Hillary Clinton - U.S. Sec. of State
Sen. Mitch McConnell - (R-Minority Leader)
Fmr. Rep. Harold Ford
Gregory: Good morning - Hosni Mubarak still
clings to power in the face of massive protests
Gregory: Hillary is Mubarak really responding to the will of the people?
Clinton: you have to distinguish between protesters and those fucking looters
Gregory: Is Mubarak stable?
Clinton: I’m not a psychiatrist David
Gregory: what does the U.S. want?
Clinton: an orderly transition to democracy or whatever keeps that damn canal open
Gregory: are you calling for free and fair elections
Clinton: we always have Greggers
Gregory: but do you really mean it this time
Clinton: that’s up to the Egyptian people
Gregory: yes but you could make him leave
if you wanted to
Clinton: our position is very clear - we live in a Twitter and Facebook world now and people demand freedom, democracy and a Starbucks
Gregory: can we keep Murbarak in power?
Clinton: fuck that Fluffy - we need to respond to
the needs of the people!
Clinton: we need to stage in an Intervention -
this guy is totally out of control!
Gregory: but Hosni has always been good to us
Clinton: I was talking about Charlie Sheen
Gregory: Why not just install Murbarak in an apartment in Brooklyn?
Clinton: well he can live peacefully alongside Jews
Gregory: Do you want him in power?
Clinton: stop putting words in my mouth Fluffers
Clinton: we want real democracy not hipster faux-democracy
Gregory: Are Americans in danger?
Clinton: we’re working triple-time on that gregg
[ break ]
Gregory: what the holy hell is happening Rich?
Engel: fighter jets, angry crowds, looting -
it’s like a SuperBowl here
Gregory: I see
Engel: also there’s a total collapse of Law & Order
Gregory: where’s Jerry Orbach when you need him
Engel: also the army may be planning a coup
Engel: the government is encouraging looting and violence and lawlessness to punish the people
Gregory: oh I’m sure that will work
[ break ]
Gregory: Mitch what is your reaction to what is happening in Egypt
McConnell: Republicans love ships in the Suez and Israel so we love Mubarak
Gregory: but you also called for democracy
McConnell: yes we have asked for this for 30 years
Gregory: if only you had some sway over him like money or something
Gregory: will you recognize a government run by the Muslim Brotherhood
McConnell: hell no
Gregory: what mistakes is Obama making?
McConnell: he’s doing what Republicans would do in a crisis - nothing
Gregory: but we give Egypt over a billion dollars a year
McConnell: yes but need access to the pyramids
to communicate with Seti Alpha 5
Gregory: do the lunatics in the tea party drive the GOP?
McConnell: there are no divisions in the Republican party - Democrats are the ones with all the problems!
McConnell: Democrats drove up the deficit and lost million of jobs
Gregory: your reality is quite fascinating
McConnell: thank you
Gregory: will you make big cuts to Social Security?
McConnell: no - we will just cut domestic spending enough now to prevent an economic recovery and get Mitt Romney elected in 2012
Gregory: I see
McConnell: we won’t touch entitlements unless the Democrats do it first
Gregory: you expect Obama to do it without you
McConnell: yes we will very bold - when he acts first
Gregory: will you shut down the government?
McConnell: we have an awesome opportunity to cut spending after not doing anything when Republicans were President
Gregory: so shut the government down or not?
McConnell: give me a fucking break - you try negotiating with that fucking catbird Obama on one side and Rand Paul on the other
Gregory: I hear ya Mitch
McConnell: aw fuck it I love you to man
[ starts sobbing ]
[ they hug ]
Gregory: look at Tweetdeck!!
Indyk: this is a 21st Century revolution - Twitter
and Facebook will bring down dictators all over the region
Gregory: holy crap
Indyk: Shit's gettin' real
Gregory: this guy won Survivor but can he win The Amazing Race?
Indyk: no he’s totally fucked
Gregory: what does this do to Middle East peace?
Indyk: no one knows what the hell is going on
Gregory: Thanks Marty -- Tom what is going there?
Friedman: because Egypt was such a good friend on terror and Israel we gave him a pass on the whole dictator thing
Gregory: and torture
Friedman: actually that was a plus
Gregory: can Mubarak stay?
Friedman: they need get their heads out of the sand and join the 21st century
Gregory: sounds like a plan
Friedman: this dude had 30 years to fix his country and he totally fucked it up
Gregory: wow that is not like America at all
Gregory: I am very scared of Islamic terrorists
Friedman: when you open the lid on a scary society like this you seen anger and rage
Friedman: it’s frightening
Gregory: what should Obama do now?
Friedman: Announce that we support peace, democracy
Gregory: did this revolution surprise you?
Friedman: No my taxi driver in Davos told me it was going to happen
Gregory: oh he was from Egypt?
Friedman: no it was Tom Delay
Gregory: Panel look at this crazy Twitter feed!
Todd: the White House is busy following accounts on twitter #whatthehellisgoingon
Kay: Obama read Mubarak the riot act
Murphy: people in the Middle East want freedom and democracy which means of course they hate America
Ford: these young middle class professionals are angry - they should have had the foresight to be born into a rich connected family
Gregory: this is a real test for Obama!
Todd: except Egypt is not actually in America
Gregory: not technically perhaps
Kay: these protests could show that you don’t have to choose between dictatorship and terrorism
Murphy: true but eventually scary Muslims will probably take over - think Kerensky
Ford: Oh fuck Kerensky - it’s all about tumbldeck and Facetweet and Mysquare and Grouplinkd!!
Gregory: are those real?
Ford: who the fuck cares?
Gregory: Obama reinvented his Presidency in his State of the Union
Todd: Obama will merge two cabinet departments
Gregory: which ones?
Todd: Commerce and Housing &
Gregory: Republicans want see Social Security destroyed - they just want Obama to do it for them
Murphy: Obama needs to jump off a cliff for the
good of America
Gregory: Independents hate spending
Ford: Obama needs to cut Social Security
Gregory: so we’re all agreed - Obama must take steps to guarantee his defeat
Ford: yes - that and create some jobs
Kay: Unemployment will still be high in 2012 - but if Obama cuts entitlements he may be reelected cause Independents love that
Todd: the GOP have abandoned jobs in favor of banning gun-free gay abortions in downtown Washington DC
Gregory: why doesn’t Mitt Romney announce already?
Murphy: he’s playing it cool
Todd: Romney you can’t skip Iowa - those farmers will gut you with their folksy pitchforks
Ford: the best thing politicians can do now is slash their budgets - people love that
Gregory: of course
Ford: the Egypt crisis is good for Romney
Gregory: he is a bit dim but he’s a serious white
man with big shoulders
Ford: that’s what we need
Gregory: speaking of that next week we celebrate the 100th birthday of Ronald Reagan