Sunday, December 15, 2013

Meet The Press – December 15, 2015

Steve Inskeep (NPR)
Kathleen Parker (Washington Post)
Bill Richardson
Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI)
Sen. Patty Murray (D-WA)
Gen. Michael Hayden
Gov. Scott Walker (R-WI)
Nancy Gibbs (Time)

Gregory: OMG Democrats and Republicans
got a budget deal!

Inskeep: it doesn't solve America's 
big problems

Gregory: won't this deal make everything worse

Parker: Boehner needed to call 
out the tea party

Richardson: the grown-ups are in charge!

Gregory: that's good

Richardson: finally Obama is bringing 
in great men from the Clinton 
administration like John Podesta

Gregory: hi Patty Murray and Paul Ryan
what is the lesson the budget breakthrough?

Murray: we got to know each other

Ryan: that's right – you find out what is
important to the other person

Gregory: you lost to Obama in 2012

Ryan: sure but he won and I had to
get over it – government has to function!

Gregory: interesting concept

Ryan: we can't keep having shutdowns
and government in crisis

Gregory: Democrats didn't get
more spending or jobless benefits

Murray: well we also didn't get 
everything we wanted

Gregory: Rubio calls your budget un-American

Ryan: we have real deficit reduction

Gregory: but not very much

Ryan: yeah but it keeps government functioning

Gregory: he probably hates that part too

Ryan: well he is an idiot

Gregory: Boehner yelled at the
tea party in public

Ryan: he got his Irish up

Gregory: you're Irish too

Ryan: look we've got divided government
no one is going to get everything they want

Gregory: you didn't solve the debt
or slash entitlements!

Murray: how did I know that you
were going insist on that Fluffy?

Gregory: entitlements are 
the drivers of our debt!!

Murray: that's not true

Gregory: surprise me – make a deal
right now while we're sitting here

Ryan: how about a Fluffy Post Office

Gregory: I love it!

Ryan: we want to tax reform

Gregory: since when?

Ryan: since next year

Murray: that would be an intense discussion

Gregory: what about the debt ceiling?

Murray: why does it have to be an issue?

Gregory: what about the Grand Bargain?!

Murray: that's not happening

Gregory: you say the President
won't work with you

Ryan: right

Gregory: but he supports this deal

Ryan: true

Gregory: two years ago you said
America was about to become like Greece

Ryan: interest rates will rise
any day now!! I promise!!

Murray: the real problem for business
and people alike are the tea party 
threats to default on our debt

Gregory: what about Obamacare?

Murray: it's succeeding

Gregory: how does it survive politically?

Murray: by saving lives

Ryan: I don't like Obamacare

Gregory: neither do I

Murray: who cares what you think

Ryan: let's focus on what we do
agree on – like Russell Wilson!

Murray: we agreed from the beginning
that we would not yell at each other

Gregory: well you're just no fun at all

[ break ]

Gregory: you were head of the NSA and CIA –
how do you dismantle a security state?

Hayden: that's a good question

Gregory: I'm sure you don't like Snowden
but how else can we stop excess surveillance?

Hayden: what execess?

Gregory: you see no abuses?

Hayden: no there was no abuse

Gregory: but the founding fathers
and the enlightenment says to
look at people's private things the
government must have at least
some level of suspicion

Hayden: no – the Constitution only
says any search must be reasonable
under the circumstances

Gregory: I see

Hayden: look Snowden started an
important debate but it's one we were
going to have anyway – we have to
look at privacy in totality

Gregory: I see

Hayden: we are unique creatures of god
but on the other hand I need a record
of phone call you make and website you visit

Gregory: even porn?

Hayden: oh yes

Gregory: the NSA is worrying about
another of a terror attack and getting
blamed so you're covering
yourselves by collecting everything

Hayden: we sure are

Gregory: but Senators aren't even allowed
to talk about all these controversial programs

Hayden: they could vote
against them and the never do

Gregory: should Snowden be given amnesty?

