July 18, 2010
Guest:
Vice President Joe Biden
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Tapper: You’ve accomplished a lot but people
are still really unhappy
Biden: we have meat inspection so Financial Regulation like that but we’ll people inspecting Goldman Sachs’ meat
Tapper: I see
Biden: it will take time for people to like us
Tapper: can you do it by November?
Biden: considering the Republicans are fucking insane - yes
Tapper: are you calling the American people stupid?
Biden: Bush lost 8 million jobs and we’re adding
jobs slowly but surely
Tapper: really?
Biden: I sit around the kitchen table and people
just want to know their President isn’t a muslim socialist black panther
Tapper: Is he?
Biden: no we’ve made this clear - he is not a muslim
Tapper: oh ok
Biden: it will just take time to explain what are in
the 1,000 page bills
Tapper: how bad will Democratic losses be in the fall
Biden: I have been sent out to repudiate Bob Gibbs - we’re going to the House and Senate!
Tapper: are you sure?
Biden: Look at Harry Reid - people thought he was dead until the Republicans nominated a psychotic
Tapper: good point
Tapper: is the Tea Party racist?
Biden: of course it is
Tapper: really?
Biden: no of course I have to say it isn’t a racist party - it’s merely party full of racists
Tapper: why are there no jobs?
Biden: It’s France’s fault
Tapper: Merde!
Tapper: Was the stimulus too small?
Biden: Well the Administration, Republicans,
Paul Krugman and Atrios thinks so
Tapper: and they were right!
Biden: Duh - but the Republican wouldn’t let us have a bigger one
Tapper: that’s sad
Biden: Wind! Solar! Supertrains!
Tapper: Exciting!
Biden: We’re creating jobs - not fast enough maybe but we are
Tapper: Are we going to withdraw from
Afghanistan or not?
Biden: Fuck yes! Bet. On. It.!!
Tapper: I’m suspicious
Biden: We’re going to pull out province by province
Tapper: Ok
Biden: Really I was telling the military to suck it up
Tapper: I just remember I wanted to ask you another question - what the fuck are we doing there??
Biden: Sure Jake people are being killed but that’s the lack of foliage
Tapper: Did you say fucking foliage??
Biden: Yes Osama is hiding behind some
very big trees
Tapper: Good god
Tapper: McChrystal called you Joe Bite Me
Biden: I like him because he didn’t let the door hit his ass when Obama canned that insubordinate fucker
Tapper: you didn’t take it personally?
Biden: oh no - I just told Barack to shitcan him
Tapper: Why did he hate you?
Biden: Because I don’t take a lot of shit from a bunch of preening Generals who think they are the reincarnation of George fucking Patton
Tapper: The Iraq Parliament met for 20 minutes
Biden: that’s great
Tapper: were you right that the country should be divided into three parts
Biden: yes - it’s totally fucked there
Tapper: but we’re staying
Biden: sure politics has broken out - it’s a big fucking deal!
Tapper: but it’s not working
Biden: Hey it’s took the Dutch 6 months to form
a government
Tapper: got another example?
Biden: the Netherlands too 270 days!
Tapper: that’s the same country Joe
Biden: and they have hash bars!
Tapper: what’s the larger strategy to combat islamofascism?
Biden: Build strong pro-American countries
Tapper: so going to the muslim world to build nations will make them love us
Biden: Obama can talk to them as a fellow muslim
Tapper: I thought you said he wasn’t a muslim
Biden: oh right - I meant he wasn’t a socialist
Tapper: well that much is obvious
Biden: I love me some Tapper
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