacare which
is a failure because you need seven
million people signed up by March

Castro: there are also the lifetime
caps and pre-existing conditions
which people like

Gregory: why not keep the good
things and get rid of the unpopular
things like the mandate?

Castro: can't do it Fluffy

Gregory: what about extending
unemployment benefits?

Castro: it's only $300 a month but
people really need that

Gregory: happy new year Juan

Castro: you too Dick

[ break ]

Gregory: a federal judge upheld
bulk collection of metadata so your
client Ed Snowden is not a whistleblower!!

Wizner: we always knew there
would be legal disputes about
his whistleblowerness

Gregory: what evidence do you
have that this program has been abused?

Wizner: metadata collection is
a general warrant like
King George the Third did

Gregory: but people have no legal
expectation of privacy in their phone records

Wizner: that's true for one person
but not for many people

Gregory: I see

Wizner: Ed says he won
by creating the conversation

Gregory: if this is civil disobedience
why not come back to America
and face the musak?

Wizner: because he's being charged
under a law passed during
World War One so it doesn't count

Gregory: got it

Wizner: also in a democracy it's important
to disclose national secrets sometimes

Gregory: in violation of
his oath not to do that

Wizner: no he only took an oath
to follow the Constitution

Gregory: oh okay

Wizner: we just don't feel it's
fair for him to do a lot of time in prison

Gregory: would he ever come back to America?

Wizner: sure if we got a deal

Gregory: amnesty?

Wizner: amnesty isn't always a bad thing –
lots of people got amnesty including
for torturing people

Gregory: he's in Russia which has
no free speech or human rights

Wizner: he's only in Russia because
America revoked his passport when
he was passing through to take
in the lovely Russia spring weather

Gregory: I see

Wizner: it's in no one's interest
for him to stay in Russia

Gregory: is that threat?

Wizner: it could be

Gregory: what can we expect
from Snowden in 2014?

Wizner: he's not a narcissist!

Gregory: well then he doesn't
belong in Washington

Wizner: but you may see more
of him in the coming year

[ break ]

Gregory: what will be the big the story of 2014?

Robinson: should government be big or small

Gregory: that's a good one

Robinson: also racial eruptions like
Zimmerman will crop up again –
especially as we debate the controversy
over whether we should have ended slavery

Gregory: are we still a world leader?

Stearns: yes because the U.S.
economy is growing

Gregory: that can't be right because
it makes Obama look good

Wright: that's right David – India and
Brazil and China are pushing America aside

Gregory: excellent

Wright: also Obama has lost Saudi Arabia

Abrams: everyone in the middle east
thinks Obama is receding

Gregory: let me read a long passage
from The Economist calling Obama
weak and defensive

Stearns: Obama needs to wind down
these disastrous wars

Gregory: dammit Elliott please
bash Obama for me

Abrams: the whole middle east is mad
that Obama didn't invade Syria

Robinson: hey stupid – invading
Iraq was a really fucking bad  idea

Wright: Obama is using diplomacy
to succeed where people like
Elliott Abrams failed

Mitchell: but Obama hesitated on Syria
and now we can't control that
middle east nation and that's sad

Gregory: true

Mitchell: but

Gregory: Obama is retrenching and
we still face terror threats!

Abrams: it's terrible

Gregory: I feel like I am Winston Churchill
after World War One warning about
Adolf Hitler and no is listening to me
am I right Elliott?!?

Abrams: exactly – Obama has
appeased al-qaeda and Obama
not invading Syria is just like Munich

Stearns: with all due respect to
you Fluffy – you're a moron

Gregory: how does a deal with
Iran impact the middle east?

Wright: even Iran wants to see
the war in Syria ended

Gregory: interesting

Wright: everything in Iran –
women's rights and democracy
depends on a nuclear deal

Smith: Billy Graham is 95 years old

Franklin Graham: people are praying for him

Smith: he was the President's pastor

Graham: yes he was

Smith: you were a prodigal son

Graham: but I came back

Smith: you questioned Obama's Christianity

Graham: I am not politically correct

Smith: Pope Francis said 
'who am I to judge gay people'

Graham: God will punish gay people
someday and I just want to warn the
gays about how vindictive god can be

Smith: how nice of you

[ break ]

Gregory: what about Pope Francis?

Mitchell: Pope Francis is the
biggest thing to happen in world this year
I was moved by his message about
caring for the poor – it's novel for a
religious figure to talk about that

Wright: it's quite amazing

Steans: I'm not naive but maybe
we can have peace

Robinson: we've seen advances
in gay marriage – will the culture wars
be over or will the fight go on

Audience: go on

Gregory: and that's another
episode of Meet The Press

1 comment:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Elliott Abrams ought to be in prison, not on our telebision sets.