Hayden: I don't think so

Gregory: will we ever know all
the information he has?

Hayden: I doubt it – he's very
sneaky and won't tell us

Gregory: he might if he got amnesty

Hayden: that would only encourage more
NSA employees to emulate Snowden to
get that sweet deal of losing your job and
living in exile in Russia which chock-full
of liberty and has no surveillance

Gregory: what about getting a search
warrant for the metadata haystack?

Hayden: that's a possibility

Gregory: it we preserve our freedoms
will we be less safe?

Hayden: absolutely yes

Gregory: really?

Hayden: on 9/11 I changed policies
to prevent it from happening again
and I won't go back – I won't I tell ya!

[ break ]

Gibbs: Snowden told Time magazine
he wants people to have an informed debate

Gregory: why didn't you choose
Snowden “Person of the Year”?

Gibbs: because the Pope is so awesome

Gregory: why didn't we have
national debate on surveillance?

Richardson: who is Snowden to decide
to disclose these secrets – some
29 year-old punk??

Gregory: you seem mad

Richardson: the Pope is great and
Snowden should be prosecuted

Gregory: but how can we have an informed
debate without information?

Parker: the most important thing about
Snowden is that now young people hate
Obama and will all vote for Republicans

Gregory: what if the phone company
just had your metadata?

Inskeep: that's a fascinating concept

Gregory: um haven't they always had it?

Inskeep: maybe both things are true –
Snowden should be prosecuted and
also he helped us have a real
debate about information collection

Richardson: he's no hero!

Gregory: Obama is dismal –
please bash Obama for me Kathleen!

Parker: George W. Bush was very
courageous for passing the Patriot Act
which millenials now hate Obama for

Gregory: isn't Obama terrible
because of health care?

Gibbs: Obama is of course a disaster and
if getting sick doesn't become an enjoyable
experience Obama will be the worst ever

Inskeep: yes don't forget Obama's
opponents are often total morons

Gregory: that's true

Inskeep: also Obama doesn't have
to run again so his popularity is irrelevant

Richardson: this budget deal is a turning point 
the tea party is out and the economy and
health care is getting better

Gregory: OMG Scott Walker might
run for President!!
[ grinning ]

Gregory: welcome Scott [ smirking ]

Walker: hi

Gregory: Marco Rubio says the
budget deal is un-American

Walker: I like Paul Ryan but the
deal shows we need to win more in 2014

Gregory: do you like the deal or hate it?

Walker: I like Paul Ryan

Gregory: we all know you like Paul Ryan

Walker: well I do

Gregory: do you like this deal or not

Walker: I like it because it's wake-up call
on how if we don't win more we will be
forced into make more terrible deals like this

Gregory: you hate Obamacare but
you took the subsidies

Walker: I didn't take the Medicaid
expansion but I can't let my
people suffer either

Gregory: if you say so

Walker: I think an alternative to Obamacare
would be people choosing health care

Gregory: what about the 2014 elections?

Walker: Obamacare hurts small business
and will cause another recession

Gregory: so how can you be
elected President in 2016?

Walker: austerity is not the answer!

Gregory: for real?

Walker: you heard me Fluffers

Gregory: you said Chris Christie
is too rude to run for President

Walker: people like candor but you
can't just call someone an idiot

[ break ]

Gregory: on year after Newtown no
supports gun control anymore

Gibbs: that's right – people love guns

Parker: liberals always say 'let's get
rid of all the guns' and I disagree
with that but background checks
seems pretty reasonable

Gregory: you love Paul Ryan for
President in 2016

Parker: he seems more mature
and seasoned – Like Commander
Riker in the last seasons of Star Trek

Gregory: Rubio says the budget can't
be supported by an American

Inskeep: it's easier to run for President
as a Governor than a Senator

Gregory: thank for you that insight Steve
I'll relay that to Obama

Inskeep: thanks David

Gregory: and that's another episode
of Meet The Press

1 comment:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Richardson: finally Obama is bringing
in great men from the Clinton
administration like John Podesta

* sob *