Sunday, June 28, 2009

The Chris Matthews Show - June 28, 2009

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Matthews: OMG Obama's health care plan
could have saved Michael Jackson!

Rather: you can put a frog in a skillet
but you can't make it dance

Kay: there can be no consensus between insurance companies and the non-bloodsucking American community

Cooper: he's trying to avoid bill clinton's mistakes

Tweety: Sanford should have tried that!

Ignatius: giving people health care will bankrupt the country

Matthews: but insurers are the best!

Ignatius: at making money, yes

Kay: you may get Snowe and Collins on board

Tweety: you maniacs you blew it up!

Matthews: OMG Obama is smokin'!

White House Press Corp: We are shameless on pressing this very very important issue after all it's almost like going to war!

Rather: we should report on this because Obama’s smoking has a great impact young people considering losing a limb in Iraq!

Matthews: I am optimistic about Iran!

Ignatius: that's because you are a idiot

Matthews: but the Supreme Leader!

Ignatius: Diana Ross?

Matthews: yeah!

Ignatius: long-term the Ayatollah is fucked

Tweety: should Obama try to crack them
like an egg and refuse to negotiate

Kay: that won’t help

Matthews: Obama's very dainty and gay

Cooper: you can't work the Iranians
Chris they're fuckers!

Rather: you can teach a donkey math but don't make him Fermat

Matthews: do they realize the West will prevent them from having the bomb?

Kay: hey all the parties in Iran are assholes it's just that one side stole an election

Cooper: true but Mousavi wanted to
reach out to the West

Ignatius: we were all set to talk and then this
crazy shit happened

Matthews: tell me about Michael Jackson!

Kay: he taught my generation to dance badly

Cooper: when I fled repression i took a teddy
bear and "Off the Wall"

Rather: MJ led directly to the election of Obama and was the face of America to the rest of the world

Chris: wow!

Ignatius: i tried to moonwalk

Matthews: good god you are the whitest man I know

Cooper: it was weird he was a young black man and then he turned into a cross between Liza Minelli and Joel Grey

Matthews: what an American story!

Matthews: does the GOP have any credibility
on family values?

Kay: oh they'll still ride that hypocrisy horse

Rather: the Dems are just as much to blame

Cooper: they're all incorrigible

Ignatius: um doods Obama has family values and the GOP it appears does not

Matthews: ha!
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Posted by Culture of Truth

7 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I'm glad I didn't watch.

I'd be crying instead of laughing.
~

Anonymous said...

these transcripts would read better if you called out the dramatis personae at the beginning. is rather dan rather? are "chris" "matthews" and "tweety" three different people? how should i know?

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Anonymous said...

these transcripts would read better if you called out the dramatis personae at the beginning. is rather dan rather? are "chris" "matthews" and "tweety" three different people? how should i know?

2:43 PM
===============
If you watched the shows, you would know.

Don't be such a weiner!
~

Anonymous said...

Ignatius saying that he tried to moonwalk, but of course failed, was indeed hilarious.

Oh, and ifthethunderdontgetya, if you gotta ask, you aren't part of the Village. Also.

PaminBB

commie atheist said...

Ignatius: um doods Obama has family values and the GOP it appears does not

Obama take his wife out to dinner: Conservatards go nuts, start flinging poop everywhere. Obama has ice cream with daughters: Conservatards scream and wail that Obama doesn't care about Iranian protestors.

Ensign fucks around on wife, gets jobs for lover, lover's husband and lover's son: Conservatards say no big deal, Clinton, Spitzer McGrevey were worse. Sanford ditches kids on Father's Day to go fuck Argentinian hottie: Conservatards say "Aw, look, he's in love, it's so cute, stop prying into people's private lives."

Suck on my family values.

Culture of Tr√úth said...

Anonymous,

Thanks, I will consider that.

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