Sunday, April 28, 2013

Meet The Press – April 28, 2013

Sen. John McCain (R-AZ)
Rep. Peter King (R-NY)
Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN)
Sen. Any Klobuchar (D-MN)
Karen Hughes
Tony Blair

Gregory: OMG nerdprom is so funny
but first we might go to war with Syria
and somehow we managed to get
John McCain as a guest

Gregory: Senator did Syria really 
use chemical weapons?

McCain: who knows – he probably would someday

Gregory: right

McCain: Obama gave Assad a green
light to commit mass executions

Gregory: that sounds like something 
Obama would do

McCain: Obama just loves murder

Gregory: so what should we do?

McCain: use missiles to create a
no-fly zone and supply the rebels with guns

Gregory: I like it

McCain: also Russia is flooding
Syria with weapons so we should do also

Gregory: we must not allow a Syria-weapons gap

McCain: Fluffy right now it's an unfair 
fight and a stalemate

Gregory: so if we equalize the fight
it won't be a stalemate anymore?

McCain: where's my pudding?

Gregory: didn't we invade Iraq and find they
didn't have any weapons of mass destruction?

McCain: this is totally different –
we're pretty sure he does and if he
doesn't Assad is a bad guy

Gregory: I stand corrected – so you
think the U.S. should use force?

McCain: sure why not – we can't let chemical
weapons fall into the wrong hands

Gregory: should the U.S. declare war?

McCain: no Americans are tired of war
we should just go in operationally

Gregory: that sounds like an invasion

McCain: oh no - U.S. boots on the ground
would be the worst possible thing we could do
it would turn people against America

Gregory: I see

McCain: on the other hand if we don't
attack the Syrian people will turn against us

Gregory: the Senate fixed airport delays
is that the right approach?

McCain: no the sequester cuts are
crippling America's defenses!

Gregory: Biden says you might have 
won in 2008 if the Republicans hadn't 
crashed the economy

McCain: well that's nice but don't forget 
I ran a terrible campaign

Gregory: true – thanks for coming John

[ break ]

Gregory: Keith should we declare war on Syria?

Ellison: there is a terrible humanitarian
crisis there and we need to do more

Gregory: Peter should we invade Syria?

King: Obama puts America's prestige on the line!

Gregory: that's true

King: but I don't trust those rebels – 
some of them are terrorists

Gregory: like the IRA?

King: ha good one Fluffy

Gregory: please criticize the FBI for me

King: the FBI did not visit Tameralan's mosque
or his friends or neighbors or consult the
FBI crystal ball which can tell who will be a terrorist

Gregory: the FBI dropped the crystal ball!

Ellison: of course you want to blame
the FBI – it's a better story

Gregory: Peter you want to spy on 

King: damn right – even the liberal
Tom Friedman hates muslims – it's all the rage

Gregory: I'm convinced

King: the FBI never even reported
Tameralan to the Boston Police!

Gregory: Keith you're a muslim

Ellison: I'm an American!

Gregory: well make up your mind

Ellison: going after a whole community
is wrong and doesn't help security

Gregory: how is political correctness hurting security?

King: the police never spied on 
Tameralan's mosque because they 
are afraid of being called anti-Islam

Gregory: that's a strong charge Peter

King: the threat to American is coming from muslims

Ellison: the ricin attack didn't come from a muslim

King: that wasn't terrorism that was a
harmless prank like when the IRA bombed civilians

Ellison: muslims love this country!

Gregory: what questions do you have Peter?

King: how can we blame the community
and also how does this affect New York City?

Gregory: thanks for coming guys

King: I'm keeping my eye on you Keith

[ break ]

Gregory: hi panel – how was nerdprom?

Klobuchar: Obama skillfully made fun
of himself and Mitch McConnell

Gregory: George W. Bush was
very good at everything

Todd: Obama took potshots at the media
because he hates Buzzfeed and Politico

Gregory: John McCain thinks Obama
supports mass murder

Klobuchar: McCain talks tough 
but chickened out when you asked 
him about boots on the ground

Murphy: you know I've heard that it's
easier to start a war than end one

Castro: we were fooled over WMD once before

Hughes: no one is for boots on the ground
but al-qaeda is taking over Syria and the
whole world wants us to attack

Todd: the White House regrets drawing that
red line because now there are no good choices

Klobuchar: Assad is more dangerous 
than Qaddafi who was kind of an idiot

Murphy: the rebels might not be good guys

Gregory: what will define Obama's legacy?

Castro: a lot of issues – but I believe
Congress is up to the task

Gregory: you must be joking

Gregory: Karen I love Bush but
his second term was kind of a mess

Hughes: Obama is a failure because
all the big spending and debt

Todd: Obama has one year to get anything
done and since he failed on guns he must
pass immigration reform or Maureen Dowd 
will write another stupid column

Gregory: I've heard Obama is a loser
is that true Amy?

Klobuchar: Obama can bring people together
over the debt and even Republicans
favor immigration reform

[ break ]

Gregory: greetings Prime Minister - 
you supported Bush's invasion of Iraq 
which turned out to be not so brilliant

Blair: after 9/11 I thought it was 
important to do whatever Bush wanted

Gregory: Bush told you not to 
support him if it would hurt you politically

Blair: yes it turns out Bush was 
somewhat shrewd in that regard

Gregory: indeed

Blair: but at the time I thought invading 
Iraq was the right thing to do

Gregory: may I ask why?

Blair: 9/11

Gregory: the Bush library link Iraq and
terrorism which we know is false

Blair: yes but by invading Iraq brought 
out the violent ethnic tribal wackos 
who are arguably like terrorists in that 
sort of extreme kind of way as one sees in 
Africa and Asia all those non-anglo places

Gregory: what about Syria?

Blair: well you know old chap I see this as a
clash of civilizations and you see all these
foreigners who don't believe in freedom like we do

Gregory: Britain has homegrown terrorism

Blair: we must cast out this ideology –
and like fascism or communism or
kardashianism we will fight it for a long time

Gregory: what was it like to sit through
the dedication of the Bush 'library'?

Blair: you can disagree with George W. Bush
but he has great character and integrity

Gregory: no doubt

[ break ]

Gregory: panel what is the Bush legacy?

Murphy: he made the tough decision
to respond to terrorism

Hughes: he cut taxes, gave out prescription drugs,
had tougher standards on education and made
the brave and tough decision to respond 
to massive terror attacks

Klobuchar: he helped rebuild a bridge in my state

Gregory: Bush was actually a fiscal
conservative wasn't he?

Todd: yes and it turns out people love 
prescription drugs

Gregory: I asked Barbara Bush if Jeb Bush 
should run for President and she 
“no we've had enough Bushes”

Hughes: oh any mother will say that about her son

Gregory: really?

Hughes: yes – she also said George W. Bush 
would never beat Ann Richards

Gregory: what a sweet mother

Murphy: don't cross her Fluffy

Gregory: she scares me

Murphy: she terrifies us all

Gregory: and that's another episode
of Meet The Press


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