David Axelrod - Presidential Advisor
Tapper: David why does everyone hate Obama?
Axelrod: If I had to guess I would say it’s because Bush left us a horrible recession
Tapper: fair point
Axelrod: Republicans costs us 3 million jobs, blew a surplus, started two wars and a financial meltdown
Tapper: perhaps so - but white people think
he’s a slacker
Axelrod: oh bullshit if the economy was roaring people would love him
Tapper: how can you get anything done if you
can’t do anything?
Axelrod: oh no we still may be able to persuade Republicans to cut taxes
Tapper: dare to dream
Axelrod: not only that - Obama went to a plant in Missouri that makes bumper cars - we control
the global market in useless shit
Tapper: 70% of Americans think the stimulus failed
Axelrod: because the Bush recession was that bad!
Tapper: are the American people stupid?
Axelrod: Two and Half Men is the number one
sitcom and you have to ask?
Tapper: White businessmen say Obama is a Marxist and they refuse to create new jobs until he arrests all the black panthers
Axelrod: well Bush must have been in the Shining Path because they eliminated 3 million jobs when
he was President
Tapper: good point
Axelrod: and by the way lack of regulation caused the financial meltdown in the first place - not to mention BP!
Tapper: is the President worried that BP experts
may not be rocket scientists?
Axelrod: oh no they’re clearly on top of the situation
Tapper: really - cause they seem like idiots
Axelrod: well yeah
Tapper: OMG a recess appointment violates the Constitution!!
Axelrod: you’re shitting me right
Tapper: yes but you’re setting the stage for GOP Presidents to act unethically and outside the law
Axelrod: [ spit take ] It’s a little late for that
Tapper: yeah but you’re playing games - he
could have had a hearing
Axelrod: I really don’t give a shit
Tapper: General Petraeus wants to train an army of Village Idiots but Hamid Karzai says that cuts
in on his action
Axelrod: there’s plenty of room for both
Tapper: Did Obama lean on Blago to make Val Jarrett a Senator
Tapper: yes or no
Axelrod: so what if he did?
Tapper: I dunno
Axelrod: well there you go
[ break ]
Tapper: Luis is Mexican crime contaminating the purity of Arizona?
Gutierrez: some would say American drug addiction is causing crime in Mexico!
Tapper: Jan Brewer says most immigrants are coming to the U.S. to behead Americans
Bilbray: well that is not true but in fairness Gov. Brewer has seen her state become the kidnap
capital of the world
Tapper: that’s a lie as well
Bilbray: whatever - the point is there are too many illegals employed in Chicago
Gutierrez: fuck the border - the point is people overstay their visa
Bilbray: Mastercard too
Gutierrez: an American job: priceless
Tapper: what should we do with 12 million people here already?
Bilbray: first we stop paying people to be illegal and then we give deportation a chance
Tapper: would you deport 12 million and put them
in the back of the line?
Bilbray: we can’t reward illegal behavior!
Tapper: should we arrest Dick Cheney, Wall Street and BP executives?
Bilbray: oh noe!
Gutierrez: these people have been here for 20 years and have American children
Bilbray: well they’re not going to deport themselves
Gutierrez: finally we agree
Bilbray: well they might if we ask them nicely
Tapper: hell let’s all go