Guest:
Admiral Michael Mullen - Chair, Joint Chiefs of Staff
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Amanpour: Hey we’re finally leaving Afghanistan
- in four years
Field reporter: Afghan civilians want Americans
to stay in Afghanistan because they are saving the lives of kids wounded by suicide bombers trying to kill Americans
Audience: of course
Field reporter: but we can’t kill our way out of Afghanistan because fighters can always hide
in Pakistan
Audience: hmmm
Reporter: so we have to teach Afghans how to fight - a concept they are unfamiliar with
Amanpour: Admiral is North Korea a grave threat
to America?
Mullen: Oh yes they are led by a dictator who
is determined to destabilize Asia and fund horrible movies
Amanpour: how could we let Korea get nukes?
Mullen: we tried sanctions but they never had anything to begin with so they didn’t work
Amanpour: so what’s the answer?
Mullen: we need to work with all world’s major powers - China, Russia, Europe and Facebook
Amanpour: fascinating
Mullen: Korea is predictable in it’s unpredictability
Amanpour: that makes sense
Mullen: he blows hot and cold
Amanpour: he’s like a character in a Katy Perry song
Mullen: he kissed a girl
Amanpour: I like it
Mullen: Obama is going to ask the Chinese to rein
in that wacko
Amanpour: Should we be terrified?
Mullen: Definitely
Amanpour: the GOP stopped START
Mullen: I know Christine - it’s crazy
Amanpour: but is it really a good idea - the GOP says it’s a government takeover of nuclear weapons
Mullen: it’s very critical
Amanpour: but wouldn’t this weaken America if we only have 5,000 nuclear weapons
Mullen: true there are fewer inspections but there aren’t as many bombs now
Amanpour: Obama has promised to modernize
our nukes?
Mullen: right - they will not longer use Vista
Amanpour: well that’s sounds good - but why do
we need this agreement which involves a bunch of foreigners
Mullen: hey the Russians allowed us to get bogged down in a quagmire in Afghanistan - we owe them!!
Amanpour: how can we put pressure on Iran and Korea if we don’t ratify START?
Mullen: the Russians are starting to wonder if we’re idiots
Amanpour: We’re going to stay in Afghanistan until 2014 - why the rush?
Mullen: It will be like Iraq - we’re not actually leaving but they will be doing the fighting
Amanpour: that’s nice but Iraq is a freaking paradise compared to Afghanistan
Mullen: the Afghans are learning to fire a gun and should have mastered it by 2012
Amanpour: do really think Afghans can learn
to run Afghanistan in just 4 years?
Mullen: amazingly yes
Amanpour: are you doubling down on killing
the Taliban?
Mullen: we are starting to reverse the losses of
the Bush years
Amanpour: what’s the deal this loon Karzai
Mullen: he’s pissed about the civilians we kill -
but you know the Taliban kill a lot of innocent people too!
Amanpour: Al Qaeda is now issuing white papers, Powerpoint presentations and fourth quarter performance reviews
Mullen: I like it
Amanpour: how about gays in the military
Mullen: they should serve openly because after all lying is dishonorable
Amanpour: Israel has open gays so why not us
Mullen: true but they don’t face an existential threat to their future existence like we do
Amanpour: they are surrounded by enemies
Mullen: I was talking about “Dancing With the Stars”
Amanpour: the Marine commandant is scared of
gay cooties
Mullen: that guy DVRs “Glee” so he’s one to talk
Amanpour: Thanks for coming Admiral
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