Sunday, July 24, 2011

Meet The Press - July 24, 2011

Bill Daley (White House Chief of Staff)
Sen. Tom Coburn (R-OK)
Mayor Cory Booker (D-Newark)
Rep. Adam Kinzinger (R-IL)
Fmr. Sen Chuck Hagel (R-NE)
Andrea Mitchell
Doris Kearns Goodwin
Gregory: OMG America is 9 days from
default and we need assure investors that
we actually pay our bills!

Gregory: Bill what’s the solution?

Daley: the President has been very clear -
this is all political theater to demonstrate
concern about the debt

Gregory: I see

Daley: I talk to CEOs every day

Gregory: of course you do

Daley: and they tell me that the problem
with the US economy is the debt

Gregory: interesting

Daley: The Whole World is Watching!

Gregory: so all these negotiations
were gimmicks just for show?

Daley: no a gimmick is Super-Duper
Awesome Debt Cut Committee

Gregory: would Obama agree to a
short term solution?

Daley: only if it guarantees we don’t have
this debate again until after the election in 2012

Gregory: Would the President veto a plan
that doesn’t get us into 2013?

Daley: yes - but don’t worry the
Gang of Six is on top of it

Gregory: so your big idea is this weird
vague Super-Committee?

Daley: what better way to dodge responsibility?

Gregory: it sounds like the slow decline
of a dying empire

Daley: Hope springs eternal

Gregory: Mark Zandi says America
is being tarnished

Daley: Obama is serious person!

Gregory: I also am serious man

Gregory: both sides are equally guilty

Daley: we all know that

Gregory: I will give you the Republican perspective

Daley: of course you will

Gregory: [ high pitched voice ]
Can’t you understand the plight of
millionaires like me who are scared of
higher taxes - why don’t you cut spending
for the lazy poor?!?

Daley: you’ve done very well in this
economy so what are you complaining about?

Gregory: Boehner said Obama demanded
higher taxes and was very mean
and made him cry
[ sobs ]

Daley: he's a weasel who can't control
his own caucus

Gregory: are you saying Boehner
has failed to lead?

Daley: yes - these Tea Partiers are
completely crazy and they walk
all over him

Gregory: that’s seems harsh

Daley: they just defunded the FAA!

Gregory: so let people take a private jet

Gregory: Obama has failed to control
the Tea Partiers too

Daley: um I guess that’s true in
a bizarro way

Gregory: but Obama won’t cut spending

Daley: yes he will - but he wants to
raise taxes too

Gregory: Obama proposed Medicare cuts
so he’s not allowed to talk about it when
he runs for President

Daley: I heard you were a moron but that’s
the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard

Gregory: will there be a debt ceiling
agreement today?

Daley: Congress spent this money already!

Gregory: are we in a financial crisis?

Daley: yes we’ve been in a recession
since 2008 dumbass

[ break ]

Gregory: Senator can we you guys make
a debt-ceiling deal past 2013?

Coburn: Obama increased the size of
government by 30%!

Gregory: is that intended to be a
factual statement?

Coburn: how should I know

Gregory: what about the full faith and
credit of the U.S.?

Coburn: giving Obama more money will
only scare bondholders - he’ll probably
blown it on some Kenyan-themed
party in the White House

Gregory: interesting perspective

Coburn: we shut down the FAA because
people could drive a car instead

Gregory: you seem a little crazy

Coburn: we wouldn’t be here today
Obama would agree to slash entitlements

Gregory: are Republicans willing to raise
taxes and anger Tea Partiers?

Coburn: Obama is basically oppressing
our businesses like Stalin

Gregory: really?

Coburn: Medicare will be bankrupt in 5 years!

Gregory: what is your message to the Tea Party?

Coburn: we can eliminate tax credits for
Wind energy and in exchange we get rid of
Medicaid, Medicare and Social Security

[ break ]

Gregory: according the esteemed publication
in the U.S. The Onion the U.S. is totally screwed

Goodwin: America was founded on
compromise and now people come to D.C. not wanting
to give at all

Kinzinger: the Tea Party has compromised
by agreeing to lift the debt ceiling to pay
for wars we already fought

Gregory: I see

Hagel: we’re seeing a new governing
coalition of independents who hate
Democrats, Republicans and each other

Gregory: I like it

Hagel: people are frustrated because
America is a declining empire

Gregory: what do the American people want?

Hagel: they keep voting parties out of office
because they want America rich and
prosperous again

Mitchell: Obama and Boehner could have
made a deal but the Speaker doesn’t make
any demands on his people

Booker: people are frustrated - they want
pragmatism and not partisanship!

Gregory: bold words indeed Cory

Gregory: Rep. Alan West called
Rep. Wasserman-Schultz vile and despicable
in an e-mail and then demanded that she
insult him to his face

Goodwin: Congress members don’t
hang out and drink with each other -
they trade insults and raise more money

Kinzinger: the Tea Party is willing to compromise
by showing up and demanding what we want

Gregory: I see

Kinzinger: America is great nation with a
great future - but we can’t have all the nice
things we had back in 2008

Hagel: Congress are being more rude
to each other as America declines

Booker: but we worked together in the Depression
and WWII - but now other nations are passing us by

Gregory: I see

Booker: the republicans are right -
we are drowning in debt

Kinzinger: we can’t afford to go to space anymore!

Mitchell: Simpson-Bowles was a great idea
but liberals won’t cut entitlements and I
suppose the Tea Party may be partly to blame

Gregory: is there a radical angry centrist majority?

Goodwin: even primates care about fairness

Gregory: true

Goodwin: we need passionate centrists!!

Gregory: will the Tea Party destroy John Boehner
if he compromises?

Kinzinger: who?

Gregory: Saint Alan Simpson says people are
too mean now

Hagel: oh he’s right poor poor Alan

Booker: don’t just follow the polls!
Stand on principle!

Mitchell: they will probably make a
short-term deal

Gregory: either way it’s exciting

Mitch: why do we even have a debt ceiling
- it’s stupid

Gregory: I’m going to be on Facebook!

Mitchell: oh brother

Gregory: and that’s another episode of
Meet The Press

1 comment:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Booker: people are frustrated - they want
pragmatism and not partisanship!

Gregory: bold words indeed Cory

Broder lives